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Modern Day John Henry

01 Mar 06 - 06:21 PM (#1682659)
Subject: Modern Day John Henry
From: GUEST,Gerry

Modern-Day John Henry Dies Trying To Out-Spreadsheet Excel 11.0
Story here
at The Onion.
Whoever wrote this story knows his way around the folk world pretty well.


02 Mar 06 - 04:11 AM (#1683015)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Flash Company

Oh Boy, love that!
If no one beats me to it I will convert it to verse before the day is out.

FC


02 Mar 06 - 07:45 AM (#1683092)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Flash Company

Wally Peters was just a little fellow,
He was sitting on his Mammy's knee,
Said that Bill Gates fella at the Microsoft corp,
Well he's gonna be the death of me, Lordy-lord,
Well he's gonna be the death of me

Wally Peters was a number cruncher, he was the best in the land, an' he died with his pencil in his hand, tell you all about him....

Wally Peters was just a little fellow,
Soaking wet he weighed one hundred pound,
But he made his stand with a pencil in each hand
And he beat that ole Excel down Lordy-lord
He beat that ole Excel down

Well Tom Kaptein he said to Wally Peters,
I will end your career right soon,
Going to bring in a computer to do all of your jobs
It'll do them by the light of the moon, Lordy-lord,
it'll do them by the light of the moon

Wally Peters he said to Tom Kaptein,
Lord a man aint nothing but a man,
But before I let your Excel beat me down
Going to die with my pencil in my hand, Lordy=lord,
Going to die with my pencil in my hand.

Wally Peters sat down in his cubicle,
With the Excel running alongside,
Well he works so fast that his pencil starts to melt,
And he laid down his pencil and he died, Lordy-lord,
And he laid down his pencil and he died

Wally Peters he had a little woman,
An' her name was Polly Ann,
She said bring out your hearses and your rubber tyred hacks,
'Cos that Bill Gates killed my man, Lordy-lord
'Cos that Bill Gates killed my man.

Well there's some say he came from England,
There's some say he came from France,
Y'all know he's nothing but a Baltimore man,
The leader of the number crunching gang, Lordy-lord
The leader of the number crunching gang!

Flash Company (aka Brian Quinn)02 March 06
Acknowledgement to the late Huddie Leadbetter for the original and the late Lonnie Donegan for the spoken passage after verse one.


FC


02 Mar 06 - 08:57 AM (#1683150)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Keith A of Hertford

Excellent!


02 Mar 06 - 09:05 AM (#1683157)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Essex Girl

Excellent, heartfelt from a lifelong number cruncher!!


02 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM (#1683159)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Azizi

Flash Company, that's wonderful!

But may I get just a little bit nit picky here by saying that your comment "Acknowledgement to the late Huddie Leadbetter for the original"..could be interpreted to mean that Huddie Leadbetter composed "John Henry", when actually it is an African American folk song with no known original composers. Leadbelly learned it {and probably added to it}, but certainly didn't compose it from stratch.


02 Mar 06 - 02:44 PM (#1683444)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Amos

Ya know, Flash, I think you may find a very similar and earlier song about an accountant who died with a pencil in his hand, trying to out-calculate a computer, from back in the late 80's, if memory serves. I'd look it up but I am crunched myself at the moment.

A


03 Mar 06 - 06:55 AM (#1684203)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Flash Company

Amos.. Anything is possible, I suppose. My singing career was just about over by the '80's, so I didn't come across it.
But as my ole Gran would have said 'Great minds think alike , and fools seldom differ'

FC


04 Mar 06 - 09:31 PM (#1685334)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: GUEST,LilyRose

Yes; that song fromthe 80's was called "Henry the Accountant"; I happened upon this thread while trying to find it myself. I'd typed in "he laid down his pencil and he died..." which I remember as lyrics from that song.

No idea who wrote it or recorded it, though.


04 Mar 06 - 09:35 PM (#1685337)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: GUEST,LilyRose

Found it. I had the line wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Henry the Accountant

1982 by Paul Kaplan
Sung to the tune of "John Henry"

Henry was an accountant.
He worked with a pencil in his hand.
If you had something you needed added up, then
Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord,
Henry the Accountant was your man.
Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord,
Henry the Accountant was your man.

When Henry was a little baby,
Sitting on his daddy's knee,
He picked up a crayon and a little piece of paper, and said
"Two plus one equals three," Lord, Lord,
"Two plus one equals three."
"Two plus one equals three," Lord, Lord,
"Two plus one equals three."

The man who bought the first calculator
He thought he was mighty fine.
He walked up to Henry with a sneer on his lip and said
"Your job is gonna be mine, Lord, Lord,
Your job is gonna be mine.
Your job is gonna be mine, Lord, Lord,
Your job is gonna be mine."

Henry stood up and drew his weapon,
He said, "A man isn't anything but a man."
"We'll have ourselves a race and I'll put you in your place or
I'll die with my pencil in my hand, Lord, Lord,
I'll die with my pencil in my hand.
I'll die with my pencil in my hand, Lord, Lord,
I'll die with my pencil in my hand."

So each man grabbed a fifty-pound ledger.
And Henry went to work with all his might.
Though his hand was getting cramped and his shirt was getting damp, still
He swore that he would not give up the fight, Lord, Lord,
He swore that he would not give up the fight.
He swore that he would not give up the fight, Lord, Lord,
He swore that he would not give up the fight.

After three long hours of battle
The man with the machine had moved ahead.
He had Henry beat 'til on the final sheet
Suddenly his batteries went dead, Lord, Lord.
Suddenly his batteries went dead.
Suddenly his batteries went dead, Lord, Lord.
Suddenly his batteries went dead.

So Henry beat that calculator.
Now his powers could never be denied.
But the terrible strain had been too much for his brain, so
He laid down his glasses and he died, Lord, Lord.
He laid down his glasses and he died.
He laid down his glasses and he died, Lord, Lord.
He laid down his glasses and he died.

So they buried Henry in the graveyard
With his trusty pencil and his pad.
And when their checks don't clear they always shed a tear
For the last human being who could add, Lord, Lord,
The last human being who could add.
He was the last human being who could add, Lord, Lord,
The last human being who could add.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


05 Mar 06 - 11:06 AM (#1685621)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Flash Company

Hi, Lily Rose, I like that. I honestly never saw it before, but as I said earlier, fools seldom differ!

FC


05 Mar 06 - 06:50 PM (#1685981)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Snuffy

Paul Kaplan's song HENRY THE ACCOUNTANT has been here in the DT for ages


07 Mar 06 - 09:20 AM (#1687235)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: Amos

My God! It is actually a true story!!.


A


07 Mar 06 - 09:29 PM (#1687913)
Subject: RE: Modern Day John Henry
From: GUEST,Gerry

Er, Amos, the link you've given is exactly the one I gave
when I started this thread.