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BS: Drunks only

15 Apr 05 - 12:56 AM (#1461812)
Subject: BS: Drinking and posting
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie

This thread is intended only for people who have had a drink or two.


If sober, you are requested to move along.


15 Apr 05 - 01:53 AM (#1461828)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Peace

And that goes for yer cat, too.


15 Apr 05 - 03:08 AM (#1461856)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Liz the Squeak

Is there a time limit on this? I had a little drink several hours ago but am no longer tired and am already at home....

LTS


15 Apr 05 - 03:51 AM (#1461881)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Wilfried Schaum

Good bye.


15 Apr 05 - 05:26 AM (#1461915)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: John O'L

Haven't had a drink for weeks, and on reading this thread I've been inspired to open a bottle.

Thanks Bill, here's to you, son.


15 Apr 05 - 05:57 AM (#1461933)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: John MacKenzie

I'm not as thunk as some drinkle peep I am, I've only had tee martoonis.
Goki


15 Apr 05 - 06:17 AM (#1461945)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Georgiansilver

Some of us are only inebriated with the exuberance of our own verbosity...like word drunk!


15 Apr 05 - 06:52 AM (#1461960)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie

there's an old mill by the ssssstreeeeam


15 Apr 05 - 07:49 AM (#1462005)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Raptor

Martinis

I'll only have one.

Two at the most.

After 3 I'm under the table.

After 4 I'm under my host.

Author Unknown!

Raptor


15 Apr 05 - 08:18 AM (#1462021)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: The Fooles Troupe

Burp!


15 Apr 05 - 08:55 AM (#1462053)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Dave Hanson

I'll get back to yer.

eric


15 Apr 05 - 10:16 AM (#1462124)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: bobad

Guess that leaves me out as I'm sotally tober.


15 Apr 05 - 10:21 AM (#1462129)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: ToulouseCruise

well, for me it only takes one beer to get me drunk...


... I just can't figure out if it is the 15th or 16th....



Brian, one of "Two Loose Screws"


15 Apr 05 - 10:38 AM (#1462150)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Anonymous

real cheap drunk here, only have to hear word "Drunk" and am


15 Apr 05 - 10:43 AM (#1462155)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu

Drink? No. Not since they invented the funnel.

Along the same lines, Brian... I am allergic to alcohol. After a half dozen drinks, I get dizzy. Much more than that and I throw up.


15 Apr 05 - 11:27 AM (#1462191)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: JennyO

From Wayne and Shuster:

Guy in bar - "I'll have a martinus"

Bartender - "You mean martini"

Guy in bar - "If I want two I'll ask for 'em."


15 Apr 05 - 02:11 PM (#1462324)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Liz the Squeak

Good old Tom Lehrer -

'Hearts full of youth, hearts full of truth, 6 parts gin to 1 part vermouth!'

LTS


15 Apr 05 - 02:29 PM (#1462334)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu

Here's to you, and here's to me. And, if, by chance, we disagree, fuck you, here's to me.

Past the lips and past the gums, look out stomach, here it comes.


15 Apr 05 - 02:44 PM (#1462351)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: sixtieschick

"Lechery, sir, it provokes and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance."
                                                --Shakespeare, Macbeth


15 Apr 05 - 02:48 PM (#1462354)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Leadfingers

I used to drink a lot , but now I dont drink any more . The problem is I dont drink any less ! Maybe I'll something to add after the pubs close !


15 Apr 05 - 02:50 PM (#1462355)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu

Fucking drunk?


15 Apr 05 - 03:40 PM (#1462397)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Susu's Hubby

I got this from my grandfather.
I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and my wife told me to empty the contents down the sink or else. So I proceeded witht he unpleasent task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the drain with the exception of one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likeways, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I then withdrew the third bottle and emptied the good ole booze down the drain except a drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of the next glsass and poured the cork down the bottle. I pulled the cork out of my throat and poured the sink down the bottle and drank the glass, Then I corked the sink with the glass and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles and corks and glasses with the other which were 29. To be sure I counted them again whan the house came by and I had 73. As the house and I passed by I counted them again and finally the house and the bottles and corks and glasses counted except one house and one bottle which I drank.


15 Apr 05 - 03:41 PM (#1462398)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Emma B

"Let us drink to have wit, not to destroy it!
Panard
C18th French poet


15 Apr 05 - 04:01 PM (#1462416)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu

Bartender! More glue. We gotta hold this party together.


15 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM (#1462433)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: skipy

Slops! (out of date if poss!)
sklippyeeiaeeo!


16 Apr 05 - 01:04 AM (#1462741)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine

I don't have a drinking problem.

I drink
I get drunk
I fall down

No problem


16 Apr 05 - 05:23 AM (#1462839)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,van lingle

An jus remember, ish no fun drinking alone until you've had 2 or 3.


16 Apr 05 - 05:33 AM (#1462844)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Dave Hanson

Bollocks, I was too drunk to log on again last night and now I'm feckin sober again.

eric


16 Apr 05 - 09:36 AM (#1462923)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: The Fooles Troupe

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......


16 Apr 05 - 12:52 PM (#1463012)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: JennyO

Best Fruit Cake Ever

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, 1 cup sugar, 4 large eggs, 1 cup dried fruit, 1 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp salt, lemon juice, 1 cup brown sugar, 1 or 2 quarts whiskey

Steps:

Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the whiskey again as it must be just right. To be sure the whiskey is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With a electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp of thuger and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure the whiskey is of the finest quality. Cry another tup. Open second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey again, thecking for tonsicisity, then sift 2 cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter. Sample the whuskey. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar,or whatever color you can find and wix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the whiskey again, and bo to ged.


16 Apr 05 - 01:40 PM (#1463034)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T

My uncle used to suffer from Alcoholic Constipation. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pass a pub.

Don T.


16 Apr 05 - 02:37 PM (#1463070)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Seaking

Just going out, may see you later...


16 Apr 05 - 03:53 PM (#1463121)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Jim McLean

How do you order a dry martini in German if you only want one?


16 Apr 05 - 08:11 PM (#1463230)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: annamill

I work as a Trolley Driver now! I'm not allowed to drink for 8 hrs before I actually drive. I have off tomorrow, Monday and don't have to be at work til 1pm Tuesday....

Nibblin' on sponge cake
Watching the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strumming my six-string
On my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp, they're beginning to boil

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
But I know
It's nobody's fault

I don't know the reason
I stayed here all season
Nothing to show but this brand new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
A Mexican cutie
How it got here I haven't a clue

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be my fault

I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heal had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
But I know
It's my own damned fault

Yes and some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
And I know
It's my owned damned fault

I love California!!!



Life ain't to bad.

Love, Annamill


16 Apr 05 - 08:14 PM (#1463234)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: annamill

too... sorry!


20 Apr 05 - 12:22 AM (#1466057)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Curdle

She's a big girl and a bonnie girl and she likes her beeeeeeer


20 Apr 05 - 06:33 PM (#1466624)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Dominie

Curdle

Lass, lass not girl, girl.


20 Apr 05 - 07:57 PM (#1466672)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Waaght all thgis id aboioiutr?
i wiomnder waht thfis thread fotr thyen?


21 Apr 05 - 08:49 AM (#1466936)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine

OK jOhn, I'll have one with you, ta.


21 Apr 05 - 01:07 PM (#1467132)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: NH Dave

Do you know the difference between a common drunk and an alcoholic?
















Us common drunks don't have to go to those damned meetings!

Dave


21 Apr 05 - 06:23 PM (#1467373)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Chris Green

I 'aven't ad a c*** all night, drinkstable!


21 Apr 05 - 07:51 PM (#1467433)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Gray D

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . YOU'RE MY BESHT MATES, YOU ARE!

Gray . . . er . . . what iz it? . . . letter . . . aaalphabet . . . no, don't tell me . . .


22 Apr 05 - 12:03 AM (#1467645)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Conrad Kilton

Ooops woz gonna post something but i just sobered up


22 Apr 05 - 12:30 PM (#1468088)
Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Kismet Hardy

OK who spilt my pint?


Was it you 4-eyesh?