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09 Sep 02 - 10:26 AM (#779659) Subject: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Bee-dubya-ell Anyone have the lyrics to the very non-PC bluegrass novelty song "Always Marry an Ugly Girl"? I only heard it once, in a campground jam about twenty-five years ago. The chorus goes something like: Always marry an ugly girl/ That's the only kind/ She will never leave you, but/ If she does you just won't mind. The tune is similar to "Bile Them Cabage Down" or John Prine's "Frying Pan Song". A Google search turned up a few references to the song on bands' setlists, CD track lists etc., but no lyrics. Thanks, Bruce |
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09 Sep 02 - 10:29 AM (#779663) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Alice I've always heard it as always marry and ugly man. |
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09 Sep 02 - 10:34 AM (#779669) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Alice From an old thread, but no lyrics posted.
Subject: RE: ugly gal
Found an index listing Flatt & Scruggs
as recording "ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL!"
Will try to dig it out after the weekend...
And I also have at least one other version... |
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09 Sep 02 - 02:29 PM (#779879) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Nigel Parsons Reminds me of a calypso style song, (don't quote me on the actual words, but)
"If you want to stay happy for the rest of your life or something like that Nigel |
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09 Sep 02 - 03:07 PM (#779902) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: John MacKenzie If you wanna stay happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So from my personal point of view, Get an ugly girl to marry you Spoken :- Hey man , I saw your wife the other day, and she sure is ugly Reply :- Yea man, but she sure can cook From a Trini Lopez album, way back when. It may even have been the B side of, If I had a hammer. Not that I subscribe to this sexist point of view, he said quickly.*BG*. DARFC. Failte.....Giok. |
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10 Sep 02 - 05:41 AM (#780269) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Hrothgar Marry a big, fat, tattooed woman - you get shade in the summer, warmth in the winter, and moving pictures all year round! :-)) |
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10 Sep 02 - 08:28 AM (#780334) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Willie-O Hyuck, hyuck. Dumbass redneck humour. Once long ago I was at a party at a potato farm where I had been working. We were celebrating the end of the harvest. This bigmouth asshole redneck (there's a couple in every crowd, which obscures the fact that most rural folk are actually decent human beings) actually said "I got no worries cause I married an ugly girl", and his wife was sitting right beside him. What a jerk. I think of that when I've heard this song. It ain't funny to me because there are these dumbasses who actually think that way. W-O |
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10 Sep 02 - 07:26 PM (#780854) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Genie Well, Giok, I always sing the song you cited as: If you wanna stay happy for the rest of your life, Never be a pretty gentleman's wife, So, from my personal point of view, Get an ugly guy to marry you. ¤;-D |
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11 Sep 02 - 05:17 PM (#781520) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: John MacKenzie Genie that's amazing, can you see down your computer? I must put some clothes on.*BG* Failte.....Giok |
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11 Sep 02 - 05:38 PM (#781533) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Little Hawk Wouldn't the corollary to this be always to marry a stupid man? - LH |
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11 Sep 02 - 06:00 PM (#781546) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Nathan in Texas Bee-dubya-ell, you have the chorus right, as I've heard it. The verses I remember are:
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11 Sep 02 - 06:52 PM (#781581) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Bee-dubya-ell Many thanks, Nathan in Texas. I'll add this one to the misogynist setlist along with "Give Me Back My Five Dollars" and "Baldheaded End of a Broom". Just doing my part to piss off the perpetually politically correct. Bruce |
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13 Sep 02 - 01:18 PM (#783157) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Jim Dixon We still haven't found the song... "Always Marry an Ugly Girl" has been recorded by Al Batten on "Instrumentals & Insanities and by the Cypress Creek Band on Thank God for the Lighthouse. I have also found references to a song (or songs) called "Ugly Girl" at CDNOW. |
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14 Sep 02 - 11:44 AM (#783826) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Rustic Rebel Reminds me of the song that goes Ugly and slouchy, that's the way I like them. You never have no fear of them lovin' someone else. |
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14 Sep 02 - 11:38 PM (#784197) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Nathan in Texas Remembered another verse: Once an ugly girl was born, Her daddy kissed her on the chin. He turned her over and looked at her And said, "Good heavens, we've got twins!" |
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16 Sep 02 - 12:50 PM (#785222) Subject: Lyr Add: IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY (from Jimmy Soul) From: Jim Dixon Although this is probably not the song that was asked for, it's probably the best known "ugly girl" song. Found at several places on the web. (Click here to play a .wav file.) IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY (Carmela Guida, Frank Guida & Joseph Royster) CHORUS: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, Never make a pretty woman your wife. So, from my personal point of view, Get an ugly girl to marry you. REPEAT CHORUS. A pretty woman makes her husband look small, And very often causes his downfall. As soon as he's married her, then she starts To do the things that will break his heart. But if you make an ugly woman your wife, You'll be happy for the rest of your life. An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time. She'll always give you peace of mind. CHORUS. INSTRUMENTAL BREAK Don't let your friends say you have no taste. Go ahead and marry anyway. Though her face is ugly [and] her eyes don't match, Take it from me, she's a better catch. CHORUS. SPOKEN: (VOICE 1:) Say man! (VOICE 2:) Hey baby! (VOICE 1:) I saw your wife the other day! (VOICE 2:) Yeah? (VOICE 1:) Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee! (VOICE 2:) Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby! (VOICE 1:) Yeah, all right! CHORUS 4 TIMES AND FADE. [As recorded by Jimmy Soul, SPQR 3305, 1963.] |
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16 Sep 02 - 01:36 PM (#785250) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: DonD I was sure I had an old Bellafonte LP with this on it but a search on hands and knees through a thick satack uncivered four LP's by Harry but none with this song. My recollection starts:
"If you want to be happy and lead a king's life, and ended:
"So from a logical point of view, Could it have been the Mighty Sparrow? But Country or Calypso, the message of male insecurity rings pretty clear! |
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10 May 04 - 10:47 PM (#1182711) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Brett (Maryland) were can i find the mp3 of this song and tabs. |
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10 May 04 - 11:27 PM (#1182721) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=19686 |
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11 May 04 - 11:48 AM (#1182942) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: LindsayInWales How about "Never Wed An Old Man" (He's got no faloorum...etc!) Lucky for me mine is quite a lot younger than me, heh heh!! |
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20 Jun 06 - 08:24 AM (#1764524) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,guest i found the whole song!! http://forums.networkchaos.net/thread.php?id=12109 [Dead link as of May 2017--A Mudelf.] |
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20 Jun 06 - 03:02 PM (#1764882) Subject: Lyr Add: ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL From: Jim Dixon Copied from http://forums.networkchaos.net/thread.php?id=12109: ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL CHORUS: Always marry an ugly girl; that's the only kind. She'll never ever leave you, and if she does, you won't mind. My uncle married an ugly girl. She drank from a special cup. She had a great big upper lip, but her lower lip covered it up. CHORUS My cousin married an ugly girl. He thought he had it made, But every night when she undressed, the neighbors they pulled their shades. CHORUS My brother married an ugly girl. The family got uptight. They gave them a formal wedding. They painted the shotgun white. CHORUS When you make love to an ugly girl, she'll never let you quit, Because she thinks that it's the last she's ever gonna get. CHORUS |
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29 Jul 06 - 10:00 PM (#1796571) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST ive heard one more verse: it went something like... My sister married an ugly girl the family was suprised my sister married an ugly girl it turns out it was a pretty guy |
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25 May 07 - 11:48 PM (#2061149) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST That verse really goes... My sister married an ugly girl the family was surprised but at the wedding we found out it was an ugly guy |
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29 Aug 07 - 10:40 PM (#2136559) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Mark I just ran across a video of this on YouTube. Search by the title. |
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30 Aug 07 - 01:00 AM (#2136610) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: deadfrett ONE THING YOU CAN'T HIDE .. IS WHEN YOUR UGLY INSIDE |
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05 Oct 07 - 08:22 PM (#2164802) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Lee Actually that verse is: My sister married an ugly girl, The family was suprised; It turned out on that wedding day, That girl was an ugly guy. |
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05 Oct 07 - 08:53 PM (#2164817) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Neil D Kid Creole and the Coconuts did a hot cover of that other song. The one you weren't asking about. The calypso one. |
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06 Oct 07 - 01:24 AM (#2164908) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,leeneia How about Sammy Fong's song to Mei Li in "Flower Drum Song"? Oh my grandpa was a big game hunter. He met grandma swinging on a tree. If you wanna have attractive children, baby, don't marry me! |
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06 Oct 07 - 08:59 PM (#2165543) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: john f weldon I don't see anyone posting this link yet, so... IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY, performed by Jimmy Soul (on YouTube) here it is... |
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25 May 11 - 11:07 PM (#3160637) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Mary I have the cd with always marry an ugly girl on it. Its by Finn MacCool cd is called She's Beautiful. Saw him perform it in Tamworth. What a hoot. |
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26 May 11 - 08:48 PM (#3161116) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Joe_F The eminent logician Willard Van Orman Quine wrote an essay "From a Logical Point of View", included in a book of that title. It alluded to the calypso version of this song, a recording of which was played at his memorial service. |
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27 May 11 - 06:45 AM (#3161194) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Eliza What about Harry Belafonte's (I think) calypso:- "I don't know why nobody don't like me, Or is it de fact dat I'm ugly? I leave ma whole house an' go, My children don't want me no mo', Bad talk inside de house dey bring, And when I talk dey start to sing, "Mama look, a Booboo!" dey shout, Dere mudder tell dem "Shut up your mout! Dat is yo' Daddy!" "Oh no! My Daddy can't be ugly so!" "Shut your mout! Go away!" I loved this song from the sixties, my friends and I sang it all the time, complete with (supposed) West Indian accent. |
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27 May 11 - 06:37 PM (#3161514) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: MorwenEdhelwen1 Why would anyone marry someone they didn't find attractive? Eliza, "Mama Look A Boo Boo" was composed by Lord Melody (Fitzroy Alexander) and played on his reputation for being ugly. |
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27 May 11 - 06:41 PM (#3161516) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Eliza Thanks, Morwen, I didn't know who composed it. Harry Belafonte's version used to make us laugh a lot all those years ago. |
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27 May 11 - 06:48 PM (#3161519) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: MorwenEdhelwen1 Yes, actually Belafonte's version omits two verses. The original song ends with the narrator's neighbour crying out "Oh Lord, look a boo-boo dey!" and the children being sent away to the countryside for a bit :), which makes me think the father was being harassed and there was something more than teasing going on. Anyway, I think some of these "ugly girl' songs are tongue-in-cheek- who would marry someone they found ugly, just to get someone who'd be grateful to even get married? |
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27 May 11 - 06:52 PM (#3161521) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: MorwenEdhelwen1 And you're welcome. He also wrote the popular version of "Shame and Scandal/Scandal In the family", the one with all the half-sisters and "your daddy ain't your daddy, but your daddy don't know!" which he called "Wau, Wau" and set in Puerto Rico. |
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28 May 11 - 08:54 AM (#3161712) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Eliza Oh I remember that one Morwen. "Woe is me! Shame and scandal in de family!" I reckon one always finds one's spouse attractive, love makes it so. |
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28 May 11 - 09:12 AM (#3161715) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Eliza Have just listened on Youtube to Lord Melody's version of Mama Looka Booboo, and it's excellent, much funnier than Harry Belafonte, especially with the audience's reactions. But I can't make out all the words, especially the last part. Does anyone (Morwen perhaps?) have all the lyrics? I can only find the shorter version as sung by Belafonte. |
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01 Jun 11 - 11:32 AM (#3163750) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: Jim Dixon If you want to discuss MAMA LOOK A BOO BOO, I suggest you do so in the thread devoted to it: Lyr Req: Mama Look a Boo Boo (Harry Belafonte). |
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29 Sep 13 - 04:25 PM (#3562584) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,Ran Now, SHE, is an ugly girl and She holds on when she gets a kiss Cuz she's afraid if she quits It'll be the last one she ever gets! |
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21 May 17 - 09:44 PM (#3856433) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl From: GUEST,guest the Tobasco Donkeys have a version of ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL on their album "Sawin' on the Strings": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRSeRSkwkj4 |