BS: More Uxbridge Definitions To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=144502
67 messages

BS: More Uxbridge Definitions

21 Apr 12 - 07:12 AM (#3341217)
Subject: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Balderdash: School sports day granddads race

Sublime: Under tree

Capercailie: Energetic folk dance


21 Apr 12 - 08:01 AM (#3341234)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Fervent: Animal hole

Hideyhole: Aperture in skin

Futile: Ceramics shortage


21 Apr 12 - 09:30 AM (#3341263)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Will Fly

Blunderbuss: Omnibus taking the wrong route


21 Apr 12 - 09:59 AM (#3341280)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Pete Jennings

When I worked for a certain global IT company, its European HQ was in Uxbridge. A long running joke was that Uxbridge is an anagram of big durex and we all know what you find in big durexes...happy days.


21 Apr 12 - 04:37 PM (#3341421)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: KHNic

Solicitor - a female Barrister without briefs

and we all know Countryside.


22 Apr 12 - 08:10 AM (#3341603)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Wolfhound person

concrete - a scam from a large island in the Med.


22 Apr 12 - 11:16 AM (#3341685)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Coalesce: fuel shortage

Collage: Art school

Delegate: Entrance to wholefood shop


23 Apr 12 - 03:23 AM (#3341999)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: alanabit

Sex - what one's coal is delivered in.


23 Apr 12 - 03:29 AM (#3342000)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Will Fly

wheelbarrow = flat, circular burial mound


23 Apr 12 - 05:31 AM (#3342022)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Pompous = Australian cat.

Doggerel = Very bad weather in the sea area.

Incomplete = Pub is now built.

Caucasian = Irish of Indian extraction.


23 Apr 12 - 06:21 AM (#3342030)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Mumbling: Mother's jewellery

Thinking: Underweight monarch

Sinecure: Exorcist


23 Apr 12 - 07:41 AM (#3342042)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Incandescent = Going down in a flimsy lift.

Feline = below which my services are free.

Bovine = Climbing plant with sweaty perfume.


23 Apr 12 - 03:20 PM (#3342249)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: frogprince

Shouldn't it be: "sex=what one's ashes are hauled in" ?


23 Apr 12 - 05:12 PM (#3342282)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Wolfhound person

foundation - possible illegal immigrant

technical - to remove non-ferrous metal

wooden - comfortable space for attracting potential partner

garbage - also dressage - different to chronological age, as evidenced by clothing worn

Paws


24 Apr 12 - 07:33 AM (#3342479)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Encounter = place to sell chickens.

Animal = Illness caused by hearing 'Tomorrow' yet again.

Example = slimmer than before.


24 Apr 12 - 10:10 AM (#3342534)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Doug Chadwick

Flatulent = your apartment, used by a friend

Romantic = oarsman with a twitch

Google = sticky white seabird


24 Apr 12 - 10:28 AM (#3342539)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop

Venezuela - Gondola with harpoon gun mounted.

Political Asylum - House of Commons

Spar Lash - Sailors' knot named after the sond of a shantyman hitting the water


24 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM (#3342590)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Charisma: Cleaner with children

Petulant: Insect/flower hybrid

Lavatory: Conservative in pyroclastic flow


24 Apr 12 - 02:16 PM (#3342670)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Withdrew = In Ms Barrymore's presence.

Withstood = In Mr Terkel's presence.

Wither = In The Wife's presence.


25 Apr 12 - 04:59 AM (#3342940)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Pigments: Small people living in Africa

Figment: Piece of fruit

Presence of mind: Trying to recall what she wanted for her birthday

Bearing in mind: Thinking of having a ball!


25 Apr 12 - 06:24 AM (#3342958)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Doug Chadwick

Extradition = used to be popular amongst folk singers

Copulate = "You took your time, Constable"

Copper nitrate = a policeman's shift pay


25 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM (#3343078)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

oxymoron: big, beefy fellow of limited intelligence


25 Apr 12 - 11:04 AM (#3343090)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

aiding and abetting: helping a bookie with your patronage


25 Apr 12 - 11:16 AM (#3343096)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST,leeneia

Thanks, all, for the chuckles.


25 Apr 12 - 11:35 AM (#3343102)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

understaffing: (military) situation in which a force comprised of yeomanry and peasant conscripts possesses inadequate ordnance for close-fighting


25 Apr 12 - 11:41 AM (#3343105)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

occident: 1) error or mishap involving an upper-class Englishman; 2)error or mishap involving an ox; e.g., a collision of ox-carts


25 Apr 12 - 11:56 AM (#3343116)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

counter-sue: female shop clerk, cashier or barmaid


26 Apr 12 - 01:30 AM (#3343377)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

dudgeon: subterranean prison or retreat, usu. for married men who have botched home renovations, prepared inadequate Valentine's Day festivities, forgotten anniversaries, etc.


26 Apr 12 - 03:08 AM (#3343393)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: jonm

creche: a coming-together of two motor-cars in Kensington

deforestation: Indian tree surgeon

cul-de-sac: castration


26 Apr 12 - 06:14 AM (#3343433)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Counter-irritant = as above but not necessarily female.

Conspire = Not a real church

Contort = a a poor imitation of a rich cake.


26 Apr 12 - 10:10 AM (#3343519)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Sycophant: Animal with pachydermatitis

Barrow: Quarrel in pub

Dissent: Undelivered


26 Apr 12 - 10:40 AM (#3343537)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Comunard = It's difficult living with lots of other people.

Statement = The government's actual intention.

Investment = Buying the Vicar good quality robes.


26 Apr 12 - 11:00 AM (#3343543)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

Wouldn't "dissent" mean just the opposite of "undelivered"? As in, "Did you send this?" "Dissent."


26 Apr 12 - 01:49 PM (#3343624)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Doug Chadwick

Iron oxide = method for removing creases from leather

Taliban = make counting illegal

Early doors = entrance to the House of Lords


08 May 12 - 10:34 AM (#3348213)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Travesties: Collection of frocks for men

Parade: Help for father

Moraine: Weather outlook


09 May 12 - 10:02 AM (#3348649)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Ebbie

Dissent: Returned

Army: isyou, one stage in English as a Second Language


09 May 12 - 11:55 PM (#3348982)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

punctuation: unpleasant encounter or involvement with an aggressive and insolent young man


10 May 12 - 09:27 AM (#3349117)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Spinnaker: Ball twirling device

Tectonic: Sherlock's favourite tipple

Copulate: Tardy police


21 Jun 12 - 10:45 AM (#3366216)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Shampoo: Imitation faeces

Shamrock: Artificial stone

Champagne: Malingerer's affectation


26 Jun 12 - 05:38 AM (#3368104)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

Lactose: Digital deficit on feet


30 Jun 12 - 09:23 PM (#3370131)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: The Walrus

Diameter: A Welsh device for measuring electrical current


03 Jul 12 - 08:06 AM (#3371213)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Crackdown: The first appearance of pubic hair.


03 Jul 12 - 08:37 AM (#3371220)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Pseud = pretend leather.

Obstacle = (nursing) thermometer, stethoscope etc.)
         = (child birth) stirrups, speculum etc.)

Presumptuous = before it was made posh.

Palisade = royal flunky.

Contort = pretend to be wronged

Consume = criminal's philosopher.


03 Jul 12 - 08:54 AM (#3371227)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: meself

manhandle: fleshy protuberance of male body, used to manipulate, manoeuvre, direct and control the male person


03 Jul 12 - 12:43 PM (#3371339)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop

Hypocrisy - A system of government favoured by bankers,Tories and tax dodgers


03 Jul 12 - 01:18 PM (#3371350)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Express = News of the World

Lupine = tree used as toilet

Expertise = Very good pole dancer


03 Jul 12 - 01:35 PM (#3371361)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Ebbie

"manhandle: fleshy protuberance of male body, used to manipulate, manoeuvre, direct and control the male person" hahahah That is just too funny.


03 Jul 12 - 02:34 PM (#3371393)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: johncharles

boron : unaccompanied ballad singer


03 Jul 12 - 03:52 PM (#3371455)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Ebbie

Btw, I've been meaning to ask: Given the UK's incomprehensible oddities of pronunciation, how you pronounce 'Uxbridge'? "Oobit'? lol


03 Jul 12 - 05:29 PM (#3371512)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST,Ebor_Fiddler

One pronounces "Uxbridge" as "Uxbridge" of course.


03 Jul 12 - 06:36 PM (#3371553)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Ebbie

But, of course. :)


04 Jul 12 - 05:18 AM (#3371751)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Uxbridge: Ucks (as in ducks) Bridge (as in thing ducks often go under)

Nigel
(pronunciations simplified!)


04 Jul 12 - 05:30 AM (#3371756)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Michael

Surely its pronounced 'Axbridge'.

Mike


04 Jul 12 - 07:34 AM (#3371798)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Happy

.......& then there's Dunstable, where the weather's likely to be unstable!!


04 Jul 12 - 08:04 AM (#3371815)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: JohnDun

No,   that's not right...   it's been raining constantly for a week now.

Chester......    Natural covering of the torso.



15 - 15


04 Jul 12 - 08:06 AM (#3371817)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Michael:
Surely its pronounced 'Axbridge'.
Doesn't that get confused with Axbridge in Somerset?
Or is Axbridge pronounced Uxbridge to compensate?


04 Jul 12 - 08:09 AM (#3371821)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Dunstable: Brown outhouse
Oxford: Crossing place for cattle
Cowbridge: Another crossing place for cattle


27 Apr 15 - 07:40 PM (#3704693)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: frogprince

moussaka: Japanese beverage fermented from milk


27 Apr 15 - 08:48 PM (#3704710)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST,Sol

Everton = Tennis Player takes to court
Newcastle = Bomb Katie Hopkins
Arsenal = Derriere & the rest
Ipswich = New ball & socket joint at the top of the leg
Aberdeen = Naked Clergyman


28 Apr 15 - 03:43 AM (#3704780)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST

Stephen Fry's unbroadcast definition gets my vote:-

Countryside - Killing Piers Morgan


28 Apr 15 - 05:46 AM (#3704802)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Red

LOL - but I thought I heard it in QI XL.

Folk Club - 1) a riot with sticks. 2) Morris set
Banjo - ban all banjo players called Joe. For a start!
masterfull - heavy meal
Chew Magna - heavy meal
Little Eaton - light meal
Thame Oxon - harmless bullshit
Leeds - where others only follow
Stratford - if Ford ever made guitars, they would sound like this.
Maidenhead - were one gets lost.
Crediton - 900% APR (I aint joking)
Cockermouth - can't think of one for this which is a bit of a blow.
Penistone - nice to see you, to see you nice!
Folkstone - that sound you get with a finger in your ear.
Dover - pigeon fancier.


28 Apr 15 - 11:25 AM (#3704872)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Cardiff - Road rage
Swanea - High note in Tchaikovsky ballet
Newport - Should be laid down for a decade
Cwmbran - miscoloured genital discharge


28 Apr 15 - 11:30 AM (#3704875)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Sorry, that should have been 'Swansea'


29 Apr 15 - 03:33 AM (#3705087)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Mr Red

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch - cunning linguist


29 Apr 15 - 11:41 AM (#3705201)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Roger the Skiffler

Euro: what a cox tells the eight


30 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM (#3705459)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: GUEST,Sol

more: -

Silicosis: Female relation with breast implant
Diabetic: Welsh compulsive gambler
Tuberculosis: Fear of London underground
Gonnorhea: Morning roll call at STD camp
Obesity: Where most medal holders live
Hypothermia: winter clothes for river mammals
Rheumatism : Doctrine that everybody should live in a bedsit.
Typhus: Argument at Golf Clubhouse door
Impetigo: Miner's job description


30 Apr 15 - 11:07 AM (#3705482)
Subject: RE: BS: More Uxbridge Definitions
From: Nigel Parsons

Diarrhoea: Welsman with woad nether regions / Overdrawn Welshman
Diode: Welshman no longer in debt
Diagnostic; non chapel-goer