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BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)

Stilly River Sage 28 Nov 05 - 01:21 PM
gnu 28 Nov 05 - 01:27 PM
MMario 28 Nov 05 - 01:29 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Nov 05 - 01:32 PM
Catherine Jayne 28 Nov 05 - 01:39 PM
wysiwyg 28 Nov 05 - 01:44 PM
gnu 28 Nov 05 - 01:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Nov 05 - 05:22 PM
Liz the Squeak 28 Nov 05 - 05:23 PM
GUEST,Candy 28 Nov 05 - 05:47 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 05 - 07:17 PM
open mike 28 Nov 05 - 07:51 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Nov 05 - 09:29 PM
open mike 28 Nov 05 - 11:27 PM
MMario 29 Nov 05 - 08:35 AM
el_punkoid_nouveau 29 Nov 05 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 29 Nov 05 - 09:02 AM
Essex Girl 29 Nov 05 - 09:13 AM
MMario 29 Nov 05 - 09:21 AM
artbrooks 29 Nov 05 - 09:29 AM
Stilly River Sage 29 Nov 05 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 29 Nov 05 - 12:24 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Nov 05 - 02:48 PM
Morticia 29 Nov 05 - 03:15 PM
MMario 29 Nov 05 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 05 - 03:47 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 05 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 05 - 03:56 PM
el_punkoid_nouveau 29 Nov 05 - 03:58 PM
SINSULL 29 Nov 05 - 04:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 29 Nov 05 - 05:36 PM
Geoff the Duck 29 Nov 05 - 06:32 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Nov 05 - 11:44 PM
My guru always said 30 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 05 - 09:02 AM
MMario 30 Nov 05 - 09:03 AM
MMario 30 Nov 05 - 09:09 AM
jacqui.c 30 Nov 05 - 09:11 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Nov 05 - 11:33 AM
Liz the Squeak 30 Nov 05 - 12:50 PM
MMario 30 Nov 05 - 12:59 PM
SINSULL 30 Nov 05 - 03:09 PM
Stilly River Sage 30 Nov 05 - 05:54 PM
artbrooks 30 Nov 05 - 06:12 PM
SINSULL 30 Nov 05 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 05 - 10:49 PM
Lonesome EJ 01 Dec 05 - 12:00 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Dec 05 - 12:41 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Dec 05 - 12:56 AM
Liz the Squeak 01 Dec 05 - 04:21 AM
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Subject: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:21 PM

It's that time of year again. . .

Sage was out in the yard this weekend, smelling the smoke from grass fires in the county as they're fanned by high winds and remembering the time MMario's aurouch barbecue got a little out of control outside the South Door* (the Oz entrance) of the Tavern and burned a swath all the way down to the beach. Nearly scorched the squid on his way up for a visit, he did. Calamari on the hoof it would have been.

Getting out a broom, she pushes twigs, sand, grass, and an opportunistic pack rat's nest out of the front door. Finding a shovel and bucket she clears out the ashes from the last fire and dumps it into the compost pile out back. Rubber gloves and a heavy-duty sponge are then used to attack the bar and the stove top behind it.

Finally, she fills a large pot with apple cider and sets it on a low flame with a generous handful of mulling spices floating on top.


The tavern's open! Come on in!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:27 PM

My, my, my... that smells delightful. Please, keep, an ale whilst the spices perform their magic.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:29 PM

That time of year already? (Only 27 shoppping days until Christmas! 0r Hannakuh for that matter!)

Hmmmmmmmmm - Italian tradition says seven kinds of seafood for Xmas Eve; but that might upset the squid, I'd hate to serve a relative of his. This year's menu may take some careful planning - I may even ask the freds to deliver something from other-space...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:32 PM

What kind of ale is in stock around here? Is it in the fridge or in a cupboard (warm)?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:39 PM

Oooo any mulled wine at the bar?? I'll have one!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:44 PM

Thank God! A Tavern-- just what was needed! (I thought some of you ladies were going to slash one another's throats there for a bit!)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 01:48 PM

Why, I am quite sure there would be at least some Turkey Turd Beer left. I'll look outside near the garbage bin... not likely the sanitation department would have accepted it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 05:22 PM

Don't trip over my dogs out there on the back porch, and look out for the spotted one--she likes to jump and lick your face.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 05:23 PM

Got a couple of bars of chocolate here... anyone fancy a fondue?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: GUEST,Candy
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 05:47 PM

I'd love a babycham boys.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 07:17 PM

I'd like a Polygamy Porter, por favor. And my smallsword came today.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: open mike
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 07:51 PM

oh oh armed and dangerous.
please check you weapons at the door..
no sharp words, either please,
and as the pen is mightier than
the sword, please leave them
in the cloak room, too.

then we can proceed to enjoy
each other's company, and with
oral or aural tradition
can commence to share stories
songs and poems of by gone
days and the present..and
future?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 09:29 PM

Is there anyone over in the Mudcat Recovery Ward these days who'd like to wheel or stroll in through that hall closet? I'm not talking about Nurse Ratched!

Maybe Katlaughing has been hanging out in there a trifle too long after her surgery?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: open mike
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 11:27 PM

well if kat comes i hope she brings peaches!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:35 AM

I dug the fondue pot out of the cupboard Liz, hope you don't mind that it is "sixties" avacado green - really doesn't go withh the rest of the decor - but it works a treat!

Do you prefer fruit, or sponge cake for dipping with chocolate fondue - or my favorite, dip more chocolate!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:52 AM

The Punkoid noted the open door, and the warm, comforting smell of beer and food gently wafting its way out of it. Carefully avoiding an extremely upset bunch of Pack Rats looking for a new home, he sidled over to the door, and peered in.

Mmmmm - chocolate (carefully impersonating Homer) - and lots of beer too! Hey, there's celery in that chocolate! Wow! Now, can I get near enough the fire this year?

Quietly, to avoid too much attention, the Punkoid snuck into the bar. He crept over to the fire, and warmed himself for a few minutes. Then, with little respect for the gentle discussion of chocolate in the background, he yelled...

Hey, Bartender - how does a guy get a beer round here!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 09:02 AM

Geez, you could bring a bazooka in and it'd be safe. Things like that simply don't work for what they were intended for in here -- a bazooka might blow bubbles or squirt water, but it certainly wouldn't work like it was intended to. The very idea!

I'm going to use the sword for roasting weenies and toasting marshmallows for s'mores (with dark chocolate); that way you can relive your childhood camping experiences (chocolate covered clothes, sticky hands, upset tummies, fear of the one-armed lumberjack who slaughtered a whole family up on Spook Mountain and who still roams these woods...). So anyway, if someone would be kind enough to bring me another Polygamy Porter, I'll get this fire started.

(You'd think that they'd let me use the fireplace, but noooooooooo, they're all drinking and singing over there, so I'll just start the ol' campfire right here. These drapes will make a neat-o background to the flames, too.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Essex Girl
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 09:13 AM

I've dusted off the quart pot (you are supposed to drink mulled wine out of a quart pot aren't you?) and bought a bag of marshmallows for the fondue. Some amaretto biscuits would go down well.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 09:21 AM

el punkoid - you've been in here before; you KNOW the bartender is whoever is closest to the tap, and at the moemnt that's *YOU*! So get rapaire his Polygamy Porter will you? I'd just like a pint of Ol' Peculier with a chaser of drambuie.

Hey Rapaire - sure, bazookas don't work in here the way they normally would - but on the other hand seemingly innocent objects can be deadly! Remember the Christmas tree a couple years ago? Or what about that bowl of Guacomole that tried to eat Cleigh?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: artbrooks
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 09:29 AM

Isn't Polygamy Porter 3.2% Utah beer? Tastes good, though...and they do a COOL t-shirt! Time machine workin'? Give me a Ballard Bitter, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:36 AM

Time to set up a grill out back for the salmon. But I'd better lock the dogs up in the pickup camper shell first. No telling what they'll do once these cats and ducks and the squid start turning up. They've already chased the packrats under the back porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 12:24 PM

No, it's real beer, not that 3.2 peewater. And I like the slogans:

"Bring some home for the wives" and "When one is not enough".

There's also Provo Girl.

And...believe it or don't...there's a distillery opening in Salt Lake City! Yes!

Stand And Deliver...Talisker, please! Thank you.










Dang, I didn't think those drapes were flammable. Shucks, I guess it'll be a vertical weenie roast.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 02:48 PM

You'd better get a strainer and fish all of that charred cloth out of the jello pit. Fast thinking on the part of that duck to knock the rod down to topple into the pit.

I hear some scraping sounds outside--sounds like someone is dragging a tree this direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:15 PM

well, I found this tree, just at the back of Trafalgar Square......didn't think anyone would miss it.

Erm.....is it me, or have the ceilings got lower in here?

Bugger......someone give me a large Aberlour, then I'll think about taking it back.....course, we'll have to detach those cats first.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:37 PM

don't cut the tree - we'll just raise the roof! (a nice feature of a virtual Tavern - it responds to figures of speech) - all together now - a rousing verse of "Good King Wenceslaus" should give us a bit more space under the cieling.

dum de dum de dum de dum - ready?

Good King Wenceslaus looked out...

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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:47 PM

'pon his feets uneven,
Whilst the snoo lay round about
Cold and wet and heavin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:49 PM

Deck us all with Boston Charlie
Walla Walla Wash and Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezing on the trolley
Lullabye, lillabye, Louisville Lou!

Don't we know archaic barrel....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:56 PM

Gives the jello that smokey taste....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:58 PM

The Punkoid finished pouring beers for rapaire and MMario, and handed a bottle of Aberlour to Morti.

Hey guys - I don't know whose card it's on this year, but there's only one thing for Morti to put in that glass of Aberlour... the rest of the bottle! Hellfire - I'm glad it ain't my plastic!

Picking up a pint of his beloved Fighting Cock (that's Bourbon, just for a change), the Punkoid resumed his place by the fire.

Good King Wenceslas got p****d
On the feast of Stephen.
Says we Sir, two lights you've missed
Into this bag be breathing.
Brightly shone the crystals green
Due to excess wassail
Christmas is a groovy scene -
God Bless Barbara Castle!

With apologies to Private Eye, The Abominable Radio Gnome, circa 67!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 04:34 PM

A window on the north wall opens slowly. Through it comes a large tarp, a bottle of Jack Daniel's and a rather rotund tortoise shell cat. "Move it, Alice!" It's cold out here. And in pops SINSULL "If the asbstos blanket doesn't keep him under control, I'll lock him in the Ladies with Alice Pisspot."

"Pinot Grigio chilled for me. I brought this to share later." she says, putting the bourbon on the table in the back booth. El Punkoid sighs and fills her glass. "She's here to screw up my fun again."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 05:36 PM

Who ordered the 'Wenceslaus Pizza'?


Deep pan, crisp and even....


with chocolate.


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 06:32 PM

[BACKTRACKS]

It's dark here......
Can't recall which tunnel I came down to reach this point, they all look the same from here.....
"Oh" something smells good! A hint of spice, perhaps nutmeg and cinnamon, maybe cloves....... I'll try to follow my beak, then.

Ah, I can hear something, soounds like people talking...... can't quite make it out...... something about quack rats?
Getting closer now.
Was that someone asking for a fondle?

It's getting warmer though....

Sounds of singing in the distance...


What's this long cold hard thing underfoot. Feels like a bozooka... didn't think you could still get them. Wonder if it still works? Whoosh.......
Well! I didn't expect balloons and flowers.......

Can't be far to go now....
I'm sure I can feel carpet underfoot....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:44 PM

Coats with torn linings and loose buttons gradually appear in front of Geoff as he trips over a low pile of galoshes. The cupboard between the Tavern and the Recovery Ward looms in front of him, and he sees light coming from under the door to the left. . .

"Galoshes and bazookas. What will they think of next?" he mutters to himself as he rises from his knees and staggers into the room, musical instrument in one hand, whiskey glass in the other. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: My guru always said
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM

Flexing claws, the Stray Tabby Cat climbs gratefully down the tree, winds her way over to SRS, nose in the air and greets the Tortoiseshell Cat who got there before her. 'Salmon? Did someone mention salmon?'


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:02 AM

Well, if I can't roast weenies, whatever shall I do? Waitwaitwait...it'll come to you...waitwaitwaitdrinkdrinkdrinkwaitwaitwaitdrinkdrinkdrink...

AHA! I have it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:03 AM

be afraid. be very afraid.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:09 AM

*goes to close the wardrobe door from which Geoff recently emerged*


Hmmmmmmm...I've never noticed this before - look, there's a little plaque on this - reading:


C. S. Lewis Memorable Wardrobe


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:11 AM

I knew I'd find SINS in here - just go where the booze is !

Any chance of a large Chardonnay please? I've spent most of the week being Nurse Ratched to Kendall since his cataract operation and I need to relax in a nice comfy chair by a good fire.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 11:33 AM

Turkish delight, anyone?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 12:50 PM

Bazookas, galoshes and ducks, oh my! Bazookas, Galoshes and Ducks, OH MY!!!


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 12:59 PM

drat - I'm having trouble figuring out a menu - the freds offerred to bring in some tribbles - so I was thinking they would be a nearly self-replenishing buffet; but for some reason the freds can't get the blasted things through customs.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 03:09 PM

Leave me alone, you silly cow! Why did you follow me in here anyway? Hey, Punkoid! The lady with the Chardonney wants to see a Yule fire. Help her out, would you?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 05:54 PM

Don't serve tribbles unless you plan to have rolls of dental floss easily accessible at the bar. The freds were pulling your leg, they're tough and really stringy--you might as well cook those packrats under the porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: artbrooks
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 06:12 PM

Besides, they are hard to catch and they breed like mad.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 10:28 PM

aLICE CHECKS OUT THE SALMON AND THEN THE STRAY tOM. sHE STRUTS HER STUFF BEFORE HIS NOSE, CURLS HER TAIL ALLURINGLY AND ASKS "dO YOU PLAY THE BANJO?"

dAMN cAPSLOCK!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 10:49 PM

The menu? Roasted archeopteryx, perhaps? With a nice roasted sweet pepper dressing? And some lovely sauteed Amorphophallus titanum for the veggies and vegans in the crowd?

Recites:

If all be true that I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends, good wine, or being dry.
Or lest we should be by and by,
Or any other reason why.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 12:00 AM

In headlights, the snow flakes come at you like like swirling stars set free from winter gray galaxies, betraying any sense of speed into a perceived suspension of space and time. To shed the trance effect you cast down your tired eyes. Swirling across the snow-packed highway, ground blizzards seem to gasp up in frozen breath out of snowpacked pavement. Mighty drifts of snow are heaped up here in Northern Nebraska, drifts that lie in the lee of any object with strength to stand against the wind. Crystalline streams rush down the busted corn rows to eddy and twist into the road ahead. A figure is backlit briefly against light shed through an open door, hunching in to sanctuary, the door swings quickly shut.
Miles slide slowly by, then up ahead the tavern, strung lights of red and green and gold. The tires shift unsteadily at the turn, then bite into the frosty crust as the car stops in the parking lot. Buttons fastened, a deep breath drawn and held, and I am in the storm for the brief dash, then inside, closing the door against the blast. I turn and before I can place gloves in pockets, a warm mug of mulled wine is in my hands, and a friendly voice says Merry Christmas, Friend.
A Very Merry Christmas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 12:41 AM

Wow! You must have come in by the northern door! I heard about that weather!

SRS hands Lonesome EJ a tray with a saucer holding a toothpick with a singed brown and black chunk of what looks like a nugget of jerky. "Try this--you might want to dip it to cut the salt of the soy sauce marinade. MMario went to all the tribble to cook it." The tray with the plate of intergalactic delicacies also holds a bowl of duck sauce.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 12:56 AM

BTW: Someone asked about the tab. We have Bert's credit card, and it still works. Keep on ordering whatever concoctions or confections you can dream up!

Bugger! I thought I'd cancelled that card - Bert


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 04:21 AM

Has anyone actually seen Bert since 2003? He must still be around and making payments, because the card hasn't been eaten by the machine.... but it would be nice if we bought him a drink to say thanks.

LTS


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