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A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat

Helen 30 Apr 16 - 02:13 PM
Helen 29 Apr 16 - 11:36 PM
Helen 21 Aug 10 - 08:53 PM
Alice 26 Sep 08 - 10:55 PM
Helen 26 Sep 08 - 07:41 PM
Helen 26 Sep 08 - 07:40 PM
katlaughing 19 Mar 05 - 06:54 PM
Helen 19 Mar 05 - 06:19 PM
Amos 19 Mar 05 - 03:19 PM
Lonesome EJ 19 Mar 05 - 02:16 PM
Helen 31 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM
s&r 31 Aug 04 - 08:31 AM
Helen 31 Aug 04 - 07:54 AM
Helen 10 Aug 01 - 08:22 PM
GUEST 10 Aug 01 - 07:22 PM
Jack the Sailor 10 Aug 01 - 01:11 AM
Amos 10 Aug 01 - 12:54 AM
catspaw49 10 Aug 01 - 12:39 AM
Amos 09 Aug 01 - 11:50 PM
Peter T. 25 May 99 - 09:32 AM
Banjer 24 May 99 - 06:24 PM
sharon 24 May 99 - 03:10 PM
Helen 24 May 99 - 08:05 AM
Helen 24 May 99 - 07:57 AM
Helen 24 May 99 - 07:49 AM
catspaw49 23 May 99 - 04:34 PM
Alice 23 May 99 - 04:24 PM
Lonesome EJ 23 May 99 - 03:56 PM
Banjer 23 May 99 - 01:54 PM
Dave Swan 23 May 99 - 01:39 PM
Banjer 23 May 99 - 09:00 AM
Helen 23 May 99 - 08:32 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 23 May 99 - 03:35 AM
LEJ 22 May 99 - 07:27 PM
Helen 23 Jan 99 - 04:53 PM
Helen 23 Jan 99 - 04:39 PM
Alice 23 Jan 99 - 11:50 AM
Frank in NJ 23 Jan 99 - 12:13 AM
Frank in NJ 23 Jan 99 - 12:04 AM
Frank in NJ 22 Jan 99 - 11:57 PM
Alice 22 Jan 99 - 11:07 PM
Helen 22 Jan 99 - 11:07 PM
Alice 22 Jan 99 - 09:53 PM
catspaw49 22 Jan 99 - 09:39 PM
Helen 22 Jan 99 - 05:46 PM
rick fielding 19 Jan 99 - 10:02 AM
Alice 18 Jan 99 - 06:45 PM
Barry Finn 18 Jan 99 - 03:48 PM
Art Thieme 18 Jan 99 - 11:51 AM
catspaw49 18 Jan 99 - 10:53 AM
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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 02:13 PM

Oops! It's been so long that I mixed up the two challenges into one challenge.

The challenge in this thread is to write a story which somehow incorporates a flea, an orange and a bicycle seat. There is no specification on the number of words.

However, here is the other challenge: BS: Mudcat challenge: 100 word story exactly

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 29 Apr 16 - 11:36 PM

Amos reminded me of this thread, and someone was reeled in and had to ask about it, so here it is, refreshed again to see if I can entice some more 100 word stories - 100 words, no more and no less, please.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 21 Aug 10 - 08:53 PM

Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen - PM
Date: 26 Sep 08 - 07:40 PM

From: Helen
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 06:19

"Ah, to hell with it! The best remedy for your own misery is to inflict it on someone else. The pecking order. Kicking the cat. Kicking the Mudcat - there's an idea.!

"I'll make them make it up to me for wasting my time reading their manic threads by challenging them to write short stories. And I'll make it so insidious that they'll still be caught up in the same thread until...I know, how about 2005! Yeah! Or even 2010! And to make it worse, when they think they can finally get away from this thread I'll give them another challenge to write a story of 100 words, no more and no less.

"Nah, it'll never work. They're not that gullible, are they? Are they?"

"Can't help it. The 100 word challenge always reminds me of this thread."


On noticing the 100 word challenge thread again on the list, I looked back at the last posting I did on this thread and - spoo-o-oky! - it is 2010! So it's obvious I have to refresh this thread.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Alice
Date: 26 Sep 08 - 10:55 PM

Hey, there, Helen!
This old thread has LYRICS in it!!
I hope it stays up in the music section.
It's hard to believe so many years have gone by.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 26 Sep 08 - 07:41 PM

Sorry, Joe-Clones. This is such an old thread that it doesn't have a BS prefix. I'd appreciate it if someone could modify it for me. Ta, muchly!

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 26 Sep 08 - 07:40 PM

From: Helen
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 06:19

"Ah, to hell with it! The best remedy for your own misery is to inflict it on someone else. The pecking order. Kicking the cat. Kicking the Mudcat - there's an idea.!

"I'll make them make it up to me for wasting my time reading their manic threads by challenging them to write short stories. And I'll make it so insidious that they'll still be caught up in the same thread until...I know, how about 2005! Yeah! Or even 2010!** And to make it worse, when they think they can finally get away from this thread I'll give them another challenge to write a story of 100 words, no more and no less.

"Nah, it'll never work. They're not that gullible, are they? Are they?"


**Or 2008 at least!

Can't help it. The 100 word challenge always reminds me of this thread.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 06:54 PM

Well done, LeeJ and what a hoot to read this one again!


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 06:19 PM

So, it's the 15th of January, 1999 and I have nothing better to do than sit in front of my computer staring at the screen. I used to have a comfortable predictable life but I chucked it all away for the scary unpredictable life of an itinerant teacher.

What was I thinking? Can I really cope with the financial downs-and-downs (there are no financial ups) of casual work after working in a cushy government job all my adult life?

As I stare at the screen marvelling at the creative genius of a bunch of people I've never met from all around the world I absent-mindedly catch and pop the flea that jumps from the cat in my lap onto my arm. I reach for another piece of orange from the plate, and click on another thread and start giggling again.

My mind wanders back to my financial predicament again and I start wondering whether I should start riding the bicycle I have out back. It would save money on petrol.

It's almost unrideable, though. It never was any good. That woman who sold it to me for an exorbitant price when I was a student sure saw me coming. The brakes suck and so do the gears. The only good thing about it is the bicycle seat I bought to replace the uncomfortable one that was on it. Maybe I could buy a new bicycle and salvage that seat. How much does a new bike cost?

Nah, the problem is I'm not fit enough to ride a bike. I'm a lounge lizard. I spend my days reading Mudcat guff when I should be out in the real world walking around in the summer sunshine and getting healthy.

Ah, to hell with it! The best remedy for your own misery is to inflict it on someone else. The pecking order. Kicking the cat. Kicking the Mudcat - there's an idea.!

I'll make them make it up to me for wasting my time reading their manic threads by challenging them to write short stories. And I'll make it so insidious that they'll still be caught up in the same thread until...I know, how about 2005! Yeah! Or even 2010! And to make it worse, when they think they can finally get away from this thread I'll give them another challenge to write a story of 100 words, no more and no less.

Nah, it'll never work. They're not that gullible, are they? Are they?

;->

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 03:19 PM

Wow, man!! That is SO cool!!

A


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 02:16 PM

One time I goed crazy,a dream come to me
thought I's walkin with a world-worn flea
in my dream ther's nobody else around
cept an orange in a tree, hangin down
climbed up th trunk highs I could go
but the fruit was outta reach, and I told th flea so
said th flea to me "don't worry yer head
I'll climb up on the branch instead
alls I really need from you
is some means of travel, a rock or a shoe
or any old thing that you might find
see I'll sit on it and you can send me flyin"
so down goes I and I walks around
lookin for flea-fliers on th ground
then what should I kick with my stumblin feet
some body dropped their bicycle seat!
well I picked it up and on jumps th flea
and I flung him up in that citrus tree
I said "come on, boy, drop that orange down"
but the flea just laughed sayin "Ain't you a clown!"
He said "I got better things to do
than sit in th dirt eatin lunch with you"
now I don't mind sayin,it made me swear
to watch that flea puttin on airs
and as I start to stomp and steam
thats where i wake up from this crazy dream
now a very wise man once said
all them dreams is just in yer head
but my advice is of a different kind
you give me half of yer orange
I'll give you half of mine

I wanted to take the opportunity to clean up my Talkin World-worn Flea Blues. In re-reading this, I also realized that Dave Swan's first post later gave birth to the idea of Blake Madison and the subsequent Mudcat Fiction stories starring Blake.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM

Clever, Stu, but scary!! :-)

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: s&r
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 08:31 AM

An orange you peel, the zest on your tongue
the flesh that you suck and then swallow
The envy I feel - would I were that one
Perhaps it will be me tomorrow

If I were a flea I could bite on your skin
And travel your body all over
Wandering free without or within
I could be your carnivorous lover

The seat of my schemes that I long for so much
Is your bicycle seat "Yes!" he cries
To spend all my dreams pressed close to your crutch
And trapped in the heat of your thighs

Sorry

Stu


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 07:54 AM

Literary challenge reincarnated: read the guidelines and have a go at it.

This should be in BS, but it was created pre-BS, BBS? i.e. Before BS?

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:22 PM

I'm impressed, Amos - speechless in fact.

As for 'Spaw, I'm just about to open the
100 word story thread and see if he has contributed yet.

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=37563&messages=43

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 07:22 PM


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 01:11 AM

Haiku

Flea lands on bicycle seat
Feet sticking,he gets excited
Oops just orange juice

Fleas, Adam had'em
Eve preferred bicycle seat
Eat orange instead


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 12:54 AM

Go screw, paddy-whack!! Fact is, it took aboiut fifteen minutes and I first learned of this thread from a reference to it by Miz Helen herself, today, made in the "100 word story" thread. And I think your real complaint is you don't want to be reminded of your younger days, before you were a Mudcat Elder and were just a plain old boob!! And if it's quality of compositions you're after critiquing, I'll spare you the obvious rejoinders....

Love ya, man!

A


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 12:39 AM

Uh, yeah........That's real good Amos! I mean really good............................'Course it took you over two years to write it so I suppose it should be...................Come to think of it though, with over two years in the making and all..........well, it kinda' sucks......................Naw, it's good..............not real timely, but good.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 11:50 PM

When first, fair Miss, thou greeted me,
My blood more timid than a flea,
I could not think nor sleep, nor eat,
But rested on my cycle's seat
Reliving every tone of thine,
And contemplating bliss divine!

Then, fairest miss, thou nearer drew!
And soon my blood more firéd grew
'Til  what was once of little worth
Swells like an orange in its girth!
And every ounce of blood in me,
Demands you set my daemon free.

Now, having started such a change,
Your manner, lady, grows most strange;
No longer do you blithely toy,
But cold are turnéd and most coy!
Until my swelling lower brain,
Defeated, is a flea again!!


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 May 99 - 09:32 AM

"She took a sawbuck from a purse made out of the skin of one of those endangered species of which there are just enough left to field a softball team if you don't mind a couple of raccoons filling in as pinch hitters."
--from The Big Recall (Ralph Nader Parody in the National Lampoon a long time ago.) More, Dave, more!
Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Banjer
Date: 24 May 99 - 06:24 PM

If you stick the DUCT TAPE up the nose and it catches all the NOSE HAIR the sudden removal of both the tape and the hair will ceratinly prompt some WEIRD CHORDS from the owner of the nose....


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: sharon
Date: 24 May 99 - 03:10 PM

A flea, a flea, tis a flea upon me Hit him says mama, hit him. I grabbed an orange and squshy-squash The juice did really git him. But sad I was for drownin' a flee He was such a little tike. Forlorn, i hopped on my bicycle seat, and rode away on my bike.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 24 May 99 - 08:05 AM

Still looking at the thread titles for inspiration. I think

Nose Hair & Duct Tape are two definite inclusions, and maybe Weird chords

Someone tell me it's past my bedtime, please. I can feel a story or six coming on.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 24 May 99 - 07:57 AM

Just a thought - we could combine this creative challenge with the concept of the thread which related 3 thread names to each other. They would have to be next to each other or near each other to qualify.

For example: Cat hunting - uk folkies - Scotland trip plans

or

Your First Time. Be Honest. - ride the white pony? Rich bitch? - The 'geriatric ' girl scout

I admit, I cheated a bit here - I left about 3 threads out but ... you've got to admit it has interesting possibilities.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 24 May 99 - 07:49 AM

Welcome Dave,

What you didn't know was that this is really the initiation test - secret handshake and all that. YOu've proven yourself to be as weird and laterally creative as the rest of us, so you're in!

catspaw, I was kind of hoping you or someone else would come up with the next challenge. I like the rules you suggested in this thread, so we just have to think of something completely over the top to start us all off. I have to admit that anhydrous ammonia and catheters don't really do it for me - so what else do you suggest?

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 99 - 04:34 PM

First, truly great Dave...you'll fit right in!!!

Second, Helen my dear, it is time for another of your wacky challenges...believe it or not, this thread popped into my head at the hospital (obviously delirious) and I was going to dig it out and ask for your next asap.....so GO FOR IT.......We now have all types of responses from stories to bad jokes to songs to limericks.....so pick out your three best and let's do it again.

catspaw


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Alice
Date: 23 May 99 - 04:24 PM

Dave, just like Nick Danger, you have stolen my heart. My Samoyed, Leo, is lounging on the couch as I type this, waiting for me to get offline and pay some serious attention to the Milkbone situation. Luckily, the cold winter weather here deters the flea population. Brilliant. You're a keeper.

alice in montana


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 May 99 - 03:56 PM

That post cut into this thread like a shiny shiv in a dark alley. It caught my attention like a leghold trap in a hot tub.In fact, it knocked me over like a 7-11 in the bad part of town.

Don't get me started.

LEJ


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Banjer
Date: 23 May 99 - 01:54 PM

You, Mr. Swan are one sick, sick puppy...And by gum I think you'll fit in real well with the rest of us misfits and neerdowells......Whadda ya think gang, we oughta keep him?


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Dave Swan
Date: 23 May 99 - 01:39 PM

I don't usually take missing persons cases, but the landlord was looking for do-re-mi of the folding kind and I had no job in sight.

When the phone rang I dove on it like a prom date. She had a voice made to cause trouble. " I saw your ad in the Yellow Pages, it's cute. I like the part about musician and private investigator. Other guys were busy, but I figured you could use the work."

Cute. Real musicians have day jobs sister. But I swallowed hard and took her address. Life not's easy when you play the shawm.

I pulled on the trenchcoat and walked out into the humid, clingy night. Not a breath of air moved. It was one of those days the whole world smelled like a bicycle seat half way through the Tour de France.

I reached her middle of the block address in a middle of the road part of town and knocked on the door. She told me to come in. That here's trouble voice again. I pushed open the door and caught sight of the body the animators wished they had drawn when they created Jessica Rabbit. She was in a sun dress and it was dark out.

She was having a late snack. Coffee black, a bagel. Peeling an orange with her nail file.

" Mr. Reed ? Come in, I'm just spending some time with the boys."

She sat behind a desk covered in tiny chariots, musical instruments, costumes and scenery.

She handed me her card. Rita Mesa. Mesa's Performing Fleas. Motion Pictures, Television, Special Occasions.

Her freckels were moving.

"Don't you just love them ? Cutest little bastards in the world, and stong. Every night after rehearsal I let them sit on me this way. I kiss them all before they go to bed."

The itch which needed scratching when I laid eyes on Miss Mesa's contours wasn't the same itch anymore.

" Let me put them away. Ozzie, come here pal."

A tired looking Samoyed padded into the room and stood next to Rita's chair. " O.K. guys, off you go." The fleas leapt for the dog and hung in the air for a second before landing. I swear to you, it was a formation jump in the shape of champagne glass. "Here's your Benadryl, Oz. Remember, no scratching."

The dog sighed and left.

I asked about the case, I was shaky as a lawyer's morals and needed some reality.

" Oh, Stavros is missing, just tonight. I kissed him good night, counted the boys, and he came up missing. I love him to death, Mr. Reed. I know he hasn't been gone long, but I'd do anything to have him back."

She turned her smile on me for the first time. Promise written on perfect lips, teeth like the keys of a new Steinway. Then her smile widened, revealing the most minute imperfection, and I saw my per diem fall away. No mileage, no phone expenses, no fees for photos or copies. I had the case solved.

" Miss Mesa, that's a plain bagel isn't it ? Not poppy seed. I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Banjer
Date: 23 May 99 - 09:00 AM

Oooooh, Helen, you're vicious....But Gawd, we love it. I have yet to do something with three objects I recognize, the flea, orange and bicycle seat, and here you go throwing out things I can hardly even pronounce.

Let's see....

Once was a flea thought he was neat,
A'sittin' on his bicycle seat
But what he thought was a seat for real,
Weren't nuthin' but an orange peel,
How really sad it would be
To be as dumb as that little flea!

I disclaim any knowledge of the above!


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 23 May 99 - 08:32 AM

Seed, I never thought of that one, but glad you did!

Hey catspaw, is it time for the anhydrous ammonia, reef sharks, and catheters literary challenge yet or does the word catheter bring tears to your eyes now? If so, I'm truly sorry to have brought this to your attention.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 23 May 99 - 03:35 AM

Leej--this one ran while my monitor was in the hospital and I couldn't find the modem cable for my laptop, so I missed it first time around. Thanks for reviving it. And Helen, I kept waiting for the punch line on your story--I thought it was going to be about the bicycle hooker who pedaled (peddled) her ass all over town. --seed


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: LEJ
Date: 22 May 99 - 07:27 PM

This thread was the one that first hooked me on the Mudcat. It is an exercise in pure insanity and creativity. At the time I didn't know any of you. Now I find it even funnier. I posted the satire on Talkin World War 3 Blues . It was my first post, and I called myself "Bob".

LEJ


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 23 Jan 99 - 04:53 PM

Here's a bit of Kulcha (Oz term for "culture") for youse all.

In case you need to know what the hell he was prattling on about - the poet is saying that even though his lady friend is denying him the right to have sex with her, the flea has managed what the poet couldn't, by biting her & sucking her blood and then biting him, so that a third entity has both his & her blood in its body (the flea is used as a metaphor for a child they may have produced by having sex).

Cute, ha? Well, actually very, very contrived, but I like it. You have to put it in the context of courtly love - they were into platonic adulterous relationships where they liked to wind each other up into a sexual frenzy but then not do anything physical to resolve it.

Kind of like cyber-sex when you come to think about it - or is that "think about coming ..." ? Never mind. We don't want to get back into that condom discussion, do we? > or more likely

Helen

THE FLEA

JOHN DONNE John Donne (1571-1631)

Mark but this flea, and mark in this, How little that which thou deny'st me is; It sucked me first, and now sucks thee, And in this flea, our two bloods mingled be; Thou knowest that this cannot be said A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead. Yet this enjoys before it woo, And pampered, swells with one blood made of two, And this, alas, is more than we would do.

Oh stay, three lives in one flea spare, Where we almost, yea, more than married are. This flea is you and I, and this Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is; Though parents grudge, and you, we are met And cloistered in these living walls of jet. Though use make you apt to kill me, Let not to that self murder added be, And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.

Cruel and sudden, hast thou since Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence? Wherein could this flea guilty be Except in that drop which it sucked from thee? Yet thou triumph'st, and sayest that thou Find'st not thyself, nor me, the weaker now. 'Tis true, then learn how false fears be; Just so much honor, when thou yieldst to me, Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 23 Jan 99 - 04:39 PM

Yay, verily Frank, and it doth pleaseth me greatly, forsooth.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Alice
Date: 23 Jan 99 - 11:50 AM

O Frank, thy pen doth please me.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Frank in NJ
Date: 23 Jan 99 - 12:13 AM

Thygift, thy tables, within my brain

becon me tho racked in pain

post perched on nest of Spanish leather

sun so hot, seems orange weather

cause journey on, thru hill and hollick

thru glen and grove, my pedal rollick

oh freedom from these heavy boots

dost draw me on, t'ward evenings roost

perchance to dream, with family flea

lo end, wot day o' agony.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Frank in NJ
Date: 23 Jan 99 - 12:04 AM

Thygift, thy tables, within my brain

becon me tho racked in pain

post perched on nest of Spanish leather

sun so hot, seems orange weather

cause journey on, thru hill and hollick

thru glen and grove, my pedal rollick

oh freedom from these heavy boots

dost draw me on, t'ward evenings roost

perchance to dream, with family flea

lo end, wot day o' agony.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Frank in NJ
Date: 22 Jan 99 - 11:57 PM

Thygift, thy tables, within my brain

becon me tho racked in pain

post perched on nest of Spanish leather

sun so hot, seems orange weather

cause journey on, thru hill and hollick

thru glen and grove, my pedal rollick

oh freedom from these heavy boots

dost draw me on, t'ward evenings roost

perchance to dream, with family flea

lo end, wot day o' agony.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Alice
Date: 22 Jan 99 - 11:07 PM

Dear Joe, alias Steve Martin, could you fix that ,BR> for me in the second verse? thanks. alice


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 22 Jan 99 - 11:07 PM

Yes, Alice, I agree. My story sort of wrote itself, too. It's interesteing to observe (metaphorically speaking, not literally) the human brain in action.

catspaw49 - "anhydrous ammonia"!! oh, no - this is too much! But I bet some of us could still create something out of those 3 things.

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Alice
Date: 22 Jan 99 - 09:53 PM

Roll On Columbia
(by alice, sorry Woody)

My bicylce made by Columbia Elite,
For my comfort had a soft bicycle seat,
I sped down the street peeling oranges so neat,
The members of Greenpeace would say,

Roll on, Columbia roll on,
Roll on, Columbia roll on,
Your power is p.c. and doesn't take brawn,
So roll on, Columbia, roll on.

I only ate oranges and apples and pears
I protested killings of bison and bears
The loggers were jobless, but I said "who cares",BR> And all of the vegans would say,

Roll on, Columbia roll on,
Roll on, Columbia roll on,
Your power is veggie, let's graze on the lawn,
So roll on, Columbia, roll on.

The food co-op taught me to stop eating cheese,
To stop using soap or things made out of trees,
But, I found there were many diseases from fleas,
So to all those fanatics I say,

Roll on, Columbia roll on,
Roll on, Columbia roll on,
The power to think for myself isn't gone,
Now roll on, Columbia, roll on.

---------

Gee, I don't know, Helen, I'm having alot of fun... they seem to just write themselves....

alice in montana


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Jan 99 - 09:39 PM

Sorry Helen, I gave this one my best shot. I've been thinking about topics for the next; like anhydrous ammonia, reef sharks, and catheters. Or maybe 3 easier ones, but since this is basically a song site, we all have to write to the same tune...and all 3 things cannot appear in the same line (too easy). Be thinkin' about it if this one dies.catspaw


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Helen
Date: 22 Jan 99 - 05:46 PM

What, have we all run out of steam on this thread? I hope not - it was a lot of fun and then Mudcat went down for a short time, or something and maybe the thread got lost or forgotten at the end of the list.

Surely there are some more creative Mudcateer contributions - or do you want me or someone else to come up with a new creative challenge?? (Is this a threat or a promise? ;-> )

Helen


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: rick fielding
Date: 19 Jan 99 - 10:02 AM

Mont'alice, how right you are about good ol' Norm, but before we go any further..let's talk about shop safety. Before you design any more web pages, start any snow blowers, or pick out any 6/8 tunes...remember, wear your safety glasses!

By the way, here in Toronto, we've had five days of snow, and the city's in total chaos. The mayor has called in the Canadian Army!! We have become a laughing stock to the rest of the country. Guess I'd better get out there and shovel some more.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Alice
Date: 18 Jan 99 - 06:45 PM

OK, Art, if you start a new challenge, you have to start a new thread... so we can find it in a forum search when someone in the future wants to discuss the subject.


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Barry Finn
Date: 18 Jan 99 - 03:48 PM

Art please, I'm dyslexic as well as an agnostic with insomnia. I stayed awake all last night contemplating the meaning of Dog. Barry


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: Art Thieme
Date: 18 Jan 99 - 11:51 AM

how about a c....m, d....l dam and IUD (If you're dyslexic it's DUI (driving under the influence.)


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Subject: RE: A challenge:a flea,an orange,a bicycle seat
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 99 - 10:53 AM

Well ain't this great??? We've now not only heard from Helen with her endearing story, but now we've learned about banjo pickers and snow blowers as well.

Helen made a comment at the top of her post about doing this now and again using different subjects and I'd like to see it happen. These threads are always so varied. From world worn fleas to snow blowers running off into the woods....Dental dams shaped like bicycle seats to sonnets. Oh we are a weird bunch !!!!!

catspaw


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