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BS: Delicate question for older US males

Joybell 22 May 05 - 10:30 PM
Joybell 22 May 05 - 10:32 PM
freda underhill 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM
Gypsy 22 May 05 - 10:41 PM
Clinton Hammond 22 May 05 - 10:44 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 10:46 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 10:48 PM
GUEST 22 May 05 - 10:49 PM
mack/misophist 22 May 05 - 10:53 PM
SINSULL 22 May 05 - 11:05 PM
freda underhill 22 May 05 - 11:10 PM
GUEST 22 May 05 - 11:11 PM
jacqui.c 22 May 05 - 11:18 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 May 05 - 11:19 PM
wysiwyg 22 May 05 - 11:21 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 11:26 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 05 - 12:28 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 12:31 AM
Amos 23 May 05 - 12:55 AM
JohnInKansas 23 May 05 - 01:01 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 01:04 AM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 05 - 01:34 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 01:36 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 01:42 AM
freda underhill 23 May 05 - 01:44 AM
Jeanie 23 May 05 - 02:26 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 02:33 AM
Boab 23 May 05 - 02:46 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 02:52 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 07:47 AM
Dave the Gnome 23 May 05 - 07:59 AM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 23 May 05 - 08:17 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 08:22 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 08:24 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 09:06 AM
Jeri 23 May 05 - 09:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 May 05 - 09:42 AM
Dave Bryant 23 May 05 - 10:09 AM
bobad 23 May 05 - 10:13 AM
wysiwyg 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM
kendall 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM
Kim C 23 May 05 - 11:52 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 12:23 PM
SINSULL 23 May 05 - 01:31 PM
catspaw49 23 May 05 - 01:53 PM
McGrath of Harlow 23 May 05 - 02:00 PM
Bill D 23 May 05 - 02:01 PM
Liz the Squeak 23 May 05 - 02:03 PM
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Subject: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:30 PM

Truluv here, with a comment on toilet design australia vs usa:
a man in his mid-60s, i found on a recent tour of the usa, that when i sat on the toilet, my balls tended to hang in the water. i find this both distasteful and unhygienic. this does not occur on australian toilets, whereon, because of the height of the seat and the depth and shape of the bowl, the water level is kept a respectful distance from even the droopiest scrotum. has anyone else encountered this problem? have the authorities been notified? has there been a strong letter written to the New York Times? when will action be taken?   H


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:32 PM

Does Billy Connolly know about this?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM

.. don't go to Austria, Joybell... you may find it's even shallower there!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM

It is a problem. The water from the cistern that fills the bowl is very cold. And DEEP.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Gypsy
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:41 PM

just be careful flushing! can'tgetthethoughtoutofmeheadsnickersnickersnicker.........


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:44 PM

Oh good sweet merciful crap on a cracker, will you people get LIVES!!!

If Mudcat and it's 'fans' tolerate THIS kind of inane garbage it has NO RIGHT to criticize ANYTHING anyone EVER posts here

I hope I NEVER get so old and dull that all I have left to talk about are my bodily functions... especially NOT in PUBLIC...


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:46 PM

Too cold for ya, huh, Clinton?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:48 PM

Sorry. I'm an older Canadian male. I'll be gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:49 PM

But you will Clinton...you will get old and you will talk about Bodily functions in public.
It is the one sure thing in this Life....ageing..and the stuff that goes along with it.....
..and as you have said yourself may times this is a blip in cyber Space so not so much general public arena so why take it so seriously...or could this be your irrational fear perhaps??


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: mack/misophist
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:53 PM

Water level in the us varies, and is sometimes adjustable in tank toilets. The original idea seems to have been making them easier to clean (less exposed porcelain). Older toilets tend to be 'deeper'.

Clinton: What's wrong with asking about plumbing design?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:05 PM

Most American males stand to pee. That will solve the problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:10 PM

you're half right there, Sinsull!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:11 PM

Just dont come to China where most of the loo's are of the squat type, bloody difficult for most westerners, you end up hanging off the pipes to stay upright(ish).

You have heard of 1000 year old eggs, well some of the loos here have seen that too since their last cleaning, a clothes peg is a usefull item.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:18 PM

Even males have to sit sometimes. I'd hate to see the result if they didn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:19 PM

Ohmygosh! Blush!!!

Hildebrande, what can I say? We keep the commode water a little warmer in Texas? I hope you weren't too uncomfortable here!

;-D

SRS

The images going through my mind's eye now. . . whatever posessed you to identify yourself when you started this thread, H!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:21 PM

Self-regulating problem. Cold (water) should cause sufficient shrinkage to lift the aforementioned unmentionables right back out of the water.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:26 PM

"Self-regulating problem. Cold (water) should cause sufficient shrinkage to lift the aforementioned unmentionables right back out of the water."

That was clever, funny and thoughtful. Good one.

OK, now I figure it'll be fewer than ten posts before men start getting slagged. Just a thought.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:28 AM

"Clever, funny, and thoughtful" shouldn't be a natural segue into "slagging" men.

Should it come to that, I'm sure that there is a natural tit-for-tat payback mechanism around the corner.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:31 AM

You are absolutely right that it shouldn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:55 AM

I dunno, H -- I haven't had that problem myself, so it strikes me you may have forgotten to lower the seat before sitting down.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:01 AM

There is tremendous variation in toilets in the US, but the problem cited most often happens when the individual flush valve is worn out or not properly adjusted.

After flushing, the valve that refills the tank for the next flush diverts a small stream of water into a pipe to refill the bowl itself. If the bowl stream is too large, or if the valve doesn't shut off completely, the bowl will be overfilled, resulting in the unsanitary condition described. The condition may also occur if the prior flush was incomplete, and left more in the bowl than intended, but that's usually obvious.

Older toilets installed in private homes generally were fairly "tall," so the problem didn't come up too often. In the "neo-modern" era of the 40s, many people installed "modern toilets" that were "low and sleek like a new Buick" and the problem was quite common. Some of these had the rim of the bowl as low as 10.5 or 11 inches above the floor. You could conveniently rest your forehead on your knees while doing your duties, and handrails or a helpful very-good-friend might be required to get off of one - especially after a long reading session.

The advent of the "low-volume" toilet regulations a few years back resulted in installation of a great many toilets that didn't flush at all - or that required several cycles to clear the bowl. It is common to find various "tricks" used to increase the initial water charge with these, so the problem would be very common. Improved designs have eliminated the flushing problem in newer models, but a great many of the "early design" kind are still found in motels etc.

Standard designs in currently available "seats" come in 4 or 5 different standard heights, with the "comfort seat" being more and more popular. This style places the bowl rim about 16.5" above the floor, and the cited problem would be unlikely - especially with an effective low-volume flush model. Since the "high seat" is required in most places for the mandatory "handicap stall" builders often have put the same stools in all locations (quantity buying, and all that), so these may be found in many newer buildings, or those that have been extensively remodeled.

The best advice though, is that putting the seat down before you sit will get you an extra inch or two (of clearance, that is).

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:04 AM

"Some of these had the rim of the bowl as low as 10.5 or 11 inches above the floor. You could conveniently rest your forehead on your knees while doing your duties, and handrails or a helpful very-good-friend might be required to get off of one - especially after a long reading session."

LOL

Kinda like a chopped Harley.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:34 AM

Are they dragging bottom on those Harleys too, brucie?

(sorry, sorry, I know, I don't mean to start "slagging," but the imagery is just too funny. And the thought of that kind of road burn. . .oooooooooo)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:36 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:42 AM

Had a friend with a Bassett hound. The dog had steel balls. His name was Sparky.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:44 AM

German style..

toilets of the world


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Jeanie
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:26 AM

As well as being (to our eyes and other parts) back-to-front, the weirdest Germanic toilet I've come across also had a *revolving toilet seat*. The idea was that when you pulled the flush, a little spurt of disinfectant was sprayed onto the seat from the cistern and the seat revolved so that the whole seat was covered. Rather scary for anyone who stayed on the seat after flushing.

- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:33 AM

Answer for that is to have a sound system play "God Save the Queen" or the national anthem when one hits the lever or pulls the chain. T'would work for the patriots, anyway. (No, no, not the New England Pat--ah, what's the use.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Boab
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:46 AM

Brucie---how is the depth relevant? Explain yourself!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:52 AM

From an old joke. Two guys peeing off a bridge. One says to the other, "The water's cold." The other replies, "Deep, too."


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:47 AM

Subject: BS: Manly Bragging. More power. Car? Bike? T
From: gnu - PM
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 05:03 PM

What do you, the manly man, brag about ? Something that, as soon as you get it or build it, you invite your buddies over, just to show it off. That sup'ed up vintage muscle car ? That new ATV with the biggest most aggresive mud-boggin tires that throw mud in the faces of those you pass with ease ? That bass boat that will get you to the best fishin spots before daylight even when you leave the dock after dawn ?

Fer me, it's my Gerber. Man, she's seventeen and a half inches at the rim - no more squattin. Elongated bowl - no more cold d*** surprise. Three and a half gallons of super-swirlin per flush - no more double flushin. And the water surface is as big as a lake - no more wipin up the missin-pissin with toilet paper; you can hit this even when your more than half asleep. It's a manly toilet. C'mon over and try it. It's a beauty, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:59 AM

Serious(ish) question that I have pondered before. How come the toilets in the US ARE different to the ones in the UK and the bits of Europe I have seen?

The European (Euro-peeing???) model starts off with the water low in the bowl. The flush washes down the sides of the bowl and as it starts to fill the syphonic action makes sure the water level never gets above around 1/3 of the way up.

The American vesion starts with the water a good 1/2 way up the bowl or more. The flush seems to cause it to fill very high and then empty to nothing before filling to 1/2 way again.

To me the water rushing down the sides seems to do a better job than the bowl filling up and emptying - But then again I'm biased:-)

Any ideas?

These are the tings that really need discusing, Clinton. This is important - Not like folk music..;-)

Cheers

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:17 AM

Reminds me of a song:

Do yer balls hang low
can you tie them in a bow
can you sling em or yer shoulder
like a continental soldier
do you get a funny feeling
when you bounce them off the ceiling
Oh you'll never make a sailor
if yer balls hang low


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:22 AM

Cleansing action in residential toilets is all in the swirl, both in velocity and duration. I have never attempted to mearsure the velocity generated in my Gerber, but it IS impressive and lasts 8 seconds.

Regarding depth of the the water, such a discussion may actually be a little too delicate for some, but us engineers have been tasked with getting things right so we have to take everything into account when designing any system. Thereto, briefly,

Where,


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:24 AM

Shit (pun intended), I hit the tab to properly denote formulae designations... I shall use MS Word and paste-post later.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:54 AM

Nah, I'm still too groggy from sleeping too much. Let's just say that there's a volume of water in the tank and a volume of water in the bowl. The water has to remove a volume of liquids and solids, known as the shit load. The volume used for design is, of course, the maximum expected load, known as the shitload, which is based on the older male, who, as we all know, is full of shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:06 AM

A school in the US (Cornell?) published a book some years back called "The Bathroom." It was a study of US "appliances" and how to better them -- and yes, I remember that there was a second edition. There were some good ideas in it and I think that perhaps maybe some of them were possibly adopted.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Jeri
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:09 AM

Do your balls hang low?
In the toilet, do they go?
Do your pearlies get a swirly
When you flush just so?
Are they little tug-boaters
That push around the floaters?
Do your balls hang low?

I'd also like to mention I noticed we're responding to a post by 'Trulove' on Joybell's cookies. I don't think Joybell has a problem with her [censored by self because it's just unkind to use someone's screen name so] ...nuts, but you never know in this day and age.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:42 AM

Perhaps the problem isn't a matter of water level, or even the droopiness of H's nutsack. Perhaps H just doesn't have enough ass (arse) to keep his equipment sufficiently elevated. Most toilet seats are of roughly the same diameter, but the sizes of the asses which are placed upon them vary widely. A large steak-and-potatoes-size ass sits firmly upon the seat while a skinny little bean-sprouts-and-tofu ass misses the seat entirely. Obviously, if one's ass is insufficiently supported and, thusly, hanging down into the water, one's balls have no option but to hang there as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:09 AM

You want to try the asiatic style loos where you squat with one foot either side (there's often a sort of drawing of where to put your feet) of a shallow sort of basin in the floor.

When I was working in France with some other colleagues, we used to drink in a cafe which was frequented by squaddies and ladies who purveyed "horizontal refreshment". We only used it because in Ramboulet, like many non-tourist towns in France there was nothing else open after 10pm. The loo downstairs was unisex and had an asiatic pan and a "beware of low flying limbo dancers" type door. When one of us Brits headed for the loo, the "ladies" thought it great fun to dash there ahead and give us a full display, below the level of the door. They never seemed to give up, even though none of us ever showed embarassment - although even the most interesting female pudenda is rather wasted on one when you're dying for a pee !

What's the difference between a barrow boy and a dachshund ?
- the barrow boy bawls out his wares on the pavement . . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: bobad
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:13 AM

Very ass-tute observation BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM

If BWL's suggestion is correct, sit farther back and spread the knees wider to make a tripod of support, like children do when learning.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: kendall
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM

Sigh...What next?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Kim C
Date: 23 May 05 - 11:52 AM

I don't know why that should be a problem in the US, since almost everybody has those low-flow toilets now that don't have hardly ANY water in them. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:23 PM

In toilets that have deep water, all turds weighing more than five pounds must be lowered by rope to avoid splash.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:31 PM

Note to gnu: Is it time to put away the pain pills? DO NOT bend over the loo in an attempt to develop your formula unless their is an attendant present to pull you out.
SINS


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:53 PM

JOHN IN KANSAS:

Hi John..........Somehow it seems appropriate to be asking john questions of a John. Very reassuring. LOL.....Seriously though, as you seem to have expertise here, why the hell is there a date indelibly written or cast in the tank of every toilet? Some kind of expiration date? "Must have a dump delivered into bowl prior to thia date." Actually I know it must be the manu. date, but why? Are the warranties that tight on shitters? I assume it must be a government reg since I couldn't see anyone going to all that trouble otherwise.   What's the scoop, so to speak?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:00 PM

Nothing wrong with the old French "Pan Turca", if it's properly maintained (mind that's a big "if"); and it's ergonomically a better design for the human anatomy.
...................................
Advert just below this page at the moment:

"Never a Dirty Toilet Seat
World's First Touch Free hygienic self cleaning toilet seat."


Good grief. An American site evidently...   Bring back Lem Putt, "The Specialist", . His country clearly badly needs him!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Bill D
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:01 PM

there is a bell-shaped curve relating to human bodies. Appliances are probably designed to cater to, oh....95% of 'em. Thus, people who weigh 450+lbs, or are over 7' tall, or sag & droop excessively might well encounter awkward situations when they travel to places where design parameters differ from what they are used to.

I can say honestly I never heard of this problem from anyone in the US before.

Maybe we ought to create a small database from places around the world with "height of seat above water level" as one entry. Then again, maybe not...


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:03 PM

In our local Sunday Market there is a portacabin of toilets with large notices saying 'Do NOT stand on the seats', with illustrations on the correct way to use the toilet. Having seen the pictures of the Asiatic 'Squat and Squit' variety I now understand why.

I've been lucky enough to have never had to use one of that particular breed, nor have I had to suspend my not so skinny botty over any bar, beam or bucket since I was 10 and at school camp.....

Just remember - pointy leaves bad, round leaves good.

LTS


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