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Really really short songs

Kitty 24 Apr 05 - 11:10 PM
Malcolm Douglas 24 Apr 05 - 11:26 PM
alanabit 25 Apr 05 - 03:37 AM
sapper82 25 Apr 05 - 04:01 AM
Dave Hanson 25 Apr 05 - 04:45 AM
Joe Offer 25 Apr 05 - 04:45 AM
GUEST, Hamish 25 Apr 05 - 05:20 AM
GUEST,Declan 25 Apr 05 - 05:23 AM
McGrath of Harlow 25 Apr 05 - 05:44 AM
GUEST,John Barden at work 25 Apr 05 - 05:47 AM
mindblaster 25 Apr 05 - 05:47 AM
Wrinkles 25 Apr 05 - 06:15 AM
treewind 25 Apr 05 - 06:28 AM
GUEST,Gadaffi 25 Apr 05 - 07:09 AM
GUEST,Matai 25 Apr 05 - 07:52 AM
A Wandering Minstrel 25 Apr 05 - 08:01 AM
Kitty 25 Apr 05 - 08:51 AM
Dave Masterson 25 Apr 05 - 10:25 AM
GUEST,Joe_F 25 Apr 05 - 10:51 AM
aussiebloke 25 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM
dick greenhaus 25 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM
The Unicorn Man 25 Apr 05 - 11:47 AM
Dave the Gnome 25 Apr 05 - 12:02 PM
*Laura* 25 Apr 05 - 12:50 PM
just john 25 Apr 05 - 01:17 PM
Tam the man 25 Apr 05 - 01:20 PM
SharonA 25 Apr 05 - 02:33 PM
GUEST 25 Apr 05 - 02:37 PM
NH Dave 25 Apr 05 - 02:42 PM
Malc R 25 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM
Severn 25 Apr 05 - 03:04 PM
frogprince 25 Apr 05 - 04:15 PM
Bill D 25 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM
Bill D 25 Apr 05 - 04:27 PM
Herga Kitty 25 Apr 05 - 04:30 PM
Kitty 25 Apr 05 - 04:40 PM
PoohBear 25 Apr 05 - 05:20 PM
kendall 25 Apr 05 - 05:29 PM
GUEST,Jim I 25 Apr 05 - 05:34 PM
Micca 25 Apr 05 - 05:37 PM
Scotus 25 Apr 05 - 10:12 PM
Cap't Bob 26 Apr 05 - 12:17 AM
Ernest 26 Apr 05 - 02:18 AM
Liz the Squeak 26 Apr 05 - 02:44 AM
Sandy Paton 26 Apr 05 - 02:46 AM
Mark Cohen 26 Apr 05 - 03:15 AM
matai 26 Apr 05 - 03:22 AM
Mark Cohen 26 Apr 05 - 03:26 AM
George Papavgeris 26 Apr 05 - 04:12 AM
GUEST,scouse 26 Apr 05 - 04:57 AM
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Subject: Really really short songs
From: Kitty
Date: 24 Apr 05 - 11:10 PM

I know I read something here about very short ballads or songs. Can't find it again even with the search.    I have a few, and am looking for more. For example:

Are you going to Scarboro Fair.....no

Unforgettable.....

Can you help with others?

Thanks bunches!!
k


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 24 Apr 05 - 11:26 PM

Short Songs/Parodies


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: alanabit
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 03:37 AM

Don't know about songs, but on the subject of short plays, I reckon my rewrite of Becket's "Waiting For Godot" is unlikely to be shortened...
Act one, Scene One: Enter Godot...


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: sapper82
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:01 AM

When my turn at a singroung I stand up and sing:-
"Come listen to me and I'll sing you a song,
Of the truths of Tony Blair."

Then sit down again.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:45 AM

Tom Paxton's ' The Ballad of Spiro Agnew '

I'll sing of Spiro Agnew and all the things he's done.

eric


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:45 AM

Bill D posted it here, but I think I knew it before Bill posted it, so it's fair for me to include it here:
    The Rivers of Nebraska

    We crossed the wide Platte,
    We forded the Platte,
    We swam the Platte,
    And followed the Platte.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST, Hamish
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:20 AM

In this multi-media age
Social scientists reckon
The average attention span
Is about fifteen seconds.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Declan
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:23 AM

There's always the Dead Man's Blues:

"I didn't wake up this mornin'".


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:44 AM

Nyaah nyaaah na-nyaaah nyaah


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,John Barden at work
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:47 AM

"And now, the end is near" - Thud!!


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: mindblaster
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:47 AM

"What Do You Want If You Don't Want Money" sang Adam Faith. I think it has the reputation of being the shortest number 1 single of all time!


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Wrinkles
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 06:15 AM

Also;
"I left my heart in...arrghhh" thump.

Not exactly in the same catagory, but Peter Cook's "Me Darlin' Flo" deserves an honourable mention ;-)

Me darlin Flo I love you so
especially in yer nightie
when the moonlight flits across yer tits,
ah, jesus christ almighty!


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: treewind
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 06:28 AM

Hangman, stay your [choke]...


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Gadaffi
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 07:09 AM

Stanley Accrington once sang:

Matty Groves, he went out, courting this high class bird,
They're at when Lord Barnard comes home unexpected,
'What the bloody hell's going on here?' he says and stabs Matty in the guts,
'What do you think of your lover boy, now?' he says. But she's cheeky, so he cuts her head off.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Matai
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 07:52 AM

Dear Heather,
Please walk by me again
with a drink in your hand
and your legs all white
from the Winter
by
Leonard Cohen


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 08:01 AM

Hows about..

Turkey Rhubarb, Turkey Rhubarb
Turkey Rhubarb I sell
I've come here from Turkey
to make you all well
Oh say that you know me
My name it is Dan
And Im the celebrated...
Turkey Rhubarb Man

and I've been known to sing "Rattlin' Roarin' Wullie" in under a minute


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Kitty
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 08:51 AM

wow, fun stuff, thanks


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Dave Masterson
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 10:25 AM

a) "The gallant Frigate Araldite, she stuck in Plymouth Sound".
b) "And did those feet, in ancient time, walk upon England's pastures green? ... No"


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 10:51 AM

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

O piss on thee, O Christmas tree.

--- Joe Fineman    joe_f@verizon.net

||: A cosmology is an autobiography of the universe. :||


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: aussiebloke
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM

Well is is lonesome, on the prairie, since my old horse - died.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM

'Twas Friday morn, when we set sail
And we sank to the bottom of the sea.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: The Unicorn Man
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:47 AM

I wish I was a rock
Sittin on a hill
Would'nt do nothing all day long
but just sit still
I would'nt eat and I would'nt sleep
I would'nt even wash
Just sit still for a thousand years
and rest myself by gosh.

Da da da da da da da, da da da.
etc to the tune of the song.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 12:02 PM

To me way-hay hi-ya!
We'll pay Paddy Doyle for his boots.

To me way-hay hi-ya!
We'll all shave under the chin.

To me way-hay hi-ya!
We'll all drink whisky and gin.

There is more (we'll all throw muck at the cook, we'll all stand cap'n a round etc.) but it was generaly accepted that the tasks performed to a 'bunt' shanty (Normaly furling the sails) could be completed in 3 verses.

Cheers

DtG


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: *Laura*
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 12:50 PM

"Some songs are very very long,
But this one isn't".


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: just john
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 01:17 PM

(I see somebody already covered the Smothers Brothers' take on "Hangman.")

A couple years ago, when people were trying to blame the Columbine shootings on Marylin Manson, I listened to the tracks in question and thought they obscured their pro-violence message with extraneous stuff. So, I came up with a 20-second song:

Let's get violent, let's get violent,
Hoo hah, hoo hah
Let's get violent, let's get violent,
Hoo hah, hoo hah
There! Now when anything anywhere goes bad, you can blame it on me!


You can stream the entire song here or download it here.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Tam the man
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 01:20 PM

Tom Paxton wrote a song well a word really is all about any politction who loses an election

it goes

da da dadadada( Tune on the geetar)

SHIT

Copywrite as well.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: SharonA
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:33 PM

My older brothers used to sing these to me as a wide-eyed, impressionable child:

Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin' down the bunny trail!
Hippity, hoppity, flop.

Oh, you better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why:
Santa Claus is dead.

(Perhaps this explains my years in therapy...)


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:37 PM

The end


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: NH Dave
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:42 PM

Ill submit one that the RNZAF folks used to sing about the British,

    I'll sing you a song
    That's not very long
    All Pomes are bastards!

    This was ammended in our honor with the last line,

    You Yanks can't play cricket!

    Dave


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Malc R
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM

a bluesy type number

"I woke up yesterday morning...." stop - start again

"I woke up this morning..." stop - start again

"If I wake up tomorrow morning .. that'll be three in a row"

Mal


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Severn
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 03:04 PM

As far as actual traditional ones, I always loved this one (to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman"):


Oh, MacTavish is dead and his brother don't know it
His brother is dead and MacTavish don't know it
They're both of them dead
And they're in the same bed
And there's neither one knows that the other is dead


It was Frank Warner I first heard sing it, if memory serves. I always thoughtit would be the perfect thing to tack onto the end of a long instrumental medley.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:15 PM

Heard live on television, long years ago, sung by Carl Sandburg:
   "Papa loved mamma; mamma loved men; mamma's in the graveyard;
   Papa's in the pen".
Using it as part of a longer song is a sacrilige, dammit!


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM

Michael, row the boat ashore,
For I fear I've lost my oar.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:27 PM

"You done stole my wiiiiiiiffeeee.....you hoss thief"


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:30 PM

The keeper would a shooting go
But on the way he dropped his bow.

It's true my love has listed to 45 degrees.

Did you ever see a wild goose sailing over the ocean? - no

Kitty


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Kitty
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:40 PM

These are just getting better and better

the other Kitty


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: PoohBear
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:20 PM

On the bosum of a young abigail
Was written the price of her tail.
And upon her behind, for the use of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille

Courtesy of The Corries.
PB


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: kendall
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:29 PM

My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank
It's contents she wanted to see
She lit up a match to assist her
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Jim I
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:34 PM

I you were the only girl in the world
And I was the only boy
Nothing...


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Micca
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:37 PM

" I'll sing you one oh"
Oh No you wont you know

"Were you ever on the Congo River?" No

" Somewhere the sun is shining
away up in the sky "
but its pi**ing down here

" Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.

Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
Until she dyed them Chocolate brown"


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Scotus
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 10:12 PM

At Auchtermuchty Festival about 9 years ago, during the last night final mass sing I started 'Oh dae you see yon high hill, a' covered wi' snaw'. John Watt seated in the front row shouted "NO"

Jack Beck


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 12:17 AM

Mason Williams:

Them Hors D'Oeuvres:

How about them Hors D'oeuvres,
ain't they sweet?
Little piece of cheese and little piece of meat!

Cap't Bob


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Ernest
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 02:18 AM

by Mark Gillespie, as far as I know:

Here`s a little song
it`s not too long
It`s almost finished
and now it`s gone


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 02:44 AM

Let every man so pitch his somg,
Then start again, he's got it wrong.....


Bluebells are blue bells, bluebells are blue.
Bluebells are blue because blue bells are blue.

second verse, same as the first, little bit louder, little bit worse

BLUEBELLS ARE BLUE BELLS, BLUEBELLS ARE BLUE.
BLUEBELLS ARE BLUE BECAUSE BLUE BELLS ARE BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEE!!
(blame Lady P for that one.....)

LTS


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 02:46 AM

Has anyone posted this 'un?

    My sweetheart's a mule in the mines;
    I drive her without any lines.
    On the bumper I sit,
    I chew and I spit
    All over my sweetheart's behind.

Or this one that I learned from John Greenway in Boulder, Colorado, 1959:

    Pa didn't raise no corn this year,
    Pa didn't raise no termaters.
    He had bad luck with the cabbage crop,
    But, oh, my God, them 'taters!

          Sixty cent pertaters!
          Right nigh six-bit pertaters!
          He had bad luck with the cabbage crop,
          But, oh, my God, them 'taters!

And Jeannie Robertson sang this one for me (Aberdeen, Scotland, 1958):

    Maggie, Maggie,
    Come and kiss your Sandy.
    Come awa' and spoon wi' me
    In beneath this bramble tree.
    Oh, Maggie, Maggie,
    Ye set my heart on fire.
    If it wasnae for my wife
    I'd mak' ye Mrs. McIntyre!

And, finally, from Mike Meyers, in England, 1957:

    Oh the black cat piddled in the white cat's eye,
    The white cat said "Cor Blimey!"
    The black cat said, "You silly sod,
    You shouldn't stand behind me!"

Enuff, already!


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:15 AM

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso,
One little kiss, and Felina, goodbye

Or a variant from o'er the ocean:

Out in the West Irish county of Mayo
I fell in love with a Mayonnaise girl


Alan Sherman had a bunch on his "My Son the Folksinger" album--longer than two lines, but still fun:

I gave my love a cherry, it had no stone
I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone
I gave my love a baby, and then you see
My love got very angry and she said to me
"I didn't mind the cherry, without the stone
I didn't mind the chicken, without the bone
But when you give a baby, there's just one thing
You oughta give at least an engagement ring!"

Jascha got a bottle of Geritol, Geritol, Geritol
Jascha got a bottle of Geritol
And he knocked a hole in the wall
That's all
No wall

Oh, I'm Melvin Rose of Texas
And my friends all call me Tex
When I lived in old New Mexico
They used to call me Mex
When I lived in old Kentucky
They called me Old Kentuck
I was born in old Shamokin
Which is why they call me Melvin Rose

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: matai
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:22 AM

Nobody has come up with this so far

day is done
gone the sun
--- -- ---
--- -- ---
--- -- ---
all is well
safely rest
god is nigh

Some kind of salute isn't it and can you fill in the missing words?


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:26 AM

It's words that have been put to the bugle call "Taps":

Day is done
Gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh

We learned it summer camp in Pennsylvania back in the 60s.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 04:12 AM

The good ship Agamemnon -
sank


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Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,scouse
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 04:57 AM

Then there's.... I went down to Sammy's Bar...It was closed!!
Tom Pierce,Tom Pierce,Lend I your grey Mare...No!!
Were have you been all day Henry my Son...Out!!

As Aye,   Phil


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