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50 worst songs ever

GUEST,Arne Langsetmo 21 Apr 04 - 09:41 PM
Shanghaiceltic 21 Apr 04 - 09:53 PM
Amos 21 Apr 04 - 10:22 PM
GUEST 21 Apr 04 - 10:29 PM
GUEST,Arne Langsetmo 21 Apr 04 - 10:36 PM
Chief Chaos 21 Apr 04 - 10:36 PM
Bobert 21 Apr 04 - 10:39 PM
GUEST,Arne Langsetmo 21 Apr 04 - 10:48 PM
Amos 21 Apr 04 - 11:05 PM
GUEST,Arne Langsetmo 21 Apr 04 - 11:30 PM
LadyJean 21 Apr 04 - 11:44 PM
Johnny in OKC 21 Apr 04 - 11:55 PM
akenaton 22 Apr 04 - 02:36 AM
GUEST,Arne Langsetmo 22 Apr 04 - 03:23 AM
GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser) 22 Apr 04 - 03:29 AM
GUEST,freda 22 Apr 04 - 03:36 AM
Roger the Skiffler 22 Apr 04 - 03:41 AM
Stewie 22 Apr 04 - 04:34 AM
Roberto 22 Apr 04 - 06:01 AM
HipflaskAndy 22 Apr 04 - 06:21 AM
freda underhill 22 Apr 04 - 06:54 AM
GUEST,noddy 22 Apr 04 - 08:23 AM
GUEST,Noddy 22 Apr 04 - 08:25 AM
GUEST,Sooz(at work) 22 Apr 04 - 08:35 AM
DMcG 22 Apr 04 - 09:06 AM
Stewie 22 Apr 04 - 09:48 AM
GUEST 22 Apr 04 - 10:08 AM
Peace 22 Apr 04 - 03:42 PM
Macha 22 Apr 04 - 04:03 PM
Benjamin 22 Apr 04 - 04:36 PM
TheBigPinkLad 22 Apr 04 - 05:07 PM
Amergin 22 Apr 04 - 05:22 PM
Callie 22 Apr 04 - 06:08 PM
GUEST,Arne Langsetmo 22 Apr 04 - 09:24 PM
Scoville 22 Apr 04 - 10:57 PM
Little Hawk 22 Apr 04 - 11:41 PM
GUEST,poopstain 23 Apr 04 - 12:20 AM
Amergin 23 Apr 04 - 12:58 AM
Benjamin 23 Apr 04 - 05:12 AM
Wombat at work 23 Apr 04 - 07:23 AM
42 23 Apr 04 - 07:31 AM
Mark Cohen 23 Apr 04 - 08:07 AM
GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser) 23 Apr 04 - 08:38 AM
GUEST,Larry K 23 Apr 04 - 09:29 AM
Willie-O 23 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM
GUEST 23 Apr 04 - 10:14 AM
radriano 23 Apr 04 - 11:09 AM
Brían 23 Apr 04 - 11:10 AM
Brían 23 Apr 04 - 11:13 AM
GUEST 23 Apr 04 - 11:34 AM
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Subject: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Arne Langsetmo
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 09:41 PM

Blender magazine has come our with their
50 worst songs of all times
. There's more on the "winners" here. You have to buy the magazine for the complete list; it's not online. Some of them may be close to "folk music".

Comments?

Anyone care to compile a "50 worst folks songs ever"?

Cheers,

                      -- Arne


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 09:53 PM

When Irish eyes are smiling
Danny Boy
The Unicorn
Puff the magic dragon
Country Roads
Bright Eyes (read the book, seen the film, and eat the cast!)
Me an Sue an a dog named Boo
I've got a brand new bicycle
D I V O R C E ( done that!)
Two little boys

Well thats a starter for ten....


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:22 PM

Rocky Mountain High
The Kingston Trio version of Tom Dooly
Michael Row the Boat Ashore


....makes thirteen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:29 PM

Having My Baby
Knock Three Times
MacArthur Park
The Monkees Theme Song

Hows that for stinking up the Juke Box in Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Arne Langsetmo
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:36 PM

GUEST: Were those nominated in the "folk song" category?

Cheers,

                      -- Arne


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:36 PM

Timothy
Bilbo Baggins
I am Woman (hear me snore!)
DOA


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:39 PM

"Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro was the worst song ever written or performed...

And as fir that stupid song about the "cake", and the rain??? Hmmmmm. ougtta rething deinstitutionalization...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Arne Langsetmo
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:48 PM

Oh, for a rousing chorus of "Oh, Danny Boy" in what passes for harminy wile in a drunken stoopour on Sanit PAddy's dayy..... <*burp*>

As a side note, I used to host the "Celtic Airs" Tuesday morning folk show on WWUH a while back, so I'm not a complete idiot when it comes to Celtic music. Imagine my mordant chuckles while listening to another radio station one Saint Paddy's day, when, after they'd been playing those wonderful standbys such as mentioned above, they thought they'd treat their listeners to some more "traditional" Irish music. On came some instrumentals with that reknown Celt Mark O'Connor (IIRC) amongst others, playing "Blackberry Blossom", and "St. Anne's Reel". . . .    ;-)

I think the "Unicorn Song" is one of the best songs ever, penned by the incomparable Uncle Shelby. Of course, it's perfectly fair to put it on the "worst ever" list as well; who says it can't be both?

Surprised that no one has mentioned the "Banana Boat Song". That's one of those songs that seem pretty silly on paper, but where the genius comes out is in seeing what a master can do with what little he's got. . . .

Cheers,

                               -- Arne


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 11:05 PM

If you guys are opening the list up to Pops stuff we'll be here all night!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Arne Langsetmo
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 11:30 PM

Hey, no one sets the rules. I was asking for people's opinions on folk music, but you're free to chime in on the Blender's list as well.

I think it might be more interesting to see which folk (or alleged "folk") tunes are real steamers, but it may also be interesting to see which tunes people think are really folk. ;-)

So maybe people could indicate which category the nominations are for? . . . Don't be shy, there will not be any exam, nor any grades.

Cheers,

                                 -- Arne


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: LadyJean
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 11:44 PM

Let us consider AM rock of the sixties, and such classics as; "Yummy Yummy Yummy I got love in my tummy", "Chick a Boom", "Hello I Love You", "We Gotta Get You A Woman", well that one's from the 70s, but it's still pretty horrible.
Donovan could write wonderful songs like "The Tinker and the Crab", then he'd turn up some piece of tripe like "Jennifer Juniper", that would get hours of airplay.
The Monkees were the world's first made for TV band. But "Last Train To Clarksville" and "Daydream Believer", are pretty good songs.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Johnny in OKC
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 11:55 PM

Achy Breaky Heart

Johnny


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: akenaton
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 02:36 AM

I dont think theres any such thing as a "bad song",unless it incites bigotry racism ect.
Out in the real world there are all sorts of people and the love all sorts of music.
We Folkies shouldn't be so "tight arsed"....Ake


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Arne Langsetmo
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:23 AM

IC we've moved from the BS department. I wasn't quite sure I should inflict this thread on the serious folk music discussions, so I initially put it down there.

Akenaton: I agree completely. I won't let anyone else make up my mind for me which songs are irredeemably bad. Someone (usually the writer) usually thought them pretty good (and we have to keep in mind, us folkies, that what we think is cutting, incisive, heart-rending, or just simply a whompin' good time, is considered boring at best to most people). That doesn't mean, however, that we can't have our own opinions as to what songs are a terrible waste of petrochemicals. . . . ;-)

Any comments on "From A Distance"? I think it's a wonderful song, but it seems that it got co-opted by the pop people in at least a couple schlocky renditions, and I suspect that it did because they simply had no idea what Julie Gold was really saying (I suspect that non-folkies don't have functioning Sarcas-O-Meters).

Cheers,

                              -- Arne


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:29 AM

The Death Of Queen Jane
The House Of Orange
'By The People' by Dick Gaughan
'Psycho Street' by Richard Thompson


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:36 AM

I saw mommy kissing santa claus

Sad Movies Always make me cry..


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:41 AM

Who stole my playlist I want to know?!
Seriously, folks, Herself & the compulsive record collector are proud to reveal we only own one of the songs they listed: "Sounds of Silence" (one of Hers, of course!).

The worst one in MY collection has to be St Lonnie's "World Cup Willie". (No, 'Spaw, it wasn't a prize!)

RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Stewie
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 04:34 AM

Chris B, I have no strong feelings about your other three choices, but 'Death of Queen Jane' is a belter of a broadside. Only last night, I was listening to a superb recording of it by Danny Spooner and Lis Johnston.

--Stewie.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Roberto
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 06:01 AM

Stewie, I'd like to know something about these singers and the recording of The Death of Queen Jane you mentioned. Thanks. R


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: HipflaskAndy
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 06:21 AM

I've written at least 49 of the worst songs ever.
Just working on the 50th now.
Hic!


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Subject: Lyr Add: LOREENA'S LAMENT
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 06:54 AM

Here is a worst song I wrote myself (based on the true story of Loreena Bobbitt). be warned, Kendall was admitted to hospital with heart problems just half an hour after reading it!

Loreena's Lament

(sung to the tune of the Banks of the Ohio)

I told my love go take a walk
Take a walk just a little walk
Down beside where the waters flow
Down by the banks of the Ohio

CH
And only say that you'll be mine
And in no others arms entwine
Down beside where the waters flow
Down by the banks of the Ohio

I took a knife unto his dick
And sliced right through that cheatin' prick
He cried Loreena don't ya mutilate me
I'm not prepared for celibacy

And only say that you'll be mine
And in no others arms entwine
Down beside where the waters flow
Down by the banks of the Ohio

I drove my car through the lonely night
And tossed that old fella off to the right
He dialed triple 9 for emergency
They found his manhood beneath a tree

And only say…etc

The po-lice man he didn't blink
He said Loreena you need a shrink
He said Loreena that just wasn't nice
And he thrust that dick on frozen ice

And only say…etc

The doctor came and sewed him up
I wept into my empty cup
He made a million on cheap porn flix
They counseled me and I got nix

And only say that you'll be mine
And in no others arms entwine
Down beside where the waters flow
Down by the banks of the Ohio

f.u.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:23 AM

OUCH !


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Noddy
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:25 AM

Everything by the Spice girls and all their solo stuff. That must be 50. If not it just seems that many.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Sooz(at work)
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:35 AM

Some songs have been done to death - churned or thrashed out in the same way time after time. Then you hear one you hate, sung in a new way and you love it! Bob Fox's latest CD (Borrowed Moments) does this for me wit "Dance to your Daddy" and "Shoals of Herring" and on Sunday at Grimsby Folk Club we heard Mark Campbell and Paul Bellamy's version of "South Australia" -almost a lullaby!
Perhaps this would be a good subject for a new thread!


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: DMcG
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:06 AM

As perhaps one of the most laboured choruses of all time, I nominate one of the Village Carols from Dungworth. Overall, the carols are fabulous, but this one brings on a fit of giggles if I'm not careful:

Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho!,
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

And jingle, jingle, jing-a-jing jing,
Right merry shall you be,
And jingle, jingle, he comes this way,
He comes with the Christmas tree,
And welcome, welcome, welcome Kris,
Right welcome shall you be,
Oh here he is, yes, yes, he is,
'Tis Kris with the Christmas tree,
The Christmas tree,
The Christmas tree,
The Christmas tree, -

The Christmas tree!


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Stewie
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:48 AM

Roberto, I'll PM you tomorrow in relation to your query.

--Stewie.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:08 AM

Streets of London and Wild Rover


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Peace
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:42 PM

I understand that Bobbitt couldn't be tried for the assault because no one thought the evidence would stand up in court.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Macha
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 04:03 PM

Beer Beer Beer
Skellig (Lorena McKennitt)
anything by britney spears
The Barney Song aka I love You
B is for barney
Green Gravel


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Benjamin
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 04:36 PM

First of all, My Heart will go on should be a lot higher than 50. Second, I don't agree with putting sound of silence on there. From reading their review, they clearly never heard the original version with just a guitar. The rock band was added later, without their consent.

I'll think of some folk tunes to put on here later.
Benjamin


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 05:07 PM

'The Folksinger' is a pretty embarrassing pseudo-folk song. Hearing 'Aquarius' makes me physically sick and whenever Barbara Streisand sings anything I get a headache. I'm not joking, it's true.

One of the major disappointments of getting my hands on Napster (remember that?) was downloading rareties from my youth and hearing them for the first time in 30-odd years and realizing they are shite.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 05:22 PM

jusat about anything jim morrison ever wrote...though there are one or two songs that i do like...but that's it...pure juvenile drivel.

but anyways...bob dylan's just like a woman...especially that line where "She makes love just like a woman." I always think...well at least she doesn't make love just like a man....but then that may make the song a little more interesting ;)

G'day G'day and Duncan get on my nerves....though I love Slim Dusty's music....


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Callie
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 06:08 PM

Macha - you must really hate Barney. What's the poor guy done to you?

"From A Distance" ARRGGGHHH! I hear they're using the song in poison wards to induce vomiting.

C


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Arne Langsetmo
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:24 PM

Callie: . . . .

OK, I reeled one in, folks, what do I do with her?
So Callie, why don't you like it? (I will admit that
there are some renditions that are close to emetic)

What about Dylan's trash? Anyone care to nominate
any (or every) song of his in the last 20 years?

Some people just love Bob Franke's stuff (and count me
in there even if some of the lyrics are a bit stilted).
Anyone hate him?

I notice someone didn't like Stan Roger's "House of
Orange". Why? Did you like "Lockkeeper"?

What makes a "bad" song really bad? Are some songs
really intolarable at certain times, but just the cat's
meow at other times (come to think of it, the cat's
meow is intolerable at certain times, but just
the cat's meow at other times....)?

Is the fifth interminable minor key ballad in a row
intrinsically "bad"? The first?

* * * * *

Getting into the world of pop (elevator) schlock, I think
that my absolute top candidate for really wretched has to
be when I was riding in a shuttle bus, and the PA was
blaring inane music. Then on came Dave Brubeck's
classic "Take Four". . . .   "Take Four?", you say, "I've
never heard that one..."   Some dim bulb somewhere with
a MIDI sequencer and a drum machine and no instruction
manual seems to have fixed the song and put it into the
more pleasing 4/4 time. . . . <*bleeeeccchhhh*>

Cheers,

                        -- Arne


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Scoville
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:57 PM

I once heard a good version of "Achy Breaky Heart". It had been converted to zydeco and, since I don't speak Cajun French, I couldn't understand a word (and the musical arrangement was vastly improved).

I've always hated "Old Joe Clark". I'm not sure why except that most of the verses are not only nonsensical but crude, and the monotonous tune makes me want to shoot myself (ditto for "Bile 'Em Cabbage" and "Mississippi Sawyer"). I refuse to learn it because I'd rather spend my memory cells on more interesting songs.

I'm not supposed to admit this, but I've also always despised the ridiculous song that we Quaker children are forced to sing about George Fox (in my old leather britches and my shaggy shaggy locks . . . ). Unfortunately, I think it might be a Sydney Carter song, may he rest in peace.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:41 PM

Obviously, Amergin, you have not had the nasty experience of making love with a female who does NOT do it "just like a woman"... :-) After all, there are reputed to be some who do it like: a sack of flour, a block of ice, a manatee, a bulldozer, an electric toothbrush, etc...

Man, you just don't know a good line when you hear it. Heh! What he is saying is really quite obvious. She's "like a woman" in all the usual ways one could possibly mention (and that's a compliment...or could it be a complaint?), except...this one way...she "breaks" just like a little girl. And what does that mean? It may mean she breaks down (cries) like a little girl...or it may not...but it implies great tenderness on the part of the singer toward his ex-lover, and it's fine poetry, cos it's full of loss, regret, and mystery. It's the PERFECT line, Amergin, my friend.

My nomination for the "worst songs" list is: Jingle Bell Rock

I want to shoot someone when I hear that song.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,poopstain
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:20 AM

I have a couple to add to this list. Remember some of the most putrid drivel to stink up the airwaves in the early '70's? Just after the bubble-gum craze. How about "Billy Don't Be A Hero," or "The Night Chicago Died?" I guess we could add "Run Joey Run" to that list also. Oh yeah, the Bay City Rollers were awful too. Sorry I reminded you.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Amergin
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:58 AM

LH, I do like alot of Dylan's stuff...he has written some fabulous songs...but some just do not float...they remind me of a boat with several big leaks and the bilge pumps not working.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Benjamin
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:12 AM

Amergin, I thought that remark was funny!


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Wombat at work
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 07:23 AM

The fields of Athenry............aghhhhhhhh


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: 42
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 07:31 AM

Feelings! No question, no hesitation, no competition.

   In the Folk category... The Centurion - the only song I know that takes a century to sing, everyone dies and they'd do it all again.

j


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:07 AM

Anything by the Chipmunks. Nothing else comes close.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:38 AM

'The Lady' by Sandy Denny


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:29 AM

I think the concept is flawed from the beginning.    Jerry Della Famina (marketing guru) once asked "what is the worst tv commercial" He than stated "wrong, the worst commercial is the one you don't remember"    I think the same is true of bad songs.   The truly bad songs are the ones you don't remember.

That being said, here are some truly awful songs I wish I didn't remember.

Kung Fu Fighting (did people actually buy that record?)
Seasons int he Sun
Billy don't be a hero
Yummy yummy yummy
Sugar Sugar
The legend of Billy Jack (one tin soldier)
My ding a ling
Knock 3 Times
Honey
Your having my baby

I have to stop- this is just to painful


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Willie-O
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM

I once had a ten-hour ride in a Winnebago. They had one tape. It was "Feelings". YEEEEEOOOOOQQWWWW

Likewise I spent two or three days driving across the northern States in December in a car full of rednecks. "Lyin' Eyes" was on the radio every 10 minutes that year. No more, no more, no more, no more. I was so sick of that song I got off in Fargo North Dakota. It was -20 Fahrenheit and I didn't care.

W-O


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:14 AM

About a year ago, I was driving to my local bar listening to a very cool radio station which has a Reggae program on Sunday evening. An interesting instrumental tune came on, and I thought wow that sounds cool and I know the tune from somewhere. After stripping out all the percussion and the Ska piano and shuffle organ and concentrating on the melody I discovered it was "Danny Boy". So it's not always the song that's bad sometimes it's just how you play it.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: radriano
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:09 AM

More mental masturbation - another friggin' useless thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Brían
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:10 AM

I remember one that made me puke even in the polyester daze of the 70's that had the memorable lines:

How he makes me quiver
How he makes me smile
With all this love I have to give him
I guess I'm gonna stay with him awhile

Stay awhile"
(Written by Ken Tobias, 1971)

Now I'll spend the rest of the day trying to get it out of my head.

Brían


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: Brían
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:13 AM

Oh, I almost forgot. When my wife wants to drive me crazy, she just clicks on her file of BANAPPLE GAS which she has saved to her favorites.

Brían


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Subject: RE: BS: 50 worst songs ever
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:34 AM

Willie-O: So revved up wood-chippers started looking attractive? I've gotta admit, that's bad. . . . .   ;-)

Cheers,

                                 -- Arne


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