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His worship and the pig

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breezy 09 Jan 04 - 12:01 PM
Sooz 09 Jan 04 - 12:12 PM
nutty 09 Jan 04 - 12:15 PM
GUEST,Strollin' Johnny 09 Jan 04 - 12:17 PM
Sooz 09 Jan 04 - 12:20 PM
George Papavgeris 09 Jan 04 - 12:26 PM
GUEST,Strollin' Johnny 09 Jan 04 - 12:27 PM
vectis 09 Jan 04 - 12:38 PM
PoppaGator 09 Jan 04 - 12:49 PM
Grampus 09 Jan 04 - 01:50 PM
John J 09 Jan 04 - 02:01 PM
Herga Kitty 09 Jan 04 - 03:20 PM
clansfolk 09 Jan 04 - 03:21 PM
breezy 10 Jan 04 - 10:12 AM
Nevada 10 Jan 04 - 12:11 PM
GUEST,Excess all areas 10 Jan 04 - 04:30 PM
clansfolk 10 Feb 04 - 04:58 AM
breezy 10 Feb 04 - 06:34 AM
Emma B 10 Feb 04 - 01:41 PM
GUEST,Ed The Fed 03 Mar 19 - 08:08 AM
GUEST 03 Mar 19 - 01:39 PM
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Subject: His worship and the pig
From: breezy
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:01 PM

O K catters, I've read their web site, whose seen them?

let me have your views please.


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: Sooz
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:12 PM

Excellent stuff and really nice chaps.


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: nutty
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:15 PM

Great humour and performance ...two lovely guys.


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: GUEST,Strollin' Johnny
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:17 PM

And coming to the Gainsborough Folk Club in the not-too-distant future Sooz, if my aged grey-matter isn't failing me?


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: Sooz
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:20 PM

Yep......5th March


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:26 PM

Saw them at M'head last year. Cracking night.


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: GUEST,Strollin' Johnny
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:27 PM

Looking forward to it. And the numerous pints of Monkeywrench that hopefully will be consumed.


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: vectis
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:38 PM

Brilliant fun


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: PoppaGator
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:49 PM

How 'bout a link to said website?


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: Grampus
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 01:50 PM

Brilliant!!!

http://www.hisworshipandthepig.co.uk/


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: John J
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 02:01 PM

They were supposed to be at the Railway in Lymm last night, but they had to cancel 'cos of illness :-(

JJ


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 03:20 PM

I've seen them at Alcester and I caught their Christmas show at Upton-on-Severn a couple of years ago (yes, I know Upton's in May, but Verna wanted the Christmas show so she got it). Wonderful stuff.

Kitty


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: clansfolk
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 03:21 PM

They are Brill - and have supplied us with some fantastic songs that we've record (At His Worships Pleasure)

who could forget
                "The Aadvark Song" (sic)
                "Now that You're 50"
                "If You had a Brain"
          and   "Little Willie's Walnut Whip"


To name just a few of their funny songs they've also have written some superb serious songs as well.

They went down a bomb at Fylde Folk Festival last year and I believe they're on the list for booking again in 2004 at Fylde.

If anyone can get to The Falcon's 10th Birthday Party on the 11th February at Poulton Nr Blackpool - they'll be there and well worth the trip!

Falcon Party with "His Worship" thread


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: breezy
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 10:12 AM

So I've been right to book 'em for St Albans then, the thing is ,will St Albans be ready for them?
Friday 4th June
Book your places now.
PM me for details.
I'll be at the Asheridge Arms tonight-sat 10th jan- with Hamish and El Greko.
Thank you all for your contributions.


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: Nevada
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 12:11 PM

a laugh & a half!!!


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: GUEST,Excess all areas
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 04:30 PM

Well done Breezy - you won't regret it and neither will St Albans!


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: clansfolk
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 04:58 AM

At the Falcon (thread) This Wednesday 11th Feb 2004 - really looking forward to seeing them again - and there back at Fylde Folk Festival in Sept as well... Brill


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: breezy
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 06:34 AM

I put it in my diary but

Anyway I ve got em booked for June in St Albans

Poulton , shall I ? shant I?


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: Emma B
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:41 PM

The "hospital set" has to be experinced to be believed; massed orchestra of rubber gloves! The Christmas show went down a bomb in May at Chester Festival last year too.
But hey folks........let's hear it for the wives too; Nurses to die for (probably of a heart attack!)


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: GUEST,Ed The Fed
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 08:08 AM

Has anyone got the lyrics to 'Big Cosgrove'?   We need a reality check at Bridlington!


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Subject: RE: His worship and the pig
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 01:39 PM

Ed,

Now , here's the lyrics that I have

        Jake
****************************************************************

                     The Ballad of Big Cosgrove and the Lady Jane

                   by Jeff Paton & Dave Boulton (His Worship the Pig)

This ballad was collected in the town of Derby Bolton
But this one's not a Childe ballad, this one's an adult one
So, turn off your Hi-Fi and TV likewise that cursed Nintendo
I will sing a song comprising, mainly filth and innuendo.

Come listen to a stirring tale of passion and of power
There are more than eighty verses and it only lasts an hour - or so!
Concerning Great Lord Wildblood and his lovely Lady Jane
And a man called Big Jack Cosgrove, of great renown and fame.

Now he wasn't called Big Cosgrove 'cos he had the strength of two
He was only four foot eight in height and six stone six wet through
Though small of frame, he held the name because, reputedly
His bright broad sword, wasn't all that hung down by his knee!

It happened thus one Whitsuntide, the sun rose dour and dull.
Big Cosgrove, he rode into town and he was on the pull.
And Lords and Ladies, they came down from boudoir and from battle
To dance, romance and catch perchance a glimpse of Cosgrove's tackle.

Lord Randal and Lord Ingram came, Lord Wildblood and his missus
Lord Loval and Lord Bateman's wives were trading show-biz kisses
But it seems Big Cosgrove was delayed or might not show at all
And the crowd all cried "Eee, Jack, you're late!", but that was premature

For he burst into the party and he raised an awful cry.
For his armour bright was much too tight and pinched twixt groin and thigh
And there was music on the stairs and the strains of stirring song
As Big Cosgrove strode a tiny giant thru that milling throng

And it fell out on that holiday as it oft times had before
But he quickly put it away again and hoped nobody saw
And he strode up to the lady Jane, saying, "Lady, are you dancing?"
She said, "Kind sir, if you're asking, then Yea verrily I'm dancing"

So he took her by the lily white hand with fingers long and small
'Cos the other hand was short and fat and just not nice at all
He clutched her to his breastplate till she chastised him and implored
"Why Sir, you're weapon doth provoke me", he said "Nay lass, that's my sword"

He joined her in a swift quadrille both rigorous and rough
With lusty looks she struts her funky, medieval stuff
And breathlessly she whispers in the dance's dying seconds
"Why Sir, your sword doth still provoke me", he said "Nay lass, that's my weapon"

Well the hall was decked that eventide with horns and brazen trumpets
But he wasn't there for music but to see the brazen strumpets
And some went down in velveteen and some went down in lace
And when Lady Jane went down it put a smile on Cosgrove's face

He arranged to meet her later in a secret lover's tryst
Well, Jane turned up a half hour late and Jack turned up half pissed
At the height of passion Lady Jane said "I hear someone coming"
But Jack said "It isn't me, love, it must just be the plumbing"

But her husband burst into the room exuding might and main
And said, "You've kissed my wedded wife, you cad, you knave, you swain!"
Jack said, "I will deny that charge in front of a solicitor"
"In fact about the only thing I have not done is kiss her!"

Lord Wildblood said, "I have two swords, to cut through flesh and bone"
"And I shall take the best of them and you can get your own!"
And the very first blow that Cosgrove struck just nicked Lord Wildblood's neck
And the very first blow that Wildblood struck laid Cosgrove on the deck

Jane pulled away from Wildblood and she ran to Cosgrove's side
She placed her naked nubile form before his fading eyes
Miraculous effects occurred but not quite the ones desired
For he was laid out and bolt upright at the moment he expired

And it came to pass Big Cosgrove, he went to his god unbidden
Well they bought a lovely coffin but they couldn't get the lid on
So they had the box extended but it made the strangest scene
For it looked like they were burying a wooden submarine!

So Big Cosgrove he was buried in Ye Olde Robin Hoode
But the grave it wasn't deep enough the way it had been dug
But they buried Cosgrove anyway and rather than dig more
They left him with his periscope protruding thru the floor

And people would trip over it when going to the bar
They spilt their drinks and skinned their knees, they complained, they cursed, they swore
"You could do yourself an injury" is what they all would say
"So, why don't you saw it off and throw the bloody thing away?"

But the landlord would not do that for he'd promised Lady Jane
That Cosgrove had a resting place where'ere he could remain
So instead he nailed a seat on top, the sentimental fool
        And when Lady Jane is in the mood
        You'll find her in the Robin Hood
        Still dressed all in her mourning lace
        With a look of pleasure on her face
        Still sitting in her favourite place
        On Big Jack Cosgrove's stool!!

**********************************************


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Mudcat time: 16 October 9:22 AM EDT

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