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BS: The things kids say!

Related threads:
Folklore: Old sayings from childhood (232)
The things Kids say (43) (closed)
Kids say the darndest things (22) (closed)


Bill D 18 Jul 08 - 01:39 PM
katlaughing 18 Jul 08 - 12:30 PM
Anne Lister 18 Jul 08 - 12:13 PM
Bryn Pugh 18 Jul 08 - 04:47 AM
Bert 18 Jul 08 - 04:23 AM
Mrrzy 09 May 07 - 09:28 PM
katlaughing 09 May 07 - 09:42 AM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 03 May 05 - 08:14 PM
mandoleer 03 May 05 - 05:27 PM
dwditty 03 May 05 - 03:24 PM
The Shambles 03 May 05 - 03:14 PM
The Shambles 03 May 05 - 03:09 PM
Arnie 28 May 04 - 02:27 PM
Sandra in Sydney 28 May 04 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 10:14 PM
GUEST 27 May 04 - 05:29 PM
GUEST,Lovechild 27 May 04 - 05:26 PM
Flash Company 27 May 04 - 10:06 AM
Georgiansilver 27 May 04 - 06:43 AM
s&r 27 May 04 - 05:33 AM
s&r 27 May 04 - 05:32 AM
Roger the Skiffler 27 May 04 - 04:13 AM
GUEST,vectis 26 May 04 - 06:30 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 03:16 PM
semi-submersible 26 May 04 - 03:15 PM
muppett 26 May 04 - 11:11 AM
Flash Company 26 May 04 - 11:05 AM
GUEST,ozmacca 25 May 04 - 09:01 PM
Mrrzy 25 May 04 - 04:51 PM
Amos 25 May 04 - 04:36 PM
Little Hawk 25 May 04 - 04:28 PM
GUEST,Arnie 25 May 04 - 04:23 PM
DMcG 06 Jan 04 - 09:51 AM
s&r 06 Jan 04 - 09:47 AM
Doktor Doktor 06 Jan 04 - 08:30 AM
Janie 06 Jan 04 - 08:21 AM
Moses 06 Jan 04 - 07:21 AM
GUEST,KB 05 Jan 04 - 06:23 AM
muppett 05 Jan 04 - 04:58 AM
C-flat 04 Jan 04 - 05:20 PM
YorkshireYankee 04 Jan 04 - 12:43 AM
Mickey191 03 Jan 04 - 10:03 AM
C-flat 03 Jan 04 - 05:19 AM
GUEST,Desdemona 02 Jan 04 - 10:46 PM
Alba 02 Jan 04 - 07:09 PM
Andy Sables 02 Jan 04 - 05:11 PM
PoppaGator 02 Jan 04 - 04:37 PM
GUEST,Nancy King at work 02 Jan 04 - 04:33 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 03:48 PM
Chief Chaos 02 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 01:39 PM

The teacher was reading to the 3rd grade class when she came to the word 'frugal'. She asked the class if they knew it, and got no response.
"Well, it means 'saving'" she explained. "Can anyone use it in a sentence?"
There was a short silence, the Little Johnny raised his hand.

"A knight was out riding when he saw a princess being attacked by a dragon. "Frugal me, frugal me!", she cried...so he killed the dragon and frugaled her, and they lived happily everafter."


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 12:30 PM

Those are great fun, folks!

I often tells friends to "give me a holler" when saying goodbye on the telephone. 4.5 yr. old Morgan asked me one day after I'd said such, "What's a holler?" You could just see the wheels, wondering if it was something he wanted, too!

For some reason, he has changed his most often used word "why" into "why-ah?" recently. Almost sounds like "why-aye!" Maybe it was that Mark Knopfler CD he's heard, though not recently!:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 12:13 PM

Still remember the little blonde cutie who told me and the class I was teaching that they'd had a difficult time at the weekend because her dad had hurt his tentacles. Luckily I made the right guess and asked if it was his tendons that had been hurt ...
Then there was the 7 year old child who was listening to the story of how Sir Gawain got married. When he heard the test question of "What do women most want?" he put his hand up straight away. "Good sex", he said. The word went around the staffroom amazingly fast, all of us wondering just how he knew ...

And finally, my favourite mis-spelling of all time. A class I worked with recently had just been to visit the HMS Victory and another ship, known to some of them as the HMS Worrier. I think there's probably a whole novel in that one - motto "But what if...??"

Anne


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:47 AM

On seeing a (UK) "No Right Turn" sign, the youngest grandbrat said

"BrynDad - no boomerangs allowed down there !"

You can't fault the logic . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Bert
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:23 AM

3 year old Dante was watching Ratatouille AGAIN and he sees Remy with a cheese knife, you know the kind that curves at the end and is bifurcated.

"Look Granma" he says "a rhinoceros knife"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 May 07 - 09:28 PM

Tim, upon being vaccinated against some meningococcus - "Wait - me ninja cock what?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 May 07 - 09:42 AM

My 3.5 year old grandson gets frustrated easily when the words won't come out fast enough to express his views on the world. Lately, he's been resorting to using the word "hate" which we are discouraging as he is using it in hurtful ways. Last night he told his mom he wasn't going to use That Word any more. After a few moments, he then asked her "Who made that word, anyway?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 03 May 05 - 08:14 PM

Small girl at the school where I work was suffering frequent, and severe nosebleeds. One lunchtime she came up to me and said "I won't be at school tomorrow, 'cos I'm going to the hospickle to have my nose criticised".

Don T.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: mandoleer
Date: 03 May 05 - 05:27 PM

6 year old small cousin came flying across the room, landed heavily (she's not that small!) on me, gave me a moment to recover, and announced, 'Butterflies are symmetrical!'
Another cousin (now a lawyer) was watching one of the early moon shots on TV. Friend of her father said, 'Look Sabie, there's the rocket!' Sabie (2 and a half) looked at the screen and said, 'That's not the rocket, that's the lunar module.'
Same vein: Small thing in pushchair ignoring the world. Stout maiden aunt type pokes it, and tells it to 'Look at the gee-gee!' Small thing looks out of pushchair, says 'Horse' and goes back to ignoring everything.
On a personal note, I was asked (at 3 or 4) why I had almost all my toys spread about the floor. My reply: 'I'm making chaos!'


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: dwditty
Date: 03 May 05 - 03:24 PM

Child's display of Faith.

When my youngest was about 5 she lost a tooth. Her older sister, in a display of bubble burting, told her, "Aw, Mom is the tooth fairy." The reply from the 5 year old?

"Mom can't be the tooth fairy. She is home every night."

dw


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 May 05 - 03:14 PM

A boy was asked how long he had been a Manchester United supporter and he replied - 6 years.

When asked how old he was - he said - 4.........

For 2 years - perhaps he was a Manchester Uterus supporter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 May 05 - 03:09 PM

A child was telling the teacher and the class about the change in their homelife.

Their old dad had left now and they had been told that the new man in the house would like them to call him dad. His name - the child said was Ron Smith.

A voice from the back said - "Ron Smith - we had him - he was rubbish"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Arnie
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:27 PM

Another one from my wife's school today. Little lad comes in and tearfully tells the teacher that he'd found a dead sparrow on the ground this morning - he explained that 'God took away it's heart'. How sweet!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:22 AM

Last week our office had a fund-raiser for charity that involved colleagues getting their hair dyed or almost shaved off for money. We raised several thousands, which was great, but the highlight for me came from my friend's 7 year old daughter.

She was alseep when Daddy came home with neon coloured short hair (dunno what his fellow commuters thought of his hair - maybe he wasn't rhe only one on the train!)

Next morning he washed out the colour & at the brekkie table she asked about his new short hair. He explained that his colleagues had cut it off & that all the money raised went to help sick children. She asked why they had cut holes in it at the front. Dad's hair line is receding!!

That innocent comment reminds me of one made several decades ago. A 2 year old announced in a very loud voice in the middle of a party "Mummy's got long titties".

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:14 PM

I remember lots of the things I said as a child. I also remember, only too well, the taste of soap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:29 PM

Our little girl came in to mum and said "Daddy's F'ing the cat" What she meant was I was swearing at it. Never again,,,didn't know she could hear me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,Lovechild
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:26 PM

Overheard in a school classroom...Boy says to girl "There's a condomn behind the radiator" Girl replies "What's a radiator?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Flash Company
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:06 AM

Another song!
We were sitting in the garden one sunny afternoon and our neighbour's Grandson, aged about five,was marching around singing.
My wife suddenly said 'What is he singing?'
I listened and replied' I can just hear his teacher saying 'Now children, how would they sing it in France?'
He was singing, Loudly:-

If you're happy and you know it do a wee-wee!

Well it only means one thing when your five!

FC


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:43 AM

True story:- Teacher in a junior class asked the children to draw a picture of the Nativity.
One girl was asked by the teacher..Sally, you have drawn Mary and Baby Jesus..but who is the very fat man in the picture, is it supposed to be Joseph?
"No" replied Sally "It's round John"
Eventually the teacher discovered she had the idea for the picture as a result of the Carol "Silent Night" in which the words...........
"Round yon(Round John) virgin mother" and child stood out.
Be Blessed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: s&r
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:33 AM

Should some Joeclone combine these threads?


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: s&r
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:32 AM

Friend's tale:

Josie and Andrew (5 and 7) had to sleep in the same room when their grandfather visited. Granddad went in one morning, pulled the curtains back, and said jovially
"Morning has broken!"

Josie: "It was Andrew."


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 27 May 04 - 04:13 AM

Re-reading C-flat's 22 Dec post reminds me of a similar experience when I was the little kid with a head full of story books. A Sikh carpet salesman came down the entry to our row of houses (we were behind and above shops)and knocked on the kitchen door. I went to the door and came running into the shop(my aunt's hairdressers where my mother was working)and told the whole assembly: "There's a cannibal in the garden".
Parent apologised to salesman, salesman apologised for frightening child. Child with over active imagination never allowed to forget it!

RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,vectis
Date: 26 May 04 - 06:30 PM

When my two sons were 6 & 7 they went to a village school and one day on the drive home they suddenly pointed to a slurry tanker spraying a field and said
"Look mum it's the pooh gun"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:16 PM

Wow -- that kid has a lip on him, huh?? :>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: semi-submersible
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:15 PM

My 5-year-old is getting saucy.

Last night, after the neighbour brought him home from a visit, young Michael hopped back into her truck, saying, "I'm coming home with you."

"Then you'll sleep with the dog," she said.

He shot back, "Thanks for the offer to sleep with the dog, but I think I'll just kick you out of your bed, and I'll sleep in it."


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: muppett
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:11 AM

When my daughter was at nursery she sang me the following song;

Who built the Ark?
No one, No one


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Flash Company
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:05 AM

Overheard from a five year old at the time when the Mary Poppins film first came round:-

In every job that must be done
There is an elephant for fun!

Sounded a better idea at the time.

FC


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 25 May 04 - 09:01 PM

Mrrzy, with that aptitude, if the kid survives into adulthood, he'll do extremely well (actually, it'll be a miracle......)


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:51 PM

Two from my son Tim, the punster:

1) at his cousin's interminable bar mitzvah when the last prayer began: Hey mom, it's the grand finally!

2) Getting into Mom's elevator, after pressing "4" for her floor: (solemnly) 4 floors and 7 years ago...


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:36 PM

Sure -- if you can have nowadays, why not thenadays? People often complain about having one of themadays...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:28 PM

Sure. And if the expression "thenadays" got used enough on some popular TV show, like Friends or Seinfeldt, you would soon find it becoming an accepted part of the English language. "Humungous" is one of those words, and "bodacious" is another.

Kids have a way of going straight to the heart of something.


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Subject: BS: The things kids say
From: GUEST,Arnie
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:23 PM

Kids have such a logical way of looking at things. My wife was teaching a class of infants about 'Now and Then'. She gave some examples of things we have around us nowadays, then asked the kids to write about how things were in the past - so one little lad puts his hand up and asks 'Please miss, how do you spell 'thenadays'...the strange thing is that this makes complete sense!


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: DMcG
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:51 AM

My son did something similar when he was three and a half. We were on a bridge over a railway line as a train train pulled unto the station when an elderly lady asked him what it was. He replied 'A mark three open coach'.
Messages from multiple threads combined. Most of the messages below are from a new thread.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: s&r
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:47 AM

Our four year old grandson lives on a working farm in Ireland. He was in the car with us, and as we went along we pointed out various things, as you do, and seeing a tractor, we said: "Look Adam! Tractor!"

With a withering glance he replied: "Tractor - with a silage trailer".


Subsequently he educated us on all the attachments that we encountered hanging on the back of tractors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Doktor Doktor
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 08:30 AM

Kids are no respecters of etiquette.
My mate & his wife ahd an argument whilst driving to the supermarket. 5 yo was asleep in the back. In the end herself told Phil he could "F**k Off".

At the checkout proceedings were interrupted by Freya's shrill enquiry "Mummy and Daddy - now you're not going to start F***ing in the car again are you?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Janie
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 08:21 AM

When my son, Stan, was three we were visiting my mother for Christmas. He had asked her about her creche and she had just finished telling him about it and naming all the figurines when I walked into the room. Stan proudly began touching each little statue and naming them for me. He said "This is Mary, Joseph, the wise men, and this is the baby Cheeses!"

Janie


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Moses
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 07:21 AM

We live fairly close a local landmark on the A40 known as the Polish War Memorial. It is a stone column with a bronze Eagle on top.

Following a conversation with my friend's (then) three year old daughter, some 20 years ago, we still tend to give directions like:- "When you get to the Big Pigeon, turn left"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 06:23 AM

Omlit's latest... (12 yr old daughter)

Watching TV the other night - she turned to me seriously and said "My God mum! There's so much sex in TV advertising these days!"
I nodded in a sage and what-a-terrible-world sort of way. At which she grinned delightedly and said "Great, innit!"

Kris


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: muppett
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 04:58 AM

I remember this quote from my daughter when she was about 3 years old;

'Daddy why can't you turn off the dark like you can with a light?'

I also remember having a conversation with my step son when he was about 6 years old about his day at school, he'd been learning about Lent. The gist of the conversation went thus,

'Muppett do you think that Mum would let me stop at home for the next few weeks?'
I asked why are you ill?
he said 'no, but teacher said we'd to try and give up something we like during lent and I like going to School'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: C-flat
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 05:20 PM

I was just reminded of the day I accidently locked my car keys in the boot(trunk) and, in a fit of pique, kicked the car while cursing it and the world generally.
"What's the matter with daddy?" asked my 3-year-old.
"Oh, I think your daddy's losing his marbles!" my partner replied.
Some time later, after breaking into the car with a large screwdriver, I was attempting to recover said screwdriver from underneath the car, where it had rolled when I threw it to the ground.
My young daughter cautiously approached......"Are you still looking for your marbles?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 12:43 AM

My neice Erin (about 5 at the time) was visiting the Grandparents. Towards the end of dinner, Erin asked what was for dessert. Grandma asked if she would like some fruit.
"I don't want healthy food... I want dessert!"

Cheers,

YY


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Mickey191
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:03 AM

My adult cousin was talking with a 5 year old who has the deepest voice any little girl could have. The child had heard he'd had a pacemaker, then a defribulator put in & also laser eye surgery. She wants to feel the slight protrusion in his chest, as she's touching it, she says, "So what's next?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: C-flat
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 05:19 AM

When our daughter was learning to read, I spent a lot of time reading with her, encouraging her to follow the print and turn the pages as we went, until she was proficient enough to tell me the story. One evening, half way through a story, she turned to me and said "Are you OK to finish this on your own if I go and watch TV?"
So can any of you tell me what happened to Big Billy Goat Gruff?


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 10:46 PM

A favourite story in our house concerns my youngest son, who one morning walked into the kitchen and spied my old teapot sitting under a brand new, quite posh green velvet tea cosy I'd received as a Xmas gift. I heard him give a muffled giggle, and when I asked him what was funny, he pulled me aside and replied, sotto voce of course, "Mama, your teapot is wearing a *hat*!" He clearly thought my teapot fancied itself the life of the party, and felt it polite to whisper about how silly it looked!

They ARE cute, aren't they?

D.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Alba
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 07:09 PM

My Son, at age 4, came in shouting "Mum, Mum I have a broo!
Looking at the Elbow he was clutching I replied "no Luke you have a Bruise"....."No Mum" says Luke "there is only one of them"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Andy Sables
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 05:11 PM

When my son Matthew was 4, his other grandad (not Bill) was playing with him, telling him that he was going to kiss his belly, then he was going to kiss his legs, then going to kiss his face.

Matthew stood back and with a straight face replied "You can kiss my arse"

Grandad was most put out and informed us in a very straight face that Matthew ad just sworn. When we related the events to grandad no. 2 (Bill Sables) he nearly wet himself laughing. How different grandparents can be.

Andy


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: PoppaGator
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:37 PM

When our then-preschool-aged daughter asked where babies come from, my wife figured the best policy would be to more-or-less tell the truth (while omitting complete details, of course). Young Maggie's response:

"Go get Daddy and show me!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,Nancy King at work
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:33 PM

Cottage cheese has been "Gosh Jeez" in my family for several generations now, thanks to one then-young cousin.

My brother once very seriously told our folks that he wanted "Venetian blondes" for his bedroom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 03:48 PM

LOL!!! "Look Mom!!!" LOL!! I love it, CC!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM

For years my mother regailed us from the front seat pointing out the differnt kinds of livestock we happened to be passing. Not just horse or cow buit the actual name of the species one of which was of course Herefords. Fast forward a couple of years to my sister now 19 taking mom on a Mother Daughter trip. Trying to show my mom that she loved her and had also beenpaying attention all those years, my sister pointed out the driver side window and said "Look Mom! Perverts!" Mom told me that after her double take to look out the window she just couldn't stop laughing. Some times I feel sorry for my sister...not often...but sometimes.


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