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BS: Graffiti Anyone?

Fiolar 28 Oct 03 - 09:07 AM
Bill D 28 Oct 03 - 10:35 AM
Dead Horse 28 Oct 03 - 02:18 PM
curmudgeon 28 Oct 03 - 02:22 PM
mack/misophist 28 Oct 03 - 03:25 PM
GUEST 28 Oct 03 - 04:13 PM
GUEST 28 Oct 03 - 04:14 PM
GUEST,pdc 28 Oct 03 - 04:15 PM
jeffp 28 Oct 03 - 04:27 PM
GUEST 28 Oct 03 - 05:11 PM
GUEST,Martin Gibson 28 Oct 03 - 05:34 PM
Donuel 28 Oct 03 - 06:35 PM
catspaw49 28 Oct 03 - 08:01 PM
curmudgeon 28 Oct 03 - 08:47 PM
LadyJean 29 Oct 03 - 12:00 AM
Cluin 29 Oct 03 - 12:03 AM
The Fooles Troupe 29 Oct 03 - 01:29 AM
Rustic Rebel 29 Oct 03 - 03:21 AM
JennyO 29 Oct 03 - 09:42 AM
Clean Supper 29 Oct 03 - 10:54 AM
Bardford 29 Oct 03 - 11:21 AM
GUEST,petr 29 Oct 03 - 04:08 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 03 - 06:04 PM
Bill D 29 Oct 03 - 06:49 PM
LadyJean 30 Oct 03 - 12:21 AM
katlaughing 30 Oct 03 - 12:54 AM
The Fooles Troupe 30 Oct 03 - 01:26 AM
Steve Parkes 30 Oct 03 - 04:23 AM
C-flat 30 Oct 03 - 04:37 AM
HuwG 30 Oct 03 - 05:19 AM
Sandra in Sydney 30 Oct 03 - 07:23 AM
GUEST 30 Oct 03 - 08:10 AM
The Barden of England 30 Oct 03 - 11:06 AM
Bill D 30 Oct 03 - 05:01 PM
katlaughing 31 Oct 03 - 04:22 PM
Cllr 31 Oct 03 - 07:07 PM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 01 Nov 03 - 03:39 PM
Hrothgar 01 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM
Peace 02 Nov 03 - 01:01 AM
GUEST,Crystal 02 Nov 03 - 09:14 AM
Leadfingers 02 Nov 03 - 10:53 AM
The Fooles Troupe 02 Nov 03 - 09:59 PM
Helen 03 Nov 03 - 06:30 AM
Mooh 03 Nov 03 - 07:03 AM
wilbyhillbilly 03 Nov 03 - 11:56 AM
Bardford 03 Nov 03 - 03:28 PM
ard mhacha 04 Nov 03 - 03:34 AM
ard mhacha 04 Nov 03 - 03:38 AM
cyder_drinker 04 Nov 03 - 01:54 PM
Joe_F 04 Nov 03 - 07:12 PM
thehiker 05 Nov 03 - 03:59 PM
Rog Peek 30 Oct 07 - 10:39 AM
bubblyrat 30 Oct 07 - 12:31 PM
KB in Iowa 30 Oct 07 - 01:12 PM
GUEST,Neil D 30 Oct 07 - 01:42 PM
TheSnail 30 Oct 07 - 02:10 PM
GUEST,Slag 30 Oct 07 - 02:18 PM
GUEST,strad 31 Oct 07 - 09:26 AM
George Papavgeris 31 Oct 07 - 10:21 AM
GUEST,Jonny Sunshine 31 Oct 07 - 05:53 PM
MGM·Lion 20 Nov 12 - 03:30 AM
Dave Hanson 20 Nov 12 - 03:47 AM
Nigel Parsons 20 Nov 12 - 05:30 AM
Jack Campin 20 Nov 12 - 07:20 AM
Bobert 20 Nov 12 - 08:59 AM
Little Hawk 20 Nov 12 - 11:40 AM
GUEST,,gargoyle 20 Nov 12 - 05:02 PM
Bobert 20 Nov 12 - 07:12 PM
Bill D 20 Nov 12 - 08:13 PM
Joe_F 20 Nov 12 - 08:54 PM
number 6 20 Nov 12 - 10:29 PM
Pete Jennings 21 Nov 12 - 12:38 PM
keberoxu 18 Jun 18 - 01:26 PM
Senoufou 18 Jun 18 - 01:48 PM
Steve Shaw 18 Jun 18 - 05:42 PM
Joe_F 18 Jun 18 - 08:39 PM
Steve Shaw 19 Jun 18 - 04:58 AM
Jim Carroll 19 Jun 18 - 06:14 AM
Nigel Parsons 19 Jun 18 - 06:22 AM
vectis 20 Jun 18 - 06:10 AM
Jim Carroll 20 Jun 18 - 08:22 AM
Joe_F 22 Jun 18 - 06:10 PM
Senoufou 23 Jun 18 - 03:39 AM
fat B****rd 23 Jun 18 - 03:59 AM
Raedwulf 23 Jun 18 - 04:35 AM
fat B****rd 23 Jun 18 - 08:48 AM
Dave the Gnome 23 Jun 18 - 02:07 PM
Dave the Gnome 23 Jun 18 - 02:13 PM
Mr Red 25 Jun 18 - 04:15 AM
Steve Shaw 25 Jun 18 - 04:44 AM
Mr Red 28 Jun 18 - 03:03 AM
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Subject: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Fiolar
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 09:07 AM

'Catters may remember some years ago about a well known brand of vodka that had an advertising campaign with the words - "I thought ..... was ..... until I tasted ..... Vodka." I recall a classic graffiti on the walls of one pub's gents which went as follows: "I thought Wan King was a city in China, until I tasted ...... Vodka." Another classic (cleaned up a bit) was "It's no good standing on the seat; The Crabs in here can jump six feet." "Crabs" by the way in this context does not mean the shellfish variety but the slang name for "lice."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 10:35 AM

"I thought Wan King was a city in China,"

*grin*..a lot of American will say "huh?" to that, just as they don't understand the cultural place of "loo" and "knickers" etc....

I DO remember a graffiti from the Methodist Student Union at the U. of Kansas that asked: "Can a metaphysican be sued for malpractice?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 02:18 PM

My favourite, allegedly written on a ladies toilet door:-
My mother made me a lesbian.

Written underneath & in a different hand:-
If I send her the wool, will she make me one, too.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: curmudgeon
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 02:22 PM

I've heard that one as "homosexual," supposedly from NY.

One I did personally encounter at the Lion's Head in Greenwich Village, "If Cunard Lines merged with Aer Lingus, it would be called ..."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: mack/misophist
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 03:25 PM

The first bit of graffiti I ever laughed at was on the men's room wall at a san francisco retail store. "Krishna Saves".

There's also a local artist who's done a series of 'signs' that, although not graffiti, are worth mentioning. His standard format is the black and white highway information sign, done huge. Three stories high, pointing up 'SKY'; 75 feet across, pointing at a large tree 'ONE TREE'. It's better in person.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:13 PM

At university above the toilet roll dispenser
"Sociology degrees, please take one"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:14 PM

TOX03

Don't ask me but it seems to amuse somebody who travels the Metropolitan Line.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:15 PM

The first graffiti I ever saw, in NYC in the 1960s, is still one of the best: Support Mental Health or I'll Kill You.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:27 PM

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 05:11 PM

How about

"The meek don't want it"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 05:34 PM

Above the urinal:

"What are you looking here for? The joke is in your hand."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 06:35 PM

http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/bushagenda.jpg


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 08:01 PM

The content wasn't important although it was quite good, but the greatest piece of bathroom literature I ever saw was in the Men's first floor restroom, stall adjoining the wall, of Draper Building at Berea College in 1967.

Imagine if you will..............

The wall is multi-shades of green ceramic tiles measuring about 1 inch by 2 inches. The grout gap measures maybe an eighth of an inch and the wall is about 6 foot long (in the stall) and goes to the ceiling, about 12 feet. Graffiti covers all of the GROUT, every tiny bit of it....none on the tiles..... and extends the height and width of the wall. The lettering is incredibly neat and completely legible...a beautiful job! It was a true work of art and I wondered who the hell had done it and what an incredible amount of time it took to do! I mean what the hell, this was college and there was an incredible amount of time to waste.....

It remained there all the time I was there as if even the janitors and administration people found it to be a work of art as well.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: curmudgeon
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 08:47 PM

But what did it say?


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: LadyJean
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 12:00 AM

The Professor Shit List occupies three whole walls of the laundryroom at Hoover House at Ohio University. Most of those on the list have since retired but they've gained a sort of immortality on the laundryroom walls.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Cluin
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 12:03 AM

"No matter how hot she is, there's a guy somewhere who's sick of putting up with her crap."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 01:29 AM

"Jesus Saves - The Devil Invests"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 03:21 AM

I see graffiti all I can think of is this....


Graffiti Limbo
Written by Michelle Shocked
Lay down your burdens
Lay down your cares
The Holy Virgin, she's gonna greet you up there
With a big can of spray paint, yeah
And a big blank wall
And I can guaran-damn-tee you
There ain't no cops around at all

Graffiti Limbo
Where do you go?
Graffiti Limbo
When there ain't no justice

I only speak for myself
But the word around town
Is that something's shaking, yeah
In the underground
I only speak for myself
But the word on the street
Is that the writing's on the wall, yeah
And the cop's on the beat

Graffiti Limbo
Where do you go?
Graffiti Limbo
When there ain't no justice

Peace, Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 09:42 AM

In big writing on a wall -

"Jesus Saves"

and underneath, in smaller writing -

"...at the Commonwealth Bank"



"I hate graffiti - in fact I hate all Italians!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Clean Supper
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 10:54 AM

On one particualar anniversary of an event in the life of Che Guavara, the young socialists in Sydney had a spate of painting "Che Lives" on walls everywhere. A fruiterer got some paint and changed the one by his shop to read "Cheap Olives".

On a toilet wall in a pub in Redfern, one that made me laugh for no very good reason was
Fuck
Shit
Bum
Piss
Wank

On the toilet wall in the loo by the physics building at Sudney Uni
Work=Fd
F=ma
Therefore work is mad


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bardford
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 11:21 AM

Signs on a boarded-up construction site in London read: "Bill posters will be prosecuted"

Underneath, in felt pen: "Bill Posters is Innocent"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 04:08 PM

Jesus saves,
the mongol hordes.

Gretzky shoots..
Jesus saves..


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 06:04 PM

Seen in a latrine in the Army:

Flush twice, it's a long way to the messhall.


Written on the ceiling over a urinal in college:

Congratulations! You are now pissing down your leg!


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 06:49 PM

in a men's room, right after the walls were re-painted to cover the graffiti..."tabula not-so-rasa"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: LadyJean
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:21 AM

As a very naive teenager I went to Highland Dancing camp at Lees Macrae College, in Banner Elk North Carolina. We used a boys dorm. It took me the longest time to figure out what those toilet things on the bathroom wall were, and I was in college before I understood what "This is a teepee of shit and peepee, not a wigwam to beat your tom tom meat on." meant. Someone had written it on the wall of one of the stalls. I am afflicted with a better than usual memory, especially for things that rhyme.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:54 AM

I am really enjoying reading these!


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 01:26 AM

There was an Australian Play - the ABC did a Radio version of it and I was involved with a group doing it at one stage - called "Bill Stickers will be prosecuted"

Ok these two aren;t specifically grafitti, were clever anyway...

There was a Scuba Diving shop in Toowoong called "Come Diving"...

and a hamburger shop near the Enoggers Army base called
"The Taik Hawaii" (say it out loud with an Aussie nasal whine)...

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 04:23 AM

In Oakengates, England, in the early 60s ...

Graffitist #1:
I leap with glee, I jump for joy,
I was here before Kilroy!

Graffitist #2:
Sorry to spoil your little joke,
I was here, but my pencil broke.
Kilroy

Graffitist #3:
While you are reading this you are piddling on your shoes


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: C-flat
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 04:37 AM

From the brilliant book "Graffiti II" by Nigel Rees, 1980 Unwin Paperbacks, London.

In the beginning was the word. And the word was Aardvark.

I couldn't care less about apathy.

If you see an unattended bag --- go up and talk to her.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

Men call us birds. Is that why we pick up worms?

Bisexual man, aged 30, seeks married couple.

Someday my boat will come in - and with my luck I'll be at the airport.

Blessed Mary, we believe that without sin thou did conceive.
Holy Virgin, thus believing, may we sin without conceiving?

Bo Peep did it for the insurance.


"British Rail advise that the thus right of way is not dedicated to the public."
--- neither is British Rail

Come the revolution, British rail will be the first to go --- if they arrive on time.

Jesus shaves. (on Gillette ad)

Chelsea are magic. Watch them disappear from the First Division.

Constipation is the thief of time. Diarrhoea waits for no man.

Save fuel. Get cremated with a friend.

Nationalise crime and make sure it doesn't pay.

George Davis is innos (scratched out) innoss (again scratched out) guilty.

Keep death off the roads. Drive on the pavement.

Death is hereditary.

Graffiti should be obscene and not heard.

Easter is cancelled this year. They've found the body.

So is Christmas. They've found the father.

Avoid the end-of-year rush --- fail your exams now.

I have nothing no declare but my genes.

If you feel strongly about graffiti, sign a partition.

God made animals, great and small.
Some that slither and some that crawl.
The Rochester police employ them all.

The hangman let us down.

Let's keep incest in the family.

"Due to industrial action this toilet will be closed all day on Monday."
--- please do all you can today.

My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.

How Labour will cope. (notice on election poster)
--- Next week: how to nail jelly to the ceiling.

I wanted to be a judge but they found out that my parents were married. (found in a jail cell)

Definition of a lecture: a means of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the student without passing through the minds of either. (found at Warwick University)

"80% of Bishops take The Times."
--- The other 20% buy it.

He may have hairs on his chest but, sister, so has Lassie.

Richard the Lionheart is alive and well and asking Christian Barnard for his money back.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

"The first three minutes of life are the most dangerous." (notice in hospital)
--- The last three minutes can be pretty dodgy too.

"Do not use lift in case of fire."
--- just jump.

"Warning: passengers are requested not to cross the lines." (at railway station)
--- it takes hours to untangle them afterwards.

Lions 7, Christians 0.

Until I discovered women, I thought love was a pain up the arse.

"Make love not war."
--- I'm married. I do both.

Lord Lucan was here.
--- No, I wasn't.

Designed by computer.
Silenced by laser.
Built by robot. (Fiat ad)
--- Driven by moron.

Monkey is the route to all people.

Free Collective Bargaining -- he's innocent.

Mickey Mouse is a rat.

I've half a mind to join the National Front. That's all I'll need.

God is not dead. Merely out to lunch.

"Nothing acts faster than anadin."
--- then take nothing instead

Oral sex is a matter of taste.

Where is Lee Harvey Oswald now that his country needs him? (during Watergate)

Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the perfomance. (in gents' loo)

"A phone call. It costs less than you think."
--- Pretty soon it will cost more than you believe.

How do you tell the sex of a chromosome? By taking down its genes.

The only safe fast breeder is a rabbit. Say No to nuclear power.

Reincarnation is making a comeback.
-- over my dead body.

"In 1066, near this church, the Normans landed and were repelled by the men of Romney." (on notice, Romney parish church)
--- So am I

"There's a shortage of girls at Oxford."
--- I don't care how short they are, there just aren't enough of them.

It begins when you sink into his arms and ends with your arms in his sink.

Smile, they said, life could be worse. So I did, and it was.

"Found: one pair of glasses."
--- please write larger, I've lost my glasses.

"The Rev Charles Spurgeon departed for heaven at 6.30 am today."
--- 10.45 am. Not yet arrived. Getting anxious. Peter.

Don't flatter yourself. Stand closer. (in gents' toilet)

Ignore this sign.

"Please don't write on walls."
--- You want maybe we should type?

"Margaret Thatcher should be P.M."
--- Yes, Permanently Muzzled.

Never mind the Titanic, is there any news of the iceberg?

Owing to lack of interest, tomorrow has been cancelled.

Racism is a pigment of the imagination.

May all your ups and downs be in bed.

Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the biggest son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

But for venetian blinds it would be curtains for all of us.

Schrodinger rules the waves.

"Free Women."
--- where?

Can we have a new wall? (at foot of graffiti-strewn wall)


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: HuwG
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 05:19 AM

University College, Cardiff, late 1970's. To the sign in the gents' toilet which read, "Please do not drop cigarettes into the urinals", wags appended, "It makes them soggy and difficult to light again"

On condom machines in various pub toilets:

"This chewing gum tastes awful"
"Buy me and stop one"
"Not to be consumed on the premises"
"Retreaded for extra grip in the wet"
Ahem... Sorry about that one, ladies
"This machine is NOT the one for drying your hands"


And my favourite from Mr. Rees:

"To be is to do - Descartes"
"To do is to be - Sartre"
"Do be do be do - Sinatra"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 07:23 AM

Something I saw painted on a boulder in 1976 & have never forgotten & still puzzle over

JOE 14
PAY UP

One night around the same time we were sitting in our favourite pub watching a Phillipino writing on the wall of the Phillipine Consulate across the street. He was using a tin of white paint & a brush & very carefully wiping the brush on the tin as he neatly painted MARCOS IS on the wall.

2 punks approached & spoke to him. He handed the brush to them & they scrawled some obscenity across the wall, without wiping the brush so the paint ran. When they handed back the brush he carefully completed his message and all the world could read MARCOS IS A BAD MAN.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 08:10 AM

Avorgado has EVERYONE'S number.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Barden of England
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:06 AM

'Jesus is coming - - - Look busy!'


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 05:01 PM

"Peanut Butter & jelly sandwiches are insoluble in gasoline"

same Methodist Student Union at U. of Kansas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 04:22 PM

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get shitty ideas from.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Cllr
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 07:07 PM

Someone wrote on a lavatory wall "I'm 8 inches long and three inches wide" to which someone added "I'm interested. How big is your dick?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 03:39 PM

About twenty years ago I went into a Kent pub, where the landlord had painted every surface in the loo with anti graffiti paint. In one corner of the window frame, carved into the surface, was the comment "Killjoy was here".


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM

Back in the 1970s, when Frank Sinatra was making his "Blue Eyes Is Back" tour of Australia, he ran into trouble with the unions, and had a black ban placed on him which, until it was lifted, precluded just about anything he wanted to do, including leave Australia.

Some punster/graffitist wrote on a wall at Strathfield railway station:

OLD BLUE EYES GOT BLACKED.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Peace
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 01:01 AM

I like grils. Someone came along, scratched out grils and wrote girls. A third party came along and wrote "But what about us grils?"

The worst I've encountered has to be the following:    Lifes short dont waist it    Four errors of punctuation and a spelling mistake in a five-word piece of writing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Crystal
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 09:14 AM

There was a singularly beutiful piece of grafitti which I saw on a wall surrounding a singularly horrible piece of waste ground. No words, just pictures (flowers, sunshine people etc) All in beutiful colours, I wasn't sure if it was a mural or just grafitti but the council painted over it the next week so I suspect the latter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 10:53 AM

I remember the Star Trek graffiti from the seventies like ' Stardate August 1978 - Beamed down for a slash but couldnt shake off the Klingons'

And an adition the the My Mother Made Me graffito :- If she knits purl and plain can I have Pearl??


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 09:59 PM

Crystal,
it has now been recognised that having a wall sych as that painted to look nice by the local community often tends to slow down the rate at which it is covered with graffitti - but once it starts, if not removed, then its use as a place fo graffitti gradually becomes "accepted"

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Helen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 06:30 AM

Oedipus, ring* your Mum.

      Over my dead body,
                (signed) Dad

* And in case you don't get the joke: in Oz the word "ring" can mean "have sex with", although the term is a bit outdated now.

Helen


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Mooh
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 07:03 AM

"The girls don't mind that I only have three inches. They seem to like it that wide." In a Windsor union hall.

"Eat shit, get napkin here." Above the toilet paper in a high school loo.

Mooh.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: wilbyhillbilly
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 11:56 AM

From THE GRAFFITI FILE by Nigel Rees 1981 (George Allen and Unwin Publishers)



Be Alert- Your Country needs LERTS

Buy Blitish. (On the wall of a Datsun Distributor, UK)

Drink wet cement and get really stoned

Sexual intercourse after death
Is this what is meant by getting laid in your grave?

Dyslexia lures. KO

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Jesus Saves.
Save yourself, Jesus is tired.

Texans are living proof that Indians screwed buffaloes.

Help the Police. Beat yourself up.

Kindly refrain from writing on my rocks. Thank you. Signed GOD.
(in six feet high letters on granite rocks by remote desert road
in Western Australia)

Little Red Riding Hood is a Russian contraceptive.


These are just a few of hundreds in this book.

Wilby


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bardford
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 03:28 PM

Next to a crudely spraypainted pentagram on an inside wall of an abandoned house: "SATIN LIVES"

This one is my all time favourite: on the men's room wall at the tourist centre in a Vancouver Island town (Chemainous?) where environmentalism and logging are obviously maintaining a delicate balance: " Tree huger should die."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: ard mhacha
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 03:34 AM

Keep them coming, this wall is in to it`s second edition. Ard Mhacha.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: ard mhacha
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 03:38 AM

On a few Toilet walls, Happy New Year to all our new readers. Ard Mhacha.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: cyder_drinker
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 01:54 PM

On the cardboard tube inside the toilet roll, under the last sheet:

"Now you're bolloxed"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 07:12 PM

Perhaps most conducive to contemplation appropriate to the locale:

"Assholes have their uses."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: thehiker
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 03:59 PM

Support Graffitti Artists Sign A Partition.
Seen In A Gents Toilet Cubicle:
For The Rules Of Toilet Tennis See Opposite Wall
And On Opposite Wall
For The Rules Of Toilet Tennis See Opposite Wall
Seen In A Gents Toilet
If You Are Reading This You Are Leaning At An Angle Of 27 Degrees


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Rog Peek
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 10:39 AM

Two gems seen on toilet walls:

"If winners never quit, and quitters never win, how in the hell can you quit while you're ahead?"

"The body is fragile, keep it out of uniform!"

Rog


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: bubblyrat
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 12:31 PM

Sorry if they"re here already ( Can"t be arsed to read the lot ), but two of my favourites are ;

             " I"d Give My Right Arm To Be Ambidexterous " ,
      
                     And ;

               " Where Ignorance Predominates, Vulgarity Invariably Asserts Itsself "......


   If you have encountered either or both of these in the Gents Toilet of The Beehive, Carterton ,near RAF Brize Norton, then it was me wot dun it !!

    The Other Rog


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 01:12 PM

Please don't eat the urinal cakes


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 01:42 PM

My dogma got run over by a karma


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: TheSnail
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 02:10 PM

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 30 Oct 07 - 02:18 PM

Many years ago, traveling south on Highway 99 from Bakersfield toward Los Angeles there was an old abandon building off to the west as you began up the grade of the Ridge Route (the Grape Vine). Someone had painted in large letters "Jesus Saves". And so it was for many years. Then one day as I was headed over the Ridge and happened to glance toward said fixture I ntoice that someone had painted below the original lettering "...Green Stamps". I hope some of you are old enough to remember what Green Stamps were.

Slag


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,strad
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 09:26 AM

One that stuck in my mind for some reason - in a gents cubicle of Bristol Reference Library - "Verbalise your pre-orgasmic tension"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:21 AM

That's from a song by the Gasworks, Guest,strad, a duo from Lancashire, I believe. If memory serves, the chorus goes:

Verbalise your pre-orgasmic tension,
Whisper dirty things into my ear.
Please afford me proof of your intentions,
Say those three short words I long to hear: (drop 'em blossom) For
I'm so insecure I need your constant reassurance.
You're the only cure, so please don't tax my endurance.
And cure is so much nicer than prevention,
So verbalise your pre-orgasmic tension.

Verbalise your pre-orgasmic tension,
Whisper dirty things into my ear.
Please afford me proof of your intentions,
Say those three short words I long to hear. For
I ain't heard a dirty word since 69 BC;
Now I long to hear each little obscenity.
And cure is so much nicer than prevention,
So verbalise your pre-orgasmic tension.

(copyright by John Brown & Mike Draper - aka "Gasworks")

Sheesh - the things one commits to memory!


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 05:53 PM

Not especially funny, but extremely well-placed was the graffiti on a fence to one side of the M40 on the way into London, with the words, in huge letters "why do I still do this every day" for the benefit of commuters stuck in the traffic. It was there for years, but appears to have been painted over recently


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 03:30 AM

One I recall from army days in early 1950s ~~

A man's ambition must be very small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

~Michael~


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 03:47 AM

Jesus saves.............but Rooney scores on the rebound.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 05:30 AM

"Stand closer, it's shorter than you think"

"This is where the big knobs hang out"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 07:20 AM

The most intellectual piece of graffiti I've seen was drawn three feet high along the full length of the wall of a block of flats in Üsküdar, across the Bosphorus from Istanbul. Advanced high school or undergraduate organic chemistry reaction diagrams. I think it was documenting the Grignard reaction. The only explanation I could think of was that somebody in the block opposite was using it as a revision aid.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 08:59 AM

Back when I was in college at VCU I discovered, quite by accident, a "one-holer" in the basement of the old administration building... I kinda thought of it as my own private bathroom 'cause no-one, or so I thought, knew about it...

This was around the time that Richard Pryor had that unfortunate accident with fire and got badly burned with some kinda illegeal activity and his PR people concocted a story that he was drinking rum and it caught on fire... Yeah, right???

So I wrote on the door of the stall, "Richard Pryor gets lit on rum"...

About a week later I was making a visit to my personal, or so I thought, bathroom only to discover that right under my comment someone had written, "That's base!"...

So I took out my felt tip and wrote under that comment, "Free Base?"...

That's about as far as that thread went and those 3 comments/graffiti contributions may and probably are still there... I've often wondered if some kid later found what he or she thought was their own personal privy and wondered, "Who is is Richard Pryor?"...

LOL...

B;~)


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 11:40 AM

On an alley wall in Toronto: CASTRATE RAPISTS!

A few feet to the right of it and slightly down: RAPE CASTRATORS!

On a washroom wall outside Schomberg (small Ontario town): FAT FAGS OF SCHOMBERG UNITE!

Below that: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR INNOCENCE


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,,gargoyle
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 05:02 PM



Those who write on outhouse walls...


Roll their sh!t in lttle balls.


Those who read these words of wit....


Eat those little balls of sh!t....





Sincerely,
Gargoyle

dozens more where that came from.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 07:12 PM

My favorite graffiti is the art on the sides of box cars... I almost don't mind getting stopped for a long train as long as I have a good vi3ew of the art rollin' by in front of me...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 08:13 PM

In a pub in Lawrence, Kansas, a woman came out of the ladies room with a puzzled look. She explained that on the inside of the door, facing those seated, was this curious bit of graffiti:

"I usually don't write on toilet walls,but in this case I'll make an exception."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 08:54 PM

To shithouse artists when they die,
We'll build it long & wide & high,
In tribute to their mirth and wit --
A monument of solid shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Nov 12 - 10:29 PM

seen in Lisbon ...

   why we work

biLL


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 21 Nov 12 - 12:38 PM

Seen written neatly under the street sign name "St. John's Close": Well I can't see him!


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jun 18 - 01:26 PM

Unable to forget the racist graffito [singular of graffiti]
scrawled in caps on a wall
in downtown Granada, Andalucía, España:


(starts with upside-down exclamation point, I don't know that code)
QUÉ   << JÓDIO >>   ES

VIVIR

BAJO EL JÚDIO !


(after five hundred years,
one still doesn't know better)


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Senoufou
Date: 18 Jun 18 - 01:48 PM

Seen at the ferry port:-

'Harwich for the Continent'

underneath which someone had written:-

'Frinton for the Incontinent'


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 18 Jun 18 - 05:42 PM

Gents toilet wall graffiti down the years:

"It's no use standing on the seat
The germs round here can jump six feet"

"Seven-Up is good for you - ask Snow White"

"Linda Lovelace has the nicest teeth I've ever come across"

(Imperial College toilet wall, 1969): "Shit hard - it's a long way to the refectory"

(Ratagan youth hostel gents, 1975): "Economy drive - please use both sides of the paper"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Jun 18 - 08:39 PM

Assholes have their uses.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 19 Jun 18 - 04:58 AM

Another Imperial College bog-wall one I've just remembered:

"Eat shit - 150,000,000 flies can't be wrong"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 19 Jun 18 - 06:14 AM

"Those who write on outhouse walls..."

Liverpool version

When you use these marble halls
Use the paper, not the walls,
If no paper can be found
Rub your arse along the ground
If that still no do the trick
Wipe your ares upon a brick

Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Jun 18 - 06:22 AM

"While you're in these marbled halls,
Write on paper, not the walls"

"If of paper there's no bit,
Please remember not to . . ."


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: vectis
Date: 20 Jun 18 - 06:10 AM

On a demolition site on adjoining toilets that had been outhouses in someone's back yard

It's no good standing on the seat
the crabs in here can jump six feet
and if you think that's rather high
try next door, the b*st*rds fly.

And next door read:

In this place of rest
we do our best
to keep it clean and sweet
so God bless your soul
and sh*t down the hole
and not upon the seat.

My Dad's favourite was on a particulary heavily written upon wall.

One would think with all this wit
That Shakespear's ghost came here to s*it.

And as George P said, isn't it weird what one's memory retains?


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 20 Jun 18 - 08:22 AM

A historical one based on the popular mid-19 century popular song, 'I Dreamt that I Dwelt in Marble Halls' (from my mother's youth - seen in a ladies lavatory in New Brighton)

I dreamed I was tickling my old feller's feet
With a glass of sweet oil and a feather.
The more that I tickled, the louder he laughed
Till the cheeks of his arse flapped together
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Jun 18 - 06:10 PM

Lewis Carroll, IIRC, parodied "I dreamt I dwelt..." as follows:

I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And each damp thing that creeps and crawls
Went wibble-wabble on the walls.

A long time ago I heard:

Last night I tickled my grandfather's balls
With oil on the end of a feather,
But what seemed to please the old gentleman most
Was knocking them gently together....
Cetera desunt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Jun 18 - 03:39 AM

On a very sad note, three lads were creating a graffiti mural in a dangerous place beside a railway line at Loughborough Junction, London.
A train killed all three in a horrifying incident.
They were in their twenties.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 23 Jun 18 - 03:59 AM

I seem to recall a road sign on the A16 near Boston in Lincolnshire. BLIND PEOPLE.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 23 Jun 18 - 04:35 AM

Some years back there were two or three (or more) paperbacks released of (alleged) amusing graffiti. The one that stuck in my mind was the tale of a gent's urinal somewhere that had the graffiti painted over. On the now pristine wall, someone drew three columns labelled "Sport" "Politics" "Sex".

The next bloke wrote underneath "Up the Reds", "Up the Reds", "Up the Reds"...


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 23 Jun 18 - 08:48 AM

Oops! Wrong thread Charlie.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Jun 18 - 02:07 PM

Duke of York, Eccles. Probably late 70s. I suspect the person mentioned and responding is a poster on here :-)

Nick shags sheep

Well, I'm Nick and I only shag good looking sheep

I'm a sheep and I only shag good looking Nicks

I'm a shepherd and while I have been reading this someone has nicked all my shagging sheep...


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Jun 18 - 02:13 PM

And just remembered another favourite. Not so much graffiti as constructive vandalism. Some card keeps removing the 'C' and the 'S' from 'Canal Street' in the gay quarter of Manchester!


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:15 AM

In West Bromwich there is a road called Pennyhill Lane and in the 60s
, no matter how many times the council painted it out, it got tagged to make the P look like a B.

FIWI I have web page of a collection of graffiti seen in my area.

graffiti.stroudvoices.co.uk mostly graphical, rather than textual.


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:44 AM

On a wayside pulpit in Liverpool which read "What would you do if Jesus came to Liverpool?" Someone had scrawled underneath "Move Ian St John to inside-left"


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Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 03:03 AM

two I like

a jar of Brexite & Brexshit


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