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BS: A message from the thread police

Roger the Skiffler 27 Aug 03 - 10:16 AM
Amos 27 Aug 03 - 10:23 AM
jimmyt 27 Aug 03 - 10:23 AM
wysiwyg 27 Aug 03 - 10:25 AM
John MacKenzie 27 Aug 03 - 01:08 PM
GUEST,pdq 27 Aug 03 - 01:17 PM
jimmyt 27 Aug 03 - 01:35 PM
GUEST,pdq 27 Aug 03 - 01:48 PM
Bev and Jerry 27 Aug 03 - 02:42 PM
jimmyt 27 Aug 03 - 03:18 PM
Bev and Jerry 27 Aug 03 - 03:28 PM
artbrooks 27 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM
GUEST,Kate (Dead Horse's Wife) 28 Aug 03 - 05:07 AM
John MacKenzie 28 Aug 03 - 05:20 AM
Hrothgar 28 Aug 03 - 06:24 AM
Gurney 28 Aug 03 - 06:56 AM
Gurney 28 Aug 03 - 06:59 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 03 - 08:34 AM
Sandra in Sydney 28 Aug 03 - 08:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 03 - 11:15 AM
Lyrical Lady 28 Aug 03 - 11:30 AM
John MacKenzie 28 Aug 03 - 01:47 PM
ToulouseCruise 28 Aug 03 - 02:40 PM
annamill 28 Aug 03 - 02:48 PM
jimmyt 28 Aug 03 - 02:57 PM
jimmyt 28 Aug 03 - 03:04 PM
Amos 28 Aug 03 - 04:03 PM
M.Ted 28 Aug 03 - 04:46 PM
jimmyt 28 Aug 03 - 05:00 PM
SINSULL 28 Aug 03 - 10:04 PM
jimmyt 28 Aug 03 - 10:13 PM
LadyJean 28 Aug 03 - 10:14 PM
jimmyt 28 Aug 03 - 11:02 PM
JennieG 29 Aug 03 - 03:37 AM
Roger the Skiffler 29 Aug 03 - 03:43 AM
Joe Offer 29 Aug 03 - 03:47 AM
GUEST 29 Aug 03 - 04:12 AM
EBarnacle1 29 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM
artbrooks 29 Aug 03 - 12:11 PM
Amos 29 Aug 03 - 12:26 PM
EBarnacle1 29 Aug 03 - 01:47 PM
artbrooks 29 Aug 03 - 07:09 PM
Amos 29 Aug 03 - 08:29 PM
Lyrical Lady 30 Aug 03 - 12:28 AM
GUEST,pdq 30 Aug 03 - 12:41 AM
C-flat 30 Aug 03 - 05:56 AM
gnu 30 Aug 03 - 06:40 AM
Amos 30 Aug 03 - 09:37 AM
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Subject: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:16 AM

It has come to our attention that the term "doo-wop style" has been used on your Forum.
I am sure you are aware of our policing of the internet to weed out terms of mass destruction that might undermine God, Mom, Apple pie and the American Way.
1)Too many children are using slang terms for bodily functions. Fist "doo" and then "ploppies", before we know it they will be saying "cr*p" and "sh*t" or worse. In future, use the term "faeces".
2)"Wop", is a term most Italian-Americans find extremely offensive, and despite denying all common cultural stereotypes, a couple of Family friends will be calling on you soon to reinforce our dislike.

So, in future, "Blue Moon" is to be sung by the Drifters and others as "Faeces-Italian-American Style" or not at all.
Sincerely,

A.Jobsworth,
Committee for Internet Security
(PS I hope "BS" doesn't mean what I think it does or I'll have to communicate with you further)

[as told to RtS]


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:23 AM

Dear Mister J:

While we appreciate your threat of communicating with us, we cannot take seriously any message which is incapable of managing correct hyphenation. I suspect there ARE terms of mass destruction on the Internet and commend you for your quest in eliminating. I recommend you immediately launch a full-scale effort to elilminate ther worst of these terms of mass destruction, including "should" "ought" and its variants, and "offensive".

Regards,

A.
Mudcat Secret Underground Committee for the Preservation of Relative Sanity (MSUCPRS)


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:23 AM

Good sound advice, and we would all do well (sorry, I just accidently said"do" again) to heed it ! I for one, will be more judicious with my language and subject in order to avoid the appearance of evil.

Rumor has it that some folks (I will not name any names but Dead HOrse comes to mind) actually post here whilst in the nude.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:25 AM

My relatives will never be sane, nor do I wish it upon anyone!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 01:08 PM

He should be bloody well hung that Dead Horse.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 01:17 PM

jimmyt: No chance that this thread will get too technical!


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 01:35 PM

not a chance!!! I love simple minded non technical stuff.......after all, I am an AMerican!


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 01:48 PM

Where is Fred Miller? If we all chip in we can buy him a whole box of cookies!


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 02:42 PM

Jimmyt:

What, exactly, are you implying by using the word "judicious"?

Are you saying that you think Jus are secretly in control of America? Are you saying that no Jus went to work in the trade center on September 11, 2001? Are you trying to undermine our Christian values?

Remember, Mr. Ashcroft is watching you.

Bev and Jerry


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:18 PM

Mr. Ashcroft is my cousin and I resemble that remark. By the way, if you are still in the IceCream business, could you send me one of those cones with some Moosetracks icecream, or if you are out of it, I will try the Cherry Garcia.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:28 PM

Jmmyt:

We present folk music programs in schools and we once got a thank you note from a kid with a P.S. that said "I like your ice cream, too". We sent it to Ben and Jerry and they sent us some coupons for free ice cream. That's better than actually sending the ice cream. Couldn't find any of that Moosetracks, though.

Bev and Jerry


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: artbrooks
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM

It is clearly obvious that the clarity of this message is apparent.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: GUEST,Kate (Dead Horse's Wife)
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:07 AM

Yes Gioc - He is !


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:20 AM

A lovely tap dancing wife,a big bus,and a cheeky blue cap as well. Some people have all the luck!!
¦¬] *BG*....Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Hrothgar
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 06:24 AM

I thought "judicious" meant that Yiddish people owned all the crockery.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Gurney
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 06:56 AM

Hrothgar, I thought 'Saxon' meant wearing a jute suit.

Sounds like another thread coming up.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Gurney
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 06:59 AM

Maybe a hemp (h)overcoat.


Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 08:34 AM

I don't give a rap about you "thread police." My wife's a quilter and polices her own threads, at least when I don't run the vacuum. Out here in the American West we take care of our own threads and don't need some namby-pamby New World Order United Nations "thread police" to get us to clean up after ourselves when we or our spouses or SOs sew!

So you thread police show up around here and we'll stick all the threads up your mffffltts and ddddnnnnnnntl your dadrnnss and feed them to the cows, y'hear???


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 08:53 AM

us teddy bear makers don't need thread police, either! But a working vacuum (or maybe just the inclination to get it out of the cupboard) would help.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:15 AM

Thread police? Nah! Thread's not a problem. As another husband of a quilter I can state unequivocally that what's needed is straight-pin police. OUCH! OUCH! DAMMIT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO....@%#*$!


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:30 AM

awwwww.... a well hung "Horse" and he's "DEAD"!?!,
I just hate sad threads :-(

LL *BG*


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 01:47 PM

There's always rigor mortis Lyrical Lady. I hear jokes about stiffs coming over the airwaves even as I am typing this!!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 02:40 PM

Rapaire:
Is your "SO" some so-and-so who will sew-and-sew for a song-and-show, threading her best for some Mudcatter's quest till they scream SOS so she'll cease-and-desist? Or is it a significant other?

I think I'll lie down now.

TC


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: annamill
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 02:48 PM

Shhh... should we be saying "Mass Destruction" on the internet????

And, Giok? Did you say Dead Horse was well hung????

This place is getting nasty!

Love, Annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 02:57 PM

Deadhorse may or may not be well-endowed (or endowwed at all for that matter) they don't call him the Rochester Eunich for nothing though..........and with all that gin..........I reckon he is pickled


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 03:04 PM

Dead HOrse's Lament

A gentleman hailing from Kent
Very much did this topic resent
They called him DeadHorse
Well Hung? "Why Of Course!
(Even though it is strikingly bent)!"

anon


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:03 PM

The thread police currenty sitting
Pass remarks not entirely fitting.
Their intrusions and rules
Make them look like such fools,
They should shut up, and stick to their knitting!


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: M.Ted
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:46 PM

For all it matters, "Blue Moon" was done by the Marcels--


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:00 PM

M Ted well Dip ta Dip Ta Dip!!!!!!! GRIN


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:04 PM

I never considered Blue Moon doo-wop. In The Still Of The Night with all the shudupanshobedohs fits the doo-wop profile. Bomp de de bomb and dit di dit de dit just doesn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:13 PM

SAme basic chord structure as in the still of the night with lots of nonsensical lyrics? I vote for do-wop ( or as jerry says Rhythm and blues)


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: LadyJean
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:14 PM

We still have to worry about who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong. If that isn't suggestive, I don't know what is.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: jimmyt
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 11:02 PM

Lady Jean............From your interest, I think you may in fact know!!! YOu could be called in for state's evidence!!


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: JennieG
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 03:37 AM

Thread police? Anything to do with threadworms? As a quilter of long standing (sitting actually) let me just say that I don't need the police to snip my short and curlies.
Cheers
JennieG


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 03:43 AM

I've just received a further correspondence from Mr Jobsworth:
"So now you are mating rams with lamas and putting bells on them to alert people to the spectacle?
My enforcers will be with you shortly...."

RtS
(hiding under the stairs)


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 03:47 AM

Yes, Roger, "BS" means what you think it does - but if you're English, you're supposed to claim that you don't understand it... ;-)
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 04:12 AM

Why not? its a perfectly good Pidgen English term.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM

"Saxon" is the last stage prior to donning shoes.

Bop she bop she bop.

Dead Horse Bay is about a mile from here. How do you make a dead horse bay?


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: artbrooks
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 12:11 PM

Goose...canada or snow works best.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 12:26 PM

No sense goosing a dead horse!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 01:47 PM

Dammit Amos, stop looking for logic. It's the fractures that make it funny.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: artbrooks
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 07:09 PM

You ever been attacked by a mad canada goose? Guaranteed to raise any dead horse around.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 08:29 PM

Well, all right. Just don't bother goosing a dead horse in the mouth.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 12:28 AM

I could be wrong...BUT... I think you make a DeadHorse bay by tap dancing on his tail!!

LL


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 12:41 AM

No, but it may make him sore-ell.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: C-flat
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 05:56 AM

A WORD IN YOUR EAR.

Look out!, Look out!, Thread police are about,
check your grammar and your terminology,
for incorrect use
of a term of abuse
will require a most public apology,

"This really must stop! You cannot sing DOO-WOP!"
"You'll offend our friends Guido and Toni"
cultural stereo-types
are considered "not-nice",
(What type's yours? mine's an ancient Marconi)

There's been talk of "Dead-Horse" (live and well here of course)
"well-hung" although "strikingly bent",
Would he save himself trouble
and put in it double?
we cannot ask, in any event.

So we must be aware of Big-Brother out there
and keep check on the language we're using,
wether "Saxon (then shoes on)"
or English you're using
the Pidgens are listening, beware!

C-flat.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: gnu
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 06:40 AM

Pidgeons, geese, horses... what an imenagerie.


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Subject: RE: BS: A message from the thread police
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 03 - 09:37 AM

O, masterful, C-flat~!

A


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