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BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?

Ebbie 26 Jul 03 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 03 - 11:43 PM
Amos 27 Jul 03 - 12:04 AM
Ebbie 27 Jul 03 - 12:10 AM
Helen 27 Jul 03 - 01:46 AM
Bert 27 Jul 03 - 01:59 AM
Amergin 27 Jul 03 - 02:08 AM
Bert 27 Jul 03 - 02:22 AM
GUEST,Boab D 27 Jul 03 - 04:17 AM
artbrooks 27 Jul 03 - 08:13 AM
kendall 27 Jul 03 - 08:36 AM
LilyFestre 27 Jul 03 - 09:23 AM
Kim C 27 Jul 03 - 09:51 AM
Padre 27 Jul 03 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 03 - 10:34 AM
Sam L 27 Jul 03 - 11:20 AM
Ely 27 Jul 03 - 11:27 AM
Mary in Kentucky 27 Jul 03 - 11:40 AM
Deckman 27 Jul 03 - 11:52 AM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 03 - 12:30 PM
catspaw49 27 Jul 03 - 12:36 PM
catspaw49 27 Jul 03 - 12:41 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 03 - 12:45 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 03 - 12:51 PM
Amos 27 Jul 03 - 03:06 PM
Deckman 27 Jul 03 - 03:16 PM
Amos 27 Jul 03 - 03:25 PM
Sorcha 27 Jul 03 - 03:44 PM
katlaughing 27 Jul 03 - 05:27 PM
GUEST,Boab D 27 Jul 03 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 03 - 05:59 PM
Deckman 27 Jul 03 - 06:52 PM
harvey andrews 27 Jul 03 - 07:08 PM
Sam L 27 Jul 03 - 07:49 PM
Amos 27 Jul 03 - 08:28 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 03 - 09:09 PM
Sorcha 27 Jul 03 - 10:06 PM
Amos 27 Jul 03 - 10:08 PM
Deckman 27 Jul 03 - 11:40 PM
Marion 28 Jul 03 - 01:29 AM
Roger the Skiffler 28 Jul 03 - 03:53 AM
Wilfried Schaum 28 Jul 03 - 04:14 AM
Wilfried Schaum 28 Jul 03 - 04:28 AM
Jerry Rasmussen 28 Jul 03 - 08:40 AM
Deda 28 Jul 03 - 12:57 PM
Amos 28 Jul 03 - 02:10 PM
Deda 28 Jul 03 - 04:53 PM
Chief Chaos 28 Jul 03 - 04:55 PM
Grab 28 Jul 03 - 08:11 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jul 03 - 11:38 PM
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Subject: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Jul 03 - 11:35 PM

The story of meeting one's significant other(s) is often a wondrous tale. Often people report that they knew immediately that this was an important person in their life.

For the record, the man I eventually married first impressed me by being able to 'stand' on one hand, his body straight up. Of course, he was just 11 years old at the time.

I once wrote a song that I called 'The First Time'. There is one verse that goes:

Our lives together were clashes of will
And we finally shook ourselves free
But I remember- and treasure it still-
The first time you smiled on me.

That's the kind of question I am asking. What was that first moment when you KNEW?


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 03 - 11:43 PM

Dunno, really. After a friend and I swapped girls on a ferry, I sort of ended up with the one I married. But I can't say that there was one moment WHEN. We sort of discovered it gradually, I guess. I do know that my proposal was sort of unique: I said, "You'll have to tell me when you want to get married." She said, "Oh, okay" and called my mother to tell her we were going to get married. My mother, who had my sister Martha living with her, announced it by shouting, "Hey, Martha! Pat's pregnant!" That was in, maybe, March. We were married in October of 1973 and have been togther ever since.

Oh, yeah. She wasn't pregnant. Just another one of my Mother's paybacks for all the gray hair we gave her.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:04 AM

We dated for only three weeks before I suggested we stop kidding ourselves and get married. That was some 24 years ago.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:10 AM

Wow, guys. Sounds like it's the male of the species that is romantic.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Helen
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 01:46 AM

My hubby and I met about 20 years ago, but we just used to see each other here and there at parties, have a nice conversation, and then drift off to talk to other people. I always thought he was a nice bloke.

I didn't meet up again with him until a Christmas party in 1996 but we just said hello and didn't really talk much (he was pissed and behaving like a 7 year old with one of his mates...inklings of the future *g*)

About 6 months later we met up again at a pub and had a lovely long chat and I walked away to pack up my harp and other gear, sat down and thought "This is it! This is what I have been waiting for."

After I went back over to talk again he asked me out in a really casual offhand sort of way - but it wasn't long after that that we were full-on serious about each other.

Helen


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Bert
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 01:59 AM

Wow Ebbie, you've gorn an dunnit nah.

It happened the moment I looked into her eyes. I wasn't ready for a relationship. My immediate thought was "OH SHIT". I knew she was the one and the only one for ever - no escape.

Her first words to me were "You're a Motherfucking liar". I proved that I wasn't and she bought me a drink. It cost her the most expensive Scotch in the bar. That was eleven years ago.

You said "I once wrote a song that I called 'The First Time'."

Oh my gawd so did I, here 'tiz.

I remember the first time we met
You let me carry you books
I remember how pretty you looked
I remember the first time we met

Chorus
There's no use regretting the first time
and wishing it never would end
there's no use forgetting the first time
there won't be a first time again.

I remember the first time we danced
around and around on the floor
we danced some more and some more
I remember the first time we danced

I remember the first time we kissed
and how my lips caught on fire
my heart was filled with desire
I remember the first tiome we kissed.

Chorus.

I remember the first time we loved
how closely our bodies entwined
I knew that you'd always be mine
I remember the first time we loved

Chorus

And now every time that we love
it's just like the first time.

I sang it on Mudcat radio at least once, take a look in the archives, towards the end.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amergin
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 02:08 AM

Wll, not married yet...but will be before too long I expect....I met my fiancee at another board about a year ago and we would just talk...and me would mainly be cheeky...and everything...but then the chats got more and more serious....and then she flew over for a month...a very magical month...and I knew then...especially this one night we went out on a dinner cruise up and down the Willamette River...looking in her eyes by the candlelight...and talking and laughing...and drinking a couple of bottles of wine...then later we disembarked...and walked around waterfront park...as I sang to her...I had an idea when I first met her that she was the one...but that night clinched it...


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Bert
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 02:22 AM

Of course the real song about the meeting is here


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: GUEST,Boab D
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 04:17 AM

I had just left the army 4 months previous with the "I'm never going to settle down attitude no one will ever get me" as you do.
I went on my offshore medics course and for some reason I sat next to this lassie it was just a seat to me at the time.Then we started talking and I discovered that she was more than just a lassie she was the lassie. So during the fag breaks we would chat and I just knew that she was the one.We went out for the end of course piss up and her friend came along and I suppose looking back now her friend was trying to trap off with me but I just blanked her as my now fiancee was the only one that I wanted to be with ever.There was no other person who I wanted to be with. There was just that click of I dont know how to describe it but the knowing that you just get like all your ideas and images come into view but only when you think of this one person. Thats all I can say really.
When I started working again after a long lay off the relationship just kept on getting better and better. Now we are engaged to be married next year and to be honest no one else could have done what Lynsey has for me.
So to sum up I think that from the first time we clapped eyes on each other would have been when I knew. I still kid her on that she looked at me with love in her eyes from the first time she saw me funnily enough it was me from the first moment I saw her but she doesnt know that as its my wee secret
Dylan


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: artbrooks
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 08:13 AM

There really was never a question. We met folkdancing...we were next to each other in a line, and she began the dance going one way and I the other. After the resulting body slam (about a hundred pounds difference in our weights, then and now), I invited her out for a cup of coffee. We dated at long distance for the next 2 1/2 years-we were attending different universities, 1500 miles apart, and then I went into the army. I came back from a tour in Korea, went to Pittsburgh where she lived and then we went on to my parents' home in Georgia. My father asked, "well, are you going to get married some day?" I looked at her and said "how about next week?" That was March, 1970.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: kendall
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 08:36 AM

It hasn't happend yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 09:23 AM

It was the day before the start of my senior year in college. For him, it was the day before the start of his freshman year. Traditionally, the college has a big picnic on the quad the day before all classes start....a getting aquainted or re-aquainted kind of thing.

Being the somewhat non-social creature that I am, I squirmed and wiggled every which way to get out of going while my friend was doing her best to talk me into going.

He, being the non-social creature that he is only consented to go to the picnic when his roommate told him it would be the best food he was going to get to eat for the next semester.



My friend and I walked onto the quad and were mingling (a fate worse than death if you ask me) when I turned and caught eyes with the love of my life. I knew right then.

We spent the night talking. He expressed his love for nature, the environment and fishing.....I thought of a nearby lake that is absolutely lovely in the moonlight. We drove there...of course it had clouded over, it was dark as could be and even though I drove right up to the edge of the water, it was barely visable. He still teases me to this day about the lake that isn't there!

Later he told me that he called his mother that very night and told her that he had met the woman he was going to marry. :)

Two months later we were engaged (not to mention inseperable) and 7 months after that, we were married. That was July 13, 1991.   :)


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Kim C
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 09:51 AM

Met by accident and knew right off. Don't know how to explain that. Just had our 13th anniversary.

But that sort of "knowing right off" doesn't just happen with romantic partners. It happens with your friends too. Sometimes you meet someone and right away you have a bond with them. Then you're friends for life.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Padre
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 09:53 AM

We met in a 'management by objectives' (MBO) class taught at the Department of Agriculture Graduate School in DC. Our first date was to go to the Monday night open sing at the Red Fox, hosted by Bruce Hutton [really romantic, huh].

I think Gail knew within a few weeks, but it took me a little longer. We were married about 8 months later, and have been together for 28 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 10:34 AM

Forgot to mention how we met! Sorry.

I was on leave before shipping out to Korea, went into the college library were she was working at the time. While I waited to see my friends who worked there I sat and read a magazine; Pat says she wandered by and told me later that I "was there and acting weird."

After I returned from the service I restarted college almost at once. A day or so before classes were to start I was sitting in the Student Union when a friend asked if I'd like to go to a party that night. Having nothing better to do, I accepted. The party was to celebrate Pat and her roommate being successfully moved to another apartment; I had a couple of beers and left with the roommate, who I had known prior to the service.

One day some weeks later a male friend and I went to the train station to pick up Pat and her roommate, who had been shopping in Chicago. We all went off to get a bite to eat and, while crossing the river on the ferry (the restaurant was some 30 miles upstream) he and I "swapped girls" -- such as it was, as neither or us were actually "going" with either of them.

When I say say the Pat was working at the college library, I mean that she was on the faculty. She's a couple of years older that I am. Every student dates and eventually marries a faculty member, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Sam L
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 11:20 AM

That's true about friends, Kim. I can remember a few people I met and immediately thought, This is somebody I need to know.

We met when I was 17, through one of those immediate friends. Awkwardly, she was living with him. He asked me to play for a theatre group he had, and I remember her walking in the door. I'd go over to eat dinner, and she never seemed to look in my direction. Things were messy, there were hurt feelings all around. He and I stayed friends, but eventually he didn't seem to want to hang around us much. I knew I wanted to be with her, or felt I did, all along.

Our eighteenth anniversary was last week, last night we were up late talking, she was starting to seem fairly sure, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Ely
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 11:27 AM

Hasn't happened. At least, I hope it hasn't happened.

I've got a pathetic romantic history for a twentysomething--I had a boyfriend briefly in college ("Bob"--nothing like his real name). One boyfriend, ever. It didn't work out, mostly because we had very different ideas about what a relationship should be, although he's a great guy (smart, hardworking, funny, kind). My brother was the best man at his wedding and said the whole thing made him sad because he couldn't help thinking that I would have been better for Bob long-term than the girl he married.

I'm sure I'm mostly suffering from One Boyfriend Syndrome, and I wouldn't worry about it so much if he hadn't been the only one who ever showed any interest in me (I'm great at being friends with guys but it never occurs to them to ask me out).


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 11:40 AM

I was to be a dorm advisor my junior year of college. I was really looking forward to living in a private room which only advisors got. When I showed up with all my belongings to move in, the dorm mother informed me that because of overcrowding that year, two advisors on the entire campus would have to share a single-person room. My roomie turned out to be the sister of my now Hubby. I met Hubby on the steps to the dorm since he was helping his sister move in.

The story I later heard was that he was halfway home with his brother (~20 miles away) and turned to him and said, "I'm going back to get a date with her (me). He bopped into the dorm while I was sitting desk duty at the front desk and asked me out. I loved his shoes (be-bops) so of course I said yes.

But the second date was the real clincher. We went for an allday picnic at Natural Bridge (beautiful nature area), and I returned thoroughly "snowed." (The dorm mother later admitted that she thought I was drunk.) I think I "knew" then, but I spent the next 1 1/2 years refusing to get engaged, then another year before getting married.

At 18 I sincerely thought I'd never marry. Then at 23 I was married. It's been 32 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Deckman
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 11:52 AM

Bride Judy amd I met at the farewell hoot for Walt Robertson. I was hosting the hoot and folks came from all over. Judy had met Walt only once but she came with a girlfriend that had known him for many years. During the afternoon and evening of that day, I noticed her, introduced myself and we had a brief but pleasnt chat. After Walt's death three weeks later, Judy's girlfiend suggested that she write me. I was rather taken by her note and suggested that she come over to this side of the mountains for a visit. She did, then I did, then she did, and then we did!. I was certain that I wanted to be with her forever within a month. I'd been single for nine years but Judy had been single for 22 years. It took her longer, but we married six months after we met. It's been a little over 8 years, and I'm still smiling! And Kim C., you are so right. I have made and kept many friends, men and women, that I've known almost instantly I would like to get to know better. My biggest problem now is that almost all my male friends have passed on and now I've got all these lady friends when I'd really like to go fishing with the guys sometime! Oh, well.
CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:30 PM

It hasn't happened, and I don't think it will...in this life. I can't imagine it happening anymore at this point. There were a couple of times I thought that it had happened, but that's what romance is like...it radically changes your perceptions of reality for awhile. The other person seems to be perfect (or nearly so). Even their imperfections seem to have a rare charm which adds spice to the relationship. The whole World seems suddenly wonderful. You gain confidence in both yourself and in life. You feel unstoppable, omnipotent, filled with energy and resolve.

That's the "falling in love" syndrome which happens to most of us at one time or another. A book I read suggested that it's a trick of Nature enabling us to make the initial committments necessary in order to embark on Life's most enormous job...raising a family. Without this trick society might have great trouble functioning.

"Falling in love" does not equal love, however, because falling in love is effortless. It just happens. Love is not effortless in the least...it requires continued hard work even when you don't feel like it at all.

Do people have soulmates? I don't know. I get the impression that some people do, but that others don't (at least in a particular life).

For those of you that do, well, I wish you well. "the holy kiss that's s'posed to last eternity" has not proved to be such in my case, though it does indeed feel holy while it's happening.

(quote is from Dylan's song "Love is just a Four Letter Word".)

I do think that falling in love with Life itself would be a greater thing to do than falling in love with one other human being, but I'm not saying it's easy...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:36 PM

I've told it before here, but here goes again.........

A woman who was on my sales staff came into my office and said, "Pat, how would you like to meet a really nice girl?" I was a little sick and in a moment of weakness, mainly to get this woman out of my office, I said okay. I had quit going on blind dates years before but I was happy just to get Charlene out of the office! The girl she said, was her husband's stepdaughter, nine years younger than mysyelf. I was 36 and more interested in a nice dinner than I was romance.

I met Karen on a Thursday evening and I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, much less a wife. Within 20 minutes I knew that this was the woman I'd spend the rest of my life with. She had about the same feeling and when I went home I called some friends and told them. She designed a wedding dress. Karen told her roommate about me and she said, "I bet he asks you to marry him." Karen protested that I wasn't likely to do so as I was "long-term" single and wore suits to work.

We went to a ballgame on Saturday (she had free tickets-Braves) and then I couldn't see her again til Tuesday. So I sent her some flowers with a note that said "I'm so happy you've come into my life." On Tuesday we were supposed to go watch a movie but I picked her up and said, "We have to talk, ta' hell with the movies." She agreed immediately and we went about talking about the whens and wheres of getting married. We went to a friend's house and I introduced her and we told them we were getting married. Late that night, about 2 AM we stopped in a Denny's for coffee and she reminded me that technically I hadn't proposed to her. I was eating an English muffin at the time and said, "Okay......Not upon a knee, but looking across this table and English muffin.......Will you marry me?" Fortunately she did say yes.........18 years ago. She was 27, I was 36. Karen is absolutely the greatest and best thing that has ever happened to me!


Time elapsed before we both knew--------20 minutes
Time elapsed before actual proposal-------52 hours
Time elapsed before wedding-------------- 5 months

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:41 PM

"Love is not effortless in the least...it requires continued hard work even when you don't feel like it at all."

Sorry Hawk......In our case at least, you could not be more wrong. There are many things in even the best of lives that take great effort and work to sustain. Loving each other isn't one of those things for Karen and I.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:45 PM

Well, I can't help but grin every time I read that heartwarming story, Spaw. You are one lucky son of a gun...or maybe you earned it somehow, somewhere along the line.

I hear about stuff like that and just shake my head. It's almost inconceivable at this point, but it was what I kept expecting to happen when I was from oh, age 16-45. The World is a place of amazing variety and possibilities.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 12:51 PM

Okay, Spaw, I don't mean that loving another person requires effort...you either do or you don't love them...I mean that putting that love into effective action on a daily basis requires effort. Of course, when you do love deeply (anything) the energy is usually there to make the effort.

I guess the way you view marriage could have a lot to do with it. I don't have very good feelings about the institution. I am deeply suspicious of it.   I could tell you more about that, but you aren't my analyst, so I'm not going to... :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 03:06 PM

Well, it isn't effort particularly, any more than breathing is. I suspect you are almost in the right state of mind to be totally bushwhacked, LH, old buddy....after which you'll see what I mean.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Deckman
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 03:16 PM

Hey Littlehawk ... want some phone numbers? Bob


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 03:25 PM

Another "First Meeting" song written for another couple:

 Áine's Air



         The melody to this love song is a slow and measured rendition of Down By The Sally Gardens which lingers between measures,  and would sound fair on a dulcimer and recorder.  Lente, lente.

  
 Down at the city's center fair
 We did first agree to meet
 And as I saw you approaching
 I felt the wind around my feet
 There was sunlight warming in me
 Though the day it had long gone
 When first  your stranger's gentle smile
 I gladly looked  upon.

 Though short our time of meeting
 And long our sharing true,
 Forever and another day,  love
 I will abide with you
 For the earth may turn around us,
 And the moon draw out the sea,
 And in the center, stilly stands
 My own true love, with me.

 Be with me in that center yet
 And take my faithful hand
 And as the green trees slowly grow
 So green we surely stand
 For you are in my deepest heart
 As I, my love, in thine
 And as the green grass roots do grow
 So are our own entwined

 And if the city crumbles, dear
 And the lands do fall beside,
 And if the winds grow ever cold,
 Yet by you I will abide
 For sun and winds I have no need,
 Or city centers fair,
 When aye the quiet heart goes on
 Because that you are there.
 
 
   (To Áine and HB on their anniversary)


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 03:44 PM

In late August my brother and his friends pulled in the drive on their Harley's and asked if I wanted to go get a coke with them. I said Sure, he said, you can ride with Brian. I think I knew by the time we got to the coke shop. Mid November he said, Let's get married. We married in March 29 years ago. Been some rough times, but he is my Last Husband......


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 05:27 PM

Ya never know who's going to do the bushwhacking...could be the guy.:-)

I was a single mom with three little kids starting a new job at a radio station. I was nervous as hell. My sisters had given me a couple of tranquilisers the night before because I was rigid with anxiety. The next day, sitting in my new sales manager's office, listening to her drone on about radio sales which I knew nothing about, I had trouble staying awake.

She finally said we could take a break. I got up, walked down the hall to the hot water and coffee area to make some hot chocolate, thinking I'd stay awake better with some caffeine. By this time I'd already been introduced to everyone, but of course didn't really know any of them.

I was standing there stirring my hot choclate when from across the hall here comes one of the two Rogers I'd met that morning. Next thing I knew, I'd been asked out on a date! I was so surprised I said yes without thinking. When I got back to my desk, though, I was quite intrigued with his boldness.:-)

We went out that next weekend. He took me to dinner and dancing ( he's a GOOD dancer!). We went back to my place and spent the rest of the night talking and watching the sun come up. It was wonderful. I knew I wanted to see more of him and he must've felt the same because he kept asking me out.

About two months later I had to move, unexpectedly. My landlord wanted my house for relatives. I was crying about it to my girlfriend when Rog came over to visit. He acted kind of embarassed to see me crying and I definitely was. Nonetheless, he kind of quietly piped up and said he guessed it'd be alright if the kids, cats, and dog wanted to move out to his ranch with him and his horse. Brave man, never been married, no kids, nada, just a horse.:-)

We moved out there in June 1, 1979. We still hadn't talked too much of marriage or love, partly because our company had a rule against nepotism. By July I'd had to go in for a heart cath and was very ill afterwards. Rog took me away for a weekend to recoup at a fancy resort hotel where he brought me fresh canteloupe for my blood sugar and made sure I got a couple of really good massages, plus took me for a soak in the hot springs. It was that weekend when he first told me that he loved me. Then he showed me his tattoo on his right arm, which is of three beautiful red roses. He said he'd gotten it with the idea of having his soulmate's name tattooed there someday and that he'd like to put my name there. He went on to explain that with his work he could not and would not risk wearing a ring lest he lose a finger, so that was his way of showing committment. That went straight to my heart and I knew I was in love forever.

Of the two Rogers I met that day, I wasn't sure at first which one I'd like to go out with. I didn't find out until later that they were best friends and the other one was gay; to this day he remains one of our very dearest best friends and was one of two witnesses to our marriage the following spring of 1980 after the company told us we'd might as well get married since we were already violating their rule by living together!

It's been tough, fun, sad, lonely, happy, fulfilling and a bunch of other things over the years, but the lessons learned have been lasting and the love is deep and abiding. Like Sorcha, he is my Last Husband, as far as I know and I am grateful for him.

Thanks for asking, Ebbie. Great stories!

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: GUEST,Boab D
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 05:53 PM

I am still in the honeymoon of my relationship with Lynsey and have been for almost two years. It just gets better and better every time we see each other as both of us work away she does 3 weeks on and 3 weeks off and I work as and when required. I think I have seen Lynsey for about 20 days since the end of April this year which isnt a lot. The good thing is getting to know her all over again after being apart for a good while. It gets harder being away everytime, especially when I thought it would get easier but no it is definetly harder.
Even now I still write her poems, send her love letters and every time she comes home I always buy her a bunch of flowers as its something that I have always done so it's a kind of tradition between us.
I also find that the one thing you need is to be the best of friends and we are. I never thought that I could get a new best friend as my best man to be has known me for 25years and he is my best male friend but Lynsey and I are closer than that bond. Isn't that wierd though I mean that amount of time and look what happens in the space of a day. I have heard people mentioning their other half and I used to take it as just a figure of speech but now I know that its a knowing that I wouldnt be complete without her.
As for the one marriage I'm all for that. When I get married it will only be once and for life.

If we are separated from each other by heaven and earth
no one could replace for us what the other is worth

Dylan


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 05:59 PM

Back off, guys! I don't want any phone numbers. There are only a few things that terrify me more than the prospect of getting "bushwhacked" again by some fair maiden... :-)

Let's see...um...nuclear war? Not too likely, so why worry about it? Being destitute? Well, I am working at avoiding that in various ways...so far so good. A painful and debilitating disease? Well, let's hope not. Getting really, really old? Nothing much I can do about that if I don't die young. Blindness? Oooo, that would be nasty. Having my hands chopped off by a milling machine? Again, not too likely. Being torn apart by wild dogs? Highly unlikely. Grizzly bear attack? Well, that's why I don't go hiking in the rockies much with a bunch of raw hamburger strapped on my back...

Y' see, the really scary thing about the danger of being "bushwhacked" by the fair ones is it can happen anywhere, anytime, in the most mundane of circumstances, when you least expect it. These fair maidens are clever and very imaginative, each one is a unique case, and you never know when the next one may catch you totally unawares!

Ha! Ha! And to think that once they were all that I could dream of...this life has got to be some kind of joke on me. I can't wait to hear the punch line when I finally check out of Earthly existence for a bit of rest and rehab in the spiritual regions.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Deckman
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 06:52 PM

Little Hawk ... Yes, you are absolutly right. I should NOT give you any phone numbers! Bob


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: harvey andrews
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 07:08 PM

I met her and didn't notice her, I was talking to her sister. Then I got a card and didn't realise it was from her, so I ignored it. (it was too oblique..you know the one..women think their signal is obvious and we men don't see it at all). So she wrote later to apologise and then I twigged who it was and invited her to come and stay for a weekend...guest room of course. I was a single parent at the time. I met her at the railway station in my one and only suit (to make a good impression you understand, haven't worn a suit since) Everybody went past me and there she was walking towards me dressed in her very best "I'm meeting a folkie" clothes. Shawl, jeans and trainers.
I looked and thought "Oh my God, she's just.....beautiful"
Took her for a meal at a local country restaurant and knew before the main course that this was it. That was 20 years ago.
It's still it.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Sam L
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 07:49 PM

I think knowing is partly merely deciding. You make up your mind, you know. I don't mind saying I decided my wife was the one for me, because then I've at least made one good long-term decision.

   At the time I met my wife I had a lot of prospects. Most guys I know have a period of time when this happens, when they are interesting, and none know why or what it is.* At the time, all the various enchantments of beautiful young women were beginning to disgust me, a little, at the fringes of my utter susceptibility. I wanted one best friend, who I could also sleep with, and she showed up at the right time and place. Unfortunately it was also the wrong time and place, but that's all right, now.

*The three times in my life a woman has sought to pick me up I was wearing the same shirt. I told my wife about this, and can't find the magic shirt. Sigh. Even when you're severely married it's a kick for someone to like you.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 08:28 PM

Fred:

Your wife took your magic shirt? Seems a bit extreme, but on the other hand why were you still wearing it around?? Can't say you weren't asking for it! :><))
\

A


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 09:09 PM

My God, Harvey, that is a great story! You people amaze me, you really do. Here I was thinking it only happened like that in books and movies...

Keep them good stories comin' folks! I may not be one of the club, but it sure is inspiring hearing these happy tales.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 10:06 PM

Well, LH, in some ways it is like the movies. Sometimes you just know. When Brian asked my dad, he said "Ask her mother". Mom was beating chocolate cake batter and turned around w/o turning off the mixer (cake batter all over everywhere) and said "YES! It's about time". I swear, my parents loved him more than I do.

But, the movies don't show the hard times, sometimes for months or years on end that require a true committment to each other and the kids, if any. We've had some terrible fights but nobody EVER has hit anybody else or ever moved out. We both have gone for some long drives though.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 10:08 PM

It's gonna happen any day.....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Deckman
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 11:40 PM

By the wayt Kat ... that's quite a beautiful and wonderful story. Thanks for posting it. Bob


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Marion
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 01:29 AM

Hey Fred... any chance your wife is wearing the magic shirt when you're not around? :)

Marion


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 03:53 AM

Well, we got to know each other in 1968 on a student tour of the US when we were both dating other people. We started going out with each other after we got back to the UK and the other relationships broke up,we were separated for a time by jobs in different cities. Then I got a job in London late in 1969 and we married in December 1970. I KNEW when I discovered she had the 78 of Lonnie Donegan's Rock Island Line.SHE says she admired the extent of my repertoire though she's always been disappointed in my performance of it!


RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 04:14 AM

In 1978, aged 38, I had abandoned all hope to find a matching mate. So had my former bride, aged 33.
I saw her first at a students' meeting, where she was brought to a dance by a girl friend. Since she sat on the opposite side of the dancing hall I had no chance to engage her in time because she was beleaguered by a lot of dancers.
Next morning there was an open air dixie session and I managed to get a place on her side. We talked a little about ourselves, how we liked to have children, and when I opened my eyes a while later I noticed that we were still kissing.
72 days later we were married (good infantry training: when you see a good chance, attack!), and next week we will have our silver anniversary.

Wilfried


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 04:28 AM

Oh god, my maths! I was 35.

Wilfried


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 08:40 AM

I met my wife Ruth in bible study, where we usually ended up sitting next to each other. We really started to get to know each other when a total stranger approached her where she worked at Filene's department store, filled with anxiety because she had just been told that she had cancer. She came to the mall where my wife was working at the time, and approached my wife and said that God had put my wife in her path. At the time, my wife had a line of other people to wait on, so she couldn't talk with the woman. But, the woman felt that my the woman who was to become my wife could give her comfort, and wouldn't give up. Finally, she handed my wife a slip of paper with her address on it, and asked my wife to write to her. Somehow, even though my wife an I hardly knew each other, she felt that I could write a letter to the woman, and I did. It was a hard letter to write, as I had never met the woman, and my wife didn't know who she was, either. Because of that letter, we realized that both of us had been committed to visiting the sick for most of our lives. The following week, I asked the woman who was to become my wife if she wanted to go visit the sick with me, and she agreed. It wasn't until then that I even found out her last name. Our first "date," was visiting a 98 year old bed-ridden woman (who has since passed away,) and two other people in the hospital. After our visits, I took my wife out to dinner, and then we walked along the beach under a full moon, shining over the ocean. Then I took her for a strawberry sundae, and took her home. That was on a Friday night. That Sunday morning, my Mother called to tell me that my Father had just died, and I went to church, deeply shaken. After church, my to-be wife came with me to call my Mother, and when my Mother said, "I hate to call and tell you this, when you're all alone," I said, "I'm not alone any more, Mom" and wrapped my arms around the woman I had gone out with for the first time less than 48 hours earlier. And I knew I would marry her. And I did. Two days ago we celebrated our 5th Anniversary.

Jerry


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Deda
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:57 PM

A little over nine years ago my friend Mary wrote me a wonderful rhyming letter asking me to come visit her and her then-mate, Larry, at their ranch on the western slope of Colorado, near Paonia, for the 4th of July weekend. She said that a friend of Larry's was going to be there and she thought I'd like him. So I rented a car and made the 5-hour drive to Crawford, Co, to a ranch with a fabulous view of mountains and rock formations and the grand mesa. Larry's old pal, David, was then living in Morgantown, WVa, and when Larry had called to invite him, David had said, No, he couldn't come. Larry had pleaded and cajoled, and David said No. Larry offered to pay the plane fare, David said No. Larry said, "Mary has a friend she'd like you to meet." David says that he meant to say "no", but he opened his mouth and "Yes" came out.
So there we both were and when I first saw him I thought he was very handsome (he still is). He reminded me of the Chelminski brothers, a family of dashing fellows who lived in the town where I grew up. And the four of us together (Mary, Larry, David and I) just had a long weekend of laughing, singing, hiking, laughing, eating Mary's fabulous cooking, and laughing.
When I drove away, David says he felt immediately homesick. A month later he came to visit me in Maine, where I used to go in August (a long, sad story). He stayed a week, and we were unofficially engaged by the end of it. But he was still living in WVa and I was in Boulder. We talked every day, visited back and forth. The following summer he moved to Boulder with all his worldly goods, and the summer after that we had a fabulous wedding, with Amos presiding. We just celebrated our 7th anniversary a couple of weeks ago.
Even though we had each gone through our own slightly off-beat spiritual paths, the thing that we started doing together during that visit in Maine, and that we've done all along, was pray. He says we pray to the same God -- which is an all-inclusive, all-loving energy. We pray together almost every night before we go to sleep. We never go to any kind of services, and we very rarely read any spiritual or religious books together, but we have a daily ritual which keeps us on the same page. That isn't to say that everything is always perfect; I'm a slob and he's a neatnik, I'm very family-oriented and he isn't. But we are very, very happy together. And I'm constantly grateful that we came together. And Mary knows that I'll be in debt to her until pigs fly and hell freezes over.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 02:10 PM

Geeze, Deda has it really only been 7 years? It seems five times that long! Sure was a fun wedding!

I think the pigs are waiting for hell to freeze over first, before they reveal they have always been able to fly but were keeping it secret. Flying over flames makes them...well, nervous, ya know. :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Deda
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 04:53 PM

Gee, it doesn't seem that long to me. Maybe I've been having more fun.
;^>

Deda


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 04:55 PM

I saw her coming from a darkened stairway at a place called "PHOTON" (an arena laser tag game). At first I thought it was one of my female cousins and was a little puzzled at why they would be there, so far from home. As she came closer I was smitten. We talked for awhile and had several games in the arena. Then I lost her. I went to PHOTON every night for two weeks (turns out she was recovering from broken ribs that she received the night I met her, a big marine accidentally ran her down in the arena). That second night she was surrounded by friends, mostly male. I didn't think I had a chance and her girlfriend said she was already seeing someone else. Surprisingly she asked me along when the group decided to go to a local beach. They took turns throwing each other in the water. When it was my turn she held my wallet and good leather belt as they threw me in. She was the only one who hadn't gotten the baptism and when I mentioned it she said "well what are you going to do about it". I took her in my arms and holding her to my dripping self gave her a good kiss. Then we picked her up and threw her in. It seems we both knew the first night. It's been fifteen years and two children.
As the song says, Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. But as another song says "one and one don't make two, one and one make one.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Grab
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 08:11 PM

Renting a room in a dingy shared house one Easter vac at uni, working at my sponsor company to get a bit more cash. One week in, Emma turned up. I had a room upstairs, she had a room downstairs. I think it was about 2 days later we knew we couldn't keep away from each other, and 3 weeks later until I asked her to marry me.

At the time, I was in the 2nd year of a 4-year uni course, and Emma was starting uni later that year. She was a later starter at uni, as she'd basically being shut away looking after her dad for some time until he'd died the previous year (and I'm still horrified that the rest of her family expected her to sign away those years like that). Anyway, we either got married then or we waited until after uni. It would have been sensible to wait until after uni... so we got married then. :-) Well actually we got married that Christmas, as that was the soonest we could get things together. My folks knew we were very serious, but they didn't expect that, especially since they'd only seen her for about 5 minutes that summer! They took it pretty badly to start with, and I don't like digging my heels in with family and friends, but it all worked out in the end. Coming up to 8 years this year, and we still can't keep away from each other (just being away for 2 weeks on business is painful).

I've never been one for going out on the pull - I'd always believed in waiting for it being right (and still do), although I suppose had I had the chance then I would have succumbed. ;-) But Emma was the first serious girlfriend I'd had. Success first time out, I guess! Curiously, since we got married I know at least one girl who I was good friends with and with whom I felt there could have been something, but a long-term *true* love gets much more intense than that so there's no chance I would ever give that up. However, in light of that, I do think there's more than one person that's right for you - if I hadn't met Emma, it would have been someone else, some other time, and the same for her. It's just that as Billy Connolly says "It's in the last place you look. Well of course it is. When you've found it, you bloody well stop looking, don't you?!"

Graham.


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Subject: RE: BS: How did you meet? When did you KNOW?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 11:38 PM

Good logic there.


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