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BS: What if they had said it this way

GUEST,Jeep Man 20 Aug 02 - 09:09 PM
Bill D 20 Aug 02 - 09:12 PM
Susanne (skw) 20 Aug 02 - 09:15 PM
Bill D 20 Aug 02 - 09:15 PM
Bill D 20 Aug 02 - 09:18 PM
MMario 20 Aug 02 - 10:20 PM
michaelr 20 Aug 02 - 10:24 PM
katlaughing 20 Aug 02 - 10:48 PM
Chip2447 20 Aug 02 - 11:21 PM
Sorcha 20 Aug 02 - 11:25 PM
GUEST,Kaleb 20 Aug 02 - 11:33 PM
Wincing Devil 20 Aug 02 - 11:35 PM
GUEST 20 Aug 02 - 11:46 PM
GUEST,Bardford 21 Aug 02 - 12:14 AM
DonMeixner 21 Aug 02 - 12:18 AM
Genie 21 Aug 02 - 12:18 AM
katlaughing 21 Aug 02 - 12:33 AM
GUEST,Souter 21 Aug 02 - 01:33 AM
Benjamin 21 Aug 02 - 02:32 AM
GUEST,Crazy Eddie 21 Aug 02 - 04:10 AM
Skipper Jack 21 Aug 02 - 04:49 AM
Trevor 21 Aug 02 - 05:00 AM
Chip2447 21 Aug 02 - 06:24 AM
kendall 21 Aug 02 - 06:36 AM
SharonA 21 Aug 02 - 10:39 AM
GUEST,Fred Miller 21 Aug 02 - 10:54 AM
Trevor 21 Aug 02 - 11:05 AM
Trevor 21 Aug 02 - 12:00 PM
MMario 21 Aug 02 - 12:16 PM
Morticia 21 Aug 02 - 12:24 PM
kendall 21 Aug 02 - 12:31 PM
Micca 21 Aug 02 - 01:28 PM
MMario 21 Aug 02 - 01:42 PM
Uncle_DaveO 21 Aug 02 - 01:43 PM
Uncle_DaveO 21 Aug 02 - 01:47 PM
Genie 21 Aug 02 - 01:55 PM
MMario 21 Aug 02 - 02:15 PM
SharonA 21 Aug 02 - 03:03 PM
Genie 21 Aug 02 - 03:11 PM
SharonA 21 Aug 02 - 03:14 PM
Genie 21 Aug 02 - 03:31 PM
MMario 21 Aug 02 - 03:33 PM
GUEST,Don Meixner at work 21 Aug 02 - 03:36 PM
Hippie Chick 21 Aug 02 - 03:39 PM
Genie 21 Aug 02 - 03:55 PM
katlaughing 21 Aug 02 - 04:09 PM
The Walrus 21 Aug 02 - 05:54 PM
Bill D 21 Aug 02 - 06:00 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 21 Aug 02 - 06:21 PM
Jim Dixon 21 Aug 02 - 06:32 PM
Genie 21 Aug 02 - 07:16 PM
Benjamin 21 Aug 02 - 08:08 PM
Micca 21 Aug 02 - 09:02 PM
Chip2447 21 Aug 02 - 11:16 PM
Genie 22 Aug 02 - 12:02 AM
John O'L 22 Aug 02 - 02:28 AM
Genie 22 Aug 02 - 02:35 AM
JohnnyBGoode 22 Aug 02 - 03:01 AM
Trevor 22 Aug 02 - 04:31 AM
The Walrus at work 22 Aug 02 - 09:15 AM
Bill D 22 Aug 02 - 11:58 AM
Skipper Jack 22 Aug 02 - 12:03 PM
Genie 22 Aug 02 - 02:20 PM
RangerSteve 22 Aug 02 - 02:39 PM
The Walrus 22 Aug 02 - 05:40 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 22 Aug 02 - 06:25 PM
bob jr 22 Aug 02 - 10:47 PM
Bill D 22 Aug 02 - 11:52 PM
Bert 23 Aug 02 - 12:26 AM
GUEST,Crazy Eddie 23 Aug 02 - 03:13 AM
Trevor 23 Aug 02 - 04:36 AM
The Walrus at work 23 Aug 02 - 08:50 AM
GUEST 23 Aug 02 - 09:16 AM
GUEST,Fred Miller 23 Aug 02 - 09:25 AM
MMario 23 Aug 02 - 09:25 AM
Trevor 23 Aug 02 - 09:56 AM
The Walrus at work 23 Aug 02 - 01:34 PM
DMcG 23 Aug 02 - 01:42 PM
Boromir 23 Aug 02 - 04:18 PM
MMario 23 Aug 02 - 04:23 PM
Genie 23 Aug 02 - 10:05 PM
katlaughing 23 Aug 02 - 10:57 PM
Genie 24 Aug 02 - 12:09 AM
Blackcatter 24 Aug 02 - 12:40 AM
GUEST,Souter 24 Aug 02 - 12:57 AM
GUEST,Souter 24 Aug 02 - 01:03 AM
Genie 24 Aug 02 - 01:38 PM
The Walrus 24 Aug 02 - 06:49 PM
GUEST,Fred Miller 24 Aug 02 - 06:51 PM
Ebbie 24 Aug 02 - 09:47 PM
Genie 24 Aug 02 - 11:53 PM
Blackcatter 24 Aug 02 - 11:58 PM
GUEST,Gurney 25 Aug 02 - 06:27 AM
Skipper Jack 25 Aug 02 - 11:15 AM
GUEST,Fred Miller 25 Aug 02 - 12:11 PM
katlaughing 25 Aug 02 - 02:29 PM
Uncle_DaveO 25 Aug 02 - 06:08 PM
Uncle_DaveO 25 Aug 02 - 06:12 PM
Genie 25 Aug 02 - 09:06 PM
katlaughing 25 Aug 02 - 11:56 PM
Skipper Jack 26 Aug 02 - 04:49 AM
Genie 26 Aug 02 - 11:26 PM
Blackcatter 26 Aug 02 - 11:54 PM
Genie 27 Aug 02 - 01:51 AM
Trevor 27 Aug 02 - 06:43 AM
DMcG 27 Aug 02 - 07:29 AM
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Subject: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Jeep Man
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 09:09 PM

I am talking about some of the famous lines that have lasted for decades. Movies, novels, TV and even songs.

Example,

"FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON'T CARE"

"GET OUT OF TOWN BEFORE BRUNCH".

"THIS CITY ISN'T LARGE ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US'

"WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PITTSBURGH".

Anyone Else? Jeep


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 09:12 PM

"Call me Izzy......"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 09:15 PM

To be or not to be ???


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 09:15 PM

"Hi, Yo, Mister Ed...Awaaaaayyy"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 09:18 PM

"You know, I heard a horse sing like that, once"

Big Bill Broonzy


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 10:20 PM

We're off to see the humbug?

Your mission - whether you like it or not...


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: michaelr
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 10:24 PM

The answer, my friend, is blowing like an empty paper bag on the sidewalk...


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 10:48 PM

I left my heart in that hilly town with cable cars

The sun will come out the next day

Singing in the precipitation

It's another day in the approximately ten block square

And, awaaaaay we leave

Fiddle dee dee, I'll think about that on the upcoming day

I'm ready for my up close and personal, Mr. de Mille!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Chip2447
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:21 PM

Looking for Mr. Snickers.

They may take our lives, but they will never take our desire to live unoppressed and with equality for all.

Alas, poor Bobbit. I knew him, Lorena.

Call me Ishtar.

I never drink....fermented grape juice.

Chip2447(quitting now before this gets waaaay outta control)


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:25 PM

Oh, funny Jim. Good one!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Kaleb
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:33 PM

Who was that man with that mask thing covering his eyes?



Kaleb


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:35 PM

  • Me Tarzan, You Phil(*)
  • Here's lookin at me kid
  • Lions and tigers and chipmunks, Oh My!
  • Writ of Habeus Corpus? We don' need no stinkin' writ of habeus corpus!
  • A double mocha latte! A double mocha latte! My Kingdom for a double mocha latte!
  • Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of Hoboken.
  • Use the Spatula, Luke!

*(Not that there's anything wrong with that!)


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:46 PM

I made him an offer and he liked it ok.

Go ahead punk, make my lunch.

If you build it, people will come from all over and stand in line and pay you money to see it and they will like it and tell all their friends about it.

Kaleb


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Bardford
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:14 AM

Of all the Tim Horton's in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine.

(It's a coffee/donut franchise in Canada.)


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: DonMeixner
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:18 AM

"I am a cheese danish!"

"Well, OKay there , Puritan."

"On second thought I'll have a beer, Draft, not bottled."

"All right Buddy, where's the Fire?, "In your eyes officer, in your eyes."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:18 AM

"As God is my witness, I'll never be sober again!"

"I'm as angry as H - E - double hockey sticks, and I do not intend to continue abiding this in the future!"

"And, as Tiny Tim observed, 'Bah, humbug!'"

"Cher! Cher! Come back, Cher!"

"Elvis has eaten the building."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:33 AM

Dddddat's everything, folks!

Yabba *Dippity Do!

Heigh'o Nickel, Get Going!

Say goodnight, Don Juan..



*a hair gel


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 01:33 AM

Propel, propel, propel your craft
Gently down the silusion
Extaticly, extaticly, extaticly, extaticly,
Existence is but a delusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Benjamin
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 02:32 AM

I'd really enjoy being under a salty body of water not big enough to be called an ocean in a place where eight legged freaks grow their plants!

Doesn't have the same comercial appeal (though it might have back then, I wasn't yet born)!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 04:10 AM

Is that a pin in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

We will fight them amongst the sand-castles....

Frankie & Johnny: He was her man, and not only was he always faithful; he was unfailingly kind, considerate, and sensitive.

Your mission Jim, whether you like it or not....


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 04:49 AM

Holy Indians! Look at all them mackeral.

Heard at the "Battle of The Big Little Horn"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 05:00 AM

"Well Tonto, we're surrounded by Commanches, we're out of bullets - it looks like we've come to the end of the line old friend"

'Whaddya mean 'we' ya pale faced bastard.."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Chip2447
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 06:24 AM

Yes, yes I did have sexual relations with that woman, and by the way, I did inhale...


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 06:36 AM

"Oh dear, looks like you are horse fucked man" Wilfred Hyde White to Joseph Cotton in The Third Man. For you non fans of this classic film, Cotton, (Holly Martin) was in Vienna for a job, and when he arrived, his mentor, Harry Lime was reported dead. W.H. White said, "Oh, that is awkward."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 10:39 AM

"Smith. John Smith." – Agent 007

"I always met a man I liked." – Will Rogers

"87 years ago, our people of an earlier period and common heritage produced on this continuous mass of land a novel and unfamiliar community of people composed of several nationalities and possessing a more or less defined territory and government, impregnated in the power to do as one pleases, and devoted to the offer for consideration that all males (and possible females, but let's not push it because I want to be re-elected) are designed and produced identically in value." – Abraham Lincoln


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 10:54 AM

My mother used to have students fill in the blanks of lines from plays they'd read, the favorite response was Hamlet to Gertrude: Go not to mine uncle's bed. Assume a headache if you have one not.

And a favorite Lenny Bruce line--There is no free brunch.

The best things in life are fried.

A good man is hard to define.

Mama always said life is like a box of "assorted" cookies, differnt shapes and colors but they all taste the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:05 AM

An inclination of the cranium is equal to the spasmodic movement of a single optic to an equine quadruped that is devoid of its visionary capacity.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:00 PM

Indicate the way to my abode
I'm fatigued and I wish to retire
Had alcoholic beverage sixty minutes ago, and it's gone directly to my cranium
No matter where I perambulate
Over terra, ocean or liquid effervescence
You will always hear me crooning this melody
Indicate the way to my abode

And it fits the tune - just!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:16 PM

'to kill a parakeet'

'A long distance traveled under the ocean'

'Ad Luna,Alice, ad Luna!'


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Morticia
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:24 PM

"We'll always have Milton Keynes
" "I'll be back....probably around lunchtime, so if you'd pop the kettle on , that would be very nice"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 12:31 PM

There will aleays be an Old Blighty.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Micca
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 01:28 PM

" I am probably not going to follow agricultural employment with Margaret again"

" The answer, Comrade, is wafting on the breeze"

" Friends, Romans, Hipsters, let me clue you in, we come to put Caeser down ,Not to groove him"

" since my love departed,
I found a new abode,
its round the corner from Kings Cross
on Seven Sisters Road"

" Last night I dreamed I went to Manchester again"

" Well I woke up this morning
What a lovely day
Well I woke up this morning
What a lovely day
the little birds were singing
and the folks were making hay"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 01:42 PM

Romeo- Romeo - Where the HECK are you hiding?

Hey - what's that light coming through the glass?

A large shaped portion of heat-coagulated fermented paste of powder made from the embryos of various vegatative organisms; a container of the alcoholic juices derived from vinous fruit, and you.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 01:43 PM

"A trio of rodents with defective ocular perception
A trio of rodents with defective ocular perception
Observe the manner in which they perambulate
Observe the manner in which they perambulate
The group pursued the agriculturist's spouse
Who severed their caudal appendages with an instrument of household cutlery
Did you at any prior time perceive an equivalent view in your temporal, earthly existence?
A trio of rodents with defective ocular perception.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 01:47 PM

"Scintillate, scintillate, apparently Lilliputian orb
Interrogatively, I question your constituent elements.
Elevated greatly vertically from the Terrestrial sphere
Similar to a carbonaceous, isometric, octahedral specimen in the celestial firmament."

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 01:55 PM

"Here's looking at you, Spaw."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 02:15 PM

"I don't give the ignited posterior of a rodent!"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:03 PM

"Crest has been shown to keep teeth from rotting, which is good when you brush your teeth with it and go to the dentist too."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:11 PM

"In clinical tests, Crest was unsurpassed in preventing new cavities--no better and no worse than any of the other 200 brands tested."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:14 PM

"He's kicked the bucket, Jim."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:31 PM

"Is that a pin in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"  -- good one, crazy  Eddie!

-----
Good rewrite of Lincoln, SharonA.

-----
Fred M, "a good man is hard to define" -- how true!

Also, how about "A good man is hard to <b>confine</b>"?

-----
Micca,  "...but Brutus says he [Caesar] had big eyes, and Brutus is a cool cat."

-----
For healthcare product ads, how about this:

"Snakoilicinª has been clinically tested.*
*We aren't going to tell you the results of those clinical tests, of course.  We're not that stupid!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:33 PM

Gol'darn it Jim! I'm a physician. I should be out playing golf somewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Don Meixner at work
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:36 PM

Today is the last day of the first part of your life.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Hippie Chick
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:39 PM

"We can rebuild him, we have the baling wire, glue, worry beads and spit."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:55 PM

Or how about
"Here's looking at you, bi-otch!"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 04:09 PM

Ding-dong the bitch is dead...

At an as yet undetermined point over the multi-hued, spectrumly-correct, all-inclusive curvature in the atmosphere

Hello, pitch-black, my old friend


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 05:54 PM

Never, in the history of hostile military encounters, has such a moral debt been accrued by such a large number of people toward so small a force - W.S. Churchill

"Oh bugger!" - G.A.Custer - Little Big Horn

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 06:00 PM

"alimentary, my dear Watson"
Dr. Holmes, internal medicine

"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy god's back"
dyslexic lexicographer

"Nosuh!"
Steppin Fetchit


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 06:21 PM

These are great!!

My poor contributions:

Sunshine Keeps Fallin' on my Head

I'm a doctor, Jim. Not a transcendental artist.

I see a blonde whore and I want to paint her black.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 06:32 PM

A chain-link fence has come down on Europe.
--Winston Churchill

I have nothing to offer but various bodily fluids.
--Winston Churchill

We have nothing to be afraid of but being afraid of stuff.
--Franklin Roosevelt

Ich bin ein Hamburger!
--John F. Kennedy


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 07:16 PM

Or, "Ich bin ein Weiner!"
or
"Ich bin ein Frankfurter!"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Benjamin
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 08:08 PM

London Bridges weren't built very well!

To thy own self, lying isn't the best way to go!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Micca
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 09:02 PM

Genie!! you know the next bit!!!!:o)))))))


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Chip2447
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:16 PM

Defecate, or evacuate the fecal collection recpticle.

If the foo shits.

COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU..."BUBBLES THE BARBARIAN"

My bologna has a first name it's R-A-L-P-H.

Hey mister bodhran man, play a tune for me.

Sunscreen on my shoulders makes me happy.

I'll get you yet, you wascally wombat.

I went down to the four way intersection.

O, brother, you be around heres?

Sixteen tongues and whatta get?

I'm as mad as heck and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of pina colada mix

Chip2447(trying to stop...)


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 12:02 AM

Actually, Micca, I remember well the Mad Magazine piece those lines came from, but danged if I can remember the next line! (What year was that? About 1956 or 1957?)

And do you happen to have the whole speech?

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: John O'L
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:28 AM

"Don't play that crap again Sam" - Rick in Casablanca


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:35 AM

How do I spell "relief?" "Q-u-a-a-l-u-d-e-s."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: JohnnyBGoode
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 03:01 AM

Hip, hip, WAHOO!

"No, kid, if you really want to record something for your mother you're better off investing in a home tape recorder and doing it yourself...this is a professional recording studio. We're busy with the likes of Carl Perkins and others you probably haven't heard of."

Na na na na, na na na na, hey, hey, hiya

Listen, do you want to know something I won't tell anybody else?

Jesus left.

Watson, you're fired. Pack your things and go. -- A. Grahm Bell


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 04:31 AM

'You're kidding!' - Hardy to Nelson at his big moment during the battle of Trafalgar.

'Anybody seen the tar remover?' - Lady Macbeth

Once Upon a Time Somewhere Over There

'If you don't put that arrow down Harold, you'll have someone's eye out!'

and, most famously...

'Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the show?'


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 09:15 AM

"Alright lads, one more try at that hole in the wall" - Henry V at Harfleur

"Agincouurt? What kind of name is that for a battle?" - Henry V

"If it must be done then better to get a move on" - Macbeth

" You ba*ds might have made a token effort to look for me" Capt Oates, Scott Expedition 1912

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 11:58 AM

tsk...we are slipping from variations on famous quotes to some totally made up lines that might have been said...

Bill D, resident pedant


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 12:03 PM

"Do sit under the apple tree with everybody else but me!"

"There'll be pigeons over the black tips of Rhondda, tomorrow, just you wait and see!

"There'll be swearing, fighting, damaged street lighting, and supermarket trollies in the stream!"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:20 PM

"What silly ninnies these beings who are destined to die are!"

"If banjo solos be the food of love, ...oh, what the heck! Go ahead and pick!"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: RangerSteve
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:39 PM

...and in the name of the Lollipip Guild, we're going on strike for more vacation and sick days, better working conditions, shorter hours, a cost-of-living raise...


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 05:40 PM

OK Bill, just for you:

"..There I was, after the action, beaten to the wide and coming in on my chinstrap, when up strolls this total ponce, clean as a whistle, dressed to the nines and smelling like a bleedin' knocking shop and with a pomander up his nose.
Anyhow, some squaddies were cleaning up the battlefield and this oik has a go at them because he ended up downwind of a stiff..."
Harry Hotspur - Henry IV Pt I Act 1 Scene III - W. Shakespere

(if you want the original:

"...But I remember, when the fight was done,
When I was dry with rage and extreme toil,
Breathless and faint, leaning upon my sword,
Came there a certain lord, neat, and trimly dress'd,
Fresh as a bridegroom; and his chin new reap'd
Show'd like a stubble-land at harvest-home;
He was perfumed like a milliner;
And 'twixt his finger and his thumb he held
A pouncet-box, which ever and anon
He gave his nose and took't away again;
Who therewith angry, when it next came there,
took it in snuff; and still he smiled and talk'd,
And as the soldiers bore dead bodies by,
He call'd them untaught knaves, unmannerly,
To bring a slovenly unhandsome corse
Betwixt the wind and his nobility...")

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 06:25 PM

We always call "Toys R Us" - We be dolls & stuff


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: bob jr
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 10:47 PM

citzen kanes dying words "roast beef"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 11:52 PM

wow, Walrus!...*grin*

now, "War & Peace"?


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Bert
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 12:26 AM

I asked my love to take a hike.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 03:13 AM

Oscar Wildes last words: "Either that wall-paper goes, or we need to replace the carpet to match"

"Badges? We just LOOOOOVE those pretty badges"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 04:36 AM

F**k Bognor!


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:50 AM

Pitt the Younger's last words:
"I could just eat a chicken vindaloo."

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:16 AM

We have nothing to fear but a decade long crippling depression. (The Onion)

Whatsisname Beats The Other Guy! (Dewey Wins!, the Onion)

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of milk-duds. (Ken Byrd)

Woke up this morning, saw both my cars were gone. Felt so low down deep inside, I threw my drink across the lawn. (Martin Mull)

It ain't me, babe, it aint me, babe, you, babe, are looking for. Babe.

Do you want to know a secret? and The sound of silence; (the words stay the same, but as sung by Ethel Merman)


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:25 AM

Oops, the above were my fault. I'm a Doctor, Jim, not an assistant crack-whore.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:25 AM

"It was an okay time, it was not the greatest of times"

"Now is the cold season of our peevishness made slightly better by that big light in the sky"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:56 AM

This is a far, far more stupid thing than I have ever done before. (Pinching MMario's source!)

Nymphs and shepherds sod off!

Oh for the wings of a stormy petrel.

A Town Called Gertie


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 01:34 PM

"When I was a young man I carried a pack
And I irritated every other passenger in the tube train".
(Apologies to Eric Bogle

"To plough and sow,
and reap and mow
And rake in EU subsidies
And rake in subsidies.

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: DMcG
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 01:42 PM

A rose by any other name would still have greenfly


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Boromir
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 04:18 PM

It means nothing if it hasn't that swing.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: MMario
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 04:23 PM

To soar with the penguins....

You are the atmospheric disturbance beneath my wings...

A trolley-car named 'Lust'


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 10:05 PM

"Come shack up with me and be my main squeeze...".

Then there's that great Tennessee Williams play, "Moggy On Overheated Metal Shingles."

or
Shakespeare's classic line: "All the world's a mosh pit."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 10:57 PM

This one's too easy...Heya Romeo, where the hell are you, anyway?


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 12:09 AM

"It is better to have loved and lost. Much better."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Blackcatter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 12:40 AM

Books - Etc.:

The Once and Future Heir Apparent

Stranger in His Own Homeland

The Hunt for Yellow January

Day of the Kit Fox

The Statanic Free Verses

Slaughterhouse Down the Street Two Blocks, Make a Right and You'll see it on the Left Side Next To the Tasty Freeze

To Have and Be Happy About it

The Lord of the Fishnet Stockings Paradise. Now, Where Did Paradise Go?

6 Degrees of Education

Fiddler on the Lamb

Ivanhoe - A Critical Discussion of Russian Male Prositutes

The Last Temptation Which Was Affective

Zorba the Geek

Catch pi

All That, Out There, by Carl Sagan

The Hero With a Thousand Vices

The Martian Newspapers

Who is the Bell Ringing For?

Celsius 232.7777777777777777777777777777777777777...

Solyent Plaid


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 12:57 AM

This one's too easy...Heya Romeo, where the hell are you, anyway?

But, catlaughing, wherefore means why, not where. Just as therefore means for that reason, wherefore means for what reason. See? So it could never have been said that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 01:03 AM

To clarify: Juliet wasn't asking where Romeo was, she was asking why he couldn't be someone her parents liked.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 01:38 PM

Blackcatter,

"Fiddler on the Lamb "  -- Do you mean "...on the lam" ?  (Shouldn't it be "Banjo Player On The Lam"?)

"The Last Temptation Which Was Affective"   Do you mean "Effective?"

 "Who's The Bell Ringing For?"  -- good one!

-------
Some others:

The Sun Also Rises (So Get Out Your PABA)

The Leopard In Summer

Failed "Safes"  (required reading for Planned Parenthood)

A Vermont Mets Player In The Court Of That Guy With The Round Table

Strawberry Finn

The Last Dandelion of Summer

Mighty Lak' A Geranium


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: The Walrus
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 06:49 PM

Some older films:

"Duel in the drizzle"

"Mr Deeds Goes to Town, gets bored and comes Home"

"It's a so-so Life"

"ElectroGlide in a nice Magenta and Plum"

"Malediction of a preserved corpse"

Bob Hope in "The Sunblock worked" (alright, it was the nearest I could get to "Paleface")

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 06:51 PM

What if they'd said it together?

Fiddler on a hot tin Roof

A Streetcar named desire under the elms

What if they'd said it more precisely?

Her face at first just ghostly turned a whiter tint of pale

You and I travel to the beats of two different drums


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 09:47 PM

Very frequently, a suggestible person is birthed. P. T. Barnum


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 11:53 PM

Seen on a tombstone: "Better here than in Guelph."

BTW, wasn't Robert Burns's observation
"The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley*"
just an earlier version of
Murphy's Law?
"Whatever can go wrong will."

Genie

*This is only a rough approximation of the Burns line.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Blackcatter
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 11:58 PM

"Fiddler on the Lamb" - I was actually going for the meat of choice at Passover, but lam is fun too.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Gurney
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 06:27 AM

How about a few songs, like... Poached egg on toast by Cyril Tawney I'm metropolitan, really by Harvey Andrews When you reached the age of consent as sung by the Fureys


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 11:15 AM

If they have no bread then let them eat toast! ( I don't know who said that?)

I went, I didn't see, I won at conkers! (Julius Caesar)

Woa, woa, and triple woa! I am falling apart (I don't who said that?)


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 12:11 PM

I think it was Marie Antionette who said Let them eat toast, but I'd better be careful, might've been Groucho Marx.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 02:29 PM

Souter, thanks for the correction...HeyaRomeo..I wish my parents liked you!

**bg**


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 06:08 PM

GUEST Souter submitted:

"This one's too easy...Heya Romeo, where the hell are you, anyway?"

Unfortunately, "wherefore" does NOT mean "Where". It means "why". So maybe:

"Howzacome you're Romeo?"

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 06:12 PM

He marches to the beat of a different kettle of fish!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 09:06 PM

How about a combo song title:

"Seventy-six Candles"

Then there's the classic Gary Cooper film:

"Twelve-hundred Hours Straight Up."


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 11:56 PM

And to clarify further:

Main Entry: 1where.fore
Pronunciation: 'hwer-"fOr, 'hwar-, 'wer-, 'war-, -"for
Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle English wherfor, wherfore, from where, wher + for, fore for
Date: 13th century
1 : for what reason or purpose : WHY
2 : THEREFORE

**********************************************************

To actors: Fracture a tibia or femur


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 04:49 AM

Now children, write this simple sentence:

"The feline squatted on the floor covering".


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 11:26 PM

...or the Dr. Seuss classic,
"Le Chat Avec Le Chapeau"

or the Hemingway novella
"The Geezer Vs. Davy Jones"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Blackcatter
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 11:54 PM

Hitting our butt on the ground while rocking back and forth in a candied Roman horse cart.

What a present it is to be uncomplicated.

The plot of earth wot you see before you belongs to you.

There's a fair amount of distance across the H2O.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Genie
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 01:51 AM

That first one took me a while, Blackcatter. :)

How about some of Patsy Cline's big hits:

"Psychotic"
"Washed-Out Co-dependence"
"I Have A Nervous Breakdown
"Sugary REM Sleep"
"Ambulating In The Early Hours Of The Morning"


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: Trevor
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 06:43 AM

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


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Subject: RE: BS: What if they had said it this way
From: DMcG
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 07:29 AM

Once a battalion of dragoons@ from Ireland held a military exercise in Fife. Oh.

(@ a dragoon is a kind of pigeon, but that would be silly)


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