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BS: Most hilarious type-o's

Celtic Soul 25 Apr 02 - 09:52 PM
khandu 25 Apr 02 - 10:05 PM
Bert 25 Apr 02 - 11:43 PM
GUEST,MarkS(at work) 25 Apr 02 - 11:55 PM
Jon Freeman 26 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM
Ebbie 26 Apr 02 - 01:17 AM
GUEST,pavane 26 Apr 02 - 02:28 AM
Hrothgar 26 Apr 02 - 02:56 AM
Bert 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 AM
Pete Jennings 26 Apr 02 - 04:18 AM
CarolC 26 Apr 02 - 04:37 AM
CarolC 26 Apr 02 - 05:38 AM
Bonnie Shaljean 26 Apr 02 - 06:02 AM
Nigel Parsons 26 Apr 02 - 06:16 AM
English Jon 26 Apr 02 - 08:19 AM
Dave the Gnome 26 Apr 02 - 08:37 AM
Nigel Parsons 26 Apr 02 - 09:34 AM
Mrrzy 26 Apr 02 - 09:42 AM
GUEST,mr happy 26 Apr 02 - 09:55 AM
GUEST,Nick 26 Apr 02 - 09:59 AM
Midchuck 26 Apr 02 - 10:13 AM
Mad4Mud 26 Apr 02 - 10:40 AM
DMcG 26 Apr 02 - 10:43 AM
SINSULL 26 Apr 02 - 11:44 AM
Pseudolus 26 Apr 02 - 11:46 AM
Watson 26 Apr 02 - 12:00 PM
Bonnie Shaljean 26 Apr 02 - 12:02 PM
GUEST,Nerd (at work) 26 Apr 02 - 12:16 PM
Bill D 26 Apr 02 - 01:05 PM
allanwill 26 Apr 02 - 01:24 PM
allanwill 26 Apr 02 - 01:29 PM
catspaw49 26 Apr 02 - 01:41 PM
Wolfgang 26 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM
Mr Red 26 Apr 02 - 02:30 PM
Deda 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 PM
SharonA 26 Apr 02 - 03:07 PM
Hilary 26 Apr 02 - 03:11 PM
MudGuard 26 Apr 02 - 03:41 PM
catspaw49 26 Apr 02 - 05:12 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 05:55 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:01 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:06 PM
GUEST,Dagenham Doc 26 Apr 02 - 06:11 PM
Bonnie Shaljean 26 Apr 02 - 06:18 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:19 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:51 PM
SINSULL 27 Apr 02 - 01:55 PM
Celtic Soul 28 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM
GUEST,Boab 28 Apr 02 - 02:19 AM
MARINER 28 Apr 02 - 08:45 AM
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Subject: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 09:52 PM

Thanks one and all, for all the humour of late. Just what the Doc ordered. So, to continue the trend, I'm going to steal this one from CarolC's refrigerator of many a moons ago...

Some religious paper was trying to quote the bible verse that says; "This is the Lords doing, and it is great in our eyes".

They pooched it badly however by leaving out the "i" in "doing".


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: khandu
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 10:05 PM

Fort Worth Star Telegram in the mid eighties had a headline regarding a raid at a topless bar, "Eight arrested on Exposing Counts". They left out the "o" in counts.

Dallas paper had an ad in the lost and found: Lost one long-eared black female. Call ***-****

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bert
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 11:43 PM

Legend (or maybe folklore) has it that, in the days of The Empire, the Times once ran a report on a royal function. They meant to write "Queen Victoria passed through The Admiralty Arch" But they put an "i" in passed instead of the "a".


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,MarkS(at work)
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 11:55 PM

Or how about the Sinclair oil company sign, on which the "C" burned out?


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM

I've probably said this one before but my own was chatting to Jeri on ICQ and mentioning a computer problem. It came out as my hard dick problem...

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:17 AM

I myself found a typo in a Notary Public pamphlet. Inside was a foreword by Lt. Governor Fran Ulmer. The third paragraph began heartily: "The office and function of the Notary Pubic system has a long and honorable history."

I brought it to the attention of the Director. About three months later a new manual was issued with the offending word corrected.

I still think that #1: it was put in purposely by someone and #2: I was not the first one to have noticed it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:28 AM

I still have a copy of an advertisement from over 20 years ago, for WANG computers, where they made a mistake with the last letter of the company name, replacing it with K.

I also have some pencils from ARAMCO in Saudi Arabia, on which a safety slogan was inscribed. It reads

INSPECT TOOL BEFORE USE

(I know it's not a typo, but still...)


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Hrothgar
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:56 AM

And the winner is............

The Wicked Bible that was printed about 150 years ago that said "Thou shalt commit adultery."


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bert
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 AM

Gawd pavane, I remember those pencils from when I worked for Aramco. Somewhere I still have a progress report which reads something like this ...due to the Holy Month of Ramadan the project will fall 90 days behind schedule...


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 04:18 AM

Here's an imaginary typo: my old mate Stan Arnold used to use this joke in his stage act.

"I wrote to that Elton John asking if I could get together with him to write some songs. I was really excited when I got a reply, but disappointed to see that it only said 'No, you cant'. Just as well, really, cos he couldn't even spell that properly".

Pete


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 04:37 AM

Hey Ms Soul! I wouldn't have minded you stealing my typo so much if you hadn't taken the refrigerator with it!

;-)

( ...now I don't have a typo for this thread, and my beer's gone too!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 05:38 AM

Heh! I just saw your pictures in the resources pages. What's that critter that's gnawing on your face in the top one? Is that thing wearing a kilt?


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:02 AM

The mischief makers on my keyboard are the I and O, because they're right next to each other, which yield such gems as Westmonster, and the Dike of Norfolk.

But my favourite was a poster for a lute recital which a friend was giving. He was good at calligraphy so he hand-lettered his own poster, which (after an entire night's work) elegantly annouced his forthcoming Lute Recital. Only problem was, he left the "I" out of Recital.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:16 AM

Bonnie: if you confuse the I and O, what was meant by the "Doke of Norfolk" ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: English Jon
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 08:19 AM

U is also next to the I!!!

This lute player, wouldn't be a certain Mr. Eisner, by any chance?!!

EJ


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 08:37 AM

Actualy seen in local papers (by me!)

One of our local folk acts being advertised as "Geroff Higginbottom" - Sorry Geoff. Guess they just didn't like you...

But my favourite was the advert for the gadget that removed unwanted hair from nose and ars :-)

Cheers

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:34 AM

Not a "Typo", but a necessary explanation of a sign.
I've just had an hours break from the net to do some painting, and, knowing I'm not the only pedant around here, I've hung the sign.
!
Wet paint in downstairs W.C.
This is a caution.
Notan instruction
!


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:42 AM

I miss the little typo's with snide comments that used to be in the New Yorker...


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,mr happy
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:55 AM

Apology notice in Liverpool Echo.

They had printed in a report on battle heroics:

'Major Baldwin, bottle scarred veteran of two world wars'

The notice made the neccessary statements of contrition, and went on to say, 'of course the sentence should have read; "battle scared"


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:59 AM

A real estate typo-

House has 30' dick (deck)


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Midchuck
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 10:13 AM

Bought a bicycle some years ago, made in Japan.

Good machine. Instruction manual contained a reference to the "shifting mechanism," in which the "f" in "shifting" had been printed as another "t."

Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mad4Mud
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 10:40 AM

I run reports at work and one is just entitled "daily". In order to view the report I have to type "list daily". One morning my finger slipped and I ended up typing in "lust daily". I thought that was a pretty good motto myself! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: DMcG
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 10:43 AM

Mrzzy - if you miss the New Yorker's typos column, try could try buying the Saturday edition of the UK Guardian which runs something similar. Here's one from this weeks from a hotel safety leaflet

IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO LEAVE YOUR ROOM
- call the reception
- seal all ventilation vents and door gaps
- open the window if too much smoke in your room,
- expose yourself in the window

(Hope I haven't added any more typos)


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 11:44 AM

I've mentioned this before:
The awning at a local hair salon boasted "Unixes" haircuts. Took me a month to figure out that it was not a salon for eunuchs.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Pseudolus
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 11:46 AM

This fits the thread (I think!) even though it's not really a typo....

Years ago I worked on a Computer Helpdesk and users of the computer all had UIC's (User Identification Code). They were grouped by department so if you changed departments your UIC would need to change as well. One day I received a phone call from a woman who asked if I could change her IUD. I put her on hold, for the purposes of laughing my ass off, and when I returned she had realized what she said and was laughing harder than I was!!!

OK, so maybe it didn't really fit the thread but to be honest, what thread WOULD that story fit into?!?!?!

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Watson
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:00 PM

Sinsull's posting reminded me - opposite the place I used to work was a hair salon called Heroes, with its name proudly displayed on a vinyl awning over the window, but when the sun shone through it, there was a strut just under the "o", so it looked like Herpes!


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:02 PM

Nigel & Jon - Yes, I realised I'd left out the U just as I hit "Submit" and my faulty text was being ingested into Mudcat immortality - so now my message about typo's has a typo. Way to go, Bonnie (at least I'm consistent...)

No, the lutenist wasn't Mr Eisner (or Eusner or Eosner) -

Has anyone ever seen a hilarious book called "Lost Consonants"? It's full of eye-catching misprints which have appeared in various publications. The only example from it which I can remember offhand is a news item about some minor celebrity attending a media function who was "greeted by a small but enthusiastic crow."


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Nerd (at work)
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:16 PM

I was once writing a grant application and one of the advisory committee for the project (whom I was required to mention)worked with the Camden County Girl Scouts. I left out the "o" in County. Luckily, I noticed the error before the application went in the mail!

Also, the bridge over the Delaware River in Trenton, NJ has a big neon sign on it that says "Trenton Makes, the World Takes." When I first moved to the area, the T in Takes was burned out for more than a year.

variations on a theme, I know....


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:05 PM

the Wichita, Kans. chapter of Zero Population Growth bought a rubber stamp to put their logo on some pamphlets....and no one noticed that it said, "Untied Wichita Z.P G."....till after thousands were stamped...so they distributed it anyway.

And I saw a stamp that a federal worker had acquired from the supply room...it was her proudest possession...it sternly admonished one to EXPEDIATE!


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: allanwill
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:24 PM

Not a typo (or maybe it was).

The Defense Department of the Australian Public Service used to advertise a position, the summary of which read "In charge of the dischatge of Seamen"

Allan


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: allanwill
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:29 PM

Bloody hell - you wouldn't believe it wouldya?

I meant "In charge of the discharge of Seamen"

Allan


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:41 PM

How about a "Sign-O" instead?

Reminds me of a Roadhouse just outside of Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee, just north of Chattanooga on 27. Someone new came along in the early eighties and reopened this dive with a fresh coat of paint and a huge new professional looking sign out front. They called the place "Celebrate".......Sadly, the sign painter must have been paid ahead in trade, because one side was missing the "R".......still spelled wrong (CELEBATE)....... but even so, somehow you just KNEW you weren't going to get any action in that dive!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Wolfgang
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM

or did you mean 'discharge of semen'?

Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:30 PM

I was told of a secretary who misread a bosses handwriting on an envelope to Leyton Buzzard - she thought the LC z's where g's! Maybe she knows something we have suspected a long time!


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Deda
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 PM

Years ago, a neon sign advertizing a Denver restaurant (one of a chain) called the Black Angus had a few bulbs go out on, eliminating the letter "G".

(Do you have Black Angus cattle in the UK?)


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 03:07 PM

So far, I've managed to catch myself and correct this before hitting the "Submit" button, but one of these days it's going to slip past me: I keep mistyping Catspaw's name as "Catspay".


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Hilary
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 03:11 PM

Two signs I've seen :

In the beer garden of a pub : 'No dogs aloud'

And 'For sale - six birth caravan'

Hilary


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: MudGuard
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 03:41 PM

Millenium instead of Millennium, found on many occasions.

Millennium (the correct spelling) derives from Latin Mille (thousand) and Latin annus (year).

Now what does Millenium derive from? Mille is the same as above, but the rest...


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 05:12 PM

LOL Sharon....I have done the same thing myself!!! Also signed as Sapw, Spaqw, S[aw, and several others!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 05:55 PM

Mr Happy, have you checked out the song Major General Worthington?

(He's found on every bottle front and can't be done without)

Actually, I haven't checked if it is here!.

And bert, when were you in Saudi? I was there 1974 to 76 and I still have a batch of those pencils!


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:01 PM

No, I can't find any reference - unless anyone knows where it is to be found, I may have to dig out the tape of Barry Dransfield in concert (c1973) and transcribe. I think he said he got it from his father.

The chorus goes

I'm Major General Worthington, Worthington, Worthington,
You can see all the medals that I have not won
I have not one
I have not one
And when I came home from Africay
In the month of May
The Queen did say
Will you have a VC
I said not me
I'd rather have a bottle of Worthington

I presume it was music hall era.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:06 PM

I missed a line out!

after the last 'I have not one' there is:

And I don't give a **** if I never get one


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:11 PM

The there was the man from the North of England who had a headstone made for his departed wife .."She was thine" When he went to see it they had made a 'typo' and the stone read " She was thin". He told them of course, explaining that they had left the 'e' out. Next time he visited, the stone read " E she was thin "

Doc


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:18 PM

You guys are CONTAGIOUS - Just now I was typing out a list of song titles, and when I re-read it I found instead of "Fields Of Gold" I had put "Fields Of Golf".

Gotta stop spending so much time in this thread...


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:19 PM

Dagenham Doc - where from ? I used to live in Chadwell Heath. My father managed Dagenham FC (now merged with Redbridge) in about 1960.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:51 PM

Just realised, I mixed up two songs. The 'bottle-front' quote is from General Guinness, (as recorded by Boys of the Lough) not Major General Worthington!

Understandable mistake, I suppose.


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 02 - 01:55 PM

Hand written sign on a Ladies Room door: "Out Of Oder"


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM

CarolC. Sorry, but if I'd had the one I am about to print, I'd have left you with yours. As for the critter I am holding in the picture, it's a loooooong loooong story...and yes, he's wearing a kilt.

GUEST,Nick penned: A real estate typo- House has 30' dick (deck)

I had heard this one went: "House has huge dick, great for entertainment". Probably an urban legend, but it had me *howling* with laughter tonight when I first heard it.

And lastly, my honey has gifted me with this rare gem: At Computerworld.com in the "sharktank", there was a story about a company who used a series of letters preceding a users name as their network ID. So, your network name might be woqxfsuzie, which many people evidentally found sort of difficult to remember. They had the wonderful idea of shortening all the beginning letters simply to the letter P. Which satisfied most the users fairly well...

All except "rick".


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 02:19 AM

Once saw a comment in a Northern England paper which asked for assistance in the matter of retrieving the wallet belonging to a local councillor who first discovered it was missing in the R----H---, a "well known local pubic house" HMMMM!


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Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: MARINER
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 08:45 AM

Some years back I spotted a typo in the district notes of my local paper. Refering to the passing of a well known local lady the column said "She was a fiend to many", dropping the "r" from friend. I think it was a typo anyway.


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