mudcat.org: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeawe

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


BS: Most hilarious type-o's

Celtic Soul 25 Apr 02 - 09:52 PM
khandu 25 Apr 02 - 10:05 PM
Bert 25 Apr 02 - 11:43 PM
GUEST,MarkS(at work) 25 Apr 02 - 11:55 PM
Jon Freeman 26 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM
Ebbie 26 Apr 02 - 01:17 AM
GUEST,pavane 26 Apr 02 - 02:28 AM
Hrothgar 26 Apr 02 - 02:56 AM
Bert 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 AM
Pete Jennings 26 Apr 02 - 04:18 AM
CarolC 26 Apr 02 - 04:37 AM
CarolC 26 Apr 02 - 05:38 AM
Bonnie Shaljean 26 Apr 02 - 06:02 AM
Nigel Parsons 26 Apr 02 - 06:16 AM
English Jon 26 Apr 02 - 08:19 AM
Dave the Gnome 26 Apr 02 - 08:37 AM
Nigel Parsons 26 Apr 02 - 09:34 AM
Mrrzy 26 Apr 02 - 09:42 AM
GUEST,mr happy 26 Apr 02 - 09:55 AM
GUEST,Nick 26 Apr 02 - 09:59 AM
Midchuck 26 Apr 02 - 10:13 AM
Mad4Mud 26 Apr 02 - 10:40 AM
DMcG 26 Apr 02 - 10:43 AM
SINSULL 26 Apr 02 - 11:44 AM
Pseudolus 26 Apr 02 - 11:46 AM
Watson 26 Apr 02 - 12:00 PM
Bonnie Shaljean 26 Apr 02 - 12:02 PM
GUEST,Nerd (at work) 26 Apr 02 - 12:16 PM
Bill D 26 Apr 02 - 01:05 PM
alinact 26 Apr 02 - 01:24 PM
alinact 26 Apr 02 - 01:29 PM
catspaw49 26 Apr 02 - 01:41 PM
Wolfgang 26 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM
Mr Red 26 Apr 02 - 02:30 PM
Deda 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 PM
SharonA 26 Apr 02 - 03:07 PM
Hilary 26 Apr 02 - 03:11 PM
MudGuard 26 Apr 02 - 03:41 PM
catspaw49 26 Apr 02 - 05:12 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 05:55 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:01 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:06 PM
GUEST,Dagenham Doc 26 Apr 02 - 06:11 PM
Bonnie Shaljean 26 Apr 02 - 06:18 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:19 PM
pavane 26 Apr 02 - 06:51 PM
SINSULL 27 Apr 02 - 01:55 PM
Celtic Soul 28 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM
GUEST,Boab 28 Apr 02 - 02:19 AM
MARINER 28 Apr 02 - 08:45 AM
JedMarum 28 Apr 02 - 09:59 AM
Hawker 28 Apr 02 - 11:15 AM
Snuffy 28 Apr 02 - 12:46 PM
Nemesis 28 Apr 02 - 05:16 PM
pastorpest 28 Apr 02 - 08:51 PM
NH Dave 28 Apr 02 - 09:01 PM
sophocleese 28 Apr 02 - 09:39 PM
GUEST,Aldus 29 Apr 02 - 09:16 AM
KingBrilliant 29 Apr 02 - 09:40 AM
bradfordian 29 Apr 02 - 10:52 AM
Grab 29 Apr 02 - 11:42 AM
Margo 29 Apr 02 - 01:13 PM
Janie 29 Apr 02 - 04:55 PM
Janie 29 Apr 02 - 04:59 PM
annamill 29 Apr 02 - 05:40 PM
Nemesis 29 Apr 02 - 05:58 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 02 - 06:03 PM
Herga Kitty 29 Apr 02 - 07:02 PM
Yorkshire Tony 29 Apr 02 - 08:15 PM
Steve Parkes 30 Apr 02 - 03:18 AM
Mr Happy 01 May 02 - 06:42 AM
GUEST,micca at work 01 May 02 - 07:19 AM
Herga Kitty 01 May 02 - 03:19 PM
Genie 02 May 02 - 03:05 AM
Genie 02 May 02 - 03:20 AM
Nigel Parsons 02 May 02 - 04:24 AM
Bullfrog Jones 02 May 02 - 05:14 AM
Genie 02 May 02 - 06:00 AM
Nigel Parsons 02 May 02 - 06:08 AM
KingBrilliant 02 May 02 - 06:16 AM
GUEST,happiness 02 May 02 - 06:33 AM
GUEST,Firecat at college 02 May 02 - 07:03 AM
Genie 03 May 02 - 12:36 AM
GUEST,mr happy 03 May 02 - 07:24 PM
Firecat 04 May 02 - 10:20 AM
Ebbie 04 May 02 - 07:57 PM
Bullfrog Jones 05 May 02 - 06:09 AM
GUEST,Lesley 05 May 02 - 11:00 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:








Subject: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 09:52 PM

Thanks one and all, for all the humour of late. Just what the Doc ordered. So, to continue the trend, I'm going to steal this one from CarolC's refrigerator of many a moons ago...

Some religious paper was trying to quote the bible verse that says; "This is the Lords doing, and it is great in our eyes".

They pooched it badly however by leaving out the "i" in "doing".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: khandu
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 10:05 PM

Fort Worth Star Telegram in the mid eighties had a headline regarding a raid at a topless bar, "Eight arrested on Exposing Counts". They left out the "o" in counts.

Dallas paper had an ad in the lost and found: Lost one long-eared black female. Call ***-****

khandu


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bert
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 11:43 PM

Legend (or maybe folklore) has it that, in the days of The Empire, the Times once ran a report on a royal function. They meant to write "Queen Victoria passed through The Admiralty Arch" But they put an "i" in passed instead of the "a".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,MarkS(at work)
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 11:55 PM

Or how about the Sinclair oil company sign, on which the "C" burned out?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM

I've probably said this one before but my own was chatting to Jeri on ICQ and mentioning a computer problem. It came out as my hard dick problem...

Jon


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:17 AM

I myself found a typo in a Notary Public pamphlet. Inside was a foreword by Lt. Governor Fran Ulmer. The third paragraph began heartily: "The office and function of the Notary Pubic system has a long and honorable history."

I brought it to the attention of the Director. About three months later a new manual was issued with the offending word corrected.

I still think that #1: it was put in purposely by someone and #2: I was not the first one to have noticed it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:28 AM

I still have a copy of an advertisement from over 20 years ago, for WANG computers, where they made a mistake with the last letter of the company name, replacing it with K.

I also have some pencils from ARAMCO in Saudi Arabia, on which a safety slogan was inscribed. It reads

INSPECT TOOL BEFORE USE

(I know it's not a typo, but still...)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Hrothgar
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:56 AM

And the winner is............

The Wicked Bible that was printed about 150 years ago that said "Thou shalt commit adultery."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bert
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 AM

Gawd pavane, I remember those pencils from when I worked for Aramco. Somewhere I still have a progress report which reads something like this ...due to the Holy Month of Ramadan the project will fall 90 days behind schedule...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 04:18 AM

Here's an imaginary typo: my old mate Stan Arnold used to use this joke in his stage act.

"I wrote to that Elton John asking if I could get together with him to write some songs. I was really excited when I got a reply, but disappointed to see that it only said 'No, you cant'. Just as well, really, cos he couldn't even spell that properly".

Pete


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 04:37 AM

Hey Ms Soul! I wouldn't have minded you stealing my typo so much if you hadn't taken the refrigerator with it!

;-)

( ...now I don't have a typo for this thread, and my beer's gone too!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 05:38 AM

Heh! I just saw your pictures in the resources pages. What's that critter that's gnawing on your face in the top one? Is that thing wearing a kilt?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:02 AM

The mischief makers on my keyboard are the I and O, because they're right next to each other, which yield such gems as Westmonster, and the Dike of Norfolk.

But my favourite was a poster for a lute recital which a friend was giving. He was good at calligraphy so he hand-lettered his own poster, which (after an entire night's work) elegantly annouced his forthcoming Lute Recital. Only problem was, he left the "I" out of Recital.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:16 AM

Bonnie: if you confuse the I and O, what was meant by the "Doke of Norfolk" ?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: English Jon
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 08:19 AM

U is also next to the I!!!

This lute player, wouldn't be a certain Mr. Eisner, by any chance?!!

EJ


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 08:37 AM

Actualy seen in local papers (by me!)

One of our local folk acts being advertised as "Geroff Higginbottom" - Sorry Geoff. Guess they just didn't like you...

But my favourite was the advert for the gadget that removed unwanted hair from nose and ars :-)

Cheers

DtG


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:34 AM

Not a "Typo", but a necessary explanation of a sign.
I've just had an hours break from the net to do some painting, and, knowing I'm not the only pedant around here, I've hung the sign.
!
Wet paint in downstairs W.C.
This is a caution.
Notan instruction
!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:42 AM

I miss the little typo's with snide comments that used to be in the New Yorker...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,mr happy
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:55 AM

Apology notice in Liverpool Echo.

They had printed in a report on battle heroics:

'Major Baldwin, bottle scarred veteran of two world wars'

The notice made the neccessary statements of contrition, and went on to say, 'of course the sentence should have read; "battle scared"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 09:59 AM

A real estate typo-

House has 30' dick (deck)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Midchuck
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 10:13 AM

Bought a bicycle some years ago, made in Japan.

Good machine. Instruction manual contained a reference to the "shifting mechanism," in which the "f" in "shifting" had been printed as another "t."

Peter.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mad4Mud
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 10:40 AM

I run reports at work and one is just entitled "daily". In order to view the report I have to type "list daily". One morning my finger slipped and I ended up typing in "lust daily". I thought that was a pretty good motto myself! ;-)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: DMcG
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 10:43 AM

Mrzzy - if you miss the New Yorker's typos column, try could try buying the Saturday edition of the UK Guardian which runs something similar. Here's one from this weeks from a hotel safety leaflet

IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO LEAVE YOUR ROOM
- call the reception
- seal all ventilation vents and door gaps
- open the window if too much smoke in your room,
- expose yourself in the window

(Hope I haven't added any more typos)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 11:44 AM

I've mentioned this before:
The awning at a local hair salon boasted "Unixes" haircuts. Took me a month to figure out that it was not a salon for eunuchs.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Pseudolus
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 11:46 AM

This fits the thread (I think!) even though it's not really a typo....

Years ago I worked on a Computer Helpdesk and users of the computer all had UIC's (User Identification Code). They were grouped by department so if you changed departments your UIC would need to change as well. One day I received a phone call from a woman who asked if I could change her IUD. I put her on hold, for the purposes of laughing my ass off, and when I returned she had realized what she said and was laughing harder than I was!!!

OK, so maybe it didn't really fit the thread but to be honest, what thread WOULD that story fit into?!?!?!

Frank


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Watson
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:00 PM

Sinsull's posting reminded me - opposite the place I used to work was a hair salon called Heroes, with its name proudly displayed on a vinyl awning over the window, but when the sun shone through it, there was a strut just under the "o", so it looked like Herpes!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:02 PM

Nigel & Jon - Yes, I realised I'd left out the U just as I hit "Submit" and my faulty text was being ingested into Mudcat immortality - so now my message about typo's has a typo. Way to go, Bonnie (at least I'm consistent...)

No, the lutenist wasn't Mr Eisner (or Eusner or Eosner) -

Has anyone ever seen a hilarious book called "Lost Consonants"? It's full of eye-catching misprints which have appeared in various publications. The only example from it which I can remember offhand is a news item about some minor celebrity attending a media function who was "greeted by a small but enthusiastic crow."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Nerd (at work)
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 12:16 PM

I was once writing a grant application and one of the advisory committee for the project (whom I was required to mention)worked with the Camden County Girl Scouts. I left out the "o" in County. Luckily, I noticed the error before the application went in the mail!

Also, the bridge over the Delaware River in Trenton, NJ has a big neon sign on it that says "Trenton Makes, the World Takes." When I first moved to the area, the T in Takes was burned out for more than a year.

variations on a theme, I know....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:05 PM

the Wichita, Kans. chapter of Zero Population Growth bought a rubber stamp to put their logo on some pamphlets....and no one noticed that it said, "Untied Wichita Z.P G."....till after thousands were stamped...so they distributed it anyway.

And I saw a stamp that a federal worker had acquired from the supply room...it was her proudest possession...it sternly admonished one to EXPEDIATE!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: alinact
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:24 PM

Not a typo (or maybe it was).

The Defense Department of the Australian Public Service used to advertise a position, the summary of which read "In charge of the dischatge of Seamen"

Allan


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: alinact
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:29 PM

Bloody hell - you wouldn't believe it wouldya?

I meant "In charge of the discharge of Seamen"

Allan


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:41 PM

How about a "Sign-O" instead?

Reminds me of a Roadhouse just outside of Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee, just north of Chattanooga on 27. Someone new came along in the early eighties and reopened this dive with a fresh coat of paint and a huge new professional looking sign out front. They called the place "Celebrate".......Sadly, the sign painter must have been paid ahead in trade, because one side was missing the "R".......still spelled wrong (CELEBATE)....... but even so, somehow you just KNEW you weren't going to get any action in that dive!

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Wolfgang
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM

or did you mean 'discharge of semen'?

Wolfgang


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:30 PM

I was told of a secretary who misread a bosses handwriting on an envelope to Leyton Buzzard - she thought the LC z's where g's! Maybe she knows something we have suspected a long time!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Deda
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 02:57 PM

Years ago, a neon sign advertizing a Denver restaurant (one of a chain) called the Black Angus had a few bulbs go out on, eliminating the letter "G".

(Do you have Black Angus cattle in the UK?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 03:07 PM

So far, I've managed to catch myself and correct this before hitting the "Submit" button, but one of these days it's going to slip past me: I keep mistyping Catspaw's name as "Catspay".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Hilary
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 03:11 PM

Two signs I've seen :

In the beer garden of a pub : 'No dogs aloud'

And 'For sale - six birth caravan'

Hilary


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: MudGuard
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 03:41 PM

Millenium instead of Millennium, found on many occasions.

Millennium (the correct spelling) derives from Latin Mille (thousand) and Latin annus (year).

Now what does Millenium derive from? Mille is the same as above, but the rest...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 05:12 PM

LOL Sharon....I have done the same thing myself!!! Also signed as Sapw, Spaqw, S[aw, and several others!

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 05:55 PM

Mr Happy, have you checked out the song Major General Worthington?

(He's found on every bottle front and can't be done without)

Actually, I haven't checked if it is here!.

And bert, when were you in Saudi? I was there 1974 to 76 and I still have a batch of those pencils!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:01 PM

No, I can't find any reference - unless anyone knows where it is to be found, I may have to dig out the tape of Barry Dransfield in concert (c1973) and transcribe. I think he said he got it from his father.

The chorus goes

I'm Major General Worthington, Worthington, Worthington,
You can see all the medals that I have not won
I have not one
I have not one
And when I came home from Africay
In the month of May
The Queen did say
Will you have a VC
I said not me
I'd rather have a bottle of Worthington

I presume it was music hall era.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:06 PM

I missed a line out!

after the last 'I have not one' there is:

And I don't give a **** if I never get one


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:11 PM

The there was the man from the North of England who had a headstone made for his departed wife .."She was thine" When he went to see it they had made a 'typo' and the stone read " She was thin". He told them of course, explaining that they had left the 'e' out. Next time he visited, the stone read " E she was thin "

Doc


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:18 PM

You guys are CONTAGIOUS - Just now I was typing out a list of song titles, and when I re-read it I found instead of "Fields Of Gold" I had put "Fields Of Golf".

Gotta stop spending so much time in this thread...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:19 PM

Dagenham Doc - where from ? I used to live in Chadwell Heath. My father managed Dagenham FC (now merged with Redbridge) in about 1960.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pavane
Date: 26 Apr 02 - 06:51 PM

Just realised, I mixed up two songs. The 'bottle-front' quote is from General Guinness, (as recorded by Boys of the Lough) not Major General Worthington!

Understandable mistake, I suppose.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 02 - 01:55 PM

Hand written sign on a Ladies Room door: "Out Of Oder"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 12:20 AM

CarolC. Sorry, but if I'd had the one I am about to print, I'd have left you with yours. As for the critter I am holding in the picture, it's a loooooong loooong story...and yes, he's wearing a kilt.

GUEST,Nick penned: A real estate typo- House has 30' dick (deck)

I had heard this one went: "House has huge dick, great for entertainment". Probably an urban legend, but it had me *howling* with laughter tonight when I first heard it.

And lastly, my honey has gifted me with this rare gem: At Computerworld.com in the "sharktank", there was a story about a company who used a series of letters preceding a users name as their network ID. So, your network name might be woqxfsuzie, which many people evidentally found sort of difficult to remember. They had the wonderful idea of shortening all the beginning letters simply to the letter P. Which satisfied most the users fairly well...

All except "rick".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 02:19 AM

Once saw a comment in a Northern England paper which asked for assistance in the matter of retrieving the wallet belonging to a local councillor who first discovered it was missing in the R----H---, a "well known local pubic house" HMMMM!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: MARINER
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 08:45 AM

Some years back I spotted a typo in the district notes of my local paper. Refering to the passing of a well known local lady the column said "She was a fiend to many", dropping the "r" from friend. I think it was a typo anyway.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: JedMarum
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 09:59 AM

One day I received a shipping order from the sales girl for a package to be delivered to an address in Tampon Strings Florida. She referred back to her notes and found Tarpon Springs was written down in her original hand ... I'm not sure if it was two simple typos or her subconscious playing tricks on her typing hands.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Hawker
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 11:15 AM

When I worked for the local paper, I sometimes, when the proof reader was off sick would stand in, and help out. I have seen many classic typos - here are a few that hold my memory.......

For sale, Praying Mantis - beautiful in sex (I think it should have been insects)

The bride, from Titangel, was wearing.... (should have been Tintagel!)

...and Robinson, our man of the match placed a fantastic shit in the back of the net as the final whistle sounded (I think that should have read shot)

Spacing errors can be good too, I had an e-mail about one such where a pen got stuck in a printer and jammed it, the office junior put a notice on it saying: Do NOT use, penis stuck! (space should I think be between the n and the i!)

And finally.... a little Cornish anecdote.....

The vicar of Helland, in Cornwall sent a message by way of a friend asking the Archdeacon of Cornwall to take a service on his behalf, so that he did not have to return specially for it. The telegram in reply read:'The Archdeacon of Cornwall is going to Hell and you need not return' Hmmmm......
Cheers, Lucy


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Snuffy
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 12:46 PM

As I mentioned in another recent thread, the Dukes of Devonshire owe their title to a typo.

They had huge landholdings in Derbyshire, and Queen Eleizabeth I meant to create the Duke of Derbyshire, but the scribe got it wrong on the parchment scroll, so it's been Devonshire instead for over 400 years. (At least, that's how it's been told)

WassaiL! V


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nemesis
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 05:16 PM

The Malawi Daily Times a source of tremendous fun back in the good old days of the dictator His Excellency Dr H Kamuzu Band, before democratic elections:

"The Presidential car snailed through the town as the people urinated and crapped in the streets."

"Pale Rider starring Clunk Eastwood" - next week there was an apology stating "The film last week was starring Cunt Eastwood"

Then there was the time the Caledonian Society set up the reporter who was intrigued by all these Europeans in "skirts" on Burns night and what they were doing with whiskey glasses and was gravely informed that they were 'tossing to the President' and reported it as such (probably a hanging offence in those days!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: pastorpest
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 08:51 PM

35 years ago I drove into Charlottetown, PEI. at night. An arch over the highway with a sign in neon lights should have read "Welcome to Charlottetown" but the "C" was out.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: NH Dave
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 09:01 PM

A local printing shop was reprinting an edition of the Bible, and the typesetters were having a contest with the proofreaders to see which department could trip up the other. Additionally, typesetting being an art practiced by older folks, while proofreading often got their help from the English department of a local college, most of the deliberate errors were of the bawdy sort.

And so it came to pass that the line ". . .and the seven wise virgins trimmed their wicks." got footnoted with the remark, c.f. circumcision.

Dave


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: sophocleese
Date: 28 Apr 02 - 09:39 PM

Apparently due to problems with forgeries our local Harveys restaurant "will no longer be excepting $100 bills".

I wrote this in another thread but I think its better here. On the back of a wine bottle: "Interestingly, cacti are uncommon in Canada, not because of a lack of a suitable habitat, but because of their inability to survive our winters."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Aldus
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 09:16 AM

Two of my favourites....

At a rummage sale...Fling Cabinet For Sale. In a wc. in Belguim..to flush turn cock to left.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 09:40 AM

I made a horrible mistake once typing the common cumputing term "cutnpaste".
Since then I often advise the use of a little c***paste when fixing bugs...

Kris


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: bradfordian
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 10:52 AM

Probably the same footballer refered to earlier must have appeared very athletic when the sports reporter/typist replaced the "o" with an "i" when it was stated that "he shot over the bar"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Grab
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 11:42 AM

I have a terrible habit of spelling "buffer" as "bugger". This is particularly a problem since it's quite frequently used in software. So far, I've managed to avoid any instances of it getting to a customer...

Oh, lest we forget, "Potatoe".

Graham.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Margo
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 01:13 PM

I have a problem with dyslexia in reading as well as typing. One day I wanted to type "opportunity". It came out "poopertunity". What fun.

Regarding "House has huge dick, great for entertainment" I actually saw a scan of that newspaper ad on the web. I'll try to find the page. There was a lot more there too.

But back to dyslexia.... they have those cash registers now at the store that have a sizable screen where the patron can see the purchase. While the cash register is unused, there are the words "terminal secured". Many times I've been shocked walking by and seeing out of the corner of my eye "terminally screwed". Life is fun when you're dyslexic (I do a lot of correcting as I type) Margo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Janie
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 04:55 PM

Years ago in Charleston WV there was a major controversy about texbooks and sex education in the schools. At the heart of the controversy was Alice Moore, an ultra right wing "Christian" school board member. One morning, the headlines on the front page of the Charleston Gazette announced "Alice Moore Attends Pubic Meeting." I loved it.

Janie


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Janie
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 04:59 PM

Re: above posting--instead of "Public" meeting. (One of these days I'll read an entry BEFORE I hit the submit button.)

Janie


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: annamill
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 05:40 PM

Sometimes, instead of writing typos, I read phrases or words, strangely. Once, I saw a sign that read "Jerry Vale, last night". I spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out why they would advertize that Jerry Vale was there LAST NIGHT????

Love, Annamill


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nemesis
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 05:58 PM

I was standing in front of the junior school notice board this morning and noticed a photograph of a child holding up a picture of a big pink swirly thing "It's a Gash" I thought was the title ("Dear GOD!" I thought "What ARE they teaching them these days?") Then I looked closer and realised it said "It's a Gas!

Of course was Dog a doughnut?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 06:03 PM

A verbal typo --- back in the fifties and sixties there was a British actress called Diana Dors, a sex-bomb in the Jayne Mansfield mould. She originally came from Swindon, where she was born Diana Fluck. One time she was due back in town for a big event where she was to be welcomed by the Mayor, who wanted to mention her real name but was naturally very nervous about pronouncing it correctly.He sweated and sweated over his speech, and when the time came he announced to the assembled crowd that he was proud to welcome back to Swindon Miss Diana Dors, "or as many of you may remember her, Diana Clunt"!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 07:02 PM

I quite enjoyed seeing "Artic roll" on a menu (it was the dessert section, but sounded like a nasty RTA). I also remember seeing a paper on 16th C vagrancy laws, in which "runaway husbands" came out as "funaway husbands".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Yorkshire Tony
Date: 29 Apr 02 - 08:15 PM

The Canberra yellow pages phone book currently has an ad from a bus and coach company which specialises in school executions (p271).

Once I gave a technical economics note to a new typist (those were the days) and my exogenous and endogenous variables came out as erogenous and endogamous.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 30 Apr 02 - 03:18 AM

Some years ago (over twenty!) a teacher friend of ours told us about an essay one of his ten-year-old pupils had written on "why it is a good idea for schools to have a death unit" ... to improve the lot of the hard-of-hearing kids, of course.

Steve


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 May 02 - 06:42 AM

while working my way through college,i had a part time job as a delivery driver.

one of my colleagues told me about the time that the dispatcher sent him to deliver at 'CAMODES',Foregate St., Chester

he couldn't find this place at all and after telephoning spoke to another dispatcher who deciphered the badly written address as 'C & A Modes'


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 01 May 02 - 07:19 AM

There is ,of course the pseudo typo, that amused my dear Sis Fin, it was framed on the wall of my office and said
We will win because we are the stronger"
The O was struck through and an insert mark and letter a put below the line.
There is of course the great also pseudo one in Robert Graves essay on swearing, "Lars Porsena" in which he discusses ,at some length, amongst other things the fact that the typeface for F and for S in the past were identical. He ends the essay with the line " and it serves them right the suckers!!!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 01 May 02 - 03:19 PM

Sunaway husbands?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Genie
Date: 02 May 02 - 03:05 AM

Then there was the Essex House hotel, in the neon sign of which the inital "Es" burned out.

One I read about in Reader's Digest a few years ago: A newspaper ran a story containing a typo that erroneously referred to a certain policeman as "a defective on the police force." When the error was called to their attention, they quickly ran a retraction, aplogizing and clarifying that "we meant to say [the officer in question] was ' a detective on the police farce."

Sophocleese, Your quote about cacti reminds me of the non-typo remark of Dan Quayle a while back:
"It isn't pollution that's harming our environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

Annamill, re mis-reading words, there is a "Clatsop" street here in Portland, named after an Indian tribe. It is right next to "Harney" street, and I used to live on Harney St. I could not help reading the street signs as "Catslop" and "Horney!"

Guest, your Diana Dors story reminded me of a story about a man who had a mnemonic technique for remembering names. He would associate the name with a physical characteristic of the person. One time he met a woman named Mrs.Hummock, who had a large protruding abdomen. The next time he saw her, he said, "Hello, Mrs. Kelly."

Genie


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Genie
Date: 02 May 02 - 03:20 AM

Someone recently sent me these typos from church bulletins:

•"Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers.' Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time!"

•"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you."

•"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."

•"The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel."

•"Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."

•"The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility."

•"Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. - prayer and medication to follow."

•"This evening at 7 p.m. will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."

•"The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday."

Genie

P.S., There were some other gems in this forwarded email, but they weren't, strictly speaking, "typos."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 May 02 - 04:24 AM

Genie: that last quote may not be a typo either. "Girdle" is the Scots equivalent of "Griddle" (or bakestone)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 02 May 02 - 05:14 AM

The Diana Dors story above was mine, but my cookie seemed to have crumbled. I think I'm all right now, though... I saw a great typo in the local paper's Christmas TV listings, previewing the film "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang".

BJ


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Genie
Date: 02 May 02 - 06:00 AM

Nigel, No doubt you're right, etymologically speaking, but in the US, "girdle" means something quite different from "griddle" today!

Genie


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 May 02 - 06:08 AM

Genie: similar really, cooking on a girdle allows any fat to run off, wearing a girdle merely compresses it!

Nigel


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 02 May 02 - 06:16 AM

I think I may have told this one before, but....
My dad was a working for the gas board, and knocked on a door on some enquiry. When told who he worked for, the lady of the house drew his attention to a letter she had recently recieved from the gas board.
Much embarassed, he explained to the lady that the letter F is very close to the letter T on a typewriter. "I am very sorry Mrs Tucker" he concluded.
"Well that's all very well, but my name is Campbell" she replied..........
oops..

KRis


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,happiness
Date: 02 May 02 - 06:33 AM

king brill

here's a similar story.

i had a friend whose family moved from scotland to live in north wales where welsh was widely used as the first language.

my friends mother went to answer a knock at the door and found two workmen in overalls standing there.

can i help you? she asked

one of the men said 'manweb!'

'pardon' she said

'manweb'

'i'm sorry, i don't speak welsh'she said.

then he explained [in english] that MANWEB was Merseyside and North Wales Electricity Board.

apolgies to strying slightly off thread- i guess this is more of a verbal type-o

cheers

mr happy


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Firecat at college
Date: 02 May 02 - 07:03 AM

Thanks! Now my friends think I'm mad! Mind you, they knew that already!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Genie
Date: 03 May 02 - 12:36 AM

Good observation, Nigel!

Genie


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,mr happy
Date: 03 May 02 - 07:24 PM

bonnie

don't give it up

spend your chill out time in this thread.

for me its a safety valve from the styress of the reel world!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Firecat
Date: 04 May 02 - 10:20 AM

I was watching the concert before the FA Cup yesterday, and I had the subtitles on so I could actually understand what the opera singers were on about, but they had interviews in the programme as well, and they were talking to a couple of the actresses from EastEnders. One of them said that she played the tuba, or as the subtitler called it, the "true what"!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 May 02 - 07:57 PM

Like Rick Fielding, I cannot eat a meal by myself without reading SOMETHING. If I don't have a book or a magazine, I will read cereal boxes, matchbook covers, placemats...

Yesterday I had nothing with me so I read my purse-sized tablet. On the back cover was a long list of frequently misspelled words. They misspelled 'villain'.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 05 May 02 - 06:09 AM

Firecat -- your mention of the TV subtitles reminded me of a great treat in store.... The Eurovision Song Contest with subtitles! Not only do you get to read translations of all those dodgy songs, but you see the subtitler trying to keep up with Terry Wogan in real time, and usually getting it hopelessly wrong. Highly recommended!!

BJ


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Most hilarious type-o's
From: GUEST,Lesley
Date: 05 May 02 - 11:00 AM

While on vacation in Nova Scotia a few years ago, I was amused by a sign that listed "ICE CREAM SOUVENIRS". I'm sure it was intended to refer to two different items, but I liked it this way. Packing those darned things in a suitcase was certainly a messy business, though!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
 


This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 18 November 5:22 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.