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Worst accent or what?

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GUEST,Liquor Lovin' Larry 10 Apr 02 - 09:19 PM
Celtic Soul 10 Apr 02 - 10:01 PM
McGrath of Harlow 10 Apr 02 - 10:02 PM
Alice 10 Apr 02 - 10:27 PM
Seamus Kennedy 11 Apr 02 - 01:25 AM
Paddy Plastique 11 Apr 02 - 04:57 AM
Paddy Plastique 11 Apr 02 - 04:59 AM
Fossil 11 Apr 02 - 05:43 AM
Nigel Parsons 11 Apr 02 - 06:14 AM
Watson 11 Apr 02 - 06:26 AM
fat B****rd 11 Apr 02 - 06:40 AM
Joe in the'pool 11 Apr 02 - 06:41 AM
allie kiwi 11 Apr 02 - 06:56 AM
Watson 11 Apr 02 - 07:11 AM
Letty 11 Apr 02 - 07:20 AM
GUEST,Ard Mhacha. 11 Apr 02 - 07:57 AM
Celtic Soul 11 Apr 02 - 08:05 AM
catspaw49 11 Apr 02 - 08:32 AM
artbrooks 11 Apr 02 - 08:35 AM
Paddy Plastique 11 Apr 02 - 09:13 AM
GUEST,Dagenham Doc 11 Apr 02 - 10:23 AM
catspaw49 11 Apr 02 - 10:40 AM
Alice 11 Apr 02 - 10:56 AM
Alice 11 Apr 02 - 11:03 AM
Kim C 11 Apr 02 - 11:20 AM
harvey andrews 11 Apr 02 - 11:26 AM
jimlad 11 Apr 02 - 12:00 PM
jimlad 11 Apr 02 - 12:16 PM
Alice 11 Apr 02 - 12:20 PM
Lepus Rex 11 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM
GUEST,Den at work 11 Apr 02 - 01:50 PM
Alice 11 Apr 02 - 03:29 PM
SharonA 11 Apr 02 - 03:42 PM
Steve Latimer 11 Apr 02 - 03:49 PM
GUEST,Ard Mhacha. 11 Apr 02 - 04:13 PM
Kim C 11 Apr 02 - 05:25 PM
GUEST,celtic cousin 11 Apr 02 - 05:59 PM
artbrooks 11 Apr 02 - 06:28 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 11 Apr 02 - 08:25 PM
JennieG 11 Apr 02 - 09:03 PM
Melani 11 Apr 02 - 09:36 PM
GUEST,Jack 11 Apr 02 - 10:11 PM
Amergin 11 Apr 02 - 10:18 PM
jimlad 12 Apr 02 - 02:46 AM
DMcG 12 Apr 02 - 06:16 AM
Bruce from Bathurst 12 Apr 02 - 06:32 AM
Terry K 12 Apr 02 - 06:40 AM
HuwG 12 Apr 02 - 09:10 AM
Geoff the Duck 12 Apr 02 - 10:06 AM
jimlad 12 Apr 02 - 10:38 AM
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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Liquor Lovin' Larry
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 09:19 PM

Without question, the worst accent I've ever read is Little John Cameron at Mudact.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 10:01 PM

Any film/TV show where they are depicting people from New England...no one seems to be able to get that one unless they come from that area. Even then, from state to state the accent changes, and so a person from one area may not be able to effectively pull off the accent from another.

The TV movie "Storm of the Century" has about a dozen or so people failing miserably at a Maine accent.

Ayuh...


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 10:02 PM

"I asked her how long she had been in Canada."

I wouldn't think most Newfoundlanders would see that as an insult. Technically the answer would be "since 1948", I suppose.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Alice
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 10:27 PM

Sister Act, a pretty weird movie overall, but the priest in the beginning sounds like he is aiming for a British accent, then lo and behold, at the end he is aiming for Irish ..... aaaaarrrgh. It is so obvious a change I can't believe they left it in the movie.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 01:25 AM

John Wayne as Ghengis Khan. Ward Bond as an Irish priest in The Quiet Man. Jimmy C, what did you think of Brad Pitt's Belfast accent in that film with Harrison Ford? I thought he was very good; the hard thing for me to accept was Harrison Ford as a kindly New York cop! Russell Crowe as John Nash - in and out of accent. Benny Hill doing American - inaccurate, but a hoot nonetheless. A few years ago, there was a television remake of Captains Courageous, the old Spencer Tracy/Freddie Bartholomew movie, with Karl Malden in the Lionel Barrymore role of the old Captain.Malden's New England accent was atrocious - as was most of the cast of A Perfect Storm by the way - at one point he referred to Gloucester, Mass, as Glow-sester. We all know it's pronounced Glosta, just as Worcester is pronounced Wista. Right, Kendall?

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Paddy Plastique
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 04:57 AM

There could be a yearly awards ceremony for this one... a statuette of Dick Van Dyke to the winner(s)..
Dunno if we'd call it the 'Dicks' or the 'Van Dykes'
I'll just throw in a few Worst Oirish nominations - Orson Welles in 'The Lady From Shanghai' - all that Abbey training shining through...
Kevin Spacey in 'Ordinary Decent Criminal' - where the Jasus is his accent coming from ? - 60% Cross Border 40% Mid Atlantic.
The supporting cast in it all sound badly overdubbed too - even the Irish actors.
As for the French - there's no shortage of accents over here, either, and dialects too. Haven't got a sharp enough
ear to hear violence being done to them in films - although I think it's a particularly Hollywood talent
Mind you, like English-speaking films, there is a predominance of people with bland unlocatable accents in most of
the productions. Christopher Lambert appears to be held in almost universal contempt, also, and is a
regular in the most-watched TV Satire show (Les Guignols). Somehwat similar attitude to him as you lot have to Brad/Keanu..


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Paddy Plastique
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 04:59 AM

Seamus, Benny Hill doing English was bad enough...


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Fossil
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 05:43 AM

For the UK contingent, here's one from a little known part of the country, Birmingham.

Noted for its distinctive speech patterns and vile (sorry, vowel) sounds (putting it moildly).

Real Brummies - Black Country types - always had issues with places like Solihull (pronounced "Sow-li-'ull"), a rich dormitory-suburban area south of Birmingham, which was regarded as either "aspirational" or over-refined and "posh" (sorta like Nob Hill in San Francisco, I suppose). People who lived there were all supposed to be effete upper-class twits, not real working class.

As a displaced Londoner, I used to work in Solihull and mentioned this fact to a Brummie of my acquaintance one day.

"Oh, Solihull", he said... "Where sex is what they bring the coal in...". I cracked up.

Say it out loud - it might make sense!

Here's another one.

Enoch and Eli are typical working-class Brummies. One day, Enoch is walking along the canal towpath and spots Eli giving artificial respiration to someone he had half-dragged out of the canal. The victim is choking up gallons of the dirty canal water and Eli is working frantically.

"Oi" says Enoch "Watcher doin'?"

"Oi'm savin' 'is loife, in't oi?"

"Well, tek' 'is arse outta t'coot, yaw'll poomp it droi!"

("Cut" = a Midlands synonym for a canal. Pronounced as written)


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:14 AM

Art Brooks: "Ubiquitesness?" surely this belongs in the George Dubya thread.
I know you spotted that it might not be correct, but the better version is the much shorter "Ubiquity"

As for accents in "How Green Was My Valley", we have a soap opera in Wales "Pobl Y Cwm", originally shown on only the Welsh chanel S4C (the Welsh transmitter eqivalent of Chanel 4). As the Welsh transmitters have an overlap with other regions, this was eventually 'exported' for use across the country. Pobl Y Cwm can now be seen throughout Britain. The fact that it is transmitted in Welsh is accompanied by subtitles on teletext. But... depending on the text page used, you can get the subtitles either in English or in Welsh. This helps both the Welsh hard of hearing, and those learning the language.
"Pobl Y Cwm" = The People Of The Valley
There should be a circumplex accent over the 'w' of 'Cwm' but I'm not sure how to render it in this thread.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Watson
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:26 AM

Fossil, you seem to think Birmingham is in the Black Country - heresy!


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:40 AM

Just thought, Brad Pitt's Irish (?) traveller accent in "Snatch". Sub-titles please.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Joe in the'pool
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:41 AM

Jimlad,

The worst accent I have heard, since the famous Dick Van Dyke one, is the Black guy (I don't know his name) in the new film 'Oceans 11'. He also 'plays' a Cockney and his accent keeps changing into an american accent every other sentence. He's obviously had lessons from the same school as Dick.

Joe.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: allie kiwi
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:56 AM

I'd be interested to know how good/bad the accents are in Hercules and Xena. It always sounds so strange to me to hear the actors speak so 'american', yet I'm sure it cannot be that good an impression.

The worst movie for accents etc that's I've seen was 'Dont tell her it's me' starring Steve Guttenberg. *sudder* At one stage in the movie he pretended to be a sheep farmer from Auckland, NZ (our largest city) and sounded like a cross between an Aussie and someone from some unspecified region of the UK. It was not at all pleasant.

Allie
who virtually requires subtitles when speaking with Jamaicans


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Watson
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 07:11 AM

Possibly a slight creep of the thread, but why do so many British performers affect an American accent.
I suppose we've come to expect it in popular music, but folkies do it as well... Why?


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Letty
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 07:20 AM

Ewan McGregor trying to sound English in Star Wars episode 1: eeek. (p) David Boreanaz doing Irish on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: cringe. (p) Letty

(yes, I watch Buffy...)


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Ard Mhacha.
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 07:57 AM

McGrath if it ever comes on TV look out for the accents in Captain Boycott, not one west of Ireland accent, and this was supposed to be County Mayo. Undoubtely Hollywood movies up to the 1980`s never got it right and they had no excuse considering the number of Irish in the US. Ard Mhacha.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 08:05 AM

Did anyone see that film with Tom Cruise (& I think Nicole was in it as well) some years back called "Far and Away" (I think)?

I thought Toms accent was fairly non-existant, but I'd like to hear what anyone *from* Ireland thought.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 08:32 AM

Enjoyable thread isn't it? Celtic Soul, that was mentioned back up the thread a ways.

The first time I was in Maine, I asked some info of a policeman and we spent 15 minutes with him speaking Greek and myself speaking Swahili.......or we may as well have been for all either of us could understand from the other. We ended up writing notes!

In defense of Tom Hanks in "Forrest Gump"..........The character was from Alabama, but also had developmental problems. The voice was quite typical of those with some speech problems and learning disabilities. There was a bit of southern sound to it although in most cases of this kind of thing, any accent is overshadowed by the voice pattern and texture. Working with kids and adults much like his character, I thought he did a fine job.

Artbrooks mentioned Pittsburgh........The average 'Burgher sound is something akin to "Brooklyn meets the Midwest."   Michael Keaton always tickled me in Gung Ho playing a guy from western PA which he is. He had the right sound in his natural voice and he threw in some phrases that I'm sure were not in the script originally. At one point he calls someone a "Jagov" which is 'Burgher for jack-off.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 08:35 AM

Hey,'Spaw...yuns fum Pitsbug?


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Paddy Plastique
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 09:13 AM

Celtic Soul, I think the full title under which it was released in Ireland was 'Far and Away The
Worst Oirish Accents Ever Committed to Celluloid'
Or was it 'Far and Away The Worst Filum Ever Made'??..


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 10:23 AM

John Wayne when he played a Centurian and spoke in his normal cowboy drawl, "Surely this is the son of God?"

Doc.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 10:40 AM

No Art, but I am from eastern Ohio not too far away, and my Dad was a Pennsylvania Railroad engineer and ran between Columbus and Pittsburgh. As a kid we were in Pitssburgh as often as Columbus. Those were the days of free passes for railroad families AND passenger trains, so we'd hop a train for one or the other a few times each month for shopping or other events. Columbus was (and is) pretty much plain, white bread, midwestern, but the Burgh was a different place entirely! Even as a kid I noticed the differences which were hard to miss.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Alice
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 10:56 AM

I've never heard a real cowboy speak like John Wayne.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Alice
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 11:03 AM

Curious where John Wayne (Marion Michael Morrison) may have acquired his speech pattern, I checked on his birthplace - Iowa, but growing up in southern California. Definitely not the way Montana cowboys speak (Gary Cooper was from Montana) but maybe Wayne speaks like a southern California cowboy.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 11:20 AM

Forrest Gump couldn't speak well anyway - that was all part of the story. I didn't have a problem with it.

I have been watching the latest Masterpiece Theater - Anthony Trollope's The Way We Live Now. All the British actors are really British, of course, but one character is a woman from Texas, and this has GOT to be the WORST attempt at a Texas drawl I have EVER heard in ALL my days. I would have expected better from BBC. Otherwise, the production is great. :-)

Jeff Daniels didn't do so great of a Maine accent in Gettysburg, neither. Sometimes it was there, and sometimes it wasn't.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: harvey andrews
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 11:26 AM

Fossil.... aware din urea..(a word in your ear) Black Country people are not Brummies!Yes, I can understand every word Ozzie Osbourne says.My wife and I need subtitles for any American film set in the deep South.And there are really two English accents, Received pronunciation...ie B.B.C. English, and your own accent, which can also contain your own dialect words which are unknown to people living only 30 miles away.Brummie includes "in 'is oil-tot" (very happy),"the lar pom" or "cludgie" (w.c.) "mithered" (worried)"miskin" (dustbin)"blart" (cry) "daint" (didn't)"necks wick" (in 7 days time) etc.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: jimlad
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 12:00 PM

In the dialect of my beloved county


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: jimlad
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 12:16 PM

In the dialect of my beloved county of Lancashire,you hear the following sounds:-

Ast binmanbin mam Has the refuse collector called.

Shiz as feawr as a gas cinder She is no beauty.

wers mi shoon? Where are my shoes?.

ahve nowt moor ter say I have finished speaking.

I hope some Aussies join this thread,I like the Oz for how much does this item cost? emmachizzit?


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Alice
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 12:20 PM

Kim C., I agree, the character in THE WAY WE LIVE NOW who is supposed to have a drawl is SO bad - makes me cringe, it is like fingernails on the chalkboard. HIT the mute button aaaarrrgh!


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM

Ah, I can't believe I someone didn't already mention (Coen Bros. masterpiece) "Fargo." Many people here in Minnesota thought the accents were a little much, but they're only slightly exagerated. People do still talk like that up north, with many variations (the Finnish-Minnesotan accent is my favourite). But having the Lundegaards and other people from "the cities" speak with it, while funny, wasn't really accurate. Unless they just fell off the truck or something, very few people under 80 would be caught dead with that accent down here. Minneapolis and St.Paul have their own unique accents (which have always sort of reminded me of a weak, Nordicised Chicago accent, but maybe it's just me), though most people here, as in many places around the country, speak with a generic "news anchor" accent. (I speak with a slurred, lisping news anchor accent, myself)

Just my opions, of course. :)

---Lepus Rex


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Den at work
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 01:50 PM

Was that Tom Cruise's voice or did they dub-in the Lucky Charms Leprechaun. It puts me in mind of the great Irish accents in the Irish Spring commercials. Keannu Reeves in Dracula, where the hell was his character from??? I also heard, don't know if its true, that the Duke in (The Greatest Story ever Told) was told by the director to speak his line with "awe" and Wayne said, "Aww this truely was the son of God".


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Alice
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 03:29 PM

I was traveling in the Yucatan and met some tourists from Germany who asked me (in English), "What does it mean when you are walking down the trail and you meet someone and they say, 'hawzitgun'?". (how is it going)


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: SharonA
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 03:42 PM

In addition to others mentioned:

Spencer Tracy in "Captains Courageous" (and everyone else who called him "Man-yool"!).

Leslie Howard in "Gone With the Wind".

And everyone in the current TV series "Boston Public"!!! Not even an attempt at a Massachusetts accent by anyone in the cast. Arrgh!


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 03:49 PM

Canadians don't have accents? When the whole thing with the Cod moratoriums were going on, CBC interviewed a Newfoundland fisherman. They ran English subtitles even though he was speaking English. I wouldn't have understood a word he said if they hadn't. I seen it wit me own oyes, by.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Ard Mhacha.
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 04:13 PM

In Ireland we have no trouble with any US accent, but we struggle with most of the English,Scottish and Welsh accents.

And I spent many years working in England and most of the people found my north of Ireland accent impossible.

I have many relations in Pittsburgh and the accent sounded as easy to understand as any other part of the US I travelled through.

Wouldn`t it be bloody dull if we all spoke like Thatcher or Blair, two turn offs, here`s to all the incomprehensivels. Ard Mhacha.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 05:25 PM

I thought Fargo was a hoot. A friend of mine, who is originally from Mississippi, said, "I'm glad somebody besides Southerners know what it's like now to be made fun of for the way they talk." ;-)


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,celtic cousin
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 05:59 PM

That's Picks-berg, yinz!

Spaw, wen y'were a yute did ja go don tahn ta Tree-Rivers'n root ferdem Stillers?... Git ott! Me, too! We were laffin'n nat...den weed go ta Primannies'n git some beers'n nat.(Sorry, I can't keep this up!) Translation: That's Pittsburgh, you!

Spaw, when you were a youth did you go downtown to Three Rivers(Stadium) and root for the Steelers?(American Football team) Get out! Me, too! We were laughing and that...then we'd go to Primanti's(local sandwich shop which features fries and cole slaw on every sandwich) and get some beers and that('n nat is a catch-phrase meaning 'other things' usually undefined as to what 'things' they were)

I'm from Cleveland...this translating of 'Pittsburgeeze' is exhausting!


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:28 PM

Cleveland...where the river catches on fire...


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 08:25 PM

Still here. I was surprised in Ireland and England that there were so many different accents. I love the Cork accent the best (easiest to immitate).

The scariest was when we were in Spain, no one speaks the Spanish that they teach in school in the US. I couldn't understand anyone except the newscasters on TV sometimes.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: JennieG
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 09:03 PM

Here's one from Oz Jimlad:
Many years ago now - gosh it must be around 30 years or more I suppose - a book was published called "Let Stalk Strine" under the nom de plume of Professor Afferbeck Lauder (alphabetical order for the rest of youse who don't live in Godzone country). I found it hard to read and just about needed it translated into English. The "emmachisit" story is supposed to have happened to the author Monica Dickens when she visited Sydney and was signing books, when she asked one woman what name to put the woman said "Emma Chisit" which Monica wrote...it turns out that the woman had asked "How much is it!"
And of course there are regional differences in both accent and idiom all over Oz too, which many actors trying to do an Aussie accent just don't get at all. We don't all talk like Paul Hogan - he is pretty much a caricature of the average Aussie bloke, thank goodness!
Cheers
JennieG


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Melani
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 09:36 PM

Daniel Day Lewis did a pretty good "American" accent in "The Last of the Mohicans," but then I don't really think we have any idea how people sounded in those days. Probably pretty English--or wherever else they came from.

Sean Connery played an Arab with a Scottish accent in "The Wind and the Lion." I was in hysterics over that, until I looked it up and discovered the movie was based on a real incident, and the guy Connery was playing was the son of an Arab father and a Scottish mother, who taught him English.

In the original book, "The African Queen," Humphrey Bogart's part was a Cockney, but in the movie he was Canadian. I'm guessing Bogie wisely opted out of trying to do Cockney.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: GUEST,Jack
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 10:11 PM

Nicholas Cage did a pretty bad Italian accent in Capt. Corelli's Mandolin, but I was too busy watching Penelope Cruz to notice..


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 10:18 PM

Cage does a pretty bad job acting...period...


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: jimlad
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 02:46 AM

I'm amazed at the response to this thread,I did'nt realise what I was letting loose!.

wrt accents I may have a tin ear for accents,I can distinguish between Canadian and American,North of Ireland vs South,and NYC(ie Joe Pesci,Al Pacino,And anyone from Soprano's)and the rwest of your great country but most others leave me in ignorance.

Can anyone outside the UK tell the difference between, Cockney(London),Scouse(Liverpool),Geordie(Newcastle),or Welsh.

Even harder for UK residents only,can anyone distinguish between,Manchester,Bolton,Blackburn and Yorkshire


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: DMcG
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 06:16 AM

In the 70's I moved to Newcastle on Tyne (UK) from Teesside (some 35 miles away). A born-and-bred Teessider came to visit and asked directions from a policeman, born-and-bred Geordie. They literally could not understand each other: I had to act as interpreter.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Bruce from Bathurst
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 06:32 AM

About thirty years ago, some fool decided to make a film about the bushranger Ned Kelly, one of Australia's many anti-heroes. Ned was the first born son of Irish parents living in Australia in 1855.

The title role was played by Mick Jagger.

The acting was execrable and the accent was worse.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Terry K
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 06:40 AM

I've tried to resist but can't any longer, so here goes -

Loyd Grossman doing Loyd Grossman

- there, I've said it!

Cheers, Terry


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: HuwG
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 09:10 AM

Many years ago, two presenters from the BBC's North-East studios, Mike Neville and George House, did a spoof teach-yourself-language LP. It was called, "Larn yersel' Geordie". It included some marvellous translations from Geordie into standard (southern, middle-class) English, such as:

"Haway doon Chinese, pet ?" "Would you care to dine with me, miss ?"

"Nip yeor tab doonsteors!" "Smoking is not permitted on the lower deck of this bus!"

"Gerraway!" "Really !"

It also told the true story of the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Apparently, Custer's scout was a Geordie. He raced back to camp and said, "Sor! Sor! The Indians is just ower that hill yonder, and they're aal hollerin' and whoopin' and beatin' drums".
"Well done!", says Custer. "Tell me, were they war drums ?"
"Why no, man!", says Geordie. "They were theors!"

Translation available on request (though it won't make the joke any better).


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 10:06 AM

How could anyone fault Sean Connery. American archaeologist in the Indiana Jones film, Russian submarine commander in Red October, Spaniard in Highlander and of course, English spy James Bond. His accent has never been bettered by anyone from England, Spain, Russia or the USA!
Quack!!!!!
GtD.


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Subject: RE: Worst accent or what?
From: jimlad
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 10:38 AM

Another dialect joke tha I bet nobody outside a 50 mile radius of Wigan will understand.

Officer inspecting a company of LF's (Lancashire Fusiliers):

You man! wheres your belt?.

LF: Ahve Getten noan

Officer: Getten noan,what does that mean?

Segeant: wor 'e means surr is he's baht


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