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BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners

GUEST 28 Jan 02 - 07:15 AM
GUEST 28 Jan 02 - 07:11 AM
Genie 28 Jan 02 - 05:49 AM
GUEST,pennpap@webtv.net 28 Jan 02 - 01:28 AM
CapriUni 27 Jan 02 - 11:18 PM
Bill D 27 Jan 02 - 08:06 PM
Bill D 27 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM
CapriUni 27 Jan 02 - 04:18 PM
Jim Dixon 26 Jan 02 - 11:25 PM
Mickey191 26 Jan 02 - 07:43 PM
cyder_drinker 26 Jan 02 - 07:19 PM
GUEST,mkebenn@work 26 Jan 02 - 06:56 PM
Rustic Rebel 26 Jan 02 - 01:10 PM
Biskit 26 Jan 02 - 12:42 PM
fat B****rd 26 Jan 02 - 04:39 AM
GUEST 26 Jan 02 - 02:54 AM
Lyrical Lady 26 Jan 02 - 01:18 AM
Jim Dixon 26 Jan 02 - 12:58 AM
Stilly River Sage 26 Jan 02 - 12:22 AM
GUEST,SlickerBill 25 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM
Morticia 25 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM
8_Pints 25 Jan 02 - 09:56 PM
tremodt 25 Jan 02 - 09:42 PM
GUEST,Oulmole 25 Jan 02 - 09:24 PM
Ian Darby 25 Jan 02 - 08:52 PM
GUEST,Irish Sergeant 25 Jan 02 - 08:10 PM
RangerSteve 25 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM
Desdemona 25 Jan 02 - 04:29 PM
fat B****rd 25 Jan 02 - 02:52 PM
Greyeyes 25 Jan 02 - 02:51 PM
GUEST,Chip A. 25 Jan 02 - 02:45 PM
Deda 25 Jan 02 - 01:27 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jan 02 - 01:19 PM
catspaw49 25 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM
leprechaun 25 Jan 02 - 01:06 PM
The Walrus at work 25 Jan 02 - 12:23 PM
Kim C 25 Jan 02 - 12:01 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jan 02 - 11:50 AM
Bill D 25 Jan 02 - 11:44 AM
GUEST,swirlygirl 25 Jan 02 - 11:16 AM
kendall 25 Jan 02 - 09:03 AM
Anahootz 25 Jan 02 - 01:53 AM
Ebbie 25 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM
Mickey191 25 Jan 02 - 01:20 AM
Stilly River Sage 24 Jan 02 - 10:45 PM
Anahootz 24 Jan 02 - 10:42 PM
Chip2447 24 Jan 02 - 10:38 PM
kendall 24 Jan 02 - 10:12 PM
SINSULL 24 Jan 02 - 09:57 PM
MarkS 24 Jan 02 - 09:40 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 07:15 AM

What if the World is full of care, if we haven`t time to kill a bear, Davy Crockett.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 07:11 AM

If at first you don`t suceed, PULL YOUR FORESKIN O`ER YER HEED, Old Scottish proverb. Wee Willie.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Genie
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 05:49 AM

Before moving on to THE CONTINUATION THREAD (link above), a couple of comments on posts in this thread:

GUEST,Russ, I believe it was Yogi Berra who (first) said, "No matter where you go, there you are.?"

Clinton, I LOVE this one you posted: Don't run, it makes you look like food. (Nature's Fiirst Law of Survival?)

Bill D ,
Gawd! That was prob'ly my favorite saying when I was in high school -- "It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide"
(Mad Magazine, wasn't it?)

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,pennpap@webtv.net
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 01:28 AM

I first heard this from my father 'Someone is bound to lose my son,sad but oh so true, in the games we play from day to day,sometimes it's bound to be you. =-=-= GIL =-=-=


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: CapriUni
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 11:18 PM

This thread may be getting too long for some folks's browsers to handle, so I've started a new thread here.

I've also been a bit audacious with it, and added a song challenge to the mix. I hope you don't mind, Rebel


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 08:06 PM

"Capital punishment is our societies recognition of the sanctity of human life."
-- Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah.

...durn...I never heard it explained so succinctly before!


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
--George W. Bush, during a campaign speech in LaCrosse, Wisconsin.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: CapriUni
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 04:18 PM

Heard from Manitonquat (aka "Medicine Story"), a Wampanoag storyteller psychotherapist:

"If what you're doing isn't fun, you're either doing the wrong thing, or you're doing the right thing in the wrong way."

BTW, Manitonquat's homepage can be found here.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 11:25 PM

Lyrical Lady: Regarding "Why don't you wish in one hand …" I posted that way back here. Can't remember where I first heard it though. Maybe your mother-in-law really gets around!


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Mickey191
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 07:43 PM

Love the last one. A cousin just dyed her hair blonde, her Irish born husband said, "You look like the ass end of a Kerry goat." Cracked me up.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: cyder_drinker
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 07:19 PM

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,mkebenn@work
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 06:56 PM

"BE sure you're right, then go ahead" D.Crockett. Mike


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 01:10 PM

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If dogs run free, why can't we?

You can get anything you want, in the good-will charity box.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Biskit
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:42 PM

#1.American by BIRTH and SOUTHERN by the GRACE of GOD!(anon.) #2. There ya Go! (McCloud) #3.The more I know about people the more I love my Cocker Spaniel.(I've said it so often,I claim it as mine) #4.God is Love, Love is Blind, Ray Charles is Blind..... Is Ray Charles God?? (some dude I dropped acid with a long time ago....)


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 04:39 AM

Dear Lyrical Lady, the quote you mention is used by Clarice Starling in "Hannibal" the book not the movie. all the best from the fB


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 02:54 AM

I don't have wrinkles. I just have too much skin for my face!!

If it's too hot in the kitchen, go to the living room! HAHAHA!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 01:18 AM

Remember men..if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy ..Red Green.

Chip 2447 ... "Wish in one hand and" etc etc ...I can't believe there is another person on this earth that knows that saying ... I always thought my M-I Law made it up ... at least she always said she did!

LL


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:58 AM

Some say the glass is half empty. Some say the glass is half full. I say the glass is too big.

I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. (Stephen Wright)

I'd give a hunnerd dollars to be one o' them millionaires.

It is easier to apologize than to get permission. - Admiral Grace Hopper

If you can't take no for an answer, don't ask the question.

If at first you don't succeed, try a bigger hammer.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:22 AM

Ian, "That ain't the way I heared 'em," to quote the Old Timer on Fibber McGee and Molly.

"Leave no turn unstoned" is the perversion of leaving no stone unturned. The reversed version has to do with a boy on a beach who leaves no tern unstoned.

"Enjoy the show Mrs Lincoln?" works better as "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the show?"

Ever the editor.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,SlickerBill
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM

PGA golfer, I've forgotten the name, but Australian I think. Was slagged off all weekend long by the press, but managed to pull off the win; "And to the press< I would like to thank you from the heart of my bottom".


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Morticia
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM

My mother, gawd bless 'er, uses the phrase " I wouldn't piss in his mouth if his teeth were on fire" to express disaproval of certain individuals....and for those baffling couples mentioned earlier " It'd be a shame to spoil two houses between 'em". My favourite of hers though is " I would, but the grass is wet"....never sure what it meant but I think now I'm older I can guess.

And, while we're on the subject, where did ....(upon being asked if you have such and such), the reply " No, but I've a sister in the WAFS excused weight-lifting." come from?


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: 8_Pints
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:56 PM

Don't mind growing old: just don't want to grow up!

Life is what happens when you're planning something else!

Is the first time one experiences 'de ja vu' really the second?

Bob vG


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: tremodt
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:42 PM

Some one was asked on a game show 'is it possible for a baby to detect light while in the womb?and the answer was "only if the mother is a ballet dabcer"

ron


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,Oulmole
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:24 PM

"There comes a time in the affairs of men, my dear Blubber, when we must take the bull by the tail, and face the situation." -- W.C. Fields


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Ian Darby
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 08:52 PM

Desdemona,

There's another one; "God makes 'em and the Devil pairs 'em." Also; "They'd spoil another couple."

(Thanks for the thread Rustic......)

Some more...

"As welcome as a fart in a space suit."

"Sick as a chocolate frog."

"As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike."

"Leave no turn unstoned."

"Enjoy the show Mrs Lincoln?"

"He's got the brains of a rocking horse."

"As rare as rocking horse shit."

"About as much use as a chocolate fireguard."

Regarding someone with a lack of charisma, "When he enters the room you get the feeling somebody just left."

On getting rid of unwanted guests, "Thank you, you have given us more than enough pleasure for one evening."

And, this isn't a one liner, but a well known film actor, (I think it was Chuck Connors) was said to have introduced himself to John Gielgud saying; "Hello Sir, I'm Chuck Connors," to which the man replied, "Of course you are dear boy, of course you are."

From 'The Goon Show'.

Ned Seagoon; "That water was taller than me." Gritpype Thynne, (or Major Bloodknock;) "Its older Neddy. That's why."

And,

Bluebottle; "I've got the sea in my blood," Ned Seagoon; "I can see where it gets in."

From a Tommy Cooper sketch; (Tommy holds up a small skull) "The head of Julius Caesar as a boy." (Tommy then holds up a a larger skull in his other hand) "The Head of Julius Caeser as a man."

I have given enough pleasure for one evening.. (before anyone else gets back to me.....)


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,Irish Sergeant
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 08:10 PM

Stall in men's head, Naval Air Station Cecil Field Barracks 812 "Jesus Saves. Esposito gets the puck. He shoots. HE SCORES!!" Tempus Fugit. I am the person your mother warned you about. Kindest regards, Neil


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: RangerSteve
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM

The snake gets no sympathy when he complains that his feet hurt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Desdemona
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 04:29 PM

These are excellent! I'd be hard pressed to come up with a definitive favourite, but my dad's always said, in reference to those couples that you just cannot fathom: "Well, I guess God pairs 'em off!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: fat B****rd
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:52 PM

Lavatory wall in Grimsby South bank Jazz Club 1966 "The secret of happiness is to like what you do not to do what you like" John Peel (The DJ) "If you can't be good looking, be funny"


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Greyeyes
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:51 PM

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence and blame someone else.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,Chip A.
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:45 PM

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Deda
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:27 PM

One of my own: Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

Mark Twain: People generally rejoice when someone is born and mourn when he dies. This is because they are not the person involved. (May not be exactly verbatim.)

I have to point out that the latin expressions above about bastards are both fake and incorrect Latin. Entertaining but not technically right.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:19 PM

Don't know about the pencil/lead line, but Dorothy Parker came up with "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM

"Lie, deny, and make counter allegations."

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: leprechaun
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:06 PM

Of most of my clients: Crooked as a dog's hind leg. (contributed by my Dad)

On life in general: It's great to be alive; it's great to be an all-American boy. (contributed by my brother)

On the proliferation of drug dealers in my little town: It was easier to remember all their names when there were only about a thousand of them. (mine)


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 12:23 PM

"Money can't buy you happiness.....but it makes misery a bloody sight more comfortable!"

"You can ride a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead" (can anyone remember who came out with that one? because I can't)

Or as I am want to say on occasion when things go wrong:
"In the words of the prophet - Oh Bugger!"

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Kim C
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 12:01 PM

I like to say sometimes - and I think I've said it here at some point - when one door closes, another opens. And if another doesn't open, the Lord will give you a sledgehammer to bust it down.

There was something my hero Dave Barry said once, that was a clever conglomeration of several old chestnuts - something like, grab the bull while it's hot or get off the pot.

One of my fave John Prine lines: I wish you don't do like I do/and ever fall in love with someone like you.

Spaw, it was a long time ago that I saw Zig. He was actually pretty entertaining.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:50 AM

No one plays with whiners. (playground wisdom)


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:44 AM

"Perspicatious propensities toward propitious propinquity predominately precipitate proliferous progeny"


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: GUEST,swirlygirl
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:16 AM

"Familiarity breeds contempt and children"

:)

xxx


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: kendall
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:03 AM

"He has given Sodomy a bad name." (Winston Churchill)


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Anahootz
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:53 AM

"I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then"

Rings rather true, no?


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM

Who was it who said about a certain man: He's invited to all of the best houses - ONCE.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Mickey191
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:20 AM

My favorite-You grow old too soon and smart too late. Bette Davis-Growing old ain't for sissies.> Totie Fields-Lord, if you can't make me skinny,please make my friends fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:45 PM

Mark Twain, in "James Fennimore Cooper's Literary Offenses": Eschew surplusage.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Anahootz
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:42 PM

Nullum Gratuitum Prandium: There is no Free Lunch.

Non Illigitimi Carborundum Est: Don't let the Bastards Grind you Down.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: Chip2447
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:38 PM

Don't get excited, don't sweat the small shit. Shit happens, when the shitcans's full...FLUSH IT.

"Think of it as Evolution in action." Larry Niven

Trying to swim in the deep end of the gene pool without a Life guard.

My dad says this all the time..."Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

(Insert your favorite organization, employer or person here)"....Is like a fan. If you stand behind (them/it), (they/it) sucks. In front of (them/it),(they/it) blows. ANd if you stand beside (them/it), (they/it)(dont/doesn't) do a damn thing."

As popular as a turd in a punch bowl.


Shit in one hand and wish in the other. We'll see which one fills up faster.

Chip2447


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:12 PM

It's GLISTERS ,not glitters.


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:57 PM

You can visit anywhere twice ...the second time to apologize for the first - Lou Sullivan

It doesn't matter where you are, it is your reason for being there _ Utah Phillips

All that glistens is not gold - I thought that was Rabbie Burns in his poem about the kitty who drowns in the goldfish bowl?????


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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
From: MarkS
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:40 PM

Hey Bill D - I remember. Right along with references to axolotls. Too bad Gaines passed on.

Anyhow
The first hundred years are the hardest. Easier after that because your chances of dying after age 100 are sooo slim.
I may be fat but you are ugly and I can diet.
Hiring that guy is like two good men gone!
And for the intellectuals among us,
Illigitimi casuum bonum non dabis.*
Mark

*Never give a bastard an even break.


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