BS: Get well, Aine!

Subject: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 08:30 PM

Áine, you may not read this until your back is a little better and you can stand sitting at your computer again, but along with the other Challenger!s and other Mudcatters, I miss your B.L.O.B.s and bon mots and wish you a speedy recovery.
Now, you stop abusing yourself in the name of landscaping, ya hear?

Sonja

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 09:07 PM

Yeah!! Just cuz you're attracting all those tough-assed titmice... tought titty top mice?....tufted mouseteats? Well, whatever they are, just 'cuz you're attracting 'em, doesn't mean you should pay for it by giving up on yore Catter hats!!

Love ya,

Bard Chanteuse E. Gregious

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 09:14 PM

Fockin' A!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Micca
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 09:47 PM

I heard Aine in far away Dallas
has been getting a little Bit Careless
her muscles are hardening
from far too much gardening
so rest or I'll paddle your gal ass

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 11:16 PM

Sweet Aine's lost her baby fat
And broke her buns in pursuit if that!
And now she lies, laid low by pain
While baby fat creeps back again!

But one stout friend won't be put off!
A proper hedonistic toff,
He'll have her heal her which and what,
Or else he'll come and spank her butt!

Fly west, across two major nations,
To offer this administration!
When Micca flies from Albion's land
Upon her butt to place his hand,

And there in Texas comes to be --
That's one event I'd pay to see!!
But male or no, I won't be modest --
My nickel's on the Gaelic Goddess!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 11:40 PM

A bad back is no fun. Feel better, Aine.

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: JedMarum
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 11:50 PM

Please do get well, Áine!

No poems for you, from me - but well wishes!

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 12:29 AM

If you had done stomach exercises, you would not have the back problems.

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Genie
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 12:34 AM

Ain't got no pome fer ye, Áine, but I loved Amos's!
With a threat like Micca's, ya gotta gitcher back straight real soon!

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 12:49 AM

garg, she is so gawddamn buff there are no loose muscles anywhere...she had two young garden service guys try to hire her this past summer to help them in their business. She's got the best looking yard in the neighbourhood!

Micca and Amos! BRAVO!!! Just don't make any promises you can't keep, boyz! ...LOL...

I made her promise not to pull any weeds, hang any bird feeders, nor roll any rocks for TWO WEEKS...she was a whiney titty baby, but promised she'd be good!**BG**

Aine....luvyadarlin'...now mind your katma! lol

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Genie
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 01:08 AM

BTW, Áine, I understand Joe Offer knows a good chiropractor ...

Genie §;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Liam's Brother
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 01:25 AM

Hi!

I gather your back is out of sorts. Hope you feel better soon.

All the best,
Dan

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Nerd
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 02:40 AM

Aine, we don't know each other but I know how a bad back feels and it sure sucks. I hope you're better soon; I love reading the song challenges and I understand you're the one to thank.

Besides, given your legendary buff bod I'd better wish you well or else when you're better you'll kick my ass (you listenin', gargoyle?)

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 03:21 AM

Bad back--been there, done that, got the orthopaedic mattress...! Get better, then take care not to do it again ... you know, it's a lot easier to give this advice than to take it!

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 03:45 AM

Áine ...

I'm gutted for you ...

Get well.

Beannacht

Do chara chairde

Aidan

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 04:48 AM

To the tune of "John Henry" – A get well song for Áine

Áine, she's a tearing up her garden
She's a-diggin' and a-haulin' day and night
Till one of her neighbours sneaked a look across the fence
And wondered "Why ha'n't I heard the bangs of dynamite? Lord, lord
Why ha'n't I heard the bangs of dynamite?"

Cos Áine was fairly shifting earth boys
She dug about a continent or two
I shouted to her neighbour "Better get you out the way
Else she might just end up digging you, Lord, lord
Else might just end up digging you"

The Texan human excavator
She's digging like a JCB
Someone better chuck a spanner in her works
Else she'll dig from sea to shining sea Lord, lord
Else she'll dig from sea to shining sea

And then there comes the sound of rupture
It's noisy as a thunderclap
And Áine's on the ground, and she's rolling all around
Saying "Fellas help me … I think something's snapped Lord, lord
Fellas help me … I think something's snapped"

The moral of this story
The moral of this tune
Is – sod off, there isn't any moral
Áine, chara, get well soon Lord lord
Áine, chara, get well soon

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 04:56 AM

"Get well, Áine!"

No!! Don't!!! I DARE ya!!!

LOL!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,micca at work.
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:11 AM

Sorry made a complete ricket of the above, it should read

Now our Aines the queen of the limerick
Tho disabled by vertebral trim rick
The cure for her moan,
The philosophers stone?
And a swig from the wizards alembic?

But to Aine we should not be meaner
But help her get well and be keener
And a ticket should proffer
To visit Joe Offer
And be cured by the hands of Christina

Get well soon Oh Celtic Goddess!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:13 AM

Poor dear. I have been there too. The physio route helped me. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. If you can get to the puter, here's something to occupy your mind for a minute... just got it...

More Clavenisms Volume 2.

1. Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.

2. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

3. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

4. A shrimp's heart is in their head.

5. People say; "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

6. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).

7. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

8. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit

9. Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

10. By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.

11. On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

12. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

13. Rats and horses can't vomit.

14. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

15. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.

16. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

17. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

18. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

19. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

20. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

21. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

22. A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

23. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

24. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

25. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

26. Cat's urine glows under a black light.

27. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Now, how many of you tried to lick your elbow ?

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:01 AM

I wouldn't recommend trying to lick your elbow or you'll put the neck out as well.

I'm sure if a pig lay down and rolled over on its side it could see the sky, if it really wanted to. Someone said that even when you are lying in the gutter you can see the stars.

The worst time I ever put my back out it wasn't strenuous work. I just bent down to stroke a cat, and I was transfixed rigid. The rest of the week I was flat on my back, with that horrible feeling that maybe it would stay that way.

Well, it won't - but when you're back on your feet, Áine, go easy on the things like stroking cats as well as the digging. Easy does it.

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:18 AM

Get well soon..................
.......... yes I did try to lick my elbow - just about managed it!
love
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:29 AM

Well, Aine, if all this elbow-licking and arse-spanking hasn't done the trick yet, acupuncture might help. And ice packs on the nerve that's firing its insistent little ol' pain messages to your brain.

Having endured a couple of nasty back problems that just seemed to land on me from out of the blue, I know how frustrating this can be. HowEVer, backs do heal if you be nice to them -- just takes a lot of love and consideration for your own body. (BTW -- maybe next year Gargoyle will show us HIS admirable abdominal six-pack in the Mudcat calendar ... )

Take care and come back soon -- ww

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:43 AM

lift with the LEGS, woman!

rest up; relax; get well!

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: The Shambles
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:43 AM

*Smoles*

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:47 AM

Saggy-Ass Tortoise arrives and says to get well.........Moves off slowly feeling sympathy pains..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:53 AM

Sounds awful, whatever it is. My sympathies!

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: SharonA
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:56 AM

Áine, I'm sorry to hear that your back is out. Hope it comes back!

Take it easy, and get well soonest, okay?

Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 03:32 PM

The Gal With The Verse Expertise
(Sonja W. Oates)

Our Áine was buildin' a birdbath one day
So folks could see tits out her window at play,
But the ground was so hard it'd make Satan pray
And it tore up her back like her jeans.

She was pushin' those rocks up the hillside,
One-hundred pound boulders and all.
Ol' Sysiphus didn't have nothin' on her
Till she hit the proverbial wall.

Chorus
Now she lies in a chair with the greatest ill-ease--
Our darling young goddess who tilled on her knees.
Her comments so tasteful all Challenger!s pleased;
Now our Cow Chips are all stored away.

Chorus (reprise)
Yes, she lies in her bed with the greatest ill-ease,
While the boys at the Mudcat cafe try to tease,
And her in-box fills up till she cries "Geez, Louise!
I'll be back when I'm ready.  Okay?"*
--------
*Actually, Áine didn't say that.  She's too nice.  But she may have thought it, understandably.
 
 

BTW, I didn't 'finish' this parody.  If anyone wants to add to it, feel free.

Get well, oh Gaelic Goddess!

Sonja

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 05:12 PM

Aine: try a heat pad. that works for me most of the time. Mean while A gradh, get better quickly. Kindest regards, neil

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: alison
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM

Hope you're feeling better soon Aine

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Deda
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:11 PM

For an ice pack, you can use a bag of frozen corn or peas. Alternate it (not immediately) with a heating pad. Rest. Rest. Rest. Come back gradually.

We miss you.

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:43 PM

BTW, if it's not obvious from the refrain, my doggerel-style tribute to Áine, above, is to the tune "That Daring Young Man On The Flying Trapeze."

Yeah, Áine, take your time getting back to the computer. (Have the old man print out this thread for you or read it to you.)

Sonja

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Den
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:47 PM

Aine my darling...

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Deda
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:35 PM

Silly Little Limerick for Aine

My poems and my arteries are hardening
Since she had that accident, gardening
My brain has gone numb-like
All my fingers are thumb-like
And my songs are so bad they need pardoning.

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:43 PM

Pray Deda, restore respiration,
And so cure your sad desperation!
Our Muse and song-Mother
Is bound to recover
From the pain of excessive gyration!!

And though it was gardening, we're told,
Her hubby is gentle, but bold
And the questioning's led
To which garden bed
And whose blooms by whom were controlled?

Love,

A

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:35 AM

You two! All o'youse! Excellent..I called her and read most of these to her, this afternoon...missed the last few postings because they hadn't been made, yet. Anyway you all had her in stitches and lots of "Ah's...that sweetie....and, Oh..." She was really surprised and pleased and misses you all!

I made her promise to call a massage therapist in the morning and/or her doc for some chemical therapy. Of course she is loath to do the latter, so let's hope she tries the former!

Thanks, ya'll...kat

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Hrothgar
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:12 AM

The reason ostriches don't bury their heads in the sand is that they might put their backs out...

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: JenEllen
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:28 PM

Aw, GG....take care darlin'. Nothin' more heartbreakin' than a weakened wench... love ya madly.

I confess, I tried to lick my own elbow. Gave up with the thought that it is WAY more fun to get someone else to lick you...(down girl)

green ducks and cookies,
datgirl

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Clifton53
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:57 PM

Ahhh dear Aine, there is no stopping you is there? First the fingers and now the back injury. Best wishes for a quick recovery.

Clifton

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:31 PM

Ah, that woman! She is in a lot of PAIN...enough to give up and make an appt with the doc, for Monday!

She asked me to let you all know that the Vicodan is on the way. Now, it has codeine in it and she gets a whammy of a twisted "second sight" when on this stuff. She gets chased by giant Lollipop People and all kinds of snakes (too many viewings of Indiana Jones?) Anyway, I told her the Mudcat Team would join forces and lick the Lollipop People to death OR take them down to a river, throw them in and watch them dissolve. As for the snakes...anyone here got the Pied Piper'ts tune handy?

Seriously, I am glad she is getting the pain killer, even if it does make her see things and VERY glad she is going to see the doc. I am off to post a new song challenge in a few moments.

Thanks ya'll,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: CapriUni
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 07:47 PM

Anybody up for writing "The Ballad of The Lollipop People and the Snakes"?

Sounds like Telletubbies mixed with Indiana Jones...

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 08:24 PM

Sure and that is a horrific thought! Aine may all your drug induced halucinations be pleasant ones. Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 08:59 PM

Aine:

Just don't play them C&W CDs while on that stuff; it'll really mess up your head. Stick to Mozart or something, and you can steer your delusions into a postiive vein, so to speak....

Love,

A.

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 11:28 PM

... or Amos has a lovely song about "The Moon On The Hill" that you could listen to...

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 11:36 PM

She was in a heap of trouble (pain/immobility/end of her rope with it) earlier this evening, until Dear Hubby got home with the prescription. I know she would welcome and appreciate all good thoughts, prayers, songs, candles lit, whathaveyou to help her through this.

I have been reading your messages to her and the song challenge responses, but it hurt her so much to laugh I felt like a sadist! More of an update tomorrow. Thanks ya'll....

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: CapriUni
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 02:10 AM

:::Imagining multi-colored waves of light settling over Áine:::

Soft green background for healing,
Pink polkadots for love,
and amythist purple stripes for pleasant dreams

Hope they reach their mark in all the right places!

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Genie
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 05:27 AM

Aine, so sorry to hear your back problem's not as mild or short-lived as I had thought at first. I've been looking for appropriate songs that we could all sing for you, but I haven't found the right one yet. Until I can find or write something more poetic, I'll just say I share the affection that folks around here hold for you and I am visualizing you soaking in a wonderful, healing hot tub with mellow Irish ballads playing in the background and the Leonid meteor shower overhead for you to watch while you recover.

Genie §:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 05:22 PM

AIne seriously. get well soon and come back to our dysfunctional little fold Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 04:08 PM

Vicodan makes me spit up. Tylenol 3 worke quite nicely without turning your brain to complete mush (or, maybe it WAS mush. I fell asleep instantly, therefore I think the pain medication "worked.")

Opium might be good. Or hashish ...

Ohpp. nivver mind. Wrong decade ...

Get better, ww

Subject: RE: BS: Get well, Áine!
From: kendall
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 04:43 PM

Speaking from experience, (I was born with a back problem) I sympathize with you my favorite Texas lady. Having a bad back is like a ship with a hogged keel.Useless. If anyone should ask you why elephants are gray, big and wrinkled, tell them that if they were white, small and smooth, they would be aspirins.