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BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!

Little Hawk 21 Dec 01 - 05:46 PM
Uncle_DaveO 21 Dec 01 - 05:56 PM
Steve in Idaho 21 Dec 01 - 06:01 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 01 - 06:11 PM
Lonesome EJ 21 Dec 01 - 06:43 PM
artbrooks 21 Dec 01 - 06:51 PM
JenEllen 21 Dec 01 - 07:03 PM
Peter T. 21 Dec 01 - 07:10 PM
GUEST,Jon 21 Dec 01 - 07:14 PM
CarolC 21 Dec 01 - 07:16 PM
Amos 21 Dec 01 - 07:26 PM
MMario 21 Dec 01 - 07:51 PM
GUEST 21 Dec 01 - 08:00 PM
GUEST,Paul 21 Dec 01 - 08:03 PM
CarolC 21 Dec 01 - 08:07 PM
MMario 21 Dec 01 - 08:08 PM
GUEST 21 Dec 01 - 08:15 PM
CarolC 21 Dec 01 - 08:18 PM
little john cameron 21 Dec 01 - 08:18 PM
GUEST,Nameless for now 21 Dec 01 - 08:45 PM
catspaw49 21 Dec 01 - 09:33 PM
jaze 21 Dec 01 - 09:36 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 01 - 09:40 PM
CarolC 21 Dec 01 - 09:48 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 01 - 09:59 PM
Hollowfox 21 Dec 01 - 10:06 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 01 - 10:09 PM
Bert 22 Dec 01 - 12:14 AM
GUEST,.gargoyle 22 Dec 01 - 12:30 AM
CarolC 22 Dec 01 - 01:04 AM
GUEST 22 Dec 01 - 01:14 AM
CarolC 22 Dec 01 - 01:18 AM
Chip2447 22 Dec 01 - 01:43 AM
Devilmaster 22 Dec 01 - 02:07 AM
gnu 22 Dec 01 - 05:19 AM
MMario 22 Dec 01 - 08:17 AM
kendall 22 Dec 01 - 08:42 AM
Amos 22 Dec 01 - 10:33 AM
InOBU 22 Dec 01 - 11:00 AM
Amos 22 Dec 01 - 11:08 AM
Little Hawk 22 Dec 01 - 11:54 AM
catspaw49 22 Dec 01 - 12:09 PM
Little Hawk 22 Dec 01 - 12:26 PM
John MacKenzie 22 Dec 01 - 12:26 PM
CarolC 22 Dec 01 - 01:32 PM
CraigS 22 Dec 01 - 01:39 PM
Amos 22 Dec 01 - 02:36 PM
Bill D 22 Dec 01 - 03:39 PM
Little Hawk 22 Dec 01 - 03:49 PM
catspaw49 22 Dec 01 - 04:41 PM
leprechaun 22 Dec 01 - 05:23 PM
catspaw49 23 Dec 01 - 04:30 PM
marty D 23 Dec 01 - 04:40 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 01 - 07:18 PM
artbrooks 23 Dec 01 - 10:18 PM
Rolfyboy6 23 Dec 01 - 11:09 PM
Rolfyboy6 23 Dec 01 - 11:10 PM
GUEST,khandu 24 Dec 01 - 12:41 AM
catspaw49 24 Dec 01 - 01:55 AM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 01 - 09:11 AM
catspaw49 24 Dec 01 - 10:43 AM
hesperis 24 Dec 01 - 11:47 AM
InOBU 24 Dec 01 - 02:51 PM
Celtic Soul 24 Dec 01 - 06:08 PM
GUEST,khandu 24 Dec 01 - 06:48 PM
CarolC 24 Dec 01 - 06:57 PM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 01 - 10:54 PM
SINSULL 24 Dec 01 - 11:24 PM
MudGuard 25 Dec 01 - 04:33 AM
MudGuard 25 Dec 01 - 04:35 AM
Amos 25 Dec 01 - 09:37 AM
wildlone 25 Dec 01 - 02:55 PM
gnu 25 Dec 01 - 06:17 PM
Little Hawk 25 Dec 01 - 06:58 PM
catspaw49 25 Dec 01 - 07:06 PM
Little Hawk 26 Dec 01 - 12:41 AM
InOBU 26 Dec 01 - 05:26 AM
gnu 26 Dec 01 - 07:03 AM
wildlone 26 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM
CarolC 26 Dec 01 - 02:33 PM
wildlone 26 Dec 01 - 03:03 PM
CarolC 27 Dec 01 - 01:08 AM
wildlone 27 Dec 01 - 02:25 PM
GUEST 29 Dec 01 - 02:03 AM
Amos 29 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM
wildlone 29 Dec 01 - 02:28 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 01 - 05:40 PM
catspaw49 29 Dec 01 - 05:48 PM
khandu 29 Dec 01 - 08:38 PM
Amos 30 Dec 01 - 04:58 AM
wildlone 30 Dec 01 - 05:08 AM
GUEST,Paul 10 Jan 02 - 01:03 AM
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Subject: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 05:46 PM

The dictionary defines "faux pas" as "a social blunder". Now we all know that Spaw has committed many of these, but I think it's time to put our heads together and decide which one was the worst of them all!

So...what could it be? Which was his most tasteless, offensive, embarrassing, inane, and bone-headed act or statement of all time? (On Mudcat or off it...)

One thing, though: I suggest we avoid the subject of farts altogether, since there's been far too much emphasis on that already...and it's the lazy man's way of defining Spaw. So leave out the fart stories, and concentrate on his more unique and distinctively memorable offenses...which are many!!!

Go to it, folks. Winning entry gets a free summer course (2 credits) at the WSSBA in 2002.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 05:56 PM

""a social blunder". Now we all know that Spaw has committed many of these,"

Are you seriously suggesting that our friend Spaw, he of the exquisite social skills and unfailing delicacy of speech, could perpetrate a "fox pass"? Oh, no, I can't believe it! Say it isn't true!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:01 PM

It isn't true Dave - If you will note the posts of the past several days. These are the true Spaw. Consistently kind and thoughtful, gazing into the eyes of his true love, and constantly on alert for opportunities to be of assistance to those who would be more road weary than himself. I am just appalled at the idea of Spaw doing other than the above.

And Little Hawk - how could you accuse our wandering mistrel of such?

Steve



But there was the tongue thing with the little rat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:11 PM

Admittedly, Spaw has made a number of posts recently which seem to emanate from a kindly heart, a perceptive mind, and a noble character...

But just wait till he gets elected!!! :-) I'm not fooled.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:43 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-Klahoma where the.......

:>}


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:51 PM

I've only been around the Mudcat for about eleven months. There have been SO MANY possible candidates for this high (low?) honor in that period of time that I cannot even envision the possibilities that stretch further backward in time. It has become clear to me that a kind, sensitive human being dwells beneath that sarcastic, flatulence-obsessed exterior. Huuum...must be the season... You veteran Catters go ahead; I can't wait to see what I missed!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 07:03 PM

jaysus...not like the guy ever lit a bird on fire or anythin'.... *g*


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 07:10 PM

....Or kidnapped a bird dressed in leather across state lines for unnatural purposes.

yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 07:14 PM

Little Hawk,

You strike me as being quite unpleasant

Would you care to give your real name, please, and let people from several continents poke fun at the stupid things that you've said?

I await your reply

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 07:16 PM

Actually, he came pretty damn close to setting a bird on fire...

Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 08-Sep-00 - 04:19 AM

There once was a bird from Orillia
Whose song was reported to killya
Till Spaw let one fly
Then it fell from the sky
Begging "Spaw, stop the farting please, willya?"


However I think my vote for "greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!" would probably go to this thread...

BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret

(...at least it would if I hadn't enjoyed it so much.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 07:26 PM

Well, not to resort to shillelagh law or anything, but there WAS the gaffe he made when he said:

"Welcome to the Mudcat, Little Hawk!! Glad you're here!".

Ah well...maybe his feet ARE made of Cleigh!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 07:51 PM

Don't forget the time he specifically told us he would be back from a weekend off the cat - and didn't show up! I mean, the man has to get his priorities straight. to let a little thing like a bleeding aneurism keep him from a social commitment!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:00 PM

So is the consensus that 'Little Hawk' is a piece of shit?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,Paul
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:03 PM

Well, I guess I'd put it more delicatly,

But, yes, that pretty much covers it

Paul


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:07 PM

No, you guys, Little Hawk's GREAT!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:08 PM

but remember - he's *our* very own little piece of dung.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:15 PM

Carol C,

How anyone who starts such a mean thread can be 'great'

Maybe you know something I don't


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:18 PM

Little Hawk thinks very highly of Spaw. He starts threads like this one because he wants Spaw to play with him.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: little john cameron
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:18 PM

Jings if ye leave oot the farts an' ither intestinal references there's no' much left.
Then again,fowk hae said that ah am a lot nicer efter mah aneurysm as weel. ljc


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,Nameless for now
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 08:45 PM

I'd say the greatest is getting caught in that motel room with Gargoyle


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:33 PM

Hey Hawk! Fo Paw this......

BBRRRAAAAWWWWMMMPP

So looking for my greatest huh? Hard to say really.....Do intentional ones count? I mean with the possible exception of your own lame ass attempts at keeping the Shatner thing alive, I am the undisputed King of gragging along the long running joke, no matter how inane, silly, tasteless, or completely stupid:

*Cleigh O'Possum
*His buddy, The Little Pissant
*Paw, Cletus, Buford, and the Reg Boys
*The Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed
*and it's new wing, The James Taylor Rehab Center for Catatonic Blandness
*Tiples and Noseflutes
*Peter T's above referenced Waylon Heron
*The Amish-Australian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner
*and your personal favorite, Major Tom, Psychotic Astronaut
*Let's Kick Max in the Balls (posted that one again today!)
*Generally Flatulent Related crappola
*Father Joebro and his impending baldness
*Mick's spud-stuffed thong
*Jeri's Dragonfly infested Hooters

And that's not to mention the other shorter term wackiness that I only let go of when someone is about to kill me, such as the latest with the New and Improved Gordon Bok Fan with the cookie duster HEPA filter. There's been so many of them foisted upon individual 'Catters that they escape my memory. What was I beating Carol to death with when she was up there visiting? Then the tasteless stuff (like the rest isn't) such as Leej referred to with Oklahoma reference (old 'Catters might remember) and beating Rick to death with the tale of Pedro the Implosive 12 String.

Sad but true.......Look up faux pas and my picture is right there. Extends right into real life too.......My sailing partner Bill and I sailed past the local yacht club's beautiful old clubhouse after winning a regatta, got out our anti-pirate yacht cannon (water balloon sling shot) and gave them a "moon salute" followed by a few volleys which broke off part of an old decorative railing and a raingutter downspout. They kept the crummy silver plate and banned us from competing for the season, even after we paid for the damage! No sense of humor.......

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: jaze
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:36 PM

Oh I don't know ,but it would probably have something to do with SONGCATCHER!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:40 PM

God, I love the GUESTS who drop in here...but not as much as I love old Catspaw49 (GUESTS...that is Spaw's entire name on this site).

Keep the kind words coming...please!

Spaw must be taking the evening off, I suppose, or he would have shown up by now.

GUEST, Jon - If you really must know, my real name is Wayne Jacob Caddlesworth the Third. I live in a tiny place called Dead Falls. It's out west. If you can guess which state or province it's located in, I will tell you even more than that. I am always kind to my fans, especially the really touchy and humourless ones, because they need a gentle hand to guide them.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:48 PM

Toenail clippings I think it was, Spaw.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 09:59 PM

Spaw! You rascal, you slipped your response in there while I was typing.

There, GUESTS! See? He admits to all of it. You humourless, toadying, pretentious little gits...eat that! (Oops...forgot to be gentle. Oh, well.)

Spaw, I am miffed that you would refer to my "attempts at keeping the Shatner thing alive" as "lame ass".

My dear fellow. William Shatner is a cultural icon of simply measureless dimensions. His acting is without peer. His reputation is the most well-deserved one in Hollywood. He sings Mr. Tambourine Man in a fashion which no one else has been able to match or even approach.

William Shatner doesn't need me to raise his profile on Mudcat. Face it, he's immortal and irresistable. My occasional references to him are only the humble acknowlegements of a mere common soul confronted by a collosus in the field of the Fine Arts.

By the way, I love the yachting club incident! Nice going! Tally Ho!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Hollowfox
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 10:06 PM

Fox pass!?!! He didn't make no pass at me when we met a coupla months ago. Just ask his wife. To quote a kat,"luvya'fox


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 10:09 PM

Got a question, Spaw. Has Olivia Newton-John ever been committed to the JTRCCB?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Bert
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:14 AM

A Faux Pas is a mistake. All of Spaws postings and insults are deliberate.

Although I do seem to recall there was one posting where he was polite and kind (not to me though). Now THAT one was probably a mistake.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:30 AM

An incestuous mutual admiration society?

Yep, this the "new" D.T.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:04 AM

Sometimes people like to play, GUEST,.gargoyle. Would you like to play too?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:14 AM

LOL ;-) You named this grouping well Gargoyle


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:18 AM

No GUEST. I think you're wrong. Some of us are just bored, lonely, and looking for some fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Chip2447
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:43 AM

HEY, LAY OFF MY COMEDY MENTOR!!! You people shouldn't poke fun at a living legend, I dont't care how obnoxious he seems. He's not obnoxious, weeeellllll, except for those obnoxiouly toxic pooh gas attacks.

All hail Spaw.
Chip2447, wiping the smelly brown stuff of his nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Devilmaster
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 02:07 AM

Chip won't be typing....

He'll be wiping his nose for a long, long, long time.

Steve

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: gnu
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 05:19 AM

He ordered two tanker trucks of Turkey Turd Beer for the Tavern. Does that count ? S'pose not, eh ? Be more in the class of a complete fuck up, not a social blunder.

Faux pas ? Can't remember one. Now, where's that submit button again ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: MMario
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 08:17 AM

geez, garg. at least little hawk and 'spaw are capable of telling the DT and the Mudcat apart. unlike some people.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: kendall
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 08:42 AM

Spaw is one of the funniest people I have never met. Little Hawk is intelligent, thoughtful and obviously has more than a teaspoon full of brains.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 10:33 AM

ANd Kendall is wise enough to tell them apart!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: InOBU
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 11:00 AM

Would you concider ticking at quite moments during the Opera a Feux Pas? - Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 11:08 AM

Obviously this thread is riddled with delusory trivia. Little Hawk, for example, has substituted his delusions about a certain second-rate, mostly forgotten thespian of yore for a creative contribution to the Cat. Gargoyle has submitted his delusion that the Cat and the DT should be called by the same name. Little Hawk has further added to the unreality by initiating a whole thread on the off-the-wall notion that Catspaw49 is capable of "false steps", social blunders, inappropriate remarks, or actions beyond the pale of acceptability in our society. It is clear from Catspaw49's iconic status in this particular environment that Little Hawk is deluded, and also barking up the wrong tree, has a wrong number, and is in other ways of error to boot.

Let's get real, guys!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 11:54 AM

Yes, Amos, and I am also "a couple beers short of a 6-pack"! (To quote a phrase beloved of the local hosers in this town...) I truly admire your command of the English language, Amos.

More mutual admiration, Gargoyle! How irritating it must be for you to have to read this sort of trivial fluff, which wastes the valuable time of the Mudcat on merely having a laugh or two, when we could be looking up the various different lyrical versions of "House Carpenter" (all 156 of 'em), comparing the differences in an erudite fasion, and determining which, out of all of them, was the first, and therefore definitive version...

Amos - to call William Shatner "second-rate" is hardly adequate...he sets a thespian standard which is beyond comparison to any other, I think. It is on a firm understanding of this that the William Shatner School of BAAAAAD Acting was founded, and upon this standard that its curriculum is built.

"To Boldy Go Where No Educational Institution Has Gone Before!" is our motto, emblazoned in gold above the entrance gates. We live by that motto every day.

Larry - Only if it's a VERY LOUD watch!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:09 PM

Actually Hawk, what Larry is referring to is the replacement mitral valve in my heart which at times you can hear clicking as it opens and closes. Fortunately I rarely hear it but it can be noticed by others at times and makes me an ideal candidate for Captain Hook. On the other hand, listening to it click reassures me that I am still alive......I click, therefore I am.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:26 PM

Oh, I see...

Well, I should think that would be the least of your problems when visiting the Opera. :-)

Did you ever see the Don Martin comic version of "Swan Lake", starring Fester Bestertester and Karbunkle? (speaking of opera...)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:26 PM

What the faux this all about?
Jock


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:32 PM

I used to have a dog named Fester Bestertester. But she never went to the opera. (Not that I know of anyway.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CraigS
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:39 PM

All that and no-one said a word about banjo players? I know Spaw has his theories ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 02:36 PM

I would think it would be To Mouldy Grow Where None Have Cared to Go...., LH. :>)

Old Spaw gets a new slogan -- He takes a licking and keeps on clicking! (Don't bother suggesting using the second verb in both places!)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 03:39 PM

...none of you have a clue!...'spaw's greatest faux pas was in reading Kierkegaard in his youth! It is obvious what that experience has done to his cerebral cortex. Cletus and the Reg boys are not improvised characters...they are manifestations of multiple-personality disorder!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 03:49 PM

I think you're onto something there, Bill!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 04:41 PM

My gawd Bill you may be right.....or not. It's a kind of Either/Or situation.

**rat-ta-da-boomp**

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: leprechaun
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 05:23 PM

Well, Little Hawk, you're mostly correct about William Shatner. But you shouldn't leave out that other great icon of the American Cinema. Of course I speak of none other than...Chuck Norris!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 04:30 PM

Norris and Shatner are doing a new Trekkie movie where Kirk comes out of retirement one more time and takes the Enterprise on a return to 20th century earth where they catch the grea-great grandfather of Kirk in bed with a ten dollar whore. Ably assisted by Walker, Texas Ranger, who kicks grandad in the nads and puts him on the straight and narrow allowing Kirk, in the future to be a person of virtue, but limited taste. Watch for it...."Star Trek, Part Pi; The Quest for Talent."

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: marty D
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 04:40 PM

Can't say I've been around for ALL your faux pas Spaw so I don't know if you've mellowed over the last two years. Were you as 'faux pas prone' in your earliest Mudcat days?

marty


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:18 PM

I'd say his form has been unmatched, right from the start, marty!

Say, that Shatner/Norris film should be a hoot...really BAAAD acting alongside what can't even be called acting at all! Wowee. Gotta see it. Who plays Kirk's grandfather?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 10:18 PM

I understand that Captain Kirk's Chinese houseboy will be played by Jackie Chan and that the maid will be Whoopie Goldberg. That way they will be able to cover all the bad acting possibilities and pick up on a few required stereotypes at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Rolfyboy6
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 11:09 PM

I'm a Tweedster and Spaw showed up at our board about five weeks ago, and we've had to call the exterminators twice and send out for charcoal activated air filters three times. It's comforting to find out that others are similarly afflicted. Possums, tiples, and flatulence everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Rolfyboy6
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 11:10 PM

I'm a Tweedster and Spaw showed up at our board about five weeks ago, and we've had to call the exterminators twice and send out for charcoal activated air filters three times. It's comforting to find out that others are similarly afflicted. Possums, tiples, and flatulence everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 12:41 AM

His biggest error: He did not concede the "Spaw vs. Shatner" election. Yeah, yeah...I know...Swap won, but... how many of the votes were won by blackmail, bribery or deceit? Any man of integrity would have readily admitted that Shatner was (And still is ) the sexier of the two. Not to say that our fair Swap isn't sexy, I am certain that there are two or three that would swear that he is, but come on... we are talking about William (Capt. James Tiberious (or, as stated on one episode, Talmadge) Kirk) Shatner, fer God's sake!!! (Incidentally, there was one Star Trek episode entitled "Catspaw". Coincidence? I think not!

His second error: His belittling of the Great and wonderful state of Mississippi. In fact, he has so grossly insulted us fine upright Mississippi citizens that we burn a cross in honor of him every Sunday night!

Nonetheless, I wish him and all the Catters a Joyous Christmas and a Blessed New Year!

Cookieless khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 01:55 AM

Where the hell have you been? Dammit Khandu, I really miss you and it's still so damn easy to trash Mississippi, but my heart ain't in it........It's just not the same without you. Judas Priest man, the other day I said three or four things about the Magnolia state......and not one Klan joke, or end of the eaarth reference....nothin'!! Ya ' gotta check in here alot more often. We can have a commercial washer put in to wash your sheets and all.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 09:11 AM

Khandu, you have won the prize!!! THAT'S IT! The crassly manipulated and falsified Spaw-Shatner election results will stand as the most outrageous election fakery of all time! And without a single hanging chad, either.

Only a drooling idiot bereft of sense or virtue would honestly assert that Spaw is sexier than William Shatner! Smellier, yes, funnier, yes, but not sexier...

Khandu, I am happy to say that you have won a free summer course at the WSSBA in 2002. The course will concentrate...on...the dramatic...pause! (One of Shatner's most notable acting techniques.) You lucky, lucky soul!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 10:43 AM

Ya' got some problems there Hawk....nothing unusual for you of course, but simply typical of a mind that thinks Major Tom, Psychotic Astronaut, has deep meaning. I'm sure that even Shatner can figure out that Tom is simply screwed, blued, and tatooed.......Then again, so is Shatner.

First, Khandu wouldn't recognize a falsified election if his ass was covered in dimpled chad. It's hard to think that "fair election" is anything but oxymoronic in a place that elected Ross Barnett as Governor. Then again, we had a nutcase like that here too. He had a plan to build a bridge across Lake Erie but had trouble staying focused on it when he decided to send the National Guard to Kent State. (Khandu and I have another commonality here in that Jackson State cane along shortly after)......In any case...............

Khandu would also be unavailable for the contest winning trip you mention as they are very busy down there that time of year getting ready for the next "season." There is so much to do what with making crosses and wrapping them in rags, laying in a supply of kerosene, cutting eyeholes in pillowcases, laundering singed bedsheets........It's just far too busy to leave.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: hesperis
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 11:47 AM

"Only a drooling idiot bereft of sense or virtue would honestly assert that Spaw is sexier than William Shatner!" ...

Hmmm, and here I thought it would be the other way around. Shatner as Kirk had to be the most unsexy "star" of all time.

And don't forget that the powerful pheromones in certain bodily odours can attract the hormones of the opposite gender even as they repulse the nose.

Of course, Spaw doesn't have allure of "star power" ... whatever that is... maybe it's like an odour?

It's a tossup. *sigh*


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: InOBU
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 02:51 PM

Of course Spaw is sexier than Shatner! Shatner does not tick during sex. Imagine the image of a sex machine that TICKS! Keep ticking old pal! Cheers in the New Year, Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 06:08 PM

Spaw vs./ Shatner? No contest...at least Spaw can act!

As for Gargoyles and the ubiquitous nameless guests comments. Guys, really...lighten up some.

This is one of the funniest threads I have read since the "Let's kick Max in the balls" thread.

Laughter is good medicine...you should try it! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 06:48 PM

I humbly accept the award on behalf of my fellow Mississippians who have taught me to smell a rat, especially during elections! Thank you, Little Hawk.

To my Dear Friend Swap, I say this...Nyah nee nyah nee nyah nyah!!!!!!

I regret that I have missed the Mississippi references to which Swap has referred. I am certain they were Mudcat Jewels!

I wonder now about InOBU's relationship with the aforementioned swine (Swap). It appears InOBU has first hand knowledge of Swap's ticking during sex. Hmmmm, I must ponder this.

I must go. I have a ton of sheets and pillow case to gift wrap for my loved ones' Christmas!

Ta ta,

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 06:57 PM

Doesn't everyone tick during sex? Hmmmm indeed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 10:54 PM

Good point, Carol. Besides, how do we know for sure that Shatner does not tick during sex. God knows, Doctor McCoy had a chronic eyebrow tick that could have raised the Titanic! (and that wasn't even during sex...at least I don't think so...ah...well, I don't think I want to dwell on that thought at all, actually...)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 11:24 PM

Swan Lake is a ballet not an opera. And the most outrageous version was done by Rudolph Nureyev and Miss Piggie. They aptly named it "Swine Lake". I attended the auction of Nureyev's estate and saw the above mentioned costume sold as the highest priced item in the auction. Can't remember how much...

I still want to know why all you died-in-the-wool Shatner fans did not bid on the first edition Star Trek magazine that went for a paltry $6.
Spaw is definitely sexier than William Shatner. Karen says so.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: MudGuard
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 04:33 AM

The point is, Spaw did not commit his biggest Faux Pas, he is his Faux Pas!

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: MudGuard
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 04:35 AM

Uuups, little Faux pas. It should read "he is his biggest Faux Pas"


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 09:37 AM

I think Mudguard is making a pun based on a stretched-out French pronunciation.

In that light, the sentence should sound like: He is his biggest foe, Spaw. Kinda like Pogo meeting the enemy and he is us!

Merry Xmas to ALL you madcaps fools and Mudcat foux,

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: wildlone
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 02:55 PM

The Great William Shatner Click here
dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 06:17 PM

What's all this ticking and humming during sex about ? Have I missed out on something ? I thought all the oohs and ahhhs were a good thing. Martha ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 06:58 PM

Wow. The "floating head of William Shatner". What an oracle. Thanks, wildone, now I know whom to consult when those really difficult decisions need to be made...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 07:06 PM

Gnu...so ya' know......I tick all the time. Last summer through Robotic Surgery, I had the mitral valve in my heart replaced with a St. Jude's Valve, a little metal thing that is activated by the normal pressure of the heart (no electricity needed) and as it opens and closes you can hear it make a ticking sound. I rarely can hear it except when I'm facing a wall or something but others can often hear it.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 12:41 AM

Which has been a big relief to the local sheep, lemme tell ya... :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: InOBU
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 05:26 AM

Well... as Clinton said, it depends how you define sex. If sex is posting to Mudcat mutual admiration, well, I guess I'm guilty!!! Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: gnu
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 07:03 AM

Spaw... You know I know... er, knew. I wasn't in my usual form yesterday. Something about Xmas that dulls my wit. Oh yeah, the booze.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: wildlone
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM

FED UP WITH BS
want to return to the MUDCAT of yore Click here
dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 02:33 PM

Looks like there's plenty of BS in your MUDCAT or yore. How did you do that link to the past, Wildlone?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: wildlone
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 03:03 PM

Carol C
I found a link to this site Click here
.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:08 AM

Woah... that is so cool. Although my cookie can't go with me to the Mudcat of the past, it seems. What an amazing resource.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: wildlone
Date: 27 Dec 01 - 02:25 PM

Glad you liked it, I am going to see if it can find web pages that have been removed.
dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 02:03 AM

INTERESTING Wild One

A handful of well known posters, which I guess are the inner circle, (susan of DT, alison, gargoyle, BigMick, BSeed,BillD, PetePeterson,HarpGirl, Roger in Baltimore,greenhouse) no Max and an awful lot more that aren't around anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM

Almost all of those post from time to time, Guest of 2:03AM. Some of them have changed handles though. PetePeterson is the only one I think is truly missing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: wildlone
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 02:28 PM

If you go to my second link and follow the instructions you CAN find web pages that are archived and not found by search engines
dave [wildLone]


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 05:40 PM

The burning question is, were there any threads about William Shatner prior to my arrival on Mudcat? :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 05:48 PM

Thankfully, NO! ...... And Major Tom the Psychotic Astronaut was not sorely missed either.............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: khandu
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 08:38 PM

Several days have passed since I won the treasured and coveted award. Christmas was all the more wonderful as I told my friends and loved ones about the award. Indeed, I was the envy of the Christmas Dinner Crowd, and have become the talk of Tupelo! It was even announced on our local TV station's "Morning Show"!

Therefore, I again must say this; "Spaw...Nyah nee nyah neee nyah nyah!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 01 - 04:58 AM

Khandu:

What are you talking about, pray tell?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: wildlone
Date: 30 Dec 01 - 05:08 AM

Amos the contest is mentioned earlier in the ramblings of this thread****BG***
dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw's greatest Faux Pas of all time!!!
From: GUEST,Paul
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 01:03 AM

The day his daddy't condom broke and he did not follow the rest down his mommy's leg.


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 23 April 1:56 PM EDT

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