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Farting in Public

Linda Kelly 27 Sep 01 - 05:03 AM
Ella who is Sooze 27 Sep 01 - 03:45 AM
Hamish 27 Sep 01 - 03:38 AM
GUEST,Genie 27 Sep 01 - 01:16 AM
Murray MacLeod 27 Sep 01 - 12:23 AM
DougR 27 Sep 01 - 12:19 AM
paddymac 27 Sep 01 - 12:14 AM
GUEST,John Gray / Australia 26 Sep 01 - 11:29 PM
Clinton Hammond 26 Sep 01 - 10:20 PM
Donuel 26 Sep 01 - 09:51 PM
Steve in Idaho 26 Sep 01 - 09:51 PM
catspaw49 26 Sep 01 - 09:37 PM
rangeroger 26 Sep 01 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,Jane L 26 Sep 01 - 09:27 PM
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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 05:03 AM

I own a thirteen year old dog with poor digestion -there is nothing that shocks me anymore!!!


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 03:45 AM

As I play in a band who are exept me and another all boys... You kind of get used to this behaviour.

Trumpet trousers!

The best laugh though was in a yoga class I used to go to for years...

Yoga relaxes... EVERYTHING!

and often in class whilst people were stretching, and holding yogic stances or bringing their legs over their heads etc, then someone would uncontrolable let one out. Much to their embaressment, and used to make me and my friend just crack up totally.

Especially when it was one of the more refined looking elderly ladies...

Methane yoga!

:)


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Hamish
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 03:38 AM

I sat next a duchess at tea As emarrassing a time as could be Her rumblings abdominal Were simply phenominal And everyone thought it was me


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 01:16 AM

The story is told about Queen Victoria, I think. The Queen was showing off her stables and her prize stallions to a visiting dignitary, when one of the horses let a humongous, foul fart. The Queen, being quite dismayed, blurted out to her guest, "Oh, dear sir, I am terribly sorry!" (or words to that effect)--to which the gentleman replied "That's quite all right, Your Highness. Actually, I had thought it was the horse!


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 12:23 AM

Reminds me of the ancient joke.
Aristocratic lady at table lets rip a loud one, turns round to butler and says "STOP IT, JAMES".
Butler says, "Certainly Madam, which way did it go?"

Murray


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: DougR
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 12:19 AM

It could have been worse. It could have been accompanied with attendent solid matter I suppose. Then you could have proclaimed to your audience, "Well, it happens."

DougR


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: paddymac
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 12:14 AM

Without question the most hilarious work by Mark Twain is a piece called "1601: A Fireside Conversatyion in the Time of the Tudors" (or something close to that - it's been a long time since I read it). The story line is quite simple: a horrendous fart at the table, followed by a round of denials. If you do, or ever did, think a fart can be funny, you might appreciate Twain's artistry.


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 11:29 PM

Several months ago a bloke here was taken to the local police station for questioning. He convinced the cops he was innocent and as he was leaving he let rip with a robust fart. The witnesses, the agrieved cops who hadn't been able to pin anything on the farter, said the fart was meant to mock them and immediately arrested him for "being obnoxious in a public place", or words to that effect.
The poor bloke was chucked in the slammer and, at his first trial, was found guilty and released with a hefty fine. This verdict was overturned on appeal with the judge telling the police to grow up as well as hitting them with the legal costs.
The irony is that it all took place in the town of Werribee, where the State's main sewerage farm is, and the aroma is most noticeable when driving through.

JG / FME


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 10:20 PM

Pull my finger...


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 09:51 PM

THE Mother of ALL farts occured in a Circuit City Store in DC.

Before Xmas there was a llllooong line of people waiting to pick up their purchased merchandise from the single 'warehouse' clerk. Some how one kid managed to choke the ENTIRE STORE with a fart soo foul so hideous you can not begin to imagine. People walking in the front door with smiles suddenly covered their face and left. Warehouse employees coming in with merchandise could be seen writhing their face as if in a sand storm as soon as they got in range. People who had already paid were determined to stay BUT IT ONLY GOT WORSE>A blind couple sped for the door a bit too fast-wham... The kids who tried to laugh could only cough , wives left their husband to endure while they evacuated. One hysterical guy was yelling my buddy did that, over and over! There were apparently several people who were honestly perplexed with the commotion which could only mean they had no sense of smell. After Xmas the building was merciflly remodeled with tall ceilings.


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 09:51 PM

Like Spaw says - Now what was the problem? ROTFLMAO

Peace - Steve


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 09:37 PM

BBBRRRAAAAWWWWMMMPPP

.....aaahhhhhhhhh......good one........

Now........What's the problem again?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: rangeroger
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 09:37 PM

Sounds like a case of quantum cloud entanglement.

rr


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Subject: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,Jane L
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 09:27 PM

Last night while performing at an open mike I was introducing a somber ballad song, and during the intro was treated to this horrible sound (fart) emitting from an emarrassed audience member (it was obviously not done on purpose). Needless to say it cracked everyone up and I did a rousing song instead. Anyone ever have any weird stuff like this happen to them?

Jane


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