mudcat.org: Farting in Public
Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeawe

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]


Farting in Public

Charley Noble 14 Jan 04 - 08:50 AM
Peace 14 Jan 04 - 01:06 AM
Lonesome EJ 14 Jan 04 - 12:46 AM
SueB 14 Jan 04 - 12:39 AM
Cluin 14 Jan 04 - 12:23 AM
Peace 14 Jan 04 - 12:20 AM
SueB 14 Jan 04 - 12:13 AM
SueB 13 Jan 04 - 11:25 AM
ced2 13 Jan 04 - 11:22 AM
Cluin 13 Jan 04 - 01:58 AM
Bill D 12 Jan 04 - 03:49 PM
Charley Noble 12 Jan 04 - 03:23 PM
Charley Noble 12 Jan 04 - 02:13 PM
Uncle_DaveO 12 Jan 04 - 01:09 PM
Schantieman 12 Jan 04 - 12:45 PM
Dave Bryant 12 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM
Cluin 12 Jan 04 - 10:33 AM
Dave Bryant 12 Jan 04 - 06:11 AM
Cluin 12 Jan 04 - 04:11 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Jan 04 - 03:45 AM
Peace 11 Jan 04 - 10:01 PM
Charley Noble 11 Jan 04 - 09:23 PM
Peace 11 Jan 04 - 07:50 PM
GUEST,embarrased 11 Jan 04 - 07:36 PM
GUEST,cinwop 11 Jan 04 - 07:30 PM
Liz the Squeak 05 Oct 03 - 03:26 AM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 05 Oct 03 - 12:49 AM
rangeroger 05 Oct 03 - 12:23 AM
open mike 04 Oct 03 - 11:23 PM
catspaw49 04 Oct 03 - 08:48 PM
Larkin 30 Aug 02 - 11:22 AM
Larkin 30 Aug 02 - 11:18 AM
Eldorado Girl 30 Aug 02 - 04:44 AM
Wincing Devil 29 Aug 02 - 11:39 PM
GUEST 29 Aug 02 - 01:40 AM
Big Mick 24 Aug 02 - 08:51 PM
fogie 24 Aug 02 - 04:59 AM
Genie 23 Aug 02 - 08:34 PM
Joe_F 23 Aug 02 - 08:12 PM
tar_heel 23 Aug 02 - 05:52 PM
GUEST,Fartlover 23 Aug 02 - 03:31 PM
Bernard 09 Oct 01 - 07:47 PM
GUEST 08 Oct 01 - 09:46 PM
Bernard 08 Oct 01 - 09:44 AM
GUEST,Genie 07 Oct 01 - 11:01 PM
GUEST 07 Oct 01 - 03:18 PM
CapriUni 07 Oct 01 - 01:35 PM
Bernard 07 Oct 01 - 01:05 PM
Bernard 07 Oct 01 - 01:00 PM
Crane Driver 06 Oct 01 - 10:25 PM
Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 08:50 AM

You may have missed this new Mudcat collaborative ballad inspired by a recent news story entitled "Methane Sinks Ships":

Words by Charlie Ipcar, Norris Dale and Mudcat Guest "Unwitting Muse", 2003

Tune: traditional "White Cockade"

THE BLOW AT WITCH'S HOLE


As we set out one evening, upon the Northern Sea,
Headed out a-fishing for to earn our daily fee;
Headed out to fish, me lads, we set our course so bold,
When our ship was (when our ship was),
When our ship was (when our ship was),
Overwhelmed, dragged down the Witch's Hole!

Our charts were fully up-to-date, so thought our Captain Brock,
Avoiding every hazard, every shoal and rock,
Yes, every shoal and rock, me lads, upon the Northern Sea;
And we cours-ed (and we cours-ed),
And we cours-ed (and we cours-ed,
By the Witch's Hole, that lay athwart our lee.

No rogue wave swept o'er us, no squid nor octopus,
No giant whirlpool sucked us down, we had no time to fuss;
There was no time to fuss, me lads, as we sank beneath the waves,
But we all stood (yes, we all stood),
But we all stood (yes, we all stood),
Resolutely, so valiant and so brave.

A silent threat but deadly, that methane from the Hole,
Rising from the gassy depths, amidst the dark and cold,
Amidst the dark and cold, me lads, like some monster from the deep;
And it dragged us (yes, it dragged us),
And it dragged us (yes, it dragged us),
To the Witch's Hole, forever there to sleep.

"It's suffocate or evacuate!" we heard our captain cry,
As he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his tearing eyes;
As he pulled out a handkerchief, and held it to his nose,
"We will never (no, we'll never),
We will never (no, we'll never),
Rise again from our odorous repose."

This was no bathtub bubble or some silly fish's farce,
But a blast of great proportion from the earth's own mighty arse,
From the earth's own mighty arse, me lads, the methane did arise;
And the water, (yes, the water),
And the water, (yes, the water),
Lost its density, and thus proved our demise.

I was the sole survivor, me messmates drowned that day,
The Coast Guard came a-racing up and snatched me from the wave,
They snatched me from the wave, me lads, and saved me sorry skin,
And I surely (yes, I surely),
And I surely (yes, I surely),
Would have drowned if I hadn't broken wind!

I'm sure you'll agree that this ballad needs to be released to a wider audience.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 01:06 AM

SueB and not SueB, you ARE a pair. Good songs.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 12:46 AM

The following excerpt from a Mudcat fiction piece :

"Well, it was one time when RL decided he'd give up the roadhouse life and be a farmer. He had him a worthless ol Coondog name Tad. That ol dog could fart and clear a room in three seconds flat. He used to say 'Git, Tad!' when he'd hear Tad rip one and Tad'd leave the kitchen. It got to where RL didn't have to tell him anymore, and Tad would just cut one and leave on his own. Pretty soon, anytime Tad got up to leave, everybody else would make a run for it at the same time." Jessie began laughing, tears falling down his cheeks. "One time ol Tad was nosin around in some blackberry bushes and RL hears him rip one, and pretty soon this skunk comes runnin out." Jessie shook with laughter. "RL always said that was one hell of a fartin' dog could flush a skunk out of a blackberry bush."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: SueB
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 12:39 AM

Bless you, Cluin. I was beginning to think I had dropped an unacceptable stinker.

What I find amusing about those songs are the lighthearted refrains.

Hi ho.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Cluin
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 12:23 AM

some verses from "Kathusalem":

...
Hi Ho Kathusalem
Harlot of Jerusalem
Prostitute of ill repute
Daughter of the Baba

He laid her down upon the grass
Lifted her dress above her ass
He grabbed his prick and made a pass
Directly at Kathusalem

Hi Ho...

But she was low and underslung
He missed her twat and hit her bung
Planting the seeds of many a sone
In the asshole of Kathusalem

Hi Ho...

Kathusalem, she knew her art
She arched her back and blew a fart
And blew the bastard all apart
All over old Jerusalem

Hi Ho...

And when the moon is bright and red
A tattered form sails overhead
And rains down curses on the bed
Of the Harlot of Jerusalem

Hi Ho...




Just so you're not alone, SueB.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 12:20 AM

A fart will not even get near the Canadian record until there's nothin' left but the elastic band.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: SueB
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 12:13 AM

Uh oh. Maybe you all weren't ready for the songs that cowboys sing...sorry 'bout that!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: SueB
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 11:25 AM

Here's a musical reference to farting, from Guy Logsdon's "The Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing"
and Other Songs Conwboys Sing. He collected from an old cowpoke called Riley Neal - it's called
"Jimmie Tucker" and goes to the tune of "The Old Chisolm Trail."

Oh, there was a little girl and she lived with her mother,
And never on this earth was there such another.
Come-a ti yi yupi yupi ti yi ya
Come-a ti yi yupi, yupi ya.

(2nd verse describing said female, omitted here.)

There was a little man and his name was Jimmie Tucker,
And he swore, by God, that he was gonna f**k 'er,
Come-a ti yi yupi etc.

He got her in the sh*thouse up against the wall,
(more lyrics omitted here)
Come-a ti yi yupi etc.

He took her in the kitchen and thought he'd get some more,
And the damned b*tch farted - blowed a hole through the floor.
Come-a ti yi yupi yupi ti yi ya
Come-a ti yi yupi, yupi ya.


And here's another musical reference, from the same source, called "The Sea Crab,"
with alternate titles Good Morning Mister Fisherman, The Crab Fish, The Jolly Fisherman,
Fisherman Have You Any Sea Crabs, and John Henry and the Crab.

"The story recounts a humorous series of events that occur when a man takes a sea crab home, and for want of a better place, puts it in the chamber pot. Unaware of the guest in the pot, his wife relieves herself only to be bitten by the crab. While attempting to rescue her, the husband, too, is bitten; the crab holds him in an embarrassing position."

Here are the relevant verses (relevant to this discussion of eructation, that is.)

"Oh, Sal! Oh, Sal! Can't you let a little fart?
Oh, Sal! Oh, Sal! Can't you let a little fart,
To blow my nose and your ass apart?"
Sing ho, sing ha.

Sal, oh, Sal, she tried a little bit,
Sal, oh, Sal, she tried a little bit,
She filled John's face plum full of (rhyming word which I can't bring myself to mention goes here)
Sing ho, sing ha.

"Oh, Jackie, oh Jackie, get the horse and cart,
Jackie oh Jackie, get the horse and cart,
To pull my nose and your Mammie's ass apart.
Sing ho, sing ha.

It tickled those children plum to the heart,
It tickled those children plum to the heart,
To see the horse pull and to hear Mammy fart.
Sing ho, sing ha.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: ced2
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 11:22 AM

Ha ha! Picture this, crawling along mud Henslers; a 2' diameter phreatic tube in the Gaping Ghyll system with about 8" of liquid mud in the bottom. You and the rest of the lads had had a few pints the night before. You're in the middle of the group, a couple in front and a couple behind. Suddenly the bloke in front lets rip. It's been brewing all night thanks to ale and has a paricularly stomach churning quality. No where to go for you or the fart. "Saved!" he says. There's no answer.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 01:58 AM

That's a good deal, Bill. If I could get mine reduced by 50% maybe they let me back into Olive Garden again.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 03:49 PM

for those who LIKE the topic...after Xmas bargains


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 03:23 PM

Just ordered a new CD copy of "The Farting Contest" recently re-released(pffffttttt!) as "The Original Crepitation Contest" via laugh.com, via order.store.Yahoo.com; it cost $14.98, plus shipping. I hope it's the real thing in which the Australian Paul Boomer pursues his challenge of the Grand International Title held by defending Champion, Lord Windeshmere. It's probably a rip-off!

Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 02:13 PM

Dave-

The same; good catch! My own copy of the 1601 recording drifted away around 1965; I think I lent it to Sandy Ives.

Our old friends the Pulestons of Long Island, NY, send us a vinyl copy of the Great Farting Contest in the 1950's. "It's a Treblew", the contest judge exclaimed in wonder. And I'll always remember the tragic ending to the contest when the reigning champion squats to regain the lead: "He shit! The champion is disqualified!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 01:09 PM

Charley Noble:

Your uncle recorded 1601, which is available from Smithsonian?   You mean Richard Dyer-Bennet? Or someone else?

Dave Oesterreich


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Schantieman
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 12:45 PM

...and what did they do with them once they'd made them???

To return to the thread....

Kids are like farts - you can put up with your own but other people's are awful!

S


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM

I asked her at the time - she claimed that it was from some photos that one of the other girls had !


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:33 AM

Sure, Dave... how did they get them so lifelike if they hadn't seen one? Huh? Answer me that one? Huh? Huh?      

;)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 06:11 AM

A version of this joke is posted already, but I think that this is a more complete version.

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he just can't stop farting. "It's no great problem because they're silent and odourless" he tell the doctor, "You wouldn't realise it but I've dropped at least ten farts since I've been in here". The doctor gives hin a prescription and tells him to return in a week. At the next appointment, the man says "Those tablets didn't stop me farting at all, but now they smell absolutely disgusting". "Good", said the doctor, "We've sorted out your sinusitis - now we can work on your deafness".

One girl I knew some years ago, had been educated at a convent boarding school and one of the things that (she claimed) they used to do in the dormitory at night was to fart into the top of an empty drinks can and then put a match to it to see how far it would skate down the polished wooden floor. They also used to steal altar candles from the nun's chapel and sculpt them with penknives and hot water into amazingly real-looking likenesses of male genitalia - she showed me the one that she had made. They must have all been quite disappointed when they saw the size of a real one !


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 04:11 AM

Talented doggies.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 03:45 AM

I visited my Dr a few weeks ago, depression has hit again, and he wrote me a prescription for a book - I think I may print this thread out and give him a copy to give to hand out to other sufferers!

LTS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 10:01 PM

Y'ain't supposed to taste 'em, Charley.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 09:23 PM

I've tried to resist this thread in good taste but here's a shanty verse:

If we're becalmed that will be a great sin,
Away, Rio!
But we can fill all our sails by just breakin' wind,
We're bound for the Rio Grande...

I'm not sure that there has been an adequate description of the classic underground recording of "The Great Farting Contest." Spaw apparently has a tape and should share its contents; the nomenclature and scoring of the farts is a hoot. My family's vinyl copy dissipated years ago. What was the origin of this recording?

My dear departed uncle once did a recording of Twain's "1601" which is available on special order CD from Smithsonian for those who are truly interested.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:50 PM

Try this: "Sing on oh sweet lips that never told a lie." That's from one of James Herriott's well-loved books.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,embarrased
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:36 PM

my dad constantly asks me to pull his finger, is this normal?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,cinwop
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:30 PM

One time my grandma farted in bed. It smelled so bad, and my little sister enjoyed the aroma so she promptly farted to inhale the vibrant odor. My brother pushed my grandma to the crack and then farted himself. Must have been the sourcrout! Another time my mom had a bad case of gas and farted so bad our entire house had to evacuate. Only my sister who enjoyed the aroma went back in for a good whiff. She loves the smelly ones...especilly those pre-pooping explosions. I love this site! Please let me know if you like the smell too so my sister can talk to you. Her name is fartalicious.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 03:26 AM

A lord in his bath is interrupted by his butler Wibble, bringing him a carafe of finest vintage Tapwater. He looks askance at Wibble and asks him what the hell he thinks he's doing, interrupting him in his lovely bubbly bath. Wibble replies:

'My lord, I distinctly heard you, through the door, you said 'what about a water bottle Wibble'.

LTS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 12:49 AM

joke about farts=
posh woman in a big posh mansion farts, then says to the butler "stop that Jeeves", he replies, "certainly madam, which way did it go?" !


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: rangeroger
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 12:23 AM

I was trying to figure out what remote control fart machines and celtic music had to do with each other.

To further the subject;

My mother died last Nov. and I went to San Diego for the memorial services. Just before the dinner, the entire family was in my dad's small apartment at Fredericka Manor in Chula Vista. The living room was wall to wall people and I had to fart. My brother was by himself in the bedroom. I walked through the door and asked him to pull my finger. He did,and I ripped off aloud one. The entire living room full of people went silent until one of my nephews turned to his brother (both in their 30's) and said "Gee, that still works?"

Needless to say,everyone was laughing their heads off.

rr


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: open mike
Date: 04 Oct 03 - 11:23 PM

even better yet...the ads now say fart machines and remote control fart machines. can't imagine a more complete match to the subject!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Oct 03 - 08:48 PM

I pulled this one back up just to see the GoogleAd suggestions and somehow I can really see how well the thing works!!! One ad for "Gorillas" and the WWF and another for "Disaster Relief"!!! Kinda' sez it all ya' know............

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Larkin
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 11:22 AM

I really must spell check before I send stuff off- hope you got the gyst.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Larkin
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 11:18 AM

My Granfather was caught on Westmiinster Bridge in London in WW2 as a V1bomb went over. Every one on the bridge went quiet as they listen incase it's engine stopped after it had gone over someone let rip a very nervous fart which was greeted by the comment from a very cultured man ' I say, I think i've just heared the first Cuckoo! '


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Eldorado Girl
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 04:44 AM

When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts.--- Ethiopian proverb.

I had heard something about a public health campaign in the Netherlands urging people to be less shy about farting in public, presumably because it's healthier out than in. Any Dutch Mudcatters out there? Did it work?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 29 Aug 02 - 11:39 PM

Q: Why do Farts Smell?

A: So deaf people can enjoy them to!

Here are some Facts on Farts


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Aug 02 - 01:40 AM

He was once doing fine catspaw49


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Big Mick
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 08:51 PM

ROFLMAO...............

Growing up in the 50's and 60's in Michigan meant, in our house, that during the fall Sunday afternoons were spent in the living room with Da watching the Detroit Lions football game. There was Da, my brother Charley, myself, and my beagle Daisy Mae. There were very strict rules regarding this ritual. One was that one was not allowed to come into the living room and start a conversation about anything other than the game. This one applied mostly to my Mother. LOL. Another was that Da was to always have a fresh bottle of beer, one of which would invariably get thrown at the TV when the Lion quarterback, Milt Plumb comes to mind, did something stupid. Da always called him Plumb the Bum. Another part of the ritual was that at some point during the game, Da would let a monstrous, ass cheek clapping, stinky, fart. He would then shake his finger at poor Daisy Mae (who would be in her customary spot on the floor in front of the TV watching the game with us) and say "Daisy Mae, you dirty pup, you ought to be ashamed of yourself", which always brought a grin to my brother and my face. And poor aul Daisy would look at Da with her ears down. One Sunday while Daisy was laying there, her tail went straight up in the air, this whistling sound was heard, and the most God awful dry dogfood smelling fart came out of my pretty little hound. Before my brother and I even had time to laugh, Daisy turned around and looked squarely at Da, as if to say "Bernie, you dirty pup,...........". Charley and I laughed so hard that we had tears. The long suffering Miss Daisy Mae had her revenge.

Mick


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: fogie
Date: 24 Aug 02 - 04:59 AM

My husband did me deadly spite ,for he gave a fart in the middle of the night, put my servants all to flight, it shocked the dog ,it fused the lights. The fart it brake the fart it blew the fart it rattled the rafters through As through the house the fart did sound ,sometimes before ,sometimes behind. Its amazing what use idle minds can be put to is it not. Apologies to Martin Carthy and anyone who knows the Famous Flower ballad.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Genie
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:34 PM

Farting in public now,
Never wanted to.
What am I to do?
I can't help it.

I break wind easily,
Stifle, though I may.
I'm just made that way
I can't help it.

Gas forms inside me like mountains of methane,
And if I let one, I know I'm not to blame.

Farting in public now,
Never wanted to.
What am I to do?
I can't help it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Joe_F
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:12 PM

Applause makes a good time to fart.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: tar_heel
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 05:52 PM

geeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz...are we serious here?i can remember about a year and a half ago,i left a few messages to my dearest SANDYTOES,in here and you would have thought thst i hsad committted the unpardonoble sin...now i come in here and read this SHIT...!!!DAMN!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,Fartlover
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 03:31 PM

Well Jane? hold on who did the fart was it you or the audience member? Cause I some how was under the impression that they'd done the fart. And about the DC department store fart how do you know for sure if it was a kids fart did you ever see or witness the farter at the time before during and after the fart? How many females would even fess up to such a fart? I remember one time when my late Dad was alive that we went to this Sears department store you know we were looking for some jeans. To make a long story short a couple pants try ons later these to fair pretty black ladies walked in they were both wearing dresses. Any way they were with these two kids that were very animate and lively running around and what not. Somewhere down the line one of them farted. Now I'm not saying it was necessarily the kids or the ladies nor that it wasn't neither one of them either. But the way they chose to deal with this anal emmission seems to me indicative that the lady on the right who laughed her ass off directly after the fart and the one who kept telling her not to laugh might be the guilty party. Here's why the lady who kept trying to silence her then proceeded to spray past her her direction with her perfume bottle in full tot. Women generally try that manuever to cover up their own farts... However I'm not quite sure now that I think about it as to which lady did the deed... SA -rest your cursor on this SA if you want to know who I am.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Bernard
Date: 09 Oct 01 - 07:47 PM

Seems our anonymous 'GUEST' has a rather sad obsession...

Welcome to the club!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Oct 01 - 09:46 PM

testicle

testicle testicle

testicle testicle testicle

testicle testicle

testicle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Bernard
Date: 08 Oct 01 - 09:44 AM

CapriUni - so much for rhetoric, we are talking virtual rotten fruit here!

How do I know it was badly aimed?

Coz it MISSED!

Or are you simply admitting I'm good at dodging??

;o)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 11:01 PM

Spaw, Thanks for the tip about the wings!

Genie

BTW, are you "scat(alogical) singers" aware of the parody on "The Parting Glass" that is posted here at Mudcat?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 03:18 PM

test 

test test

test test


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: CapriUni
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:35 PM

Bernard -- It was a rhetorical question... let me rephrase: "What makes you think the fruit is badly aimed?"

:::Splat:::


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Bernard
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:05 PM

Erm... CapriUni - you asked who said the fruit was badly aimed... I believe it was me...!!

You were quoting me, duh!!

;o)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Bernard
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:00 PM

Bloke goes to the doctor's, complaining of extreme flatulence.

Whilst talking to the doc, he lets go a couple of real knicker-rippers, and the doc leaves the room.

He returns, carrying a large pole with a hook on the end.

Nervously our bloke asks the doc what he intends to do with the pole...

'I'm going to open the windows! It bloody stinks in here!!'


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Farting in Public
From: Crane Driver
Date: 06 Oct 01 - 10:25 PM

"Blessed be the lips that speaketh without a tongue"

Let 'em rip!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

  Share Thread:
More...


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 6 June 10:59 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.