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Comical tune names

Geoff the Duck 21 May 01 - 12:29 PM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler (slowly going off his hea 21 May 01 - 10:27 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 21 May 01 - 10:24 AM
Dunc 20 May 01 - 10:34 AM
Chanteyranger 20 May 01 - 03:27 AM
Gypsy 19 May 01 - 10:56 PM
Blackcatter 19 May 01 - 12:04 PM
gnu 19 May 01 - 09:18 AM
catspaw49 19 May 01 - 09:07 AM
Nathan in Texas 19 May 01 - 08:47 AM
GUEST,mkebenn@work 18 May 01 - 04:47 PM
GUEST,marsh-man 18 May 01 - 01:04 PM
catspaw49 18 May 01 - 12:31 AM
ddw 18 May 01 - 12:04 AM
GUEST 17 May 01 - 04:19 PM
Jacob B 17 May 01 - 12:31 PM
Walking Eagle 17 May 01 - 09:28 AM
Dave the Gnome 17 May 01 - 06:08 AM
Chanteyranger 17 May 01 - 04:05 AM
Jeri 16 May 01 - 07:36 PM
ray bucknell 16 May 01 - 07:25 PM
Jacob B 16 May 01 - 04:12 PM
GUEST,Captain Swing 16 May 01 - 03:28 PM
Dorrie 16 May 01 - 03:18 PM
Callie 16 May 01 - 09:03 AM
Mike Byers 16 May 01 - 02:06 AM
Crazy Eddie 16 May 01 - 01:59 AM
Blackcatter 16 May 01 - 01:23 AM
kendall 15 May 01 - 11:24 PM
GUEST 15 May 01 - 10:37 PM
GUEST,Melani 15 May 01 - 06:40 PM
Bill D 15 May 01 - 06:29 PM
Marion 15 May 01 - 05:45 PM
Fergie 15 May 01 - 04:21 PM
Micca 15 May 01 - 11:20 AM
Uncle_DaveO 15 May 01 - 11:14 AM
Skipjack K8 15 May 01 - 11:14 AM
Ebbie 15 May 01 - 11:07 AM
Pseudolus 15 May 01 - 09:25 AM
GUEST,Dooley 15 May 01 - 08:56 AM
Skipjack K8 15 May 01 - 07:15 AM
Les from Hull 15 May 01 - 06:59 AM
GUEST,Mikey Joe 15 May 01 - 06:30 AM
fat B****rd 15 May 01 - 06:14 AM
Blackcatter 15 May 01 - 02:03 AM
GUEST,Frogmore 14 May 01 - 10:49 PM
Matt_R 14 May 01 - 10:44 PM
CarolC 14 May 01 - 10:16 PM
GUEST,Jim Schiffman 14 May 01 - 09:59 PM
GUEST,Jim Schiffman 14 May 01 - 09:56 PM
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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 21 May 01 - 12:29 PM

Are you suggesting "the last post" as a comedy title???


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler (slowly going off his hea
Date: 21 May 01 - 10:27 AM

...and the brain fairy meant I repeated most of the text in the last post (oh dear, oh dear, oh dear)
RtS


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 21 May 01 - 10:24 AM

I'm not an expert in what's funny (as you'll know if you've read my "jokes" in varous postings) but what folows is not my view but that of a columnist in the UK Independent

They're not clever and they're certainly not funny
Comedy records can be irritating and juvenile ­ but rarely make you laugh.
Steve Jelbert names the guilty

18 May 2001
When Frank Zappa titled a live album Does Humor Belong in Music? ­ and putting aside the equally pertinent question: does Frank Zappa belong in music? ­ he raised an important point. For the two have rarely met to good effect. Ask most people what they associate comedy songs with, and the answer will rarely be "laughter".

No, it will be suppressed memories of smug Richard Stilgoe sitting at a piano, his facial expression saying, "Punch me," to a disgruntled nation, or Jasper Carrott (real name Rupert) singing about his "Funky Moped", or Joe Dolce, an American domiciled in Australia (possibly because of extradition arrangements) topping the charts for ever with "Shaddap You Face". Or the Goodies.

As a form, pop music is simultaneously juvenile and pompous, a perfectly laudable contradiction but not one that lends itself to real humour. It's often funny ­ Puff Daddy choosing an even dafter pseudonym (P Diddy) is funny; what's left of the deranged aerobics instructor Geri Halliwell is funny; Robbie Williams thinking he's funny is funny ­ but none of those people has planned it thus. As wise old Terry Wogan once told David Icke, "They're not laughing with you; they're laughing at you."

More relevant, no one ever got wealthy in the music business through overestimating the sophistication of the audience. Broad, dumb strokes sell, such as "Star Trekking", "Snooker Loopy" or KLF's shameless "Doctoring the Tardis". Novelty records, rather than outright jokes, prove more palatable. Spitting Image's "Chicken Song", a deliberate attempt to achieve such one-off status by announcing its intention, was more honest but equally awful.

Even such great comic institutions as The Simpsons rarely sustain their sharpness during musical numbers. Oddly, South Park has consistently integrated music brilliantly, largely by bowing to older forms. The full-length movie version was the best attempt at an old-style musical in years, even winning an Oscar. Anyone who has seen Trey Parker's astonishing Cannibal ­ the Musical (it does what it says) will recognise the movies he was brought up on.

This Is Spinal Tap, written by a supremely talented cast with experience of the business and treated with a certain amount of subtlety, was another rare success. Heavy metal acts may appear a soft target, but Britain's Comic Strip team were miles off with their Bad News parody. Similarly, 1978's The Rutles ­ largely based on the collaboration between Neil Innes, a musician who understood comedy, and his opposite number Eric Idle ­ retold the Beatles story superbly, the songs often more perfect than their inspirations.

Today's equivalents are sometimes beyond parody. On Channel 4's fake docusoap Boyz Unlimited, a tongue-in-cheek cover of Dr Hook's, er, steamy "A Little Bit More" was pre-empted when a "real" boy band put out their own version.

There is a handful of genuinely recommendable "humour" records, though. 1985's Texas Funeral by Jon Wayne (a band rather than a person, apparently consisting of veteran C&W musicians playing very badly) is undoubtedly the funniest record ever made. You can find the title track on the soundtrack of From Dawn Till Dusk, but it's just a taster. For a start, seven of the 13 tracks feature the word "Texas" in the title. As he slurs it, Jon's life is a mess of run-ins with recalcitrant Arab petrol-pump attendants ("Mr Egyptian"), randy Mexican cellmates who want to get hold of his "majoshas" ("Texas Jailcell") and women who let him down ("She peed on the carpet, she shot my horse, and now things are going from better to bad to worse"). A quick scan on the internet shows that many Americans consider this definitive cult record to be an autobiographical work, rather than a joke. A follow-up finally appeared recently.

What else is there? Chris Morris's Blue Jam hinted at a new form for sonic humour, and, more prosaically, Birkenhead's Half Man Half Biscuit still persist with their war on pap, last year releasing the brilliantly titled Trouble Over Bridgwater.

Like music, though, humour is subjective. After all, Bob Dylan's songs are pretty funny if that's how you choose to interpret them...

QUOTEThey're not clever and they're certainly not funny Comedy records can be irritating and juvenile ­ but rarely make you laugh. Steve Jelbert names the guilty 18 May 2001 When Frank Zappa titled a live album Does Humor Belong in Music? ­ and putting aside the equally pertinent question: does Frank Zappa belong in music? ­ he raised an important point. For the two have rarely met to good effect. Ask most people what they associate comedy songs with, and the answer will rarely be "laughter".

No, it will be suppressed memories of smug Richard Stilgoe sitting at a piano, his facial expression saying, "Punch me," to a disgruntled nation, or Jasper Carrott (real name Rupert) singing about his "Funky Moped", or Joe Dolce, an American domiciled in Australia (possibly because of extradition arrangements) topping the charts for ever with "Shaddap You Face". Or the Goodies.

As a form, pop music is simultaneously juvenile and pompous, a perfectly laudable contradiction but not one that lends itself to real humour. It's often funny ­ Puff Daddy choosing an even dafter pseudonym (P Diddy) is funny; what's left of the deranged aerobics instructor Geri Halliwell is funny; Robbie Williams thinking he's funny is funny ­ but none of those people has planned it thus. As wise old Terry Wogan once told David Icke, "They're not laughing with you; they're laughing at you."

More relevant, no one ever got wealthy in the music business through overestimating the sophistication of the audience. Broad, dumb strokes sell, such as "Star Trekking", "Snooker Loopy" or KLF's shameless "Doctoring the Tardis". Novelty records, rather than outright jokes, prove more palatable. Spitting Image's "Chicken Song", a deliberate attempt to achieve such one-off status by announcing its intention, was more honest but equally awful.

Even such great comic institutions as The Simpsons rarely sustain their sharpness during musical numbers. Oddly, South Park has consistently integrated music brilliantly, largely by bowing to older forms. The full-length movie version was the best attempt at an old-style musical in years, even winning an Oscar. Anyone who has seen Trey Parker's astonishing Cannibal ­ the Musical (it does what it says) will recognise the movies he was brought up on.

This Is Spinal Tap, written by a supremely talented cast with experience of the business and treated with a certain amount of subtlety, was another rare success. Heavy metal acts may appear a soft target, but Britain's Comic Strip team were miles off with their Bad News parody. Similarly, 1978's The Rutles ­ largely based on the collaboration between Neil Innes, a musician who understood comedy, and his opposite number Eric Idle ­ retold the Beatles story superbly, the songs often more perfect than their inspirations.

Today's equivalents are sometimes beyond parody. On Channel 4's fake docusoap Boyz Unlimited, a tongue-in-cheek cover of Dr Hook's, er, steamy "A Little Bit More" was pre-empted when a "real" boy band put out their own version.

There is a handful of genuinely recommendable "humour" records, though. 1985's Texas Funeral by Jon Wayne (a band rather than a person, apparently consisting of veteran C&W musicians playing very badly) is undoubtedly the funniest record ever made. You can find the title track on the soundtrack of From Dawn Till Dusk, but it's just a taster. For a start, seven of the 13 tracks feature the word "Texas" in the title. As he slurs it, Jon's life is a mess of run-ins with recalcitrant Arab petrol-pump attendants ("Mr Egyptian"), randy Mexican cellmates who want to get hold of his "majoshas" ("Texas Jailcell") and women who let him down ("She peed on the carpet, she shot my horse, and now things are going from better to bad to worse"). A quick scan on the internet shows that many Americans consider this definitive cult record to be an autobiographical work, rather than a joke. A follow-up finally appeared recently.

What else is there? Chris Morris's Blue Jam hinted at a new form for sonic humour, and, more prosaically, Birkenhead's Half Man Half Biscuit still persist with their war on pap, last year releasing the brilliantly titled Trouble Over Bridgwater.

Like music, though, humour is subjective. After all, Bob Dylan's songs are pretty funny if that's how you choose to interpret them...
QUOTE ENDS

RtS


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Dunc
Date: 20 May 01 - 10:34 AM

A tune written for the birthday of a lady who was reluctant to divulge her age...

Joy Mortimer's Twenty First Twenty First Birthday


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Chanteyranger
Date: 20 May 01 - 03:27 AM

A Donegal fiddle tune: If There Weren't Any Women In The World.


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Gypsy
Date: 19 May 01 - 10:56 PM

King of the Fairies!


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Blackcatter
Date: 19 May 01 - 12:04 PM

Zappa:

Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: gnu
Date: 19 May 01 - 09:18 AM

Spaw ....and about a hundred others.... ? Got to be more than that !


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 May 01 - 09:07 AM

Yeah Nathan, I know......Thanks! But where did he get the line anyway?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Nathan in Texas
Date: 19 May 01 - 08:47 AM

For the record, "You Dun Stomped on My Heart (and you smashed that sucker flat)was written by Mason Williams and recorded by John Denver


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,mkebenn@work
Date: 18 May 01 - 04:47 PM

'Spaw, I'd forggoten "Dinahmo Hum" thanks, Mike


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,marsh-man
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:04 PM

"She was only a moonshiners daughter, but she always made me liquor". The Rev. Billy C. Wertz


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 May 01 - 12:31 AM

"You Dun Stomped on My Heart (and you smashed that sucker flat)"--John Denver

"You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly"--Kacey Jones & Delbert McClinton

And then let's get to the late and great Frank Zappa:
"Weasels Ripped My Flesh"
"Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask"
"My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama"
"Latex Solar Beef"
"Lonesome Electric Turkey"
"Half A Dozen Provocative Squats"
"Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus" (really)
"Dinah Moe-Hum"
"Nanook Rubs It"
"Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?"
"The Illinois Enema Bandit"
"Broken Hearts Are For Assholes"
"Why Does It Hurt When I Pee"

....and about a hundred others....Ol' Frank knew a good title when he thought of one!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: ddw
Date: 18 May 01 - 12:04 AM

One of my current favorites is Sylvester Weaver's "Me And My Tapeworm"

david


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST
Date: 17 May 01 - 04:19 PM

Maggots in a Sheep's Head

Squirrel Heads in Gravy

Mudsharks on Acid (a friend made up to play in a fiddle contest)


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Jacob B
Date: 17 May 01 - 12:31 PM

Dave, that's not a song title, but a line from The Cowpuncher's Lament, which is in the database here.


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 17 May 01 - 09:28 AM

Another vote for Drop Kick Me Jesus through the Goal Posts of Life. Also Does Your Chewing Gum Loose Your Flavor on the Bedpost Every Night?

Us dulcimer nuts in the Brandywine Dulcimer Fellowship are actually thinking about adding DKMJttGPoL to our playbook!


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 May 01 - 06:08 AM

Surprised 'Hens march to the midden' hasn't been mentioned.

In the song rather than tune category I don't know if I believed the guy who told me of 'It's been lonesome in the saddle since my horse dropped dead!'

Cheers

Dave the Gnome


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Chanteyranger
Date: 17 May 01 - 04:05 AM

There's a highland pipe tune called "The Butt Of Lewis."


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Jeri
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:36 PM

We play Varnish Me Foreskin here, as well as Road to Kenny's Garage (Kerrigarrah, or something like it, but spelled right) and Barney the Pilgrim.

Real tune name: You Married My Daughter and Yet You Didn't


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: ray bucknell
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:25 PM

If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Jacob B
Date: 16 May 01 - 04:12 PM

I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

I've Got The Red With Rage, Yellow With Terror, Green With Envy, Purple With Passion Blues

Roaring Jelly Doughnuts/Toss The Cookies


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Captain Swing
Date: 16 May 01 - 03:28 PM

The Farting Kraut


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Dorrie
Date: 16 May 01 - 03:18 PM

i used 2 believe that john ryans was called Wankers polka 4 years love dorrie xxxxxx


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Callie
Date: 16 May 01 - 09:03 AM

Dave O: I thought that song was just a rumour!! Glad to know it really exists. Do you have the words, or know anything about it?

Callie


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Mike Byers
Date: 16 May 01 - 02:06 AM

The Fiddler's Drunk and the Fun's All Over The Cat That Ate the Candle Cock Up Your Beaver The Checking of the Dome Light Five Constipated Men I Danced All Night With a Bottle in My Hand


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 16 May 01 - 01:59 AM

"Mary, Hold The Candle Steady, While I Shave The Chicken's Lip"


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Blackcatter
Date: 16 May 01 - 01:23 AM

"four days drunk" is funny?

HUH?


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: kendall
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:24 PM

Take back your heart, I ordered liver


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST
Date: 15 May 01 - 10:37 PM

"four days drunk"

(hm, not a bad way to pass the time, either)

(moniker, handle, nick, screenname omitted to spark fear, paranoia and spaw's INCREDIBLY bad manners)


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:40 PM

"Napolean Crossing the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel" and "The Flight of the Haggis"--both modern tunes by Bob Zentz.


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Bill D
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:29 PM

heard on the radio about 1974..."Johnny Broke MY Heart at Walgreen's and I Cried All the Way to Sears"


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Marion
Date: 15 May 01 - 05:45 PM

Matt, I was thinking of tune tunes, not songs, but it's a free country.

I forgot the combination by Neil Gow (or was it Nathaniel?): "Farewell to Whiskey" then later he composed "Welcome Whiskey Back Again."

Marion


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Fergie
Date: 15 May 01 - 04:21 PM

My favourite is "I can't get over a girl like you, so you'll have to answer the phone yourself" I chuckle just writing it.


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Micca
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:20 AM

There is a tune played by the Committee Band here in the UK that is called by them, " Mike Mullins farewell to his breakfast"


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:14 AM

And the ever-popular "I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back in my bed while I cry over you"!!!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:14 AM

The Mudcat favourite still cracks me up.

"Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life"

Skipjack


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:07 AM

Folding Down the Sheets


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Pseudolus
Date: 15 May 01 - 09:25 AM

How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Get your tongue outta my mouth, I'm-a-kissin you goodbye
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Just to name a few........
Frank


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Dooley
Date: 15 May 01 - 08:56 AM

I can't get over you til you get out from under him.

Get the hammer, Mama, there's a fly on Papa's head.

My wife left and took the dog - and I miss him so much


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 15 May 01 - 07:15 AM

And there's Varnish Me Foreskin (Banish Misfortune)

Skipjack


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Les from Hull
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:59 AM

We have the habit of slightly renaming well-known tunes, so we now have the Jug of Slugs (Jig of Slurs), The Slimy Road to Otago (The Tarry Road to Sligo) and the Kid on the Mountain Bike.

Les


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Mikey Joe
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:30 AM

Hold The Maid Down Till I Come At Her
Drag Her Round The Road
The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba Into Galway

Mj


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:14 AM

Roger Miller had a couple (that's not the song) "My uncle used to love me, but she died" "You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd"


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Blackcatter
Date: 15 May 01 - 02:03 AM

Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through the Goalpost of Life.

And a few from Jimmy Buffett:

The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus

Despiration Samba

Smart Woman in a Real Short Skirt

I used to Have Money One Time

If the Phone Doesn't Ring - It's Me

It's Midnight and I'm Not Famous Yet


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Frogmore
Date: 14 May 01 - 10:49 PM

Ramblin' Hunchback


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: Matt_R
Date: 14 May 01 - 10:44 PM

Are we going for "tunes" as strictly music, or song names as well? Because there are thousands...millions...


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: CarolC
Date: 14 May 01 - 10:16 PM

Does it have to be folk? I kind of like 'Dental Hygiene Dilemma'. (Zappa)


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Jim Schiffman
Date: 14 May 01 - 09:59 PM

With her head tucked underneath her arm, she walks the bloody tower


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Subject: RE: Comical tune names
From: GUEST,Jim Schiffman
Date: 14 May 01 - 09:56 PM

If he can fight like he can love, the Kaiser's in real trouble.


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