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BS: American Bumper Stickers

Related threads:
BS: Funny Bumper Stickers - Part FOUR (384)
Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition! (118)
BS: Funny Bumper Stickers - Three! (101) (closed)
BS: Amish bumper sticker (13) (closed)
BS: Funny Bumpers Stickers - III (95) (closed)
Funny Bumper Stickers! (137)


Murray MacLeod 12 Feb 01 - 06:54 PM
Matt_R 12 Feb 01 - 07:01 PM
Uncle_DaveO 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM
Bill D 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM
Sarah2 12 Feb 01 - 07:12 PM
Giac 12 Feb 01 - 07:22 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 01 - 07:24 PM
Gary T 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM
campfire 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 01 - 08:07 PM
Matt_R 12 Feb 01 - 08:12 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 01 - 08:17 PM
CarolC 12 Feb 01 - 08:19 PM
Ebbie 12 Feb 01 - 08:24 PM
Amos 12 Feb 01 - 08:32 PM
campfire 12 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM
CarolC 12 Feb 01 - 09:08 PM
wdyat12 12 Feb 01 - 09:09 PM
kendall 12 Feb 01 - 09:10 PM
wdyat12 12 Feb 01 - 09:14 PM
GUEST,John Gray/Australia 12 Feb 01 - 09:21 PM
Mrrzy 12 Feb 01 - 09:40 PM
Mrrzy 12 Feb 01 - 09:41 PM
Murray MacLeod 12 Feb 01 - 10:16 PM
Bert 13 Feb 01 - 01:27 AM
rangeroger 13 Feb 01 - 02:32 AM
katlaughing 13 Feb 01 - 03:27 AM
Naemanson 13 Feb 01 - 08:14 AM
Pseudolus 13 Feb 01 - 08:42 AM
The Walrus at work 13 Feb 01 - 09:03 AM
Kim C 13 Feb 01 - 09:53 AM
GUEST,Midchuck upstairs 13 Feb 01 - 09:59 AM
kendall 13 Feb 01 - 10:03 AM
NH Dave 13 Feb 01 - 11:52 AM
Metchosin 13 Feb 01 - 12:29 PM
Bat Goddess 13 Feb 01 - 12:50 PM
kendall 13 Feb 01 - 01:41 PM
cowboypoet 13 Feb 01 - 01:55 PM
McGrath of Harlow 13 Feb 01 - 01:56 PM
Gary T 13 Feb 01 - 02:19 PM
Joe Offer 13 Feb 01 - 02:28 PM
Mrrzy 13 Feb 01 - 02:36 PM
wdyat12 13 Feb 01 - 02:50 PM
kendall 13 Feb 01 - 03:41 PM
radriano 13 Feb 01 - 04:05 PM
wdyat12 13 Feb 01 - 04:08 PM
Bert 13 Feb 01 - 04:10 PM
wdyat12 13 Feb 01 - 04:14 PM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 14 Feb 01 - 03:40 AM
Banjer 14 Feb 01 - 05:46 AM
GUEST,Sleep-Walker 14 Feb 01 - 06:14 AM
GUEST,Matt_R 14 Feb 01 - 08:16 AM
kendall 14 Feb 01 - 08:28 AM
GUEST,Matt_R 14 Feb 01 - 08:30 AM
Midchuck 14 Feb 01 - 10:59 AM
Pseudolus 14 Feb 01 - 11:16 AM
GUEST,Liberal 14 Feb 01 - 11:27 AM
Bat Goddess 14 Feb 01 - 01:51 PM
Murray MacLeod 14 Feb 01 - 03:29 PM
GUEST,Blacksmith 14 Feb 01 - 03:46 PM
Matt_R 14 Feb 01 - 03:57 PM
Pseudolus 14 Feb 01 - 04:03 PM
kendall 14 Feb 01 - 05:00 PM
ddw 14 Feb 01 - 08:19 PM
McGrath of Harlow 14 Feb 01 - 08:26 PM
Troll 14 Feb 01 - 09:42 PM
Amos 14 Feb 01 - 10:51 PM
ddw 14 Feb 01 - 11:12 PM
GUEST,bbc at work 15 Feb 01 - 12:05 PM
Amergin 15 Feb 01 - 12:23 PM
SINSULL 15 Feb 01 - 01:25 PM
Pseudolus 15 Feb 01 - 03:18 PM
Katcina 15 Feb 01 - 03:25 PM
Seth 15 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM
Margo 16 Feb 01 - 11:41 AM
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Subject: American Bumper Stickers
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 06:54 PM

I have been trying hard to be a nice guy on Mudcat, and not generate any controversy, but I feel I just have to sound off on this one.

I have beeen living in the States for three years now, I love it, love the people, want to become a citizen eventually and all that, but ONE THING BUGS ME.

What is it with these bumper stickers that inform total strangers of personal details that to my British-conditioned mind would be best kept in the family ?

Let me start with "My Child Made Honor Roll At XYZ Grade School" . Well, congratulations lady, I am happy for you but why are you telling ME about it? As it happens, I made top of my class all the way through primary(grade) and secondary(high) school, but I would have been mortified had my parents ever advertised the fact on their rear bumper. Do American kids ever get teased about the bumper stickers? Or do the "stupid" kids who don't make Honor Roll look up to them in admiration ? Please tell me . I really want to know.

Then there are the "My Child is A Graduate of D.A.R.E" I am guessing slightly here, but I think DARE stands for Drugs and Rehabilitation ???????????". Whatever it is, it is a statement that the child has been a drug addict and has got himself clean. Again, I think this is great, but why are you telling ME about it? Don't you think you should just keep it in the family?

But the one I saw on the turnpike this afternoon really takes the biscuit. "My Son Was Killed by a Drunk Driver" Underneath was the acronym M.A.D.D, which even I can deduce must stand for "Mothers Against Drunk Driving".

Again, you have my deepest sympathy lady, but why are you telling ME about it? And where do you order these bumper stickers? Surely not at the filling station? Or does a telemarketer phone you up and say "Uh, saw in the paper your son was killed by a drunk driver, like to buy a bumper sticker?"

Why can Americans not simply celebrate privately and grieve privately? I dread the day when I see a sticker saying "My Daughter was Raped by a ??????" (Fill in your ethnic choice)

Murray


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Matt_R
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:01 PM

Why do you keep telling us "supposedly" who the greatest guitarist is, ever? Who cares? Not me!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM

I don't/won't have a bumper sticker on my car--EXCEPT, if I can find one that says, "Just say NO to bumper stickers!"

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:08 PM

Murray, I guess it comes from being this big melting pot and having no traditions older than 300 years....and the thing is, only a small % put those things on their cars....and many fewer in some areas of the country. But it only takes 1% of millions to hit you every day....

Americans simply do not have the 'traditional' reserve we associate with the English...(I'll bet in Finland they use VERY few bumper stickers!...I wonder about Japan...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Sarah2
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:12 PM

Murray,

I always suspect these are the same people who avidly watch the likes of Sally Jesse Rafael and Maury Povitch -- however they're spelled -- where the theme for the day is "My Brother Cheated on Me with His Sister-in-law" or some such. I don't know where they come from, but they probably have damned little to display in their lives.

Just think of those bumper stickers as a shouted warning: You Don't Want To Know Me.

Sarah


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Giac
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:22 PM

And there's: My Kid Can Whip Your Honor Student (quite popular in some rural regions).

Or, the ever-beloved:

You Can Have My Gun When You Pry It From My Cold Dead Fingers


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:24 PM

Do bumper stickers go on bumpers? Not much room I'd have thought, and don't they get covered in mud?

It's common enough putting stickers on the back window of cars in England - "Baby on Board" is one of the most common, and for some reason it annoys a lot of people. I can't see why - I see it as reminding me and my fellow motorists that these are lethal vehicles we're driving, and we're in a very hazardous situation while we're on the road. And reminding us of that seems a good idea to me..

And that's how I'd react to that "My Son was killed by a drunk driver" - a raw and jagged reminder of reality.

The silliest and most dangerous is where people have a sticker in small print saying "If you can read this, you're too close." Which just encourages people to drive too close in order to make out what it says - it'd maybe make sense if it was printed in great big letters that you could read at a really safe distance.

(How did that "supposedly greatest guitarist" get into this thread?)


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Gary T
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM

Some of them bug me, some I find interesting or amusing.

D.A.R.E stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education. It's a program promoted by police departments to help kids avoid getting into drug use. Its effectiveness is being questioned now that it has been around long enough to start evaluating the results.

"Baby On Board" signs irk me because I see them as saying "My car's passengers are deserving of extra caution on your part." So it's not so bad if I plow into a car that contains only adults? Furthermore, the great majority of the time the baby is not on board, making the notice dishonest.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: campfire
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:41 PM

I don't like bumper stickers, either, and won't put one on my car. But the "my kid made honor roll.." and similar ones are often fundraisers for the schools. Friends of mine have been "co-erced" by the schools to buy one.

campfire


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:07 PM

As I said, Baby on Board annoys some people.

But I don't get it - there are a lot of people who drive around with a mind-set that the other cars are rival in some kind of competition, and all of us can find ourselves slipping into that way of thinking - and that sticker ought to jerk us out of that sick fantasy.

But since it probably won't in most cases, and it does seem to irritate some people, and irritated people are more dangerous drivers, it's probably not a good idea having the sticker.

But it's amazing the number of cars that do have drivers ploughing into the rear of them, and the number of drivers who drive crazily close to the car in front.

I wish they had some kind of reliable personality tests for drivers - there are so many technically skilled drivers who should never be allowed behind the wheel or in the saddle of any vehicle with an engine.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Matt_R
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:12 PM

I love bumped stickers...but I don't have any! But I do have a sticker in my back window..."East Carolina University School of Art".

Some of my favs:

"If you get too close, I'll flick a booger on your windshield"

"Unless you're a hemmhoroid, get off my ass."

"Vegetarians. They just tastes better."


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:17 PM

I'm inclined to think that people displaying those stickers would be likely to flunk that reliable personality test...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:19 PM

"Support the right to arm bears"


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:24 PM

Obviously people are of two- or more- minds about bumper stickers. I never have had one, and soaked and scraped two off a car I inherited- on the other hand, I do have stickers on my guitar cases. Isn't that kind of the same thing?

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:32 PM

Hey, look at it this way: if your fellow humans are disinclined to talk to YOU, what the hell makes you think they want to hear from your CAR???

But it is true that a funny little cultural back-eddy has evolved -- a behaviour learned, no doubt from the crudescence that passes for great minds on Madison Avenue -- involving using your car as a medium for communicating. After all, they use trucks to promote groceries and plumbing services.

Some bumper stickers I think I would rather see, in place of the current lot:

STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE.
TOLERATE ERROR.
NOTHING SUCKS ­
IT'S ALL PRESSURE
MOLECULES HAVE RIGHTS, TOO
I'M THE FATHER OF
A PREGNANT PAUSE
DON'T BE THAT WAY!
COMMUNICATE!
REALITY IS DEPENDING ON YOU!
IT ALL STARTS RIGHT NOW!
HELP STOP CONTINENTAL DRIFT!
JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN IN A BLACK HOLE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE ONE!
JUST BECAUSE YOU LEARNED THAT LESSON THE HARD WAY DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE!!
GOD FOOLS AROUND
DON'T QUIT NOW ­YOU MAY BE AHEAD WITHOUT KNOWING IT!
WHEN YOU GET TIRED OF BEING WALKED ON ­TRY GETTING UP OFF THE FLOOR!
Life is DESPOTISM
Tempered by SLOPPINESS
NOTHING SUCKS ­IT'S ALL PRESSURE
COMMIT RANDOM KINDNESS AND SENSELESS ACTS OF BEAUTY
IF I WERE GOD AT LEAST I WOULD SHOW UP FOR WORK
PRODUCTION, PRIDE, AND A BETTER HUMAN RACE
-DO IT RIGHT OR GO BACK TO BED
-THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU GET
-MAKE IT BETTER NOW
HUMANS NEED EACH OTHER
-WELCOME TO THE ONLY SPECIES THAT CRITICIZES ITSELF ­AND DOES
IT BADLY!
-MY OTHER LIFETIME WAS A VACATION
CRUSTY, JUDGEMENTAL OPINIONATED S.O.B. ON BOARD
-YOU ARE A SPIRITUAL BEING ­ ACT THE PART
-RELAX! I FORGIVE YOU.
-BE NICE! I WAS YOU IN A PAST LIFE.
HELP HUMANS ­ THEY NEED IT.
YOU CAN HELP ­ FIGURE IT OUT
IF YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVE, AT LEAST SYMPATHIZE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IMPROVE THINGS?
BE AN AMERICAN ­ ACT FREE
WELFARE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR INTELLIGENCE
REPEAT AFTER ME: I LIKE MYSELF
GET STARTED TODAY!
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE
GET BUSY
IF YOU CAN'T HAVE FUN IN LIFE...

WHERE CAN YOU HAVE FUN?

DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM A PAST LIFETIME?
LIFE IS TOUGH ­ BUT IT BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE!
WHAT ARE YOU PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW?
DON'T BOTHER DOING ANYTHING
YOU CAN'T GO FOR A FREE RIDE

IN AN OLD KARMA

YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS ­

START ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!

BEING A BODY ISN'T ALL ITS CRACKED UP TO BE
DO LIFE A FAVOR ­ FIND OUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE
OPEN YOUR HEART

OR CLOSE YOUR MOUTH

THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

IS A DIPLOMA MILL

JUST BECAUSE YOU LEARNED THAT LESSON THE HARD WAY ­

DOESN'T MEAN ITS TRUE!!!

HURRY UP ­ THE WORLD IS WAITING
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW ­IT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT!
LIFE IS A BELIEF
BE SIX FEET BEHIND YOUR BRAIN!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: campfire
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM

I would think so, Ebbie. My guitar case is clean, too. I guess I don't want to share what might be a fleeting thought permanently with strangers.

But I do admit I enjoy READING them.

One of my favorites read "My Next Husband Will Be Normal". I thought it cute at the time, as a was in the beginning stages of divorce. I'm glad I didn't stick it anywhere, now.

campfire


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:08 PM

"Jesus is coming. Try to look busy."


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:09 PM

We have a modest gathering of "Born Again Christians" here at the shipyard. Many of them are crane operators and work high up near God in the crane cabs. We put bumper stickers on a few targeted cranes which read, "Jesus is Coming, Look Busy!" The religeous crane operators love them. wdyat12


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:10 PM

I have a bumper sticker, and, I couldn't care less who doesn't like it. It says DEMOCRAT AND PROUD. Wanna make something of it?


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:14 PM

CarolC, I think we are sharing the same thoughts at the same time except you type with all your fingers. wdyat12


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,John Gray/Australia
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:21 PM

Best one I ever saw was in NYC several years ago, obviously the wife's car. "All men are idiots - and my husband is their king".

F.M.E. JG.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:40 PM

I like bumper stickers, but not the Honor Roll kind, I like the humor kind:

I'M THE REAL FATHER of your honor roll student.

Where am I going, and what am I doing in this handbasket?

Cthulhu for President - Why vote for the lesser of 2 evils?

...and so on...

Personally, I have no bumber stickers, but I do have window stickers, one from Tufts, one from UVA, I used to have Vulcan Science Academy but I can't find one, and I also have country stickers, one Hungary, one Ivory Coast, one Ireland. I catch Hungarian speakers that way...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:41 PM

Bumber stickers, ooh!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 10:16 PM

I understand the adverising thing, I understand the (supposedly) humorous thing Like Ebbie, I had to scrape one off my bumper. It was applied in good faith by my wife and read "Scotsmen Do It Better". Notwithstanding its veracity, it had to go.

No, it is the intensely personal ones I don't understand, still awaiting enlightenment.

And I agree with McGrath, what is the "greatest guitarist" doing on this thread Matt ?

Murray


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bert
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 01:27 AM

When we lived in Alabama the kids bought one that read "Born Again Pagan" It was great fun driving around with that on.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: rangeroger
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 02:32 AM

I had one on my Suburban that used to irritate people 'til it finally rotted off.

"I speed up to run down little animals"

I also saw one that countered the "Honor Student" one;

" My Father is a trusty at San Diego County Jail"

rr


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 03:27 AM

They don't all come from the mind(less) of Madison Avenue: Fun, Alternative Bumper Stickers


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Naemanson
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 08:14 AM

I have no bumper stickers on my car but my guitar case is festooned and I have some on my bulletin board at work.

Some of my favorites:

Question Authority
Question Assumptions
Aroostook County - The Way Maine Used To Be
I Read Ruth Moore
Born Again Pagan
Save Barney From Newt (This one is dated but will be back in style soon)

"Born Again Pagan" is on my bulletin board and I expected it to raise some eyebrows, especially those of the conspicuous Christians. Unfortunately it has been ignored for years.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Pseudolus
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 08:42 AM

I think bumper stickers are like threads on the back of people's cars. If you don't like 'em, don't read 'em. I don't think that people who put them on their cars really care if other folks don't like 'em or read 'em, they just think they're 'cute'. I don't, but hey, lighten up, we're all different out there, live and let live......

JMHO, Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 09:03 AM

Gary T,

Re:"Baby on Board", >..."Baby On Board" signs irk me because I see them as saying "My car's passengers are deserving of extra caution on your part." So it's not so bad if I plow into a car that contains only adults? Furthermore, the great majority of the time the baby is not on board, making the notice dishonest...."

After seeing the way some people drive with their rugr^H^H^H^H baby in the car, I always tend to read it as "The driver of this vehicle would rather make cooing and pull faces at the sprog lashied into the seat next to them than watch what the *%$£'s happening on the road... THIS CAR IS NOT UNDER PROPER CONTROL!"

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Kim C
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 09:53 AM

I have always been flummoxed by that men are idiots and I married their king. So you're now the Queen of Idiots, huh? You must not have been very bright to have taken up with the King of Idiots. (dang, sister, I don't believe I'd have told that...)

I don't like religious bumper stickers. Not because I have anything against religion, because I don't; but because I think actions are more important than bumper stickers and t-shirts and all that. But that's everyone's choice - to each their own.

I had a Riders in the Sky bumper sticker until it got ragged and I had to take it off.

One of my favorites: Visualize Whirled Peas.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Midchuck upstairs
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 09:59 AM

What I don't understand is bumper stickers for high-end guitars, especially Martin. Seems to be saying, "Here, this is the car you want to break into!" Same logic with the brand name embossed on the guitar case.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 10:03 AM

I like..VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: NH Dave
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 11:52 AM

I'm neutral on most bumper stickers. I think they fall into three categories, brag/statement, identification, and humor.

Locally, motorists have adopted those oval international country identification disks, you know the ones that not so subtlely remind us, "I went to Sweden and bought this expensive Volvo and you didn't!", to indicate favorite state or even ISPs, so we see little green ones with VT or MV on them (MV.COM is a local internet provider originally inhabited mostly by computer gurus.)

Tom and Ray Magliozzi of "Car Talk" started a traffic safety program against talking on car phones while driving, with a bumper sticker that says, "Hang Up and Drive!"

Many medical providers have a small cadeuces with the notation MD or EMT indicating their ability to render emergency medical service. My last two cars had small stickers with vertical green, red, and yellow strips, indicating to fellow veterans that I had served in Viet Nam, and to others that I had no sense of color matching.

When I was in England, semi-trailers/articulated lorries wore a "Long Vehicle" tag on the back to warn depth perceptionaly challenged people, and many motorcyclists adopted a smaller similar tag that read, "Short Vehicle". I may still have one. And I do enjoy the occasional thoughtful humorous nudge like, "Nuke the Unborn Gay Baby Whales", or the Driving Training Instructor whose license plates read, "IPRAY2"


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Metchosin
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 12:29 PM

CAUTION: MY DRIVING CAUSES TOURETTE'S SYNDROME

Have one my husband gave me but I never got around to putting it on a car: MY ONLY DOMESTIC QUALITY IS THAT I LIVE IN A HOUSE


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 12:50 PM

Bumper stickers usually wind up on the fridge around this house. There's no good bumper space on a lot of cars to carry one, and, besides, they deteriorate too fast on a vehicle (or the vehicle deteriorates too fast around the bumper sticker, so you need a movable one...).

The one I'd like to have, though, is "I Brake for Tailgaters."

The only "I Brake..." bumpersticker I own (yes, it's on the fridge) is "I Brake for Old Graveyards" (courtesy of the Society for Gravestone Studies).

And, hey, Naemanson! I've been reading Ruth Moore for over 25 years!

Bat Goddess


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 01:41 PM

Oh yeah? well I knew her! She even let me take her picture. What a character!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: cowboypoet
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 01:55 PM

I have a decal in my back window which reads, "Notice! Driver Carries Only $20 Worth Of Ammunition." A man walked up to me in a parking lot a couple of weeks ago and asked where he could get one, saying, "I like your decal -- not only does it let people know where you stand, it also tells them where they stand with you."


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 01:56 PM

So Americans do actually stick them on their bumpers?


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Gary T
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 02:19 PM

Oh, yes, McGrath--some folks seem to have a whole collection on the car's rear bumper (and trunk [boot] lid, and window, etc.). I had a car in my shop yesterday that had a half dozen of them. The only one I recall said "We're all here because we're not all there," which I thought was pretty funny.

Murray, I'm not sure I can enlighten you as to why some feel compelled to announce personal stuff to the world. I find some of it rather obnoxious myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 02:28 PM

I'm surprised that bumper stickers are still so popular in the U.S. They made sense when bumpers were chrome-plated, and a sticker wouldn't ruin anything on the car. Now, most bumpers are painted plastic, and I imagine bumper stickers would ruin the paint (or at least stop it from fading evenly. Even though I support the idea whole-heartedly, I think a Democratic and Proud of It bumper sticker would make it hard for me to sell my used car to a Republican...
But then, Republicans probably wouldn't buy a car from me, anyhow. What would they want with a car that gets 35 miles per gallon and doesn't take up a lane and a half on the freeway?
-Joe Offer, running for cover-

Jon Freeman fixed the HTML on Amos's table, so now all you Netscape people should be able to read this thread. Thanks, Jon.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 02:36 PM

When I had Skull&Roses on a car, boy did I get a lot of speeding tickets and so on! The cops let my long hair and tie-dye go by, now... so I won't put anything political or religious on my car down here in the Sawth...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 02:50 PM

Joe,

I have a bumper sticker on my truck that reads, "Lobotemies for Republicans It's the Law." The State of Maine turned me down for their "Scap and Buy" program. Not even the junkyards want a truck with bumper stickers on them.

wdyat12


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 03:41 PM

If you want to be left alone, attach one that says "Support Maines Troopers" (They are underpaid and overworked) It also helps to stay under the speed limit! Or, just over it.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: radriano
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 04:05 PM

I enjoy humorous bumper stickers. I keep meaning to have one made up that says "STUTTERERS DO IT REPEATEDLY" - and yes, I'm a stutterer myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 04:08 PM

kendall,

I have one similar to that on a car I babysit for someone in the winter that reads: "DARE to think for yourself." all you can make out from 10 feet away is "DARE......" I've been pulled over for going 20 over the limit and never ticketed.

wdyat12


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bert
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 04:10 PM

Saw one that said "DARE - to keep cops off donuts"


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: wdyat12
Date: 13 Feb 01 - 04:14 PM

Or "Bad Cop! No Donut!"


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 03:40 AM

This isn't a bumper sticker (not thread creep again, Roger?)but 'Spaw at least might appreciate it. On the way in to work half an hour ago I followed what I call a "sludge gulper" or "honey wagon" that had just emptied the portaloos from a building site.
The registration plate included the letters LOO, the firm's name was Chamberpots and its slogan was "Number One in the Number Twos business"!
RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Banjer
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 05:46 AM

Well' I have several bumper stickers on the back of my truck. Like someone in a previous post said, if you don't like them, don't read them. Mine relate to the Civil War reenacting that we do. No one has yet commented negatively to them, but I have received quite a few comments about how the reader agrees with my sentiments, that being that our history and our heritage should be remembered.
I guess to best answer Murray as to why do we place our thoughts on public display would be, 'Because we can' One of our most cherished right in this land of freedom is our freedom of speech. I for one will make use of that for as long as I draw a breath. Once we start suppressing that ideal, where will it lead us? I personally draw the line at stickers that are obscene, but do not support attempts by legislative groups to ban them.
Was it Voltaire who said 'I may not agree with your opinion, but will fight to the death your right to it?'?


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Sleep-Walker
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 06:14 AM

Your village called. Their idiot is missing. Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done. You're just jealous that the voices talk to me. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either. There is no problem that cannot be solved by the proper application of high explosives. I do what the voices tell me to. I really don't think that you should doubt me. My other car is a broom. Witch parking only, all others will be toad! Vehicle protected by Witchcraft. Life's a Witch, and then you fly. I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister. Something Wiccan this Way Comes. Walking in a Wiccan Wonderland. God is so great, He/She needs more than one religion! When the Rapture comes, can I have your car? Jesus loves you--but everyone else thinks you're an a**hole. My karma ran over your dogma. That was Zen, this is Tao. Not all who wander are lost. (Tolkien) Born again...and again...and again... I was born again...as a Scorpio. My Goddess gave birth to your God. Don't persecute me because of your ignorance. Last time we mixed religion and politics, people got burned at the stake. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Please feel free to point, whisper, stare, and ask questions. Born OK the first time. Witches do it in Circles. I didn't go to Church today because I was busy practicing spells and lesbianism. You all laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you are all the same. So Mote It Be! Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh. Ankh if you love Isis! Isis, Isis, RA RA RA!! If going to Church makes you a Christian, does going to the garage make you a car? It's your hell, you burn in it! Never meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. (Tolkien again) (Variation on that one...) Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup. If you are close enough to read this, my dragon must not be hungry! Partnership for an idiot-free America. Enlighten up! Democracy, not Theocracy. Give me that old-time Religion! (with pentacle picture) and my favorite... It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 08:16 AM

Come on, admit it Murray! If they had a "Tony McManus, World's Greatist Guitarist", you'd slap in on your bumper in a heartbeat! ahhahhaha


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 08:28 AM

Who is Tony McManus? How did he get to be famous? I've heard of him. Is he a musician or an electrician?


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 08:30 AM

You've done it now, Kendall. Prepare for the lecture!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Midchuck
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 10:59 AM

Doc Watson...
Tony Rice...
Norman Blake...
Chris Newman...

Whoever Tony McManus is, he's fifth at best...

Peter.

P.S. To get the thread back on track, I'm partial to:

"It's not whether you win or lose, it's whether I win or lose!"

and

"Support your lawyer, sue somebody!"

P.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Pseudolus
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 11:16 AM

How about the one....."I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully, in my sleep. Not screaming and yelling likethe passengers in his car" OK, so it was a long bumper sticker..... :)

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Liberal
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 11:27 AM

An old one from the 50s: "Speed on by - Hell ain't half full yet!

A newer one favored by the MTV crowd: "Horn Broke - Watch for Finger!

"Caution, Baby on Board" stickers should be put on the dashboard!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:51 PM

Actually, my current favorite is "Hang Up and Drive!"

Bat Goddess


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 03:29 PM

Banjer and everyone else, I do not have any objection whatsoever to these stickers and heaven forbid there should ever be any attempt to ban them. (You will notice I didn't even mention the religious stickers which festoon every other car in South Florida) . My post had nothing to do with freedom of speech and the right to voice opinions, which I agree are hard-won and cherished rights.

I was asking why so many Americans feel compelled to make public to the world at large some deeply personal family matter, like their child being a drug addict or their son having been killed by a drunk driver, or their child being on the Honor Roll. These people are not voicing their opinions, they are sharing deeply private aspects of their personal lives with total strangers. My question is, "Why ?" And in 58 postings so far I have received not a glimmer of enlightenment.

Matt, kendall and Midchuck, I am not going to rise to the bait ! (Strange though that kendall should mention "electrician". First time I ever met Tony I thought for some reason that he was an electrician)

Murray


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Blacksmith
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 03:46 PM

I kind of enjoy bumper sticker, but I only have two: Blacksmiths have bigger hammers. I'd rather be home brewing.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Matt_R
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 03:57 PM

Hey Murray, I heard that Tony IS an electrician...as is next album is Tony McManus Plugs In where he finally gets his ass on straight and plays some REAL kickass music!


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Pseudolus
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 04:03 PM

I think it's just a pride thing in most cases. Keep in mind the D.A.R.E. group is a group organized to "prevent" kids from getting into drugs and seeing one of those does not necessarily mean that their child is/was an addict. My kid's an honor roll student? Perhaps it was done FOR the student. When I started the thread "Tell me about your kids, pets, etc." it was the day after my daughter received second honors for the first time. She's been struggling and that report card was "the best thing that's happened to me since I was a kid!!" (she's 12!!) If they sold bumper stickers at her school, I would bought one!! It wouldn't have gone on my car's bumper but we might have gotten creative with it. Instead we got her the guitar she'd been wanting. Maybe the mother who lost her son thought that awareness of that particular problem was something she could do to help out other mother's keep from going through the same thing. I don't relate to all of them but I think there are pertty good reasons why people decorate their cars with them.

Just a thought....

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: kendall
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 05:00 PM

My bumper sticker is a simple protest for the right wing whackos who put that doofus in the white house. It's my way of saying "Screw you"


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: ddw
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 08:19 PM

I always thought the "Baby On Board" bumper stickers were just people bragging that they got laid at least once in their lifetime.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 08:26 PM

So I take it nobody plans to produce a Mudcat Cafe sticker?


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Troll
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 09:42 PM

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you for everything you've got.

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 10:51 PM

I believe the deep cultural psyche of our wasteland Nation does have an answer for you, Murray. It lies in the fact that between the urbanization of the country, the suburbanization of the cities, and the bleeding-heart establisment of laws which make it illegal for anyone under a certain age to learn how to take part in the world by producing something for money, followed by a thick layer ofr saccharine gruel disguised as an education with little or no application involved, followed by a muli-billion dollar industry of childish fantasy in media, designed to suspend all rationale thought in a frozen moment of eternal sugar-plum unreality, parents are driven to do anything they can to show their children a path into the real world somehow.

Since cars have replaced personal merit as the basis for esteem in our civilization, placing a child's accomplishment on a bumper means that something out there which has merit and is REAL is connected to him or her; this is a form of incentive.

A second related hypothesis can be based on the observation that our culture has more tons of communication media than any country in the world, and less genuine communication per capita. The Founding Fathers may never have dreamed that the free press and free speech on which they pinned their hopes would degenerate into the freedom of consumers who don't address community issues, but will address NFL issues and brands of shower-soap at the drop of a hat.

The main communication lines of the culture having been suborned by story-book fantasies and commercial nigthtmares, some people resort to putting their urgent messages on Automobiles as the great Proxy Communicator of the 21st Century American; you are what you drive, and you think what's on your bumper.

Hope this helps you enjoy your visit in our wonderful free nation!

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: ddw
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 11:12 PM

Damn, Amos — you write like you actually THINK about things. What are you, some kinda subversive?

Well said!

david


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 12:05 PM

I've never thought it was wise or friendly to publically advertise *any* of my beliefs. I would have been sorely tempted, however, if I'd ever found one that read "Don't blame me! Didn't vote for him; didn't vote for her!" (Sorry, kendall)

bbc


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Amergin
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 12:23 PM

Hey, McGrath, if memory serves me right I think there were some stickers or something in the works for the Mudcat....or at least they were taking orders....haven't heard about it in several months though...


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 01:25 PM

These just in:
These were found on Ladies' Bumper Stickers:

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Pseudolus
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 03:18 PM

Good list sinsull, did you know that one of yours is an actual song title???? Hmmmmm, bumper stickers and totally useless trivia, does it get any better than this? :)

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Katcina
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 03:25 PM

Great reading folks. I have none on any of my vehicles at the moment, but I'm thinking of starting a collection rather than having the body work done on my Nissan and F-250.


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Seth
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM

I like bumper stickers. For whatever reason, they are part of American pop culture, there is nothing like them here in China. My two favorites 1. On a very large Lincoln " I'm worried about the size of my penis";On a car in Washington " Warning: I squeal when I come!" Seth from China


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Subject: RE: BS: American Bumper Stickers
From: Margo
Date: 16 Feb 01 - 11:41 AM

I've never been a bumper sticker person myself, but I enjoy them. Recently I saw

JESUS LOVES YOU. EVERYBODY ELSE THINKS YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE

I love that one. I like 'Visualize Whirled Peas' too. I can just see them.... Margo


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 20 January 12:01 PM EST

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