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Bummed out and singing anyway (songs)

Mrrzy 13 Jun 00 - 06:32 PM
Mbo 13 Jun 00 - 06:44 PM
bbelle 13 Jun 00 - 06:54 PM
McGrath of Harlow 13 Jun 00 - 06:57 PM
TerriM 13 Jun 00 - 07:11 PM
Clinton Hammond2 13 Jun 00 - 07:14 PM
Matt Woodbury/Mimosa 13 Jun 00 - 07:35 PM
katlaughing 13 Jun 00 - 08:03 PM
kendall 13 Jun 00 - 08:07 PM
Mrrzy 13 Jun 00 - 08:36 PM
bflat 13 Jun 00 - 08:55 PM
Mrrzy 13 Jun 00 - 09:49 PM
bflat 13 Jun 00 - 09:54 PM
Ebbie 13 Jun 00 - 10:25 PM
Sorcha 13 Jun 00 - 10:27 PM
GUEST,flattop 13 Jun 00 - 10:36 PM
SINSULL 13 Jun 00 - 10:38 PM
JamesJim 14 Jun 00 - 12:21 AM
winniemih 14 Jun 00 - 01:15 AM
Mrrzy 14 Jun 00 - 02:21 AM
Barbara 14 Jun 00 - 03:10 AM
Escamillo 14 Jun 00 - 03:56 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 14 Jun 00 - 04:14 AM
Kim C 14 Jun 00 - 09:49 AM
GUEST,Mrr-at-work 14 Jun 00 - 10:13 AM
SINSULL 14 Jun 00 - 12:27 PM
GUEST 14 Jun 00 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,bobbybuzz 14 Jun 00 - 01:05 PM
GUEST,bobbybuzz 14 Jun 00 - 01:09 PM
GUEST,Willie-O 14 Jun 00 - 01:16 PM
kendall 14 Jun 00 - 02:27 PM
GUEST,Mrr 14 Jun 00 - 03:13 PM
paddymac 14 Jun 00 - 03:19 PM
GUEST,Mrr 14 Jun 00 - 03:26 PM
Barbara 15 Jun 00 - 11:08 AM
GUEST,Mrr 15 Jun 00 - 12:16 PM
SINSULL 15 Jun 00 - 12:45 PM
Barbara 15 Jun 00 - 06:14 PM
Mrrzy 15 Jun 00 - 06:46 PM
Judy Predmore 16 Jun 00 - 03:31 AM
Chicky 16 Jun 00 - 03:45 AM
Ella who is Sooze 16 Jun 00 - 04:42 AM
GUEST,Mrr 16 Jun 00 - 10:34 AM
GUEST,Praise, minus cookie 16 Jun 00 - 11:18 AM
GUEST,Mrr 16 Jun 00 - 12:59 PM
Sorcha 16 Jun 00 - 07:11 PM
GUEST,Mrr-chez-Mom 17 Jun 00 - 12:25 AM
wysiwyg 17 Jun 00 - 01:21 AM
Mrrzy 17 Jun 00 - 09:38 PM
GUEST,flattop 17 Jun 00 - 10:29 PM
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Subject: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:32 PM

Well, I just didn't get custody of my kids, and I am really not happy at all at all. So I find myself singing that Joni Mitchell song about CAREY get out your cane, rather ad nauseam. I've searched the Forum for good songs of depression and not really come up with anything. I have however seen several Cheer Up threads, so feel free to creep this one into something like that, but the real question is, what do you sing, at the top of your lungs and through your tears, when really, deeply unhappy?


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mbo
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:44 PM

I sing "In Time" by Denny Laine.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: bbelle
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:54 PM

I sing anything and everything.

moonchild


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:57 PM

Nothing cheerful, songs that try to be cheerful never lift you when you are down.<{>

The Blues. If you ever sing the blues, that's what they are really for.

GOING DOWN THIS ROAD FEELING BAD

RAGLAN ROAD

HARD TIMES COME AGAIN NO MORE

WALTZING MATILDA

To be a pilgrim.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: TerriM
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 07:11 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry...how awful for you! When I'm sad I tend to sing songs like Sandy Denny's " Dark the Night" and "Solo"; I've found from experience I can sing them through tears.If we can help, please let us know! love Terri


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 07:14 PM

My good buddy, Len Wallace does a song called "F^ck Off And Die" that really gets me 'over the hump'...

But seems to me yer looking for good "wallowing" music...

Old Ferron...
Garnet Rogers has some good ones too...
Stephen Fearing's 'Welfare Wednesday' is a good song to poen a vein to! Or his "Turn Out The Light"
Old Kris Kristofferson, like "Pilgrim" or 'Sunday Morning Coming Down'
Any and all Old Leonard Cohen... Even some of his new stuff, if you can avoid the cheesy love songs...

Just my few suggestions...

Hope ya get over it...


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Matt Woodbury/Mimosa
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 07:35 PM

I go with angry songs to keep from crying. Last time I had to use this was in a voice lesson, so I chose "Cruda, funesta smania" from Lucia. I'm sure that's practically no use at all to anyone else, but it seems like this should be a good time to learn all the words to "FOLLOW ME UP TO CARLOW"

When I'm ready to lose it, almost anything sentimental will do, the closer it relates to the specific situation, the faster it'll get me wallowing.

Mimosa


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:03 PM

Any Hank Williams, anything hard rock, esp. with a good drumbeat...deating on a drum is usually helpful

Oh, Mrrzy, I am so sorry to hear that...please do let us know if there is anything we can do to help....kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:07 PM

MY SON CALLS ANOTHER MAN DADDY..Hank Williams


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:36 PM

Clinton, wallowing is exactly where I'm at, shall I say. Kat/TerriM and all, I don't know what would help other than your well-wishes and messages of sympathy, which do help. Also permission to vent, herewith granted by me, anyone doesn't want to read about it skip this posting.
The worst thing is that I have kind of lost my "support group" in this whole mess; most of my local, "face" friends are my X2B's relatives, who were very very supportive when I first fled with the twins in March '98 but who, understandably, have been less so since things went to court and got nasty. Also, I am beginning to think work is sick of hearing about it or at least am trying to prevent this from interfering with work since we are going through another merger and nobody knows whose department is next for the axe. So, everyone has enough to worry about, including me, as my job is also being "restructured" (which may or may not mean eliminated). As the British say, I may be found "redundant" (so I don't want to spout off there too much, quoi).
*sigh*
Oh well, nowhere to go but up. Back to music: >WALTZING MATILDA, Green Fields of France, THE LETTER EDGED IN BLACK, all make me cry, which is what I need right now. Anything on lost children? I'll see how deeply I can wallow, then I'll cheer up.

I do want to say that I am not suicidal or anything, don't worry about that. I'm just really really really sad and fearful about my boys. Thank you all for listening. I appreciate it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: bflat
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:55 PM

Mrrzy, You are hurting and that is huge. I say go ahead and cry and don't hold it in; tears are a release for your sorrow. When you hurt only time makes it better. For me, if I look around for someone, a friend, who is worst off and needs help and I throw myself into being helpful and in doing so I emerge better. Take the emphasis off of your own situation and it helps with the healing. God bless your efforts and keep in touch with your kids. They will know they are loved by two people who just don't happen to be in love any longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 09:49 PM

Tomorrow, I'll help someone. Today, I'll wallow...
excellent advice, bflat!


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: bflat
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 09:54 PM

You do that. Thanks. Let us know how you are doing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:25 PM

Singing Stephen Foster's HARD TIMES COME AGAIN NO MORE loudly and with great feeling sometimes does it for me. I'm so sorry for your pain. For now, pamper yourself in every way you can, and remember the love you have for those children will always reach them and is never, never wasted.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:27 PM

And vent here, this is just the place for it. We won't get sick of you, dear heart. Hang in there.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:36 PM

If I was feeling sorry for myself down there in Virginia, Mrrzy, I'd probably head over to Patsy Cline's grave in Winchester and talk to her for a while. Maybe I'd talk to her on a moonlight night or when the sun's coming up or on sunny Winchester afternoon. Patsy knew the saddest songs and she sang them so goddam well. (Did you know that Winchester changed sides about 100 times in the Civil War? Must have been wagon loads of sorrow. Knowing makes those Lee Jackson burger taste better.)

From the tales you tell, Mrrzy, I still think you have a sad lyric or two to write yourself. Your thread title would almost make a good hook for a song - just a little editing, like 'Bummed out but still singing.' You could probably write a Hank-cry-your-heart-out-over-this lyric. Hank never had a patent on misery. We all get there at times.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:38 PM

Mrrzy,

Be kind to yourself and if that means wallowing, WALLOW bigtime. Don't let the anger turn to guilt. Be sad, angry, disappointed, anything you feel, be. And then move on. Crying and throwing things can be therapeutic.

You are not redundant on your job or as a father. Love your children. Let them love you and your ex. Try not to let the anger touch them - they will blame themselves when no one is really to blame.

There is always another job. If you have to, you will find one. Meantime, try not to worry about what might happen. You have enough to deal with already.

In a way you have been given a gift. Now is when you will know who your true friends are and maybe even more important how to be a true friend yourself. It will get better.

SS


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: JamesJim
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 12:21 AM

Mrrzy, I know what you are going through is very painful, but it does get better in time. You may not have custody of your boys, but I don't know of any court that would keep you away from them. That means you would have visitation rights.

I have been through exactly what you are going through. That was so long ago, the pain has vanished. Almost 28 years. My oldest (daughter) is 38 and my youngest (son) is 36. I had them every Tuesday evening, then took them to school on Wednesday. I had them on Friday or Saturday night and all of the next day. Of course, they spent vacation time with me as well. They were 11 and 9 when my world fell apart. They turned out great and I am very proud of them. My daughter is a producer for Showtime (in California) and my son is in Real Estate in Louisville. You know what kind of pain you are going through -- well, just double or triple that for them (depending on their age). They love you and need you.

They will always love you and cherish their time with you. In time they will make their own decisions and be influenced by no one. It's important that you make their lives just as normal as possible. For one, don't give up with discipline when they visit you. I made that mistake. Discipline merely tells them that you really care about them and want to help shape their lives.

Music? I found it hard to concentrate on that when I was going through this stuff. However, I wouldn't sing anything that would take me any lower than I was already. I'd recommend the same for you. You are a good person. Don't forget that. Go on with your life. Find someone else to share it with. I just celebrated 25 great years with my wife. She went through a tough divorce as well. I was an insurance broker and found her in one of my accounts. Treat yourself well. You are special and need to feel that way. If you seek out the company of others, that will help. Your kids need to see a happy parent. It will be tough at first, but don't sit around and mope. That will solve nothing -- I'll bet your X is going on with her/his life.

Best wishes and God Bless.

Jim


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: winniemih
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 01:15 AM

Mrzzy, I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Separation from our children comes soon enough as they grow and go off in their own direction, but it is tragic when the separation comes as early as yours has. I haven't experienced anything close to what you must be going through, but as a recent member of the empty nest club I find singing "CALLING MY CHILDREN HOME" allows me to express my feelings of loss. I learned this one from the Emmylou Harris Spyboy CD, written by Lawson/Waller/yates. I hope this helps.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 02:21 AM

Thanks, all. A great response, heartwarming, just what I need. I almost said needed, but that's premature...
I do feel a lot better reading this thread, you are a great community. Will tell more later...


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Subject: Lyr Add: I CRIED (Ruth Pelham)
From: Barbara
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:10 AM

A song about the whole situation that always makes me both laugh and cry is Ruth Pelham's "I Cried".

Today was real tough, I got out of bed,
I cuddled with my teddy bear and then laid down my head
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

I said, "I won't wear those shoes and I won't wear those socks,
And I won't go to school if I can't bring my new rocks,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

Breakfast was a real scene. I would not eat my eggs,
I got jam in my hair and I spilled juice all down my legs,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

School was no better. My best friend was sick.
I got gum all on my homework. In gym I got kicked,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

Came home after school. Fresh muffins on the plate.
(not sure about that line) My daddy poured me a glass of milk and I put down my head,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

My dad said, "What is wrong?" and this is what I said:
"I wish that you and Mom would live together again,"
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

"Your mom and I are good friends, no longer husband and wife,
But we will always love you, we'll love you all our lives,"
And then we cried, cried, cried, cried.

Today was real tough. I got ready for bed.
I combed my hair and brushed my teeth and put the pillow over my head,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.
(gradually slower) cried, cried, cried... cri... (soft snore).


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Escamillo
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:56 AM

We have in common something great in this community: we sing (or play) when we're happy, and when we're sad, and sing and play when we are desperate and when we´re in love. And will sing when going to war and to our own funeral. And there will always be somebody listening and sharing our feelings, and some of them could be our own children.
Best wishes, Mrrzy. Un abrazo - Andrés


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 04:14 AM

"Trouble in Mind"
and insert suitable name in brackets:
Gonna grab me a picket from somebody's fence
Gonna whip [ ] until s/he learns some sense
RtS
:o(


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 09:49 AM

Mrzzy ----- I can't relate entirely because I don't have any children. And I have wallowed before but thankfully it's been a good while. I find letting loose with a good yodel is helpful - probably because the breathing actually feels good. I also find that writing songs is very cathartic. I guess the last time I wallowed, I had been robbed of my entire paycheck and two credit cards (by subterfuge and not at gunpoint) and I sat down with my bead box and made a really splendid necklace. I never wore it, and later on, I took it apart and used the beads for something else. It wasn't the necklace itself, but the making of it that I really needed.

I wish you all the best. ----------------KFC


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr-at-work
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 10:13 AM

and coping...
Barbara, GREAT song. Is it to the tune of anything I might know, as I can't read music? And KFC, I think I will sculpt later, good idea.

Anyway, I do feel a lot better (thanks to you all mostly, but it's also morning, I've had coffee and all) so we can go back to What do you sing when you feel awful?


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 12:27 PM

"I Could Have Danced All Night"

It makes me smile and waltz and sends my cats scurrying in terror that I am going to waltz with them. A previous unfortunate incident which also makes me smile.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 12:57 PM

Yep...Hank on the rocks with your favorite Kentucky Straight bourbon whiskey chaser. That ought to do it.


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Subject: Lyr Add: I FEEL LIKE HANK WILLIAMS TONIGHT (Walker
From: GUEST,bobbybuzz
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 01:05 PM

Here's a tune that speaks for me every dark hour: Jerry Jeff Walker's "I FEEL LIKE HANK WILLIAMS TONIGHT."

I could live my whole life without a phone call
The likes of which I got today.
It was only my wife; said hello, then goodbye,
And told me she's goin' away.

Well, I didn't cry; it was all cut and dry.
I hung up before I realized.
I turned up my stereo, I walked to the window,
And stared at the storm clouds outside.

CHORUS: And I play classical music when it rains.
I play country when I am in pain,
But I won't play Beethoven; the mood's just not right.
I feel like Hank Williams tonight.

There was no explanation, not even a reason,
No talk of the good times we had.
Was it me? Was it her? I don't know for sure.
That's why I'm feelin' so bad.

CHORUS: Hey, I play jazz when I am confused.
I play country whenever I lose.
Bird's saxophone just don't seem right.
I feel like Hank Williams tonight.

Lately, I been thinkin', I just might quit drinkin',
But now I don't know, all in all.
I just might stay home, get drunk all alone,
And punch a few holes in the wall.

CHORUS: 'Cause when I'm real high, I play rock 'n' roll.
I play country when I'm losin' control.
I don't play Chuck Berry quite as much as I'd like.
Now I feel like Hank Williams tonight.
Now I feel like Hank Williams tonight.


Peace to your heart and soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,bobbybuzz
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 01:09 PM

oops! well, you get the gist of it, i hope!


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Willie-O
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 01:16 PM

"Box of Rain" by the Grateful Dead (American Beauty).

Can't begin to know how you feel, when i think about my kids going with one parent or the other...my imagination stops cold. I literally cannot visualize this.

Sculpt, definitely. Do stuff that you can do. It is still worth doing.

Best,
Willie-O


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 02:27 PM

keep saying over and over:
WHALE OIL BEEF HOOKED


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:13 PM

Box of Rain! Yes, I'd forgotten that one! Whale oil, indeed, and it ain't OIL who arthur beef hooked. Just who dun bean, I guess...


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: paddymac
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:19 PM

As already noted, time is the only real cure, but in the meantime, love the kids and focus on helping them get through their own bad time. You and they will be the better for it. I've never heard of anyone who felt they got a fair deal in a divorce proceeding. Most everybody who has ever been through it, especially where kids are involved, feels they got screwed. Sometimes that is truly the case, but mostly it's a case of reality falling short of unrealistic expectations. Remember that the kids won't want to come to you if all they ever get is whinning and moaning and crying. Put on you brightest and best and your happiest face and have fun with the kids. Don't try to buy their affection, but don't be stingy in giving yours. You'll find out soon enough that the little buggers can be devilishly efficient and expoiting differences between mom & dad. Don't let them get by with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:26 PM

Almost didn't think of my favorite Latin phrase, and this is when to say it!

"Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit", or something. Means "perhaps this too will be a pleasure to look back on someday."


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Barbara
Date: 15 Jun 00 - 11:08 AM

Mrr, I'll see if I can find time to write out the tune and post it on Alan's page later today. (then you'll be able to click on it and play). Alternatively I can send you MIDI file of it, as an email attachment. It has its own tune and I can't think of anything else it sounds like. Ruth Pelham has CDs out, and I think other people have recorded this, but I learned it in the folk community. Dunno who's recorded it.
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 15 Jun 00 - 12:16 PM

Thanks, Barbara, my personal email is on bbc if you want to try to send it to me. I have printed it out and reread it whenever I start feeling the dagger in my heart (I know that sounds cornier than a Reuben but that IS what it feels like, sorry, and I have been having evisceration nightmares too) and it helps, it makes me cry a little and then I go back to whatever I was doing. Just what I wanted, love this place. Mudcatters, you are the best.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Jun 00 - 12:45 PM

REMINDER:

Be kind to yourself and if you need to wallow, wallow bigtime.

That dagger in your heart is real. I remember being numb with grief and looking at a kitchen knife wondering if I cut myself would I feel the pain and would that pain give me a moment's relief from the pain in my heart. Corny? Hackneyed? Sarah Bernhardt dramatic? YES but very real for me at that time.

And no I didn't do it. Time will make it better. I promise. SS


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Barbara
Date: 15 Jun 00 - 06:14 PM

I posted this to Alison to put up at Alan's tune page, and here is the other program:
Blessings,
Barbara

MIDI file: Icried.mid

Timebase: 240

TimeSig: 4/4 24 8
Tempo: 100 (600000 microsec/crotchet)
Start
0720 1 64 080 0192 0 64 064 0048 1 69 080 0192 0 69 064 0048 1 69 080 0384 0 69 064 0096 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 69 080 0576 0 69 064 0144 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0384 0 74 064 0096 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 74 080 0576 0 74 064 0144 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 76 080 0192 0 76 064 0048 1 74 080 0192 0 74 064 0048 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 71 080 0192 0 71 064 0048 1 69 080 0384 0 69 064 0096 1 64 080 0384 0 64 064 0096 1 72 080 0192 0 72 064 0048 1 71 080 0192 0 71 064 0048 1 69 080 1056 0 69 064
End

This program is worth the effort of learning it.

To download the March 10 MIDItext 98 software and get instructions on how to use it click here

ABC format:

X:1
T:
M:4/4
Q:1/4=100
K:C
E8|A2A4c2|A6c2|d2d4c2|d6c2|d2d2d2c2|d2d2d2c2|
d2d2d2c2|e2d2c2B2|A4E4|c2B2A4|-A19/4||


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jun 00 - 06:46 PM

Got the emailed one too, thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Judy Predmore
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 03:31 AM

Mrrzy,

You mentioned Joni Mitchell's CAREY Get Out Your Cane. Joni Mitchell has a song for every mood. Of course at least half her repertoire is for wallowing in sadness, depression, confusion, loss, loneliness, longing, etc. And I imagine you find that her upbeat songs, like Carey, are still good for down moods, either to go down further or to feel up temporarily. Her songs have such feeling, they help you cope with just about any feeling, by helping you really feel them, not just wallowing, but feeling fully alive.

About 10 years ago, I used to pick my boyfriend up from work, & whenever he'd see Joni Mitchell or Reba McEntire tapes strewn through the car, he'd automatically ask me what's bothering me... A lot of country music is great for both wallowing & forgetting sadness...


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Chicky
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 03:45 AM

Oh Mrrzy, I know what you mean. Yesterday my 4mth old baby was diagnosed with an infantile form or epilepsy (with a potentially disastrous prognosis), and I found myself holding him in the Emergency department of hospital rocking him through a set of seizures, and only when the nurse gave me a funny look did I realise I was singing. And the song was John Dowland's Lachrimae (otherwise known as Flow My Tears - how appropriate).

Hang in there.
- Chicky


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 04:42 AM

Hi Mrrr

Remember me ;)

Just read the thread... Sorry to hear about your troubles.

But well, here is what I do to wallow if it helps any.

I drive out to my most favourite spot in the country, park up, take my whistle (the lightest thing I have instrument-wise) and walk down to my spot. Which happens to be an old ancient church in the middle of nowhere, across fields and not a road in sight. It has a lovely walled cemetery and is so peaceful and quiet it is unbelievable.

I sit on the steps of the now not used much church (it is only a little one - with a little bell on the outside, a wooden porch, and yew trees all around) and I sing to myself...

A STOR MO CHROI, or a hundred other mournful ballads, play a few airs etc.

If I can't that, then it is on with the Cowboy Junkies, and relax and think a bit.

Most of all, make sure you see the boys as and when you can. Make sure you let them know how much you love them and don't be afraid to talk to them about things. My nieces have been going thru a similar thing, and for two young girls, they are incredibly perceptive, and they know more than you think they do. They miss their father a lot, who unfortunately is not very supportive and doesn't go to see them any more than two times a year.

All the best

Ella

The church thing may sound a bit gloomy, but it isn't the views are terrific, and inspiring and it is such a warm place.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 10:34 AM

Actually, Ella, it sounds marvelous. I love hanging out in graveyards, they are so peaceful and tend to be beautiful too...And Chicky, my younger twin has neurological "issues" and has been seen in an epilepsy clinic (he used to kind of "check out" sometimes and shake, he doesn't anymore) and the clinic had these cool cartoon books of Seizure Man, a superhero who helps epileptics and helps people understand epilepsy. You might want to see if there are any such books to read to your poor baby, whom I hope can find a medication that works!
Very few things are more dismal than ERs when it's your child who is the emergency. I couldn't sing then, my throat was too closed, but I sang later...


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Praise, minus cookie
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 11:18 AM

Well, one day I was having a really miserable time, and I opened my mouth to sing, and the most amazing song came out instead of the unhappy one I had thought I would sing. It was a praise piece we do at church, "In Moments Like This." The tone of the song is one I always associated with happiness, and praising God from that mood. But this was like music therapy--- and there are a few more I know that work that way too. Instant lift, when I least think a lift is possible. (In fact, I copy-edited a whole book on praise, and it is amazing how powerful praise is to counter any negativity, and the book shows how and why.)

Well, I don't have the songbook here at work, but the song I referenced goes something like this, and you can adapt it with any names....:

In moments like this, I lift up my voice, I lift up a lovesong to [Jesus],
In moments like this, I lift up my voice, I lift up my voice to [my Lord.]
Singing I love you, [Lord];
Singing I love you, [Lord]}.
Singing I.... love.... you... [Lord],
I love you.

Then there is In His Time.... or Beauty for Ashes, even better:

He gave me Beauty for Ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise
For the spirit of heaviness
That we might be trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord,
That He might be glorified.

These are all available on Maranatha or Integrity/Hosanna praise music recordings. And Christian radio is an amazingly supportive resource.

And of course I will pray for you and your family. Feel free to send me a personal message if you want to discuss further... some things really just suck, don't they?

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 12:59 PM

Don't they just. I like the one with the godwords in brackets, so I could sing to whatever I chose (I am not a Christian); I'd probably sing it to the twins.

And I want to thank you all again for your well-wishes, I have even gotten some personal mail on this, which I truly appreciate (even though one was from someone whose name I didn't recognize and I got a little paranoid, sorry). I wish I could say it's getting better, but all I can say right now is that I do know from experience that it WILL get better. It took years after Daddy was killed, but I don't have the luxury of years with this one, so feel free to keep the good thoughts, prayers, whatever, coming.

I might be incommunicado for the weekend, going to see Mom (poor thing, she always manages to say exactly the wrong thing, but I don't want to deprive her of her chance to try to comfort), but I won't stay gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Jun 00 - 07:11 PM

Well, that is Moms for ya, we all have one, or had, at least. I am sure she is hurting too, as she won't be able to see her grandkids as much. Just try and remember, Mrzz, that at one point, you loved each other enough to marry, and that was important, too. No real advice here, I am sure you have heard it all and are sick of it. Just keep being both Daddy and The Father.


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr-chez-Mom
Date: 17 Jun 00 - 12:25 AM

I have heard a lot of it but more is always welcome (see, I couldn't stay away!)...

Also, I talked to a "professional" today and that helped a lot. One thing they pointed out to me is that the reason I keep having this pain in my chest is that I'm forgetting to breathe, apparently a common symptom of emotional distress. If I take a deep breath as soon as the pain starts it does stop so they were right, and that already leaves me feeling less anguished as I don't have that squeezing feeling in my chest. I had gotten into some kind of negative feedback loop, where I felt bad so I didn't breathe so I hurt so I felt worse... (The Chinese medical theories hold that depression/sadness goes to the lungs, makes sense to me).
So, keep the good words and songs coming, I sang a bunch of Cat Stevens today, Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa, and every Cynthia Gooding I could remember about maidens weeping, of which there are many...


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jun 00 - 01:21 AM

also see www.rc.org

I have details if helpful.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jun 00 - 09:38 PM

Praise, good site. Look guys, I got a cookie at Mom's! Without committing any mudcat crimes, I hope? Joe? I went into Membership and "reset" my cookie and now it has me as Mrrzy from here, is this OK?


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Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 17 Jun 00 - 10:29 PM

I wonder if Hankies were named after old Hank, today I saw you on the street and my heart fell at my feet, Williams. He certainly made them more popular. Better check ye old etymology. I think fizz came from the old english word for fart. Now, don't choke on your coke and snort it out your nose when you think of it.


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