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MudCat Tavern Enterprise

Amos 20 Apr 00 - 10:30 PM
Mbo 20 Apr 00 - 08:07 AM
Biskit 20 Apr 00 - 01:43 AM
wysiwyg 20 Apr 00 - 01:35 AM
Barky 20 Apr 00 - 01:31 AM
wysiwyg 20 Apr 00 - 01:28 AM
Biskit 20 Apr 00 - 01:21 AM
wysiwyg 20 Apr 00 - 01:09 AM
Biskit 20 Apr 00 - 12:59 AM
wysiwyg 20 Apr 00 - 12:39 AM
Biskit 20 Apr 00 - 12:27 AM
GUEST,JenEllen 20 Apr 00 - 12:07 AM
Mbo 19 Apr 00 - 11:54 PM
wysiwyg 19 Apr 00 - 11:52 PM
Biskit 19 Apr 00 - 11:45 PM
Barky 19 Apr 00 - 11:28 PM
Biskit 19 Apr 00 - 11:02 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 19 Apr 00 - 10:08 PM
GUEST,JenEllen 19 Apr 00 - 09:52 PM
katlaughing 19 Apr 00 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,JenEllen 19 Apr 00 - 09:35 PM
MMario 19 Apr 00 - 09:27 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 19 Apr 00 - 09:24 PM
Biskit 19 Apr 00 - 08:45 PM
Lonesome EJ 19 Apr 00 - 08:19 PM
MMario 19 Apr 00 - 07:58 PM
Mbo 19 Apr 00 - 07:54 PM
Caitrin 19 Apr 00 - 07:28 PM
skarpi 19 Apr 00 - 07:08 PM
Biskit 19 Apr 00 - 07:06 PM
GUEST,JenEllen 19 Apr 00 - 02:16 PM
MMario 19 Apr 00 - 11:37 AM
GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU 19 Apr 00 - 10:47 AM
Caitrin 19 Apr 00 - 10:29 AM
catspaw49 19 Apr 00 - 09:55 AM
MMario 19 Apr 00 - 09:49 AM
Peter T. 19 Apr 00 - 09:26 AM
GUEST,JenEllen 19 Apr 00 - 12:21 AM
Mbo 18 Apr 00 - 10:39 PM
catspaw49 18 Apr 00 - 10:37 PM
Caitrin 18 Apr 00 - 10:12 PM
Mbo 18 Apr 00 - 10:02 PM
katlaughing 18 Apr 00 - 09:49 PM
Mbo 18 Apr 00 - 09:22 PM
Caitrin 18 Apr 00 - 08:16 PM
GUEST,Peter T. 18 Apr 00 - 04:51 PM
MMario 18 Apr 00 - 02:41 PM
GUEST,JenEllen 18 Apr 00 - 02:39 PM
katlaughing 18 Apr 00 - 02:31 PM
MMario 18 Apr 00 - 02:01 PM
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Subject: RE: Continued...
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 10:30 PM

Part Two of this bold adventure, singing where none have sung before, can be found over here for your reading pleasure. 'Ware!


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 08:07 AM

Don't worry Cap'n, a flux relay spanner works extra good on zapping the cytoclasm outta the little Protoctista buggers! >>ZAP<< (knew these engineering tools would come in handy one day...)

--Lieutenant Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 01:43 AM

ARGH! this is gonna be wanna dem memories, I can feel it in me bones,ARGH! AK AK AK AK ARGH!


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 01:35 AM

Kickers Secured, Aye, CC BArky!

Them Protozoans will never get our knickers!

Nor spread the Deadly Epizootics among us neither!


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Barky
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 01:31 AM

Suddenly, through everyone's uniform pins comes the voice of C.C Barky. "Everyone to there respective posts," she said, "This is a red alert. The Protozoan ship is approaching quickly and is set on destroying us! It is thought some might have boarded us against our knowledge! So be alert! The universe needs more lerts! WHOOOEEE! I crack myself up! Seriously, keep an eye, or two, or two, or three, or four, depending on your species, out for Protozoans on board! They can be distinguished by their visible innards and many wavey tenticles!" And she clicked off, leaving everyone on the ship extra alert.

~C.C. Barky


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 01:28 AM

Biskit, I know! Let's make a stop on our way to the Lounge!!

Yes... here it is... the Quartermaster's Stores! We'll secure all the knickers! Yeah!! Beam them over to your stateroom for safekeeping! Hee hee heee.... Wow! The colors! Look-- these fabrics are amazing! They never issue US these, do they?

Ok, the Lounge... no! The Laundry! The ship's company's clean knickers! Shh!!! Yeah pour another, then, let's go...

OK, got em! Yee hah!! I love this Yowzah holiday!

Are you still sober enough to reprogram your phaser to snatch the rest of the ship's knickers from off their wearers and beam them over to your cabin too? We can auction them off...

Here, I'll program the replicator to make new knickers only on our command... yeah if anyone else tries they'll come out WAY too small...

OK, here's the Lounge then, we'll just alk in like nothing's going on.... yes, I would be honored to go in on your arm....


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 01:21 AM

Reckon they'll hava jello pit?ARGH! but it's good ta sees ya praise, my but yer hairs lookin'especirrrrly fluffy an' curley t'night...ya'sure ya won't be embarearsed bein seed wi' th' likes a me.My but ya look like a reglar vision.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 01:09 AM

......Amid a shower of sparkles the woman arrives thru the BeamMe port, holding two large, clean glasses in her hand, her hair especially curly and fluffy tonight in celebration of that fine holiday celebrated in the middle eastern intergalactic quadrant, Yowzah.

"Let's us go over to the Lounge and hear some special Yowzah music, Biskit me friend, I think it's called Verklemmptzmer. Remember the last taverns we were in together? Maybe we can have some more fun in the Lounge!"


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 12:59 AM

Capn' Biskit comes stumblin' back into the small gathering having sampled a little of the 50 year ol' black gnarley on the way back from his ship(...well he had to make sure it was still alright didn't he?" Praise ..Dear Lass, come share this bottle wi' me an we'll talk of better times Aye, afore the fittin starts.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 12:39 AM


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 12:27 AM

Me Knickers! Me long lost Knickers!!ARGH! it brings a tear to me one good eye. me ol' ship mate praise must be ,ere abouts....I'll jus' go back to me bridge and break out thet 50 year ol' black gnarley I've been asavin........praise.....good ol' praise..........ARGH she even gart thet ol' stain out ARGH! bless `er art...........


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,JenEllen
Date: 20 Apr 00 - 12:07 AM

"Why Lieutenant, come out from behind that palm tree. No need to be hiding in here. The door to the vile weed's room is closed, and I assure you he's eaten this month already."

Mandy sat cross-legged on a planting table delicately dislodging a root bound violet. As the lieutenant neared, she got a vague sense of dread from the young one. She often felt these emotions from other people. Her parents had told her once that her line held many seers, she never understood it really, but it had helped her out of many a jam.

"Captain-in-Chief Barky? Then her mission was successful? That IS cause to celebrate! Here, come have some of these delightful strawberries I picked this afternoon." The lieutenant hesitantly accepted.

"The bird? Why yes, it was a gift. Many generations ago, while humans were still bound to their puny little planet, C.C. Barky's family and mine shared common ancestry. In fact, many aboard the Enterprise now have ancestors that came together in one common event. A wild and trecherous steamboat race took place on an Earth river. Many lives were lost, and those that survived, well, they changed the course of history forever."

The lieutenant climbed, in a trance, onto the planting table and sat across from Mandy.
"Oh yes, our daring C.C. came from a line of humans named Montesquieu. Barky's namesake was a headstrong and defiant woman who not only helped to save the passengers aboard the Albert Hansell, but her kind heart also rescued a poor bird that had been hurt in the battle. My ancestor, once the battle was won, allowed her familiar to go free. The bird flew away, and in glancing over it's shoulder in a final goodbye, flew straight into the smokestack of the Albert Hansell. The replica of this tiny raptor was my gift to Barky. If you look at it closely, you will notice it to be nothing more than peach pits and kudzu, but it is a reminder to our C.C. that she must keep bravery in her heart, with kindness as well. It is her destiny to do so."


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Mbo
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 11:54 PM

Did I hear that an engineering team was needed on the bridge? Oh! Captain-in-Chief! Welcome aboard! Sorry, can't play the sonic boatswain pipe, so I can't pipe you on properly! ;)

--Lieutenant Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 11:52 PM

... And suddenly, the BeamMe port activated as if on its own, and a pair of badly abused men's knickers (pressed and folded) materialized in mid air just behind the lovely and spiritually resplendent Captain in Chief...

just out of reach of the Capn they call not Crunch, but Biskit....


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 11:45 PM

ARGH! matey, who be the lass wi' the squab on'er shoulder,sure an she be a pretty lass, ma'be ol capn' Biskit'll go on over an mek`er aquaitnce, ARHG! `ello me fair one .


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Barky
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 11:28 PM

"Hello, everyone!" After a long time away, Captain-in-chief Barky (formerly Lieutenant Barky, but while she was gone, she saved the Captain's home planet Ukelelen, giving her the exalted rank of Captain-in-Chief) enters the bridge, seemingly more... hmm... spiritual than before. Maybe it was the hippie beads that did it, or maybe it was the semi-charred kestrel that seemed VERY familiar, but the memories didn't place it on HER shoulder.

"Hey, Captain-in-chief Barky..."
"Just call me C.C. Barky, please, Lieutenant."
"Yes, Ma'am. I was just wondering, C.C. Barky, why you had a bird on your shoulder... I mean... it's not every day someone comes walking on to the bridge with a REAL LIVE bird on there shoulder. Especially a... charred one."

The C.C. got a far away look on her face, as though she was lost in the mist of many years.
"Oh, Lieutenant, this isn't a REAL bird. It's an exact replica of a bird I once knew VERY well, taken from memories I recently achieved in my enlightenment process. If you really MUST know the story, ask the bare-foot woman... What's her name? I've forgotten, I've been so long gone. Anyway, ask her to tell. I'm sure she remembers how she made me a gift... Never mind. Back to your duties"


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 11:02 PM

AYE! Capn' Dave, me old cosmos farin'shipmate, why the larst time I seen ya wuz out on the bounding maine lobster nebuli,how be ya mate? ARGH!,I hopes yur ready fer a goodern we'll band together Argh! `gainst that scurvy space dog capn'Billy ARGH!


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 10:08 PM

The Grace Darlings patients are being given the best medical care available. Dave reports to the Mudcat Enterprise bridge. Keep a sharp lookout on your sensors. The space pirates that did this to the Vulcan science exploration vessel are dangerous. The Grace Darling is equipped to defend herself against attack, but we are a small rescue cruiser, we would not be able to fight off more than one pirate vessel. Word is that Billy the Trid is in this quadrant, best prepare for anything. If he boards you I suggest you keep fighting, he shows no mercy. My crew and I have seen his work before, especially defend the females; all ages!. Should you need me I shall be aboard my ship and keep our systems on stand by, I can deploy in two minutes if needed. Aye.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:52 PM

Mandy skidded to a halt in front of the geranium's room. Her extra toes, a by-product of Mandolian genetics, gripped the floor with tenacity only seen in the aforementioned Mandolian toes, and space barnacles. She took a deep breath and entered the room.

"Still sitting in here, sir? You simply MUST come with me to dinner. Chef has prepared a repast of Fuggerfruit that it would be a crime to miss." She manuvered herself in between the Green Man and the potted plant, chatting noisily all the time. She then passed the man a note reading "YOU ARE IN DANGER HERE! LEAVE THIS ROOM IMMEDIATELY!" Her sari spread in front of the plant, it never suspected a thing.

They left the room under the guise of going to dinner, all the while, Mandy secretly thanking the Academy for her spy training.....and downstairs in the garden deck, plots were forming.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:37 PM

Counselor A'Troi took special note, in the woven threads of existence, of the stranger in skins, singing about roving, Very interesting fellow...must come from a very cold place, she thought.

(egads, Leej, that's BRILL!)


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:35 PM

*JAY-SUS Leej! ROTFLMAO*

Mandy left the room in a barefooted hurry. She ran like hell to the garden deck, and further still into the room of the Frodis.
"Just checking the lighting! Can't have you wilting away!" she barked.

On her way out, with all the stealth of a fart in a spacesuit, she left a rake leaning in the door. It thunked shut, with a 2 inch gap that she peered through intently. She plucked and peeled an orange from one of her trees, munching it while she monitored the plant's every move.

"Green Man, my old friend," the plant sneered "We meet again. So many years ago you tried to learn the secrets of the forests of Aldebaran. I thwarted you then, I shall do so again."

Mandy threw her orange peel into the compost modulator and went to try to get the Green Man out of the spell of the mad geranium.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:27 PM

*The landing bay opens for the
Grace Darling


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:24 PM

Galactic Space Rescue Cruiser Grace Darling Captain Dave requests urgent docking permission, I have three injured Vulcans onboard. Victims of space piracy.. Be advised my vessel is otherwise healthy, no contact with alien disease, and I require free pratique to land my patients.. Over


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 08:45 PM

Leftienant Mbo,I'm capn' Biskit of the space frieghter"NONCONFORMIST",ARGH! matie it brings a tear to me one good eye to inform ye that the dread' pirite Billy th' Trid isa headdin' thisa way ARRRGH! by the way I got yur load of Dilihtium crystals aboard me ship ifn ya could find me a couple a lackeys to unload'er I'd be muchabliged ARRRGH!


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 08:19 PM

The dread intergalactic pirate Billy the Trid smacked his three lips and guzzled another Gargleblaster. "Tina!" he shouted,"bring another platter of these bastards! I think I'm getting a buzz!" The eight-legged arachno-droid named Cartoosh sauntered up with a jaunty air, the patch on his compound eye vibrating in excitement. "Captain Bill!" he hissed," we've located her! The Mudcat Enterprise is in the Barium Sector of the Sactoplesian Planetary System, sailing along like a plump fat goose who..." Billy the Trid cut him off."Spare me the similes, you clanking colliginous excuse for a space spider. I already knew that!" The Trid found that the gargleblasters were making him cranky in a rather pleasurable way.

The Trid's interplanetary pirate craft, The StarShagger, had departed the Pleasure Planet of Orgasmia seveal days ago, its cargo bays crammed full of Lustmelons and Fuggerfruit that would bring a handy profit among the frustrated inhabitants of Puritania. But Billy was in no particular hurry to get there. He had discovered a full score of stowaway Orgasmian Lingerie Models in the aft hold, and they were working off the price of their fare in various creative ways that had the Trid's colossal pear-shaped head spinning like an Ishtarian Djinni. To find the Enterprise boldly going into the dangerous alleyways of the Sactoplesian System where he could easily shake her down for whatever booty she would surely be freighting...well, it was just too much temptation.

"Warp speed!"shouted the Trid."Huh?" replied Cartoosh. "Step on it, Crawler! I mean to overtake the Mudcat enterprise and have my pleasure of her!" The arachnid saluted "aye aye, sir...and will you be requiring the Lingerie Models again this evening." Billy lifted a sigh."Alas, no, I'd best rest my schleeber for the raping and pillaging that lies ahead."


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 07:58 PM

Lt. Mbo - I do believe you have uncovered a conspiracy!


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Mbo
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 07:54 PM

(I feel you folks know as much about this stuff I DON'T than I do about Star Trek! Green Man, Mandy, Matriach, what in bloody heck are you talking about?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Caitrin
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 07:28 PM

"Yes...the Green Man is definitely on board, Irantz." Ensign Caitrin said. "I can sense his presence. You know he's up to no good."
The Klofian looked thoughtful. "Indeed. He must be watched carefully. Do not alert him to the fact that we know he is here yet. The element of surprise will serve us well."
"Yes, Matriarch. I shall inform our other operatives to keep their minds open."


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: skarpi
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 07:08 PM

" security " theres a stranger on board mudcat Enterprise captain what shall we do? He is on section 32. Go down there and look who is down there. Yes sir. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh captain I see a man a big man he has on a skin clothes and a helmet woth horns and he is holding on to some thing I cant see what it is, but I can hear him hes singin?????????? what a.......... ( the stranger walks on to the security man and sings) Im a rover seldom sober Im a rover........

Anyway where is the mudcat Enterprise going? same way captain Janeway?.

All the skarpi Iceland.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Biskit
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 07:06 PM

Ship to ship communication coming in sir: This is cap'n Biskit o'the space freighter;NONCONFORMIST, requesting tractor beam and docking clearance.....over


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 02:16 PM

Mandy finished watering in the greenhouse, and took her watering can to tend the far-flung botanicals on board. The rings on her toes made a tap-tap as she ran up the service stairs. She'd had about enough of the pneumatic doors sucking in her skirts and leaving her stranded until the next JoeSpacesuit came along.

When she entered the room of Gladys and the Daisies, she saw a strange green man staring at the geranium, deep in concentration. She was at once overpowered with the smell of sage...no..heather...no...new mowed grass.....Olfactory stimuli that took her mind back to Mandola and the last time she had felt dirt between her toes.

As she made her way closer, she thought she saw leaves in his matted hair. As she reached to pull them out she noticed that it wasn't exactly hair that he had...more like branches. The leaves were growing there.

She introduced herself to the green man, and poured him another cup of tea before tending to the plant. She could hear the buzzing of the microtransmitter and wondered if it had escaped the attentions of the green man
"Must you send every little thing down to that horrible creature?" asked Mandy to the geranium
"Yes" nodded one of the Daisies
"Oh yes, yes, yes!" bobbed the rest in unison
"No fear, m'dear" said the swaying Gladys, who only ever seemed to talk in rhyme anymore.
"She needs a touch more nitrogen in the soil at the next re-potting, I think" smiled Mandy as she left the green man to his thoughts.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 11:37 AM

Lt. Mbo! Don't use phasers! They have proven to be ineffective against voles. You surely have read that in The Manual of Federation Engineer's Quarterly Digest Anthology of Reccomended Practices in Fleet Starships Yearbook. Use a de-modulated open string frailed banjo! If that doesn't work, add in a syncopated beat with a dilithium powered bodrhan.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 10:47 AM

Lieutenant Barky is now at CONN? Dang, she musta switched MOS's! We still got voles down here! We're firing phasers on rotating intensity...it's only so long before they adapt...ARG! There goes warp matrix monitor no.5!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Caitrin
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 10:29 AM

"Firing Barbershop Tremolo Wave, Captain!" A burst of four-part harmony blasted the Klingon fighters and completely incapacitated them.
"Excellent choice, Captain!" the ensign said.
The captain looked rather smug. "Of course it was. That's why I'm the captain."
Ensign Caitrin looked at her super-futuristic-watch-thingy and saw that it was time for the shift change. Sure enough, there was Barky to take over the navigating post.
Caitrin exited the bridge and headed down to Ten Forward. It was time for a bit of information exchange.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:55 AM

Traversing the corridors of this vast ship, Spaw felt the explosions too. He was wary of what might be occuring, but no one seemed in the least troubled as he past by them. This ship had an odd assortment of life forms on it and they all acted cool, calm, and collected......much like garbage......although most would give him a curious glance. Oddly though, none spoke to him. Maybe it was the dirty clothes or the vague aroma of possum piss or maybe they just didn't like him. Before he put any thought into why that might be, he would need a drink.

Where the hell was the tavern on this beast?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:49 AM

Over the communicators comes the voice of the ships sentient computer "Please do not be alarmed by the apparent explosions you may have heard. Repeat, Do Not be Alarmed. They are in fact, not explosions at all, rather they appear to be flatulent attacks traced to an intruder in a towel. Repeat, the apparent explosions are merely flatulence from a toweled intruder. Any personel siting the intruder please direct him to sickbay for emergency gas relief."


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Peter T.
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 09:26 AM

The animal smell of the departing mammal was more pungent than the usual nauseating fragrance of human beings, but the Green Man had more or less become used to that. Being half-human himself, and having had to endure many many years of supposedly amusing references to a 20th century purveyor of canned vegetables, he could be as dormant about it as any decent plant. But his ridiculous human side kept bursting in. When he thought of what the Elders had tried to teach him, and the years among the Great Oaks of Aldebaran, and what a ridiculous shoot he still was, it made him want to stop watering himself and just wither away.

Not to mention being reduced to talking to geraniums. If Rose his mother knew that he was talking to geraniums. They were so boring -- I mean, one calls herself Daisy, and the rest nod their heads, and do the same. Too much cross-pollination. A bunch of phytoborgs. You might as well spend a weekend with lichens showing you slides of their favourite rocks.

He put down his cup of tea, and sighed. He had hoped that at least the tea would help, that it would taste like that famous night on Omega-Ceylon when he had licked the burning sweat off the heaving, liquifying body of the infamous Tea Lady -- he could remember the whole ritual -- the vast hot vessel, the boiling of their desire, the infusion of his and her leaves into the bubbling water, the five minutes of steeping, no more, the pouring of each other into ecstasy, and then the slathering of Devonshire cream all over-- here his reverie was interrupted by another set of explosions.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,JenEllen
Date: 19 Apr 00 - 12:21 AM

Little did the Green Man know, the Daisies and Gladys had lied when they said they were turning over a new leaf.....

The microphones and fiber optic recorders hid in their delicate foliage took in everything the Green Man said and did. The information filtered down through their roots to the transmitter in the bottom of their planter, and was transmitted once again to the garden deck.

"By Orion's Belt! I hate going in there!" though Mandy as the door swished to a close behind her. The gigantic man-eating plant called itself Frodis, and had taken it's own room in the garden deck just shortly after Mandy arrived on board. Most of the time the plant sat swaying and humming to itself, and really was no bother, but days like today made her fear for her very life. She coiled the misting hose, and put away her trowel. The hose was for water, the trowel was filed razor sharp....for protection.

Frodis was alive with electricity. It's branches tingled and sparked with electricity. Gladys and the Daisies were telling it everything it needed to know.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Mbo
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 10:39 PM

Not exactly...same album though...

Did you see the lights
As they fell all around you?
Did you hear the music?
Serenade from the stars

Wake up, wake up
Wake up and look all around you
We're lost in space
And the time is our own

Did you feel the wind
As it blew all around you
Did you feel the love
That was in the air
Wake up, wake up
Wake up and look around you
We're lost in space
And the time is our own

The sun comes up
And it shines all around you
You're lost in space
And the earth is your own


--Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 10:37 PM

"Yo Admiral...How's tricks?" Spaw asked as the Terran Commander swept past him in the corridor. The admiral slowed and a quizzical look crossed his face but he shook it off and pressed on toward his destination.

The door that the admiral had just exited was still open and Spaw stepped inside. Once again the door acted as though it were trying to catch him and slammed shut. Mumbling a few profanities he looked around the room and saw the green man talking to the geranium.

"Yo bro....How ya' doin'?"

The green man turned and stared at him with an air of disdain, but when he spoke it was friendly enough.

"Good day sir.....May I introduce you to my friend Daisy here? They are all named Daisy except this one who answers only to Gladys."
"Yeah, I've run across them before. I spent some time on Rflosrij-7 a long time ago....The whole place is full of them.........Say, do you know where I can find a place to get a drink on this thing? Or a laundry maybe? See, these are the only clothes I have and my towel smells like possum piss and sweat socks and I was hoping....."

The green man had returned to his conversation with Daisies and Gladys and Spaw turned and faced the door once again. This time the door remained shut even after several attempts at pushing the button. He applied his huge foot to the task and with another indignant whoosh the door slid open. Glaring with great menace at the door, Spaw went through and on down the passage trying to decipher the symbols affixed to each door.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Caitrin
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 10:12 PM

You wanna fly like an eagle, kat? : )


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Mbo
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 10:02 PM

Lieutenant Mbo instinctively began to sing a song he'd written many years ago..

The Earth is nice and cozy but it's not for me
I need a place where my spirit can fly free
Somewhere distant, huge and vast...
A little of the future and a little of the past

Blasing a trail to the other side
Where suns and worlds collide
In my starship I will ride
I find myself a place to reside....


--Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 09:49 PM

A'Troi hums to herself, Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping..into the future...


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Mbo
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 09:22 PM

Captain, Sir, this is Lieutenant Mbo down in engineering....bad news...we got voles in the Jeffries tube under the warp core! If we don't inject some anesthazine gas in that tube soon, we'll be dead in space! Commander LaFarge is hopping mad--she says "Off with their heads!" Please send a security team down here?

"Look out space! We're gonna change our place!"

--Lieutenant Mbo


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: Caitrin
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 08:16 PM

I believe someone needs to direct Spaw to Ten Forward, eh?


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,Peter T.
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 04:51 PM

"No thank you, Admiral, I prefer English breakfast if you have it."

The Admiral grunted: "Let it be so." A cup of English Breakfast tea appeared. "Now can you explain why you sent that distress call. The Federation has had its curiosity somewhat piqued. We don't often get requests from Gaians."

The green man smiled."We have been at odds for some time, it is true. You techno-idiots with your inveterate vertebrate bias, your pseudo-American Federation with its necessary enemies that you yourselves have created thanks to your arrogant blundering, your Intergalactic Bank which is underdeveloping the margins of the universe for your own disgusting purposes, and your dismal clothes sense."

"Please," the Admiral replied. "I once spent a week on Chomsky-7, and that was enough for one lifetime. Get to the point."

The green man smiled more broadly, revealing a disconcerting set of green teeth. "As you know, following the grim terra-rist wars in what was left of the Earth in the 21st century, the ruins of the planet were sold to Macrosoft DisneyMart, and those who would not become salespeople were given the choice of being either exterminated or killed, depending on their preference."

There was a sudden explosion.

"Excuse me briefly," said the Admiral, "I think I should go up on the bridge. But finish your tea. We can finish the exposition later."

He left the room. The green man shrugged, and began a conversation concerning recent developments in complexity theory with a pot of geraniums mostly named Daisy sitting on a nearby table.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: MMario
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 02:41 PM

The MT Enterprise continues to cruise onward into the DADGAD sector, warp drive in mxymelodion mode...


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: GUEST,JenEllen
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 02:39 PM

LMAO 'Spaw! Forget the scratching, it gives 'thumb screws' a whole new meaning don't it? *BG*

Mandy finished the daily fruiting, and returned to the growing deck. There had been problems with the water misting system in the oxygen terrarium again, her day was more than cut out for her she thought, as she gathered her tools and hose line.
The barbershop beam had changed to a piercing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart", and Mandy was happy to have it deafened by the hum of the machinery surrounding her plants.
She found the offending hoseline, and it appeared to have been chewed through by a small marsupial???
She quickly set to work replacing the line. She had done this repair a hundred times over, should be a moonpie walk. As she trimmed and replaced the piping, her thoughts drifted to the handsome Terran on the bridge. Spaceboots, indeed. He'd THINK spaceboots if he knew what she had learned just by appearing to wander aimlessly across the Enterprise carrying fruits and flowers.


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 02:31 PM

In the midst of the the destruction of the attack ship, Counselor Kat A'Troi, paused in her meditative replenishing harmoniser arpeggio, a slight shift in the fabric of protection caught her attention. Ah, she thoughtmore souls to crossover...may they find their true spirit forms in the great Void of Silence; they will crave it ov'rmuch after the Barbershop annihilation.

Settling into a Buddha posture once more, she floated gently above the altar in her office, closed all but her Third Eye, and began weaving the golden, purple, violet, green, and orange, blue, and pink Threads of Light emanating from her fingers, spinning a matrix of Harmony in the Air, as a counterpoint to the negative vibrations of demise. The spiritual and emotional wellbeing of the crew depended on it, along with their Vile Black Stuff, sonus-sessions, and other romping pleasures.

A'Troi let out a deep sigh, almost a purr of content-ment, and let herself meld with the Consiousness of One...


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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern Enterprise
From: MMario
Date: 18 Apr 00 - 02:01 PM


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