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BS: So Embarrassed...............!

GUEST,Patrish 08 Mar 00 - 09:10 AM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 08 Mar 00 - 09:23 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 09:27 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 09:30 AM
Áine 08 Mar 00 - 09:45 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 10:00 AM
Jeri 08 Mar 00 - 10:01 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 10:03 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 10:06 AM
Áine 08 Mar 00 - 10:09 AM
GUEST,Patrish 08 Mar 00 - 10:12 AM
MMario 08 Mar 00 - 10:22 AM
fox4zero 08 Mar 00 - 10:23 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 10:24 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 10:27 AM
catspaw49 08 Mar 00 - 10:31 AM
Biskit 08 Mar 00 - 10:32 AM
Steve Latimer 08 Mar 00 - 10:35 AM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 10:44 AM
Bert 08 Mar 00 - 11:11 AM
Mbo 08 Mar 00 - 11:15 AM
Bert 08 Mar 00 - 11:21 AM
Homeless 08 Mar 00 - 11:43 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 08 Mar 00 - 11:50 AM
GUEST,Les B 08 Mar 00 - 11:52 AM
Rick Fielding 08 Mar 00 - 12:02 PM
JedMarum 08 Mar 00 - 12:23 PM
MMario 08 Mar 00 - 12:28 PM
JedMarum 08 Mar 00 - 12:38 PM
JedMarum 08 Mar 00 - 12:40 PM
GUEST 08 Mar 00 - 12:56 PM
JedMarum 08 Mar 00 - 01:10 PM
GUEST,petr 08 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM
Sorcha 08 Mar 00 - 01:34 PM
Micca 08 Mar 00 - 01:46 PM
Osmium 08 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM
wysiwyg 08 Mar 00 - 01:59 PM
Mbo 08 Mar 00 - 02:29 PM
MMario 08 Mar 00 - 02:33 PM
bob schwarer 08 Mar 00 - 02:36 PM
TerriM 08 Mar 00 - 02:46 PM
JedMarum 08 Mar 00 - 04:03 PM
Sorcha 08 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM
Mbo 08 Mar 00 - 04:38 PM
kendall 08 Mar 00 - 04:44 PM
Sorcha 08 Mar 00 - 04:57 PM
The Shambles 08 Mar 00 - 05:44 PM
Helen 08 Mar 00 - 05:46 PM
folk1234 08 Mar 00 - 05:54 PM
Jeri 08 Mar 00 - 06:18 PM
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Subject: So Embarrassed...............!
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 09:10 AM

Well, today I have hit the pinacle of embarrassment....
I went to lunch to a local public house, I drank orange juice (lots to be done this afternoon)-I went to the toilet and when I came back to my seat I had my skirt tucked into my tights.....luckily my mum brought me up well - always wear clean knickers. So after this was pointed out to me ( bear in mind I had walked the length of the pub) - I was so embarrassed, after I had retrieved my skirt, I sat down and promtly dropped my bag......a full packet of tampons jumped out and scattered all over the floor. Everyone picked them up and passed them to me and my face was so red......but, a lot of those people were smiling, so perhaps I gave them a bit of a laugh. It's someone elses turn next time. Please tell me that I am not alone.
still red faced - Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 09:23 AM

People were smiling, not laughing at you love...We've all done something embarrasing; I would count your luck that you had ladies and gentlemen present, who did not make more of your unfortunate circumstances. Hada few sailors been present,you would have been more than red faced. LOL. Aye.Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 09:27 AM

I've had my turn, someone else will havre to go next.

It's 19773. I'm in Boston, age 20. First try at being away from home, living in a roach infested rooming house. Poor??? Oatmeal three times a day, hair falling out. But happy?

Money can be made selling underground paper on street corners. I snag a pile to sell and head for the Copley Square at the corner of Trinity Church and Ken's deli, in sight of library and new Hancock mirrored building. Happy, happy, happy.

Business people and hippies all pass by. Some stop to buy. Smile. Say hello.

A fella I sorta know stops by to chat, hang out. It begins to rain. I'm fine, but wet papers!!! Hurry! To the bulding actos the street that has an overhang at the entrance!

Much rain, fine conversation, smoke (yes) curling up from our silly faces. Poor selling location, though.

Sun reappears. Fine fun, gathering up papers, paraphernalia, purse... Friend takes some of the papers, off we go back to our corner before some other seller sets up there... firned in the lead, I struggling to keep papers from blwoing away... when all of a sudden, halfway through the crosswalk, noon rush hour, broad daylight, I dimly realize pants have fallen to my ankles. Can't walk, will trip. Can't pull em up, hands full. Can't set down papers, pavement wet, have to pay for any I don't sell. W H A T T O D O ? ? ? ? ? Fat girl EXPOSED!!!! I'll be S E E E E E E N N N N ! !!!

Only one response possible. Laughing, laughing, LAUGHING, SCREAMING so funny, so completely OK and funny, helpless, hooting, hollering laughter.

Friend turns, sees predicament, helps, takes papers, I return pants to appropriate position, laughing all the way, laughing all day.

Well, that's one reason I turned out THIS way.

OK, now that's a little shot of female embarrassment, how 'bout it boys!??


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 09:30 AM

Oh, my turn again, 1973!!! Not 19773! Otherwise I've just given a prophecy!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Áine
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 09:45 AM

Why is it that women's most embarrassing moments have to do with their garments?? I've got a good one:

I was working in downtown Dallas at the time, and I was taking my lunch hour to surreptitiously go on a job interview. I wore my best black dress and high heels, but was unable that particular morning to find my black slip. I'd resorted to the too-big white slip instead. As it was summertime and temperatures on the concrete streets and sidewalks in Texas were reaching about 102 degrees (F), I was wearing my pantyhose sans undies.

The wait for the bus to take me to the interview was blessedly short, and I gratefully stepped up to the doors as the bus pulled to a stop. Just as the doors opened and the driver turned his head, a gust of wind blew my skirt AND the slip up over my head! I quickly rearranged everything and walked up the steps of the bus to the smiling face of the driver. He kept grinning and winking at me the whole way to my stop -- I'd obviously made his day. I, on the other hand, arrived at the job interview red-faced and flummoxed. Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:00 AM

MEN!!! Come share, we will be gentle....


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:01 AM

Not going into details here, but if you have a semi-low cut bathing suit with wimpy or no straps, do not, I repeat, DO NOT do your best dive (with hight, graceful arc) off the diving board. (And if you do, make sure your suit's still on while you're down at the bottom of the pool.) Likewise, when trying to learn how to water ski, never fall ass first. The water and bathing suit tend to forcefully migrate places they have no business being. (No one else knew what happened, but I was still embarrased.) Oh, and this didn't happen to me, but a friend once lost her "feminine hygiene product" on a dance floor...


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:03 AM

SCREEEEEMING!!!! Polyp-snapping SCREEEEMING!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:06 AM

SO DO YOU, OR DO YOU NOT, PICK IT UP, REVEALING THE DONOR?


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Áine
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:09 AM

Oh Praise! Of course you don't pick it up -- a discreet kick with the foot while executing a particularly bottom twitching move (thus to attract all male attention away from the offending product) to the farthest corner would be the way to go!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:12 AM

Aine, you are right - garments are not to be relied on
Not so long ago, I was playing tennis with a few friend on the grass beside my mother-in-laws house(which is right next to a railway line. I got quite warm and decided to take my jumper off. Which would have been quite acceptable if I had been wearing anything underneath. And as luck would have it a train came past at the time. Not quite page three, but quite an exposure for me.
come on you chaps....are you all perfect and never get embarrassed about anything!?
Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:22 AM

embarrassment? try being a young teenage boy, whose 5 sisters cannot agree on a brand.....who has to go through a checkout counter with 5 different "feminine hygiene products". (They wouldn't buy them themselves, because THEY were too embarrassed)

Actually, when I was in my mid-thirties and still being introduced by my mother as "one of the babies" was pretty bad too....


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: fox4zero
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:23 AM

Open zipper on fly, perhaps on 300 occasions More often as I get older (inverse proportion to utilization) When I was a teen, or 20-30-40-50 something it was more embarassing. I guess that now I am perceived as an dirty old man, not a flasher.

At my secondary school alumni reunions, my wife had noted that very many of my classmates' wives are rather YOUNG and BEAUTIFUL. Someone said that they were SECOND wives. At the next reunion I met a classmate whom I had not seen for 45 years or more. I took a look at his spouse,who was not pretty but not ugly....just pretty ugly. I blurted out "you must be a first wife" She looked at me with a frown and I realized that there was no way to extract my foot from my mouth. I nervouly said that I was wanted elsewhere and stayed away from that corner of the room for the balance of the evening.

Luv Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:24 AM

Aine, I follow your lead.

Patrish, your honesty touches me!

MEN!!!!! We know you're reading these, now come on--- your story?? C'mon, you can tell your sisters cantcha???


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:27 AM

Good one Larry Luv!!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:31 AM

I dunno gang.......Guys tend to come in two varieties. There are those who are so embarassed to TELL the embarassing moments that they keep quiet and the ones who could personally give a shit and do weird shit like mooning which proves it. My sailing partner and I are both in the second category.......We mooned the local yacht club on several occasions after a bombardment with the APYC. We weren't members and consistently won their regattas in two classes which didn't make us too popular to begin with.

My friend Randy on the other hand.......In high school he came out for the start of a cross-country meet, warmed up, pulled off his sweats, and failed to notice that he'd forgotten his shorts until the assembled crowd was laughing their asses off. Randy is a weird case in other areas too. He has never been able to whiz if anyone is watching. His brother and I always ribbed him about it and it became a joke that all of us enjoyed about "the Dick Watchers." So as Randy headed off to the john at wherever, one of us would tag along as the D-W Patrol. Now here's one where I found some embarassment. One night at a local stock car track, Randy heads for the can, one in a remote location rarely used. As we approached, no one had exited so I started a loud harangue about being on patrol for the Dick-Watchers.....and of course a huge redneck mortarforker walks out at this point. Another time I did a similar thing in a restaurant that had a long hallway back to the head, only to notice later that an old man was right behind me.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Biskit
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:32 AM

I do,....and I have. It just seems I've developed a mental block temporary I hope,it may be a self preservation issue,but am now trying to override@##@*%!!!- -Biskit-


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:35 AM

My grade five school talent night was to be my debut as a dancer. Keep in mind that even at the time I was a "jock." Our class was to dance the Alley Cat in front of all the parents. I was relegated to the back row wih some of my buddies who were as rhythmically challenged as I was. The record started, we were doing our thing when it started to skip. Of course some people tried to keep going and got all messed up, I ended up folding my arms on my chest and standing still glaring out at the parents and teachers laughing hysterically.

It was a long time before I got on stage again.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 10:44 AM

Steve, we coiulda used you out on the dance floor while Ainbe kicked that lil item off to the side, you could have danced in place to further distract everyone!!

Spaw, there goesa nother polyp-- SPLATTTTT!!!!!

bISKIT-- override@##@*%!!!-

I HAVE TO LEAVE THIS THREAD TO GO TO WORK, THERE IS NO JUSTICE!!! Can't wait to come back and see alla you redfaces!!! Go baby!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Bert
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 11:11 AM

I know I've told this story before but it was a long time ago so maybe you've forgotten it by now.

I was working in Bahrain and a couple of Bahraini mates in the office were trying to teach me Arabic.
One day just about going home time, Hussain says to me 'say - fetchek abd'. After a few tries I got the pronunciation somewhere close, but he wouldn't tell me what it meant and he went home. So I look around for someone to ask. The only guy around was Bilal, a black Bahraini whose ancestors were most likely Sudanese slaves.

Now this guy wasn't just 'black' - He was the guy they meant when they coined the phrase 'black is beautiful' - he was so black he shone with glossy green highlights, like a blackbird's wing.

So I say 'Hey Bilal, what does fetchek abd mean?'
Bilal just rolls on the floor laughing. It turns out that it means 'Go get Fucked by a black man'


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Mbo
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 11:15 AM

Sorry, nothing to report here! You people must have bad luck or something! Weird stuff like this DOESN'T happen to me!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Bert
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 11:21 AM

Yet Mbo, YET!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Homeless
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 11:43 AM

One evening I was at a good dance - the music was hot and everyone was energetic and the hall was crowded. At one point as I made a fast turn I swung my leg out in an arc behind me to keep my balance. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized how close the people behind me were and promptly swept the legs out from under the young lady dancing there, depositing her rudely on her tuckus.

Embarrassed enough at tripping someone (tho trip is hardly the word for it) thru my own carelessness, I tried to make amends by helping her up. And found out that if a woman is wearing a short rayon dress, you don't just take her by the waist and lift. As I lifted, the dress came up, but she didn't, thus giving everyone who was looking (which was most everybody in the hall - the commotion of the fall had attracted quite a bit of attention) a nice view of her lacy white undies. Somewhat red-faced, I apologized profusely and everyone returned to dancing.

Two weeks later, as if it had been a time bomb waiting to go off, I found out that this girl had had a crush on me. So I got a whole new wave of embarrassment to revel in that was two or three degrees worse than at the time of the incident.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 11:50 AM

Hmm, Bert, reminds me of when I lived in Cardiff and a Welsh-speaking roommate told me "Hello" in Welsh was "Twll dyn bob sais" (roughly!). Which I gather means "all English go forth and multiply" -only colloquially!
RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: GUEST,Les B
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 11:52 AM

A friend of mine, who is a great photographer but very shy, once had a job as a traveling school photographer. This required a high level of salesmanship, at which he was not the best. On one of his first days he made his pitch to a busy school principal and was promptly told "No thanks, don't slam the door on your way out." Flustered, he turned, opened the door and stepped out, only to find himself in a dark coat closet next to the exit door. He told me, "I was so embarrassed I must have stood in that closet for nearly a minute getting up the courage to step back into the office!"


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 12:02 PM

Just remember, today's horrid embarassment is tomorrow's funny anecdote! A few years ago my wife Heather and our friend Tony and I saw a familiar face in the distance while playing a Mariposa Folk festival gig. It was his ex-love, who he hadn't seen in 15 years. We walked over to where she and a friend were standing. Hellos were said and as I introduced her to Heather, I turned to her friend and said "Hi, I'm Rick, what's your name"? The woman glared at me and said "NANCY, WE LIVED TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS"!!

I almost fell down from embarrassment! In a million years she would never understand that the reason I didn't recognize her was that she had aged NOT ONE BIT in the 15 or so years since I'd last seen her. Totally different style and hair colour, but looked 25 not 40! She thought (and probably thinks to this day) that I was "snubbing" her. T'was definitely NOT the case!

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: JedMarum
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 12:23 PM

OK - a guy story:

My wife and I attended a dress up, outdoor function one fine summer Sunday in Dallas. Since she carried no purse so I got to carry in my suit coat pocket the spare tampon that may have been needed that afternoon. It wasn't. The next day I was in the boardroom of Southwest Airlines in that same suit. I was conducting meeting with several important business partners, our technical staff and our legal people - all whom were gracious enough to pretend they didn't see me attempt to retrieve what I thought was a pen from my suitcoat pocket. As you might have guessed my 'pen' turned out to be a tampon. I'll bet they still get a quiet chuckle out of my embarrassed response!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 12:28 PM

How about spending an hour looking for your own father in a bus station, then discovering you had been walking back and forth in front of him the whole time? (He was napping) In fact, I probably wouldn't have recognized him until he woke up except I finally spotted his army surplus boots. In the 3 months since I had seen him last he had grown a full beard.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: JedMarum
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 12:38 PM

I have another embarassing moment story, if I'm allowed two.

I worked for an English company for several years, and developed quite a liking for the English ales. One night, on a 'pub crawl' through Henley with a friend, we finished the evening at the Queens Head Pub; a lovely little low ceilinged place, with door jams just at my forehead height. I had reached the 'drinking bout' point of one pint/one pee ... and found that when I left for the loo the first time, I forgot to duck through the door and slammed my head against the door jam unceremoniously. I was the only American in the place, and the locals, all noticing my accident were kind enough to 'not notice' - but I must say, that I forgot on pee number two, and even on pee number three. By the third time I slammed my head on the door jam, the whole pub was in hysterics ... so I turned abruptly to the room, and said emphatically, "and that's the way we do it in America!"


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: JedMarum
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 12:40 PM

... hmm, I think I need to spend a lot of time with Áine and Patrish, so I can be there console them when next they have such embarassing moments.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 12:56 PM

MY first sexual experience but lets not go there.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: JedMarum
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 01:10 PM

don't tell me Guest ... you were alone right?


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM

I guess a recent embarrassing moment is when I visited a friend living abroad. It was just a stopover for about 4 days from my ultimate destination and this was a girl who was a good friend to me, and while there had been some attraction between us before she moved away any involvement was out of the question as we were both seeing other people. As I arrived we went straight to a folk concert where we met up with a girlfriend of hers. Now at the end of the concertwe're going out the door and just as I pulled my fleece out of my pack some items fell out of the pocket including a condom which Id forgotten about (a leftover from a previous date). Anyway they both saw it and said something like 'oh my god'. My friend quickly scooped it up and momentarily thought about handing it to me but decided it would embarrass me more so she just stuffed it in her pocket. I think they were probably more embarrased than I was, and I thought about saying 'well I wont be needing that' but it would just get worse. I still turn red thinking about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 01:34 PM

Hubby and I had been making picante sauce with jalepno peppers, and later got to fooling around.........and he put his finger ummm, well you get the idea. This wan't too bad, but later I found out he had told all his cop co-horts the whole story-----was a while before I could face any of them!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Micca
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 01:46 PM

Here is an embarrasing story and a definition of style in one story.
I was in what can only be described as a very compromising position wth my then gf on the sofa, in the living room, of her parents house at about 1 am, when the door opened , after a moment,feeling the draft on my bare arse, I glanced up to meet the eyes of her father standing in the doorway with the doorhandle in his han,.The thought going through my mind were the obvious "Oh,s**t." when he backed out and shut the door.,
the definition of cool?
he locked it, from outside, and shoved the key back in under the door!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Osmium
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM

Well maybe not embarrassment but being made to feel foolish. Sorcha's epic reminds me on a similar note. I was doing a one week job in Karachi and the guys I was staying with - mad English Ex-Pat Beer Swiiling Juvenile Delinquents - on one evening decided we'd do a Pakistani Takeaway. So we arrive in this dusty field (car park) with a lean to shack at one end (kitchen) and your waiter would arrive at the window, take the order, and later deliver. The recommendation was some sort of hot chicken curry and because all males will pretend that they can take it (hot food) I had one too. Now it was hot but I could eat it, and did, with a lot of sweat and no tears. The evening went on and finally the temperature in my mouth returned to normal around (late) bedtime. The next morning I was due in an important meeting that I could not attend because I was sat in a cold bath for two and a half hours trying to quench my personal Ring of Fire.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 01:59 PM

THE BEST!! ALL OF THEM!!! SCREEEEMMMM!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Mbo
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 02:29 PM

Ok, ok, s there's the Venus of Willendorf incident, but I'M NOT TELLING! SCREEEEECH!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 02:33 PM

c'mon, mbo. cough it up. inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: bob schwarer
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 02:36 PM

Sorcha, my wife and I also had a hot pepper experience many years ago. I still hear about it.

However my biggest goof probably was when I was a senior in college. Showed up for a final (in mechanics, I think) just as the test was ending; got the times confused somehow. But good old professor let me make it up. Right then in his office. Could have been a disaster. I passed it though.

Bob S.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: TerriM
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 02:46 PM

You have to now, Meebs, it's the law! I have so many I don't know where to begin but I guess the worst at the time was when I was about 14 ( that particularly self-concious age) and was given a wonderful silver swimsuit, absolutely the last word in chic, my dears! Quite understandably by my adolescent values of the time,I showed off big style culminating with a 'look at me' dive into the water and what I believed to be a graceful climb out of the pool,much puzzled to be greeted by gales of hysterical laughter.Looking down I discovered that every bit of silver had departed it's accustomed place leaving a completely transparent mesh in it's place and the sight of my skinny adolescent body in all it's lack of glory. I still go cold thinking about it!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: JedMarum
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:03 PM

great stories!

Sorcha - I also discovered (the hard way) that after enjoying a wonderful Crawfish boil , a man really ought to wash his hands before he pees ... rather then after, as is the norm.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

Yah Yah Yah!!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Mbo
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:38 PM

Well, there was this time, back in January, when it snowed here in Greenville, and freezing rain on top of it turned everything to ice. So I was coming up the ramp on at the Jenkins Fine Art Center--I use the ramp and not the steps because I have a pullcart, with scores of art paraphernalia lashed to it. So I get to the top of the ramp, and for some reason, the brilliant architect who pored the concrete poured it on an incline and the top, possible for drainage. Water actually collects there, and when temperature drops, water turns to....you guessed it. BOOM! I slipped and landed on my can right in front of all the weird art students who hang outside and smoke. I just gave them a "I meant to do that" look and fumbled my way through the doors. Suddenly my ears weren't so cold anymore!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:44 PM

Some years ago, I made a flying run out of the bus station in Boston, to grab a cab to take me to Cambridge. In a hell of a hurry, I spied a yellow car with a black driver. I should have realized that cabbies dont drive Volvos with sun roofs, but, I stuck my head into the sun roof and asked if she was free!! I cant describe the look I got as she informed me that she was not a cab. I'll bet she either traded cars, or she had that one painted.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 04:57 PM

This one ties with the funeral thread.....not mine, my mom's. Mom had been very ill and ready to go "home" for quite some time, actually since she lost my Dad 10 yrs. ago. You all know how funeral directors are? Trying hard not to offend the bereaved, unctious, etc.? OF COURSE they made sure the phones were turned off in the chapel before the service started.........NOW, what is the last thing your parents say when you walk out the door? "Call when you get there",eh? Well, the phone rang right druing the schmaltzy part of the service. Everybody nearly died laughing including the minister! What makes it even funnier is that 10 yrs ago my dad was cremated, and I had instructions to do several different things with the ashes, one of which was to take some back to Kansas and scatter them in a special spot. I never got it done, and I think dad was a little PO'd about it.
So here we are in Kansas with Mom, a casket and a gravesite....we took some ashes out to his special spot, and put the rest in a quart canning jar and put them under her skirt....
We really did put "Call When You Get There" on the gravestone!


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: The Shambles
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 05:44 PM

So many but this will do for a start

In those long far of day before the lady that is now my wife was not my wife, she was kind enough to make for me a bright red chunky-knit sweater. This was made at my request, as I was young and considered this to be the most trendy garment I could think of. Apart perhaps, from my once white but now tie-dyed, ex bandleaders dinner jacket.

I proudly wore this to a very crowded bar I used to frequent. As I sidled trough the closely packed merry-makers, the zipper on the back of a black slinky dress became caught up and tangled up with my red sweater. I did not notice this at first and as I continued on my way the zipper came most of the way down. Feeling a complete fool I struggled to untangle it and politely zip it back up again, all the while smiling apologetically over the girl's shoulder at her boyfriend He had not seen the start of my troubles but only noticed my attempts to zip up his girl-friends dress. She (bless her) smiled sweetly at me and carried on talking whilst I tried to repair the damage and get out of there as quickly as possible.

When I eventually and hurriedly emerged from there, the colour of my face matched the colour of my sweater.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Helen
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 05:46 PM

The first time I ever bought condoms, about 10 years ago, I went to the supermarket chek-out, and of course, the barcode wouldn't scan, so, of course, the checkout operator *has* to make a call over the loudspeaker

"Price check on condoms at check-out 5, Price check on condoms at check-out 5".

So here am I, trying to act cool, trying to act like buying condoms is the same thing as buying a carton of milk, and *everyone* in the store is looking at checkout 5 to find out who the floosy is.

I maintained the cool exterior until I got out of the store, but now I think it's pretty funny.

Helen


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: folk1234
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 05:54 PM

Sometimes, just for kicks, I introduce my wife (of 32 years) as, "And this is Carol my first wife". We get all sorts of amusing responses like, "Oh, it is good to see you're still friends", or, "Oh, are you back together now?"
Now for my embarrasing moment. Just about 20 years ago I went to a shopping mall in downtown Bridgeport, CT to pick up a suit I had ordered. Being new to the area I didn't know that after dark this mall became a heaven for all sorts of pretty bad people. I parked my car in the dark and dirty parking garage, took the elevator to the floor where the clothing store was, got my suit, and began to retrace my steps. As I got into the elevator and the door was slowly closing, a big, black, scared, hairy hand reached in to pull the door open as a huge, dirty, foul-smelling, person entered. I froze in place as we found ourselves alone in the interminable long ride to destiny, all the while thinking of what I should have done if only I had the courage. Suddenly, a sharp radio message something like, "Sandy Four-zero, this is Delta-Six" pierced silence of the elevator. As I stared in disbelief, the gentleman smiled at me with golden tooth as he reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "Yes, I'm a cop. You looked like you may need some help." He followed me to where I had parked and waved a friendly goodby as I drove off into the night. What made this so embarrasing, so humbling, is that I had just recently retired after 20 years as a Marine Infantry Officer. I still thought myself to be invincible and impregnable to fear. Little of me did I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: So Embarrassed...............!
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Mar 00 - 06:18 PM

folk1234, I'm long past judging people by how they look. I've asked for and been given directions by people of all sexes, races, quantities or styles of hair, quantities of leather, number of tattoos. They have normally told me to be careful who I talk to because there are some "bad types" around. I don't know - maybe I've been lucky...


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