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MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]

Rapparee 17 Mar 20 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 20 - 09:16 AM
Stilly River Sage 16 Mar 20 - 12:17 AM
Rapparee 15 Mar 20 - 05:22 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Mar 20 - 01:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Mar 20 - 12:37 PM
Donuel 15 Mar 20 - 11:47 AM
Donuel 15 Mar 20 - 10:59 AM
Donuel 15 Mar 20 - 10:51 AM
gnu 15 Mar 20 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 20 - 08:45 AM
Donuel 14 Mar 20 - 07:12 AM
Rapparee 13 Mar 20 - 10:41 PM
Donuel 13 Mar 20 - 05:21 PM
Donuel 12 Mar 20 - 06:18 AM
Rapparee 11 Mar 20 - 10:37 PM
Donuel 11 Mar 20 - 08:30 AM
Rapparee 10 Mar 20 - 11:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 10 Mar 20 - 03:50 PM
Donuel 10 Mar 20 - 03:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 20 - 03:31 PM
Donuel 10 Mar 20 - 02:36 PM
Stilly River Sage 10 Mar 20 - 10:45 AM
Donuel 10 Mar 20 - 07:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Mar 20 - 11:12 PM
Donuel 09 Mar 20 - 01:46 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 20 - 09:48 AM
Donuel 09 Mar 20 - 09:33 AM
Donuel 09 Mar 20 - 07:12 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 20 - 11:07 PM
Donuel 08 Mar 20 - 01:26 PM
Donuel 08 Mar 20 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 20 - 11:42 AM
Stilly River Sage 08 Mar 20 - 09:54 AM
Donuel 08 Mar 20 - 08:10 AM
Donuel 07 Mar 20 - 09:29 PM
Stilly River Sage 07 Mar 20 - 09:23 PM
Donuel 07 Mar 20 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 20 - 02:17 PM
Donuel 07 Mar 20 - 08:28 AM
Rapparee 07 Mar 20 - 07:58 AM
Donuel 06 Mar 20 - 05:04 PM
Donuel 06 Mar 20 - 01:30 PM
keberoxu 06 Mar 20 - 01:10 PM
Stilly River Sage 06 Mar 20 - 12:32 PM
keberoxu 06 Mar 20 - 12:21 PM
Stilly River Sage 06 Mar 20 - 11:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Mar 20 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 06 Mar 20 - 09:53 AM
Donuel 06 Mar 20 - 09:28 AM
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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 20 - 09:53 AM

I done writ a song!

If you go down to the store today you're in for a big surprise!
If you go down to the store today you'll never believe your eyes!
There'll be nothing there for you to buy,
No toilet paper or other supplies,
For today's the day the hoarders have a picnic!

See them grab the cleaning supplies
As they carry off soup and soap like it was free today!
(TBC)


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 20 - 09:16 AM

MOM's got the Corona! And the Budweiser! And the Molsons. And the Coors. And the Moose Drool. And the Polygamy Porter. And the Guinness. And the Smithwicks. And the Alaskan Amber. And the Labatts. And the Moosehead. And the Murphys. And the Pabst. And the Millers. But she does NOT have, nor will she touch even an empty container of, "light" or "lite" beers. She once said to me, "If I wanted to drink from the toilet I'd be a dog."


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Mar 20 - 12:17 AM

They're probably already in the DT.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 05:22 PM

I know that one. I also know the less-polite version of "Erie Canal" and "The Old Chisholm Trail" and several others. I ain't a-gonna post 'em, you'll have to larn 'em yerself.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 01:14 PM

All of those Italians on their balconies singing together are inspiring; too bad our neighborhood is too spread out for that to work, and who knows what songs these neighbors know? Probably country or churchy stuff. When we were kids we would play in the back yard and sing songs at the top of our lungs - usually the songs our parents told us weren't polite and we shouldn't sing in public.

𝅘𝅥 My sweetheart's a mule in the mine,
I drive her without any lines,
On the bumper I sit,
And tobacco I spit,
All over my sweetheart's behind. 𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 12:37 PM

Hi, Mom!

Has it ever occurred to you that "dry runs" is an oxymoron?


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Moth his floor fromer of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 11:47 AM

Deep in the foul fetid bowels of Langely an anlyst decided to self isolate at work. Water on the floor was from a restroom accident from an upper floor. Escaped Crickets had colonized the hallway from an abanddoned lab. Craig Kravitski dozed despite his eyes slowly opening and gazing at his computer screen showing virtually no reported cases of virus in Russia while the rest of the globe glowed red.

As it all became clear to Craig his eyes widened and he snapped wide awake. Perhaps Russia is not typically lying but they have an acquired immunity to Covid 19. What product would nearly all Russians consume with a vaccine added over time? VODKA was his first thought. While it might kill the virus, a vaccine would be preserved.

Craig uttered the obvious out loud "They finally weaponized the common cold". How could he prove it? He first looked into any Government interference in the production and export of Vodka.
There it was; all domestic vodka was ordered sent to tax facilities in Klimsk and Adropovd while exports went straight to port since March of 2019. Could there be level 4 vaccine production labs in the same vacinity, before he had the answer he was off like a shot toconfront his boss with this new analysis when he slipped on the wet floor and broke his neck.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 10:59 AM

I've heard millions would rather die than being locked in at home with their family


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 10:51 AM

Nearly 2'5 pounds of cheese! Cheese misidentification by TSA


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 20 - 09:48 AM

They took your CHEESE?! Bastards!


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 20 - 08:45 AM

Where is the hydrogen sulfide coming from? Volcanic vents? The White House? The odor of rotten eggs comes from DC and every legislature in the country -- and from some overseas. Carbon monoxide, on the other hand and something to which I am very sensitive, is odorless, tasteless, colorless, and pervasive. And, of course, we exhale carbon dioxide. But I forgo any more chemistry lessons for today.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Mar 20 - 07:12 AM

As whimsey turns to pathos worldwide and we each begin to live our 'On the Beach' scenarios in our dreams inside our hibernation pods, the dangers of of a build up of hydrogen sulffide gases is nothing to kid about.

From the balconies in the cities, live music and singing can be heard like birds broadcasting our indominable spirit. From the peacful country ranch to unseen forests where the silent tree falls, the world is taking a breather. From the sacred places to the profane, life is slowing down to challenge the RNA dangers.

If it takes a pandemic to overcome the age of idiocy, so be it; we will emerge a better species.

With respect to Rapaire, the earliest contributor standing, the last words shouuld belong to him.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 20 - 10:41 PM

Cheese caused flatulence. Flatulence is ill regarded on airplanes. Other passengers may act to stop it. You do not want them to do so.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Mar 20 - 05:21 PM

In reality the fares were doubled, crap. Trying to board was further complicated by some chedder I had wrapped in tin foil when it was detected as a C-4 bomb, so I missed the flight. Worst of all they kept my cheese.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Mar 20 - 06:18 AM

CHEAP FARES TO UK
wOO WHO - The only destination left for overseas flights is London.
While you guYs are in a TIME OUT my tour of a traffic free UK in spring sounds better than another Disney vacay .


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 20 - 10:37 PM

It's also nice for those with flatulence.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Mar 20 - 08:30 AM

Since the universe is expanding it helps make more room on Facebook and traffic on the roads.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 11:48 PM

Yeah, and some of the Hovelites are getting tired of people like Sex Mind Johnny and Creative Charley and Mom have those conversations by phone or in person. All that talk about velvet-lined handcuffs, "bouncy seats," some sort of balls, water sports, and other things make even the most hardened reprobate and reprobabe at the Hovel uncomfortable. The discussion of the uses of itching powder may have been the worst.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 03:50 PM

You'd better learn quickly how to set it so only friends see your stuff, so your friends aren't in view to outsiders, share photos only with friends, etc. (You have kids, right? They can show you.) There's a page called "Facebook Purity" that Facebook won't let anyone mention by name because it's full of tips to turn off Facebook ads and awful features. Look up "Fluffbusting Purity" instead and add it to your browser, then open it up and select the things you don't want to see. There's a lot to work with, it'll take several tries. I, for example, want to see posts in the order the arrive, not in the order Facebook wants to promote them. I detest all of their games and you'll give away your privacy if you take any of those awful quizzes.

Now aren't you glad you joined? I joined so long ago that only people on universities could join. And I was a member so long ago that when they started letting people use their own names I got mine for my account. Now people have to add funny spellings or numbers to come close to their own names. #EarlyAdopter. You'll find me at www dot facebook dot com /maggie.dwyer

Last week I talked my younger sister through how to use some of the video calls. Facebook's Messenger is a handy tool; I have the app installed on my phone (but I'm not letting it take over my SMS service!) and use it for video chats with my kids. No phone bills when my daughter spent a year in Japan, just Messenger chats. Now MOM, she gets a little adventurous about who she chats with, especially the ones she heard about through friends at the Legion Hovel. I've had to turn off the WiFi in the house a few times to get them to knock off the loud conversations in the middle of the night.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 03:35 PM

Its not the quantity of drugs that destroys neurons, its alcohol.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 03:31 PM

Hi, Mom!

I finally broke down and joined Facebook. As a result, I have become Facebook friends with several of my old hippie friends. I had not had any contact with them for almost forty years and I'm totally gobsmacked by how conservative most of them have become.

It's like, "Last time I saw you, we were doin' drugs and bitchin' about Ronald Reagan gettin' elected president. And now you're posting photos of the "Re-Elect Donald Trump" signs in your yard? Did you take too many drugs or not enough?"


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 02:36 PM

I'm done with optimism.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 10:45 AM

I'll be the first to tell you that when you need them, take them. Three weeks out and I'm slowly weaning - still. I went back to a full day of tramodol as a baseline for generally feeling okay, and now I'm spacing out the doses.

Hey, MOM decided it was time to put some money in her IRA since it had lost 10% of it's value in the last few days. The shares cost less now and will show up as more once this wretched virus passes.

MOM also wonders about all of those people who can't "call it in" from home for their work. She has a sanitation station down at the curb with soap, running water, paper towels, and Vodka for anyone passing by who needs to clean up. She's not sure why the Vodka is such a big deal, and decided not to mix it into the soap, just let people decant it into little dinky mouthwash-sized cups. There has been a line forming out there all morning.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 20 - 07:07 AM

Under the BS impression that an out patient procedure with a local injection or two would be a breeze so I opted for no opiods.
SON OF A BITCH

I was knocked out carved up and left for the buzzards. I deserve to not complain but if I had any druthers-I would definATy have taken the Oids. The 'lucky' few had morphine in the Civil War, and I mean few.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 20 - 11:12 PM

That's our Bee-Dub: stealthy as they come. Under, over, around, and through the radar.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Mar 20 - 01:46 PM

Very stealthy.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 20 - 09:48 AM

Not a cruise ship, a cruiser. Bee-Dub ain't one to let a li'l ol' virus git him! Nosir! Not him!


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Mar 20 - 09:33 AM

Is it true that Bee-dubya-ell has been trying to get to his private Hawiian Island only to discover someone stole his private Cessna Citation X? Did he really take a cruise ship instead?


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Mar 20 - 07:12 AM

Thats different. Picks have been used for more tunnels, brain surgury and grave digging than any other device.

The smart money however is going to use cheap oil for quick mass cremations instead of diggng graves. Picks and shovels are buggy whip technology afterall.

I'm glad they decided to not torpedo cruise ships off our shores.
Instead keeping them circling until they go silent is more humane and may greeenlight the Gilligan's cruise ship reality show series.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 20 - 11:07 PM

I'm talking about PICKS, not some wimpy little plastic thing! Not tooth, not dental, not top-40, but PICKS!!


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Mar 20 - 01:26 PM

Come to think of it I bet charisma can be bought, acquired, learned, practiced and groomed.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Mar 20 - 12:22 PM

Neil is a good frontman, moneyman, historical constructionist and cruise activity captain that gets things done. Meanwhile the far thinking real captain is in the bridge with navigators. As far as Astrophysicists go, it is good to have a Carl Sagan type on hand.
Charisma can't be bought. In that realm, Neil beats Carl.

My favorite is gone already, Richard Feynman who taught at Cornel with Carl.

Picks can be bought

I use picks so rarely since I have a natural little finger nail I use as a pick. My bain are socks that are supposed to match.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 20 - 11:42 AM

Picks. No one knows where they go, except that they disappear when you need them. One theory is that they are self-contained and self-creating mini-micro black holes which are sometimes tangible. Then, when most needed, they "eat themselves" (to use the Blackholers' technical term) and vanish. They may or may not reappear later when their loss is most lamented and likely to cause to most anguish and cursing. The total, world-wide, extinction and disappearance of lute picks is a mystery to luters and which scientists have been unable to solve.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Mar 20 - 09:54 AM

This guy is a force of science (Neil deGrasse Tyson) and he talks about that dark matter in this engaging and informative interview with Stephen Colbert (who is no slouch himself).


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Mar 20 - 08:10 AM

I thought so. SRS is one of those forces of nature beings.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Mar 20 - 09:29 PM

So now we have have a handle on the great mystery of dark matter, and clues as to why the universe is accelerating with more black holes in turn generating space from matter and time in greater amounts by distributing space by way of Eienstien-Rosen bridges. (dubious)

So what is the next great mystery to solve by ancient mudcat theorists? Please don't say strings, they are soo fussy & finicky and lways need retuning..


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Mar 20 - 09:23 PM

I wore myself out walking around the grocery store today for a half-hour on level ground, though I wore out my original knee climbing many hours and many days and years with many pounds in a backpack on real mountains in the Pacific NW.

There's a sweet little puppy asleep in the dog bed beside my desk in my office. One of the three is always asleep in it when I'm in here. None of us are climbing anything for a while, though she'd like to climb up in my lap and have her tummy rubbed.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Mar 20 - 03:20 PM

Ha ha the 1,000 ft mountains in Illinois are named after famous mounds. The red dirt of Illinois is not even great for corn. Iron rich but calcium poor makes it bad for crops, dogs and baby teeth.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 20 - 02:17 PM

I had the chance to take his purse, but he kept hitting me with it. Then the Secret Service got involved and stole away my rapier and filled my charges up with water and a prisoner I was taken, but I escaped and found my brother (the one that was in the Army) and we went robbing on the far-famed Illinois mountains.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Mar 20 - 08:28 AM

Oh chivilarous cavalier, thou are more honourable than King Donald.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 20 - 07:58 AM

I shall never rob keberoxu on the King's Highway!


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 05:04 PM

Rocking Rapturous RaP SEX? I'll pass


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 01:30 PM

Standing, sitting, walking, driving, laying down all great.
But transitionng from any of these states to another feels like a special slo mo nazi torture. Its time to take my first shower since incision time 2020.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 01:10 PM

Well, Imperious Rex is MY emperor,
and you can kick me off MOAB for saying so. So there.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 12:32 PM

He's not emperor over here! There's a time/space split between MOAB and Emperor.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 12:21 PM

You rock, o Rapturous Imperious Rex Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 11:36 AM

Learning to walk upright, not swaying, extending the leg completely each time. I was able to walk in any ol' dopey way before, now I need to watch my posture, change weight from one side to the other, and unlearn bad habits from when the knee was full of bone spurs.

It seems the best way to see if I'm ready to drive is to take a short run. We discussed a drive to city hall, six blocks from here. The challenge is to see if anyone wants to be in the passenger seat with me. MOM will do it, but she doesn't drive, so if we had to stop and change places we'd end up walking back to the house instead. The road follows the creek, and its a good thing there aren't any gators in it.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 10:06 AM

I am not Dark Matter. I am Waste Matter. Or maybe Doesn't Matter.


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 09:53 AM

I'm like -infinity K° cool, man!!!!


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Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 09:28 AM

Like minus 260 Kelvin cool daddyooh


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