mudcat.org: BS: Rap for emperor
Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeawe

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]


BS: Rap for emperor

olddude 24 Feb 16 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 16 - 12:54 AM
Severn 25 Feb 16 - 01:08 PM
Severn 25 Feb 16 - 01:18 PM
gnu 25 Feb 16 - 02:28 PM
Severn 25 Feb 16 - 03:07 PM
gnu 25 Feb 16 - 03:16 PM
Severn 25 Feb 16 - 04:04 PM
olddude 25 Feb 16 - 04:07 PM
olddude 25 Feb 16 - 04:08 PM
Severn 25 Feb 16 - 04:11 PM
JennieG 25 Feb 16 - 06:01 PM
GUEST,Severn 25 Feb 16 - 08:06 PM
keberoxu 25 Feb 16 - 08:15 PM
JennieG 25 Feb 16 - 08:25 PM
GUEST,Severn 25 Feb 16 - 09:00 PM
olddude 26 Feb 16 - 12:03 PM
olddude 26 Feb 16 - 12:51 PM
gnu 26 Feb 16 - 03:41 PM
olddude 26 Feb 16 - 04:04 PM
GUEST,The Donald 26 Feb 16 - 08:43 PM
olddude 27 Feb 16 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 16 - 02:09 AM
JennieG 28 Feb 16 - 03:50 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 16 - 01:53 PM
gnu 28 Feb 16 - 05:41 PM
GUEST,Severn 29 Feb 16 - 04:03 PM
gnu 29 Feb 16 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 16 - 12:14 PM
GUEST,Severn (two bits worth of mastery) 01 Mar 16 - 02:19 PM
gnu 01 Mar 16 - 05:16 PM
olddude 01 Mar 16 - 08:25 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 12:33 AM
frogprince 02 Mar 16 - 10:47 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 01:25 PM
GUEST,Quotamaster Severn 02 Mar 16 - 02:50 PM
Donuel 02 Mar 16 - 06:51 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 16 - 11:46 AM
GUEST,Severn (Supreme Justice of the Court Of Mast 03 Mar 16 - 02:41 PM
frogprince 03 Mar 16 - 02:49 PM
keberoxu 03 Mar 16 - 02:57 PM
JennieG 03 Mar 16 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 05 Mar 16 - 01:35 AM
gillymor 05 Mar 16 - 03:55 AM
JennieG 05 Mar 16 - 06:39 AM
Rapparee 05 Mar 16 - 11:24 AM
GUEST,Severn 05 Mar 16 - 02:51 PM
JennieG 05 Mar 16 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 16 - 02:23 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 24 Feb 16 - 12:02 PM

Lol you need to write a book, so I can club you with it Lol priceless. Can't stop laughing


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 12:54 AM

We will shortly proclaim more proclamations during this, Our imperial visit to the Kingom of Hawai'i to accept their submission and pledges of fealty to Us.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rump for apperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 01:08 PM

Maybe I need to write a book so that everybody can tell me how much better it was than the movie, and a book club choice, besides. However, I'd need money to finance either of those things. Can I get a grant from The Rappire's Council for the Arts. I was denied by the New England Council for the Auts, as I wasn't autistic enough, and they wouldn't put it on paper......(Sigh!). I guarantee that the readers will be turning pages over even faster than our Congressfolk.....

Your Royal Hyenas, please remember the probre native behavior when sailing in Hawai'i. When you're sailing away into the sunset, you turn back to the shore and cry out "ALOHA!". When you are sailing into the SUNRISE, you point your finger at the sun and cry out "DAWN, HO!"

Good luck on their submission, should they choose to accept it. They may just take you for one of those impossible missionaries......

Should we refer to our Affairs of State (along with our state of affairs) just as "Govern" until we detect proof of anything "Mental"?......


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Reap for Grimperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 01:18 PM

"Proper Native Behavior", that is. Sorry! I type like a Ha-wino on the Dole. I'll start taking my pineapple juice straight from now on.....

Oh, and, virtuoso uke-arist that you are, don't go playing "Lava Come Back To Me" while standing on Mona Loa.....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 02:28 PM

I would like to nominate as The Official Flower of The Empire the Chrisaanthamum... Crysanthemom... Chrys... Dandelion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rope for the emperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 03:07 PM

Dan DeLion. Staglee shot his brother, didn't he?

I nominate The Venus Flytrap.

The Hooded Merganser as the official bird.

The Sea Lion as the official Great Seal of The Republic.

And we need a flag design......


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 03:16 PM

"The Hooded Merganser as the official bird."??? Fuck a duck! Nay, nay, nay!

The Ruby Throated Hummingbird is the King of all birds. Why, an Hbird could kick the living shit out of any number of ducks, Daffy or not. The Hbird is exactly what the Empire needs to strike back against the oppression of large, foul tasting fowl. Duck? Yuck! I say The Ruby RULES! Who's with me? If you are not with me... DUCK! Them little buggers got sharp beaks!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:04 PM

I love hummers, but the Hooded Merganser looks like a duck designed by a committee, which seems appropriate for the present regime.....

For a Ruby Throat to be truly King, he must have documented proof that he had perched on the back of the Wren who had perched on the back of the Eagle in that contest for the crown so long ago in Ireland....

Besides, I don't think that Rap wants any other legitimate monarchs around to pose any sort of threat to his seat of power. Not only could a Ruby Throat kick the ass of a fucked-up duck, I'd be tempted to give it good odds head-to-head against our Exalted Emperor....

Eh, gnu, brew? Tay?.....It's my round.....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:07 PM

We lease the hounds, attack I say


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:08 PM

Lol


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rip for Armperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:11 PM

(With apologies to Tom Lewis)

Oh, Mother F*ck, bring me a duck
With beaks as sharp as razors
For him who dotes on Ruby Throats
And other such e-mailers....."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 06:01 PM

Your Gracious Goodness, will you be needing Our Imperial Torturer's presence on your visit to the Pacific Kingdom? I have in my possession three (3) ukuleles, a soprano, a tenor and a baritone (no castrato uke, and as yet, alas, no bass uke) so should you need something other than the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble (or EBE for short) to serenade you and Her Imperial Highness Patricia whilst boarding, sailing or embarking on your journeys I'm sure we could round up a few ukeists for the job.

Also, I have been meaning to ask......now that Your Empire is gaining a floral emblem, a state bird and a great seal, what about uniforms for your subjects? Do you have any ideas on this?

I personally myself am quite fond of lime green, and as Our Imperial Torturer feel sure that a chartreuse uniform would strike terror into the hearts of all who beheld it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Zap for hemperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 08:06 PM

Lime Lame, like the Young Elvis on St. Party's Night?

I don't think all your subjects need uniforms. We're not in Catholic School or anything. The Armed Services, however, could use some. I'm not sure what lime green and chartreuse camo would blend in with. Jennie sounds like one who would prefer Camel flogging to camoflauging, one who doesn't prefer to hide her charms....

However, all you Fashists, or whatever you call the fashion conscious (That would leave me out, as anyone who knows me would be the first to tell you), should submit your ideas on all this stuff. Flowers uniforms birds etc.

Speaking of birds, though, and getting back to gnu's contention that the Ruby Throated Hummingbird rules the avian kingdom rather than the Wren, try to imagine going out on St. Stephen's Day with your little box singing:

"A hummer, a hummer, is dead. What a bummer!
But we'll accept money from any comer
Although you're a lover of watching them hover....."

Awwww,enough already! You get the idea. It's just not the same. Maybe the Ruby Throat Boys should just hum tunes as they go door to door collecting money and assume people know what they're humming about, but I doubt it would prove effective.

Wrens are hard enough to catch, but you can at least stick a cork in the tiny entrance hole of one of the wooden houses folks put out in the yard for them and suffocate them. Try catching the wily hummer or even locate their nest. You could mix liquid arsenic with the contents of the hummingbird feeder in your yard and watch them suddenly plummit to the ground, I suppose....

Whaddaya think?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 08:15 PM

Was that lease the hounds, or loose the hounds ??

Oh goodness. I nearly typed, just now, Rugby Throated Hummingbirds. What ails my fingers!

Anyhow, the hummingbirds. It all depends on what you make of Las Vegas showgirls, because that's what the ruby throaters remind me of, sequins and all. Not for me to say whether or not the Emperor goes for showgirls in sequins.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 08:25 PM

Oh no, no, no, Severn......I wasn't thinking of a uniform uniform for all His Imperialness's subjects, just those specifically in his service, i.e. the Imperial Bodyguard, the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble (or EBE), etc.

And perhaps for your good self, as Poet Parakeet? I can understand your wish to stand out from His Imperial Whatever's other subjects by your wit, so perhaps something amazing by way of headgear......something like this perhaps?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Ramp for enterer
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 09:00 PM

I'll just be a plain poet without a pair o' Keats or a single Shelley. And we never had a family crest that wasn't in a tube.....

Rap hasn't the Vegas notion, but like Liberace, he's an orderly sort who likes everything in its proper sequins......


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 12:03 PM

It's imperial potentate of purrwasion oh cousin of Kenny g


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 12:51 PM

No we lease the hounds, from michael Vick


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 03:41 PM

Oh, Dan. That's baaaad! >;-)

I nominate me for Chief Game Warden of the Empire on accounta I am game for it. Plus, I know how to poach... ahhh... I know the tricks of the trade so I can outsmart any war... ahhh... poacher. If appointed, my first act will be to hire Troy Landry to be Assistant to The Chief Game Warden, Moat Security. Troy will be more than able to ensure the gators in the moat do not cause any problems at The Emperor's Castle but we'll have to move fast on hiring Troy as his present employment is ending soon and I am sure he will sought by companies in the moat business.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 04:04 PM

Ok I will ask the great potentate, or was it great potatoes.. I get so cornfused


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,The Donald
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 08:43 PM

That deal where we mixed Iridium 92 with gold was really great. Profits were 100%.

Also the Platinum like by products from old reactors has been better than a gold mine. Especially with our sales to dentists to use as filings.

We have some radioactive diamond deals that are greatest of all.

Call me when you want to deal' thanks Rap baby.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 16 - 01:14 PM

Chernobl blades work best


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 02:09 AM

Your Emperor appreciates your interest in the Empire. Therefore We do proclaim and post the following Imperial Announcements:

Firstly, that gnu is appointed Imperial Head Game Warden with all of the rights and privileges appertaining thereunto. More, he can keep all entrails, blood trails, and hoppy-happy rabbit trails for his own use.

Secondly, there shall be an Imperial Uniform for all those not part Our Imperial staff, to whit, and this shall be worn by all men and women until they can afford to purchase better from

Thirdly, Our Imperial Uniform Maker, Severn, who shall charge whatever the traffic will bear, keeping always in mind Our cut of the take and the Imperial Torturer.

Fourthly, Our Imperial staff shall dress as they desire as it befits their station, save that those who chose not to so dress shall wear
this if a woman and this if a man. Thus We instill good fashion sense in Our Imperial staff.

Fifthly, We do appoint olddude as Our Imperial Public Relations Klaxon and do allow him 10% of all that he doth so relate.

Give this 27th day of February in the First Year of Our Reign,

Emperor Rapparee   (r) His Mark in another but valid style


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 03:50 AM

Sounds good to me, Your Imperial Graciousness!

And what about Your Good Self and Her Regal Highness The Most Mighty Princess Patricia? Any thoughts on regalia?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 01:53 PM

We may wear whatever We wish to regal ya.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 16 - 05:41 PM

Thank you, your Majesty. I have entered into talks with Troy but I doubt we can compete with Cabelas and Bass Pro Shops. The next order of business shall be the repeal of the times of legal hunting being designated as time of day. We shall return to the definition of hunting at night as being "Illegal to hunt with the aid of a light." I am confident this change will not increase the number of animals shot in the extremities of the front legs*.

* If you don't understand that, look up on a sunny day without a wide-brimmed hat or peaked cap.

Your esteemed Emperor and guest are invited to dine up country at the camp anytime. BYOB and reservations are required. Hey... it ain't a hotel, eh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Wraps for the empire!
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 29 Feb 16 - 04:03 PM

Congratulations, gnu, and happy entrails you! A little scrapple do ya!

We have reservations even trepidations, but will show up anyway. I'm sure he'd be fronting a gnudist colony, if it were warmer......

How did I get to be uniform maker? I DID design the Emperor's New Clothes, and I tend to keep olddude in stitches, but as far as formal stitchery, SEW WHAT? I can recommend some good tailors-James, Koko, Livingston, Billy, Cecil, Eric. I own recordings by all, as I tend to like their choices in material. I will properly clothed-minded and try to do the best I can and overcharge like a wounded rhino (or was that a ruinded wino?), as is His Royalness' wish and give him a Royality Check off the top, as stipulated......


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 29 Feb 16 - 05:19 PM

As I now carry weight (piss off) with his Royal, I declare, if he approves, the Smelt as the Official Fish of the Empire. Yes, The Atlantic Salmon is the King of Fish but it's all catch and release here now because the forestry industry has decimated the spawning grounds by silting up the very birthplaces of same.... SO VERY sad. So I say SMELT it!

As for the Official tree, I am torn. Of course I want the Maple. But the Silver Birch is near and dear to my heart. Why, that is where Bonasa Umbellus thrives. I suggested the Ruby Throated Hummingbird for the Official Bird but others wanted some lame fuckin duck over the nastiest most tenacious little motherfu...

So, I wish to nominate the bird that is nearest to my heart and stomach. Bonasa Umbellus. Now, I have, on previous threads, recounted that I USED to be a hunter and that I took over 2000 of these into my pots and frying pans. I do not hunt anymore... but if any of you get some and want to donate them to my stove... come ahead!

Now, the name is misleading. Bonasa = good when roasted. Yes... in January when you are arse deep in snow and hungry and you can make a fire way back in the woods. Other than that, fried in a pan with a rum toddy ta wash em down, well, there it is.

So BONASA UMBELLUS for the Emporer's Bird.

Hmmm... that didn't sound right.

Anyway... fuck a duck!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 12:14 PM

We agree with Our Imperial Game Warden's choice hereby name the Gnuis Umbilicus, known commonly as "gnu's bellybutton" as Our Realm's Official Bird, second only to the middle phalanges of Our Imperial hands. Jennie G., IT, may do as she will with those who malign or maltreat a gnu's bellybutton.

We create Severn as Royal Quartermaster and Uniform Maker as he is uniform in certain quarters which he has mastered and is, We find, cut from whole cloth without being warped or be weft of either honor or honour.


Give on this, the first day of March in the first year of Our Reign,

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r) His alternate mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rump for importer
From: GUEST,Severn (two bits worth of mastery)
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 02:19 PM

Very few people know that gnu will regularly lie outside on his back, pouring sugar water into his rather deep navel and use it for a hummingbird feeder, keeping his "innie" free from all lint and contaminents, so in a way, he has sneakily at least partially won the bird argument. He got the idea watching cable TV and seeing a specialized friendly bird cleaning the teeth of the very reptile that stuffed his croc pot by dining on The Crocidile Hunter. (Showing you CAN pick your friend's teeth).

Thank you for making me quartermaster. If anybody has an issue with that, I shall show them who's master and give them no quarter! Aaaaaarrrrgh! To the rest of you, I assure you that I'll end up giving you proper fits. However, if I should die, I would want the as yet undesigned flags flown at Half-Master......

If anyone should harm gnu'd belly button, our Admiral Of The Fleet assured me that he'd send out a naval destroyer to take care of the matter. Any harm to his backside will be handled by the Rear Admiral....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 05:16 PM

And what of the Official Bug? (So much to do creating symbols of The Empire!)

I nominate, ahhh, gee.. the Dragon Fly eats skeeters, Ladybugs eat aphids, cock roaches... LADYBUGS!

Long story but George next door got the apartment complex manager of the apartment complex which abuts out properties to the rear to mow down all the foliage under our pine trees. I say "our" because I planted them 45 years ago under the supervision on my then neighbour (I now own his former abode). He didn't like the "look of it". He didn't even have to look at it unless he looked over his fence. He said it was full of skeeters. It was full of dragon flies that eat skeeters. And, it was FULL of Ladybugs! If you can pick the leaves of plants that have Ladybug eggs attached and then shove them in hanging pots, you got NO aphids all summer long.

I request that the Ladybug be the official bug of the empire and that George be sent to the bowels of the dungeon torture chamber. Treat him with compassion JG but teach him a lesson.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 08:25 PM

Naw I like the deer tick, good old ball scratchin . Lyme disease gettin . Tick... Keeps the population on their toes


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 12:33 AM

Subjects! Cease your petty squabbles! We name Nicrophorus obscurus as the Imperial Insect of our Empire!

And We herewith name frogprince as Minister of De Fence, which We find is badly in need of painting.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r) His alternate mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 10:47 AM

Thanks so much, your Royal Somewhat-Highness. If anyone will give me the good stuff from their lunch, I'll be happy to allow him. her, or whatever, a turn with the brush!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 01:25 PM

You may have the core of Our apple as a gesture of Our magnanimity. We, of course, cannot do manual labor or labour, and so Our Imperial Torturer will select a few select souls for such servitude.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Ripe for the empiring
From: GUEST,Quotamaster Severn
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 02:50 PM

But the Lyme helps prevent scurvy, knaves. They take a lickin', but keep on tickin'. And, they are washed in the blood.....

Dragonflies are great, but I like the Ladybird Beetle, 'cause it takes more than bullshit to make my new roses grow. But Lyme Green for the Royal Bughouse uniforms, definitely....

The roaches will be here long after us humans destroy each other, so they can appoint their own after we're gone.....

Frogprince in charge of De Fence? I just Sawyer fence post. It's enough to make the average White picket and maybe threaten to charge. It might not be able to keep out those pesky Mexicans that Trump worries about But I'm sure the Green Collard workers will get behind it and help out with the general whitewash, both gilding and padding the Frogprince's lily, so let's go ahead and go Green. In fact, Lyme Green uniforms for HIS workers, too. Goodbye, old paint!....

Thanks for the apple remnants. They're good for esprit and enhance the décor. Speaking of esprit, I might go out on one this weekend. Anyone want to join me?.....

FP, since you're in charge of De Fence, after you're through fencing with Rap in epee-ing position, could you help me get rid of some hot jewelry and some hubcaps?.....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 06:51 PM

# wreath #




   all fame is fleeting







besides the role of an emperor is nothing more than a data compressed algorithm.

What we actually need is a new universe which is challenging, to say the least.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 07:10 PM

We are Emperor over all Universes, in every dimension, within and without all Time. You forget that at your peril

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 11:46 AM

We may have a Special Announcement later.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex    (r)   His alternate mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Ramp for offererer
From: GUEST,Severn (Supreme Justice of the Court Of Mast
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 02:41 PM

Put that sourness back where the wreath of grapes is stored for now, at least. He may not last any longer than Frosty The Snowman or Pope Paul VI, but then he might have his reigning hands on the reins for quite some time. The Grand Mudcat Sorcerer Joe Offer might put a spell on him that no Imperial Spellcheck could defeat and make all of us vanish into thin air, leaving Rap contemplating becoming Emperor of Facebook, instead. Hopefully, we can get this built up to maximum strength before anyone can try to tear it down......

We might consider doing what a lot of emerging nations do. First build or refurbish a palace. Second, form an army and third, create a national airline. All this before we take a look at the people out there. What'll we call Air Rap?.....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 02:49 PM

Insudentully, why are Emperors Imperial instead of Emporial ?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 02:57 PM

Carrion beetle?

Carry-on beetle?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 05:32 PM

Your Great Imperialness, I am working on that list of miscreants as we speak......do you have any names that you yourself would particularly like to add? Anyone who may have slighted the Imperial Might, for instance? Any scurvy knaves who may have impugned Her Great Imperial Goodness The Most High and Mighty Regal Princess Patricia? Anyone whose cooking you didn't like?

Now's your chance!

Also by way of a footnote, Oh Great Sire, I've been wondering about a National Anthem because I would like to make sure that each and every person who passes through my hands, so to speak, is word perfect. Any suggestions?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 01:35 AM

You have failed Us and left Our Empire fall from the page. In the future please remember the presence of Jennie G., IT.

This time We forgive you, although you have made Us forget the Special Message We had to impart.

As for an Imperial Anthem, We suggest these slightly edited lyrics as they are so correct about Us:

Your Emperor should be someone invincible
Succeed where a less fantastic one would fail
Climb a wall no one else can climb
Cleave a dragon in record time
Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail!
No matter the pain he ought to be unwinceable
Impossible deeds should be their daily fare
But where in the world
Is there in the world
Someone so extraordinaire?

It's you! It's you!
I'm forced to admit
'Tis you, I humbly reply
That mortal who
These marvels can do
It's you! It's you! Says I!

You've never lost
In battle or game
You're simply the best by far
When swords are cross'd
'Tis always the same
One blow and au revoir
It's you! It's you!
So admir'bly fit
A Modern Prometheus unbound
And here youy stand with valor untold
Exception'lly brave, amazingly bold
To serve as Emperor all 'round.

The soul of an Emperor should be a thing remarkable
With a heart and mind as pure as morning dew
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
He could easily work a miracle or two
To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable
The ways of the flesh should offer small allure
But where in the world
Is there in the world
Someone so untouch'd and pure?

It's you?

It's you! It's you!
I blush to disclose, I'm far too noble to lie
That person in whom these qualities bloom
It's you! It's you! Says I!

You've never stray'd from all I believe
You're bless'd with an iron will
Had you been made the partner of Eve
We'd be in Eden still!
It's you! It's you!
The angels have chose to fight their battles below
And here you stand as pure as a pray'r
Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare
The godliest man we know
It's you!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 03:55 AM

A.J. Lerner is spinning in his grave.

Here's a dandy little page refresher.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 06:39 AM

Oh my......Your Most Imperial Goodness Graciousness......words fail me!

I shall, of course, do my utmost to instill those words into each and every oh-so-lucky miscreant who has the amazing good fortune to fall into my hands. It will, of course, be accompanied by a band of assorted banjos because nothing else could possibly do justice to such magnificent sentiments.

I am also thinking of kazoo accompaniment to drown out any screams which may escape the lips of said tortured souls.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 11:24 AM

The lunette is too low for the bascule, the mouton appears too light, and the uprights are too short for efficient and humane use.

We say these things because We know these things and wish to educate Our people. Should you desire more information on this subject We are certain that Jennie G. IT will educate you.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rasp for enterer
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 02:51 PM

Do you need a Lerner's Permit to use and adapt those lyrics?.....

You might try doing a rewrite of "What Do The Simple Folkies DO".....

JFK always wanted a Camel Lot. He'd be glad we parked soldiers in Iraq. Are you thinking of involving us overseas, O Imperious Rex?.....

JennieG, while Broadway tunes are being looted, you might want to check out "Was I Wazir" from "Kismet"......


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 07:12 PM

I'm sure I speak for the whole nation of The Great Land of Oz when I say that, should Their Most Regal Magnificences desire an OS trip, they would always be welcome here.

We have sun-kissed beaches, breathtaking mountains (if you climb one it will take quite a while to get your breath back), strange creatures which will kill you, interesting birds and cuddly animals.

The Great Land of Oz is the best country in the world because we have wombats, and as such it may appeal to Your Regalities.

By the way, and despite rumours to the contrary, a wombat is a short legged furred mammal capable of achieving great speeds and baby wombats are the most adorable critters in the whole world. "Wombat" does not mean "waste of money, brains and time".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 02:23 PM

We encourage speculation as it keeps Our Imperial Torturer productive and busy.

Oz is far away, but We would like to make an Imperial visit someday. Perhaps Our subjects there could move it closer to Our Realm to facilitate Our visit.

Dear Quarter Master, We do not need a Lerner's permit. How could you sink so Lowe as to think We do? If you cannot put "Rogers" on that, please have a Hart and don't hammer a stein.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex   (r)   His alternate mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 17 July 11:54 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.