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BS: Rap for emperor

gnu 05 Aug 16 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 05 Aug 16 - 08:29 PM
keberoxu 05 Aug 16 - 05:46 PM
Donuel 05 Aug 16 - 05:33 PM
gnu 22 Jul 16 - 06:19 PM
keberoxu 22 Jul 16 - 05:36 PM
JennieG 22 Jul 16 - 07:39 AM
keberoxu 21 Jul 16 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 21 Jul 16 - 10:25 AM
gnu 21 Jul 16 - 08:28 AM
Rapparee 20 Jul 16 - 09:21 PM
keberoxu 20 Jul 16 - 04:21 PM
keberoxu 26 Jun 16 - 05:15 PM
Severn 26 Jun 16 - 04:10 PM
keberoxu 25 Jun 16 - 02:47 PM
gnu 25 Jun 16 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 24 Jun 16 - 11:15 PM
keberoxu 24 Jun 16 - 05:12 PM
Severn 24 Jun 16 - 02:32 PM
keberoxu 23 Jun 16 - 08:00 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 16 - 11:16 PM
gnu 18 Jun 16 - 06:53 PM
keberoxu 18 Jun 16 - 06:49 PM
gnu 30 May 16 - 07:04 PM
keberoxu 30 May 16 - 04:24 PM
Ed T 04 Apr 16 - 12:07 AM
Ed T 03 Apr 16 - 11:57 PM
Ed T 03 Apr 16 - 11:56 PM
Rapparee 03 Apr 16 - 08:59 PM
gnu 03 Apr 16 - 12:46 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 16 - 04:54 AM
Rapparee 29 Mar 16 - 09:39 PM
keberoxu 29 Mar 16 - 05:24 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 16 - 09:27 PM
gnu 26 Mar 16 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 16 - 09:05 PM
GUEST,Ed T 26 Mar 16 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 16 - 10:34 PM
gnu 25 Mar 16 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 16 - 12:04 PM
GUEST,Ed T 25 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM
GUEST,Ed T 24 Mar 16 - 11:08 PM
GUEST,Ed T 24 Mar 16 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 24 Mar 16 - 09:19 PM
gnu 24 Mar 16 - 07:29 PM
GUEST,Ed T 24 Mar 16 - 07:07 AM
GUEST,Ed T 23 Mar 16 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 16 - 09:56 PM
GUEST,Ed T 23 Mar 16 - 09:16 PM
GUEST,Ed T 23 Mar 16 - 09:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 16 - 09:51 PM

"We are quite aware of his deficiencies in education and would never presume that he is literate beyond the modicum needful for daily life."

Well fuck you too, you big Emp.

g, M.Sc.Eng., B.Sc.Eng, P.Eng., (my mark up your ass... plus, I can outgun you and all your fancy fuckin ordnance in the bush with a $300 o/u 12 ga Baikal any fuckin day of the week because I am the most badass Imperial Game Warden there ever was. Put a hole in the hole, me.)

The Emperor has no ammo.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 16 - 08:29 PM

We have been unusually busy with the business of Our Empire and We have not had time to dictate Our decrees. In the interests of Our Realm We shall not do that now, as We enjoy and know Our subjects enjoy surprises.

We have no need of an "economic team" as everything in Our Realm belongs to Us. In Our magnanimity We allow Our subjects to enjoy enjoy these things with Us.

We have no intention of raising Our Imperial Bouncer and Game Warden to the rank of Imperial typesetter. Thus We recommend that he calm himself with a few flagons of his choice tipple and get a good night's sleep. We are quite aware of his deficiencies in education and would never presume that he is literate beyond the modicum needful for daily life.

On Tuesday next and until the Friday following We shall be very busy working on various joints in Our Suzerainty and may not be immediately available to Our subjects. We can only assure you, Our subjects, that these joints shall make life more enjoyable and pleasant in the future.

In the mean time, the floggings shall continue, but hangings are suspended.


Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Aug 16 - 05:46 PM

neigh??


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Aug 16 - 05:33 PM

Time is neigh to announce your economic team my lord.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jul 16 - 06:19 PM

"Our Imperial Typesetter"? Not me, right? I mean, unless I get a pay raise, take that job and shelve it, eh? Unless you decree same, your Heinous.

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer.

g (my mark)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Jul 16 - 05:36 PM

Great to hear from Jennie G.. Now if Severn would just check in...


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Jul 16 - 07:39 AM

Rest assured, Oh Most Gracious Sire......there is always room for one more in the oubliette. The more, the merrier!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
(*) Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Raparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jul 16 - 03:31 PM

Maybe hypertext markup language would keep the Typesetter out of the oubliette.

What says His Imperial Rapness to Severn's "You Brexit You BOUGHT It" opinion?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 16 - 10:25 AM

We are distressed with what Our Imperial Typesetter does to Irish names, as was done in Our last post.

Please be assured that Our oubliette is not yet full. Our Imperial Typesetter has been given a Vision Of The Future and is also so assured. We have been reassured that Our Imperial Typesetter shan't make a similar mistake in the future; We assume that there will be totally different mistakes made.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®      His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jul 16 - 08:28 AM

Oh, thank goodness! No need to reset the type.

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer,
g (my mark)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 09:21 PM

We find that, overall, the Idaho potato differs but little from other foods produced en masse for masse consumption. There are, however, exceptions, as many of Our small farmers and even some of Our larger ones are now growing excellent potatoes of other than the russet variety. They produce for Us purples, goldens, creamers, reds, and other varieties which but a few years ago We found difficult to obtain. We do no condone water wastage or the indiscriminate use of -cides and We have Our doubts about the wisdom of spraying dilute hydrochloric acid on the plants a week before harvest to kill the plants and "firm up" the tubers. We do find it good that this practice is giving way to cutting off the plant and leaving the greenery to be used as green fertilizer after harvest.

We believe, and therefore it is true, that the UC Galway notes meant that Máire Ní Scolaí partook a bit much of the juice of the corn.

We hereby amend Our earlier declaration so to exclude members of Our Realm from Our "You kill it, you eat it" policy.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®      His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Jul 16 - 04:21 PM

What is the imperial opinion of the Idaho potato? Or do I have to submit that question to a Cabinet/Chamber member?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jun 16 - 05:15 PM

Oh, my word. Wrestling some more with the online translator. It seems that the chorus at UC Galway won many prizes under Máire Ní Scolaí's direction, according to the Irish Gaelic sleeve notes: "Ghnóthaigh sí féin iomad corn." Which the translator told me was: "She passed herself too much corn."

Well, that does sound downright scatological. But I thought people east of the Atlantic were disgusted with the very idea of eating sweet corn, denouncing it as "pig food."


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap twice for emptier
From: Severn
Date: 26 Jun 16 - 04:10 PM

As for MY opinion, in the newly established tradition of "You Kill it, you EAT it!",------You Brexit, you BOUGHT it!........

The trouble was that "EU" sounds like something one would say while wincing when being served Snails and Okra with Liver in Sheep Dip Gravy.......

My culinary apologies to any of you in an Escargot Cult ("Order the plane, nothing fancy...."). I guess it's all a matter of taste and the contributions to this thread tend to be a bit "unflavored"....

And, Your Imperialitudity, when you've exhausted all autobahns, there will be no more birds to shoot.....


Snorro    Zzzzzz...    (My Mark)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Jun 16 - 02:47 PM

My (lousy) translator says Cad is ainm duit?, for what it's worth. But then, my translator looked at the obituary for Leo Brennan, and decided that his age was not four and a half score years, but four and a half feet. Until I stopped and made my translator look at the obituary one blessed word at a time.

Feel free to shoot at the darned cuckoo from Ghleann Neifín.

Your Imperial Rapness, what is your opinion of Brexit?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 16 - 10:49 AM

Regarding killing another human being in anything other than self defense, surely this applies only to loyal subjects? A clarification is sought from Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r)His mark at his earliest convenience as I need to make changes to the 2016 Hunting Guide.

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer,
g (my mark)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 16 - 11:15 PM

We can only say, in Our atrocious Irish spelling and grammar that which We have often heard in pubs and worse places in Ireland, "Cad es aimn du?" We do write this Ourself, not wishing to bother Our official Irish translator, who is attending a "Taste of Irish" event in Ballyfungus. After tasting enough Irish Our translator oft talks to the little people.

We talk to the little people as well, as is evidenced in this, one of Our communications.

As for the suggestion by the Notable Severn, We find that it has much merit. THEREFORE, henceforth anyone who kills save in defense (or defence) of self or someone for whom they feel responsible, and after all other avenues, lanes, streets, roads, footpaths, byways, trails, autobahns, interstates, motorways, highways, and any and all other known and unknown means of similar ways have been exhausted, will be held to the same Law as hunters are, that is, "You killed it, you eat it."

We find that this will greatly lessen the incidents of unwarranted killing while at the same time reducing the demands upon the body public. We do not condone wastage.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          (r)      His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Jun 16 - 05:12 PM

Severn, the Emmissary, Uniform Maker, Duke, Quartermaster, etc etc, is present again. I wondered what had become of you, sir. The thread is not the same without your puns. Are you aware that His Imperial Rapness had successful Catter-wreck surgery and has reported his accuracy at target practice?

As for the re-education mandate, my part of it is at the mercy of the cuckoo. This is not just any cuckoo, mind you. This is the Cuaichín Ghleann Neifín cuckoo, who sings more than one traditional Irish tune, but is most often associated with the theme from a TV soap called "Glendore." The late Máire Ní Scolaí has been putting me through my paces. Her singing isn't on CD, for a start, except for three songs on an anthology; her recording of the cuckoo song is on a vinyl LP as well as in vinyl 78 single form. And one of her cuckoo verses is hiding where it is not to be found. Just listened to her recording of the song for the umpteenth time with the umpteenth printed collection of sean-nós lyrics, and that verse still won't match up with anything I have seen in print....and me still barely able to spell the Gaelic, never mind understand it.
Maybe I ought to stick to "Eibhlín A Rún" and forget about the darned cuckoo.

Regardless, welcome back, o irreplaceable Severn.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 24 Jun 16 - 02:32 PM

If there's a proposed measure to allow guns at political rallies, they should also allow them in police stations, churches, the White House, both houses of Congress etc. Alas, there would be nobody with the morals, good sense and skill of US Marshal Matt Dillon to clean up this modern Wild West.

So I suggest that our dear Emperor declare that anybody who kills another human being in anything other than self defense be required to clean, dress and render the carcass, so that we know who the REAL "responsible hunters" among the gun users are eating them might be a stretch, but finding out who's "responsible" while hunting for their table or freezer and who's merely "responsible" for murder and stocking the mortuary freezers. The rule I learned from my dear departed mother, God rest her soul, for hunting and fishing was "YOU killed/caught it, so YOU /render/clean it."

Maybe some of the excess bodies could be ground up and canned as "Manwich" and see if anybody notices the difference......


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jun 16 - 08:00 PM

Should anyone have forgotten what "rapaire/rapparee" is to traditional Irish music, check out "Éamonn a Chnoic" , recording re-released on this channel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiyN8UqVOC4&list=PLS6nD3HEzLcE7iNPVLsK8Q-hhG2jVsmu4


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 16 - 11:16 PM

We are leaving for Glacier National Park and Waterton Park on Tuesday, June 21. Unlike when We were in Our realm of the Grand Tetons, We should have the ability to communicate with Our humble subjects during most of this Imperial Jaunt. We find it to be most boring to be incommunicado in a pristine wilderness!


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®             His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 16 - 06:53 PM

You asking if it's shot?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jun 16 - 06:49 PM

Now that Imperious Rex has had successful Catter-wreck surgery and is shooting at things again (accurately), is there any life left in this thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 30 May 16 - 07:04 PM

You know he went there for the Maryjane, right? Rocky Mountain High, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 16 - 04:24 PM

Hope their Imperial Majesties are enjoying the Grand Tetons.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Apr 16 - 12:07 AM

"Without contraries is no progression." 
― William Blake


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 11:57 PM

"To know much and taste nothing-of what use is that?" 
 Bonaventure


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 11:56 PM

"Maybe you are already lost and just do not know it." 
Christine Feehan


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 08:59 PM

Unlike that person who styles himself a candidate for high office, We appreciate losers who make an effort. We also appreciate those who do not, for they keep Our IT in practice. So having made an attempt, We do not find fault with gnu and only suggest that he practice. Of course, We realize that his target might be only a Trompe l'oeil and bring this to gnu's attention.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®      His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 12:46 PM

I have failed. I only was able to get a few shots off from long range with my Red Rider BB Gun but it was windy and Trompe's hair was like a ninja. However, there is a petition to allow guns at his rallies (it's true; look it up). If this petition flies in the face of all common sense, I shall be able to get closer and the only windage that will be a factor is his own.

At Our service, I remain,

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer, g (my mark).


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 16 - 04:54 AM

"And, besides, acetone may screw up your nail polish."


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 16 - 09:39 PM

Are you criticizing Us?

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    ®   His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Mar 16 - 05:24 PM

Acetone, schmacetone. You guys dropped the ball again....


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 16 - 09:27 PM

Good gnu, We are aware of those who will not be named. We remember another event
or two some years back, and that Max has been dealing with the problem for some time. You can see that by the date in the links We have provided.

And We do think that it's about time all of us again started sending Max some money to help him with the expenses of the Mudcat Cafe.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®         His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 09:29 PM

Sire, I believe Max would never act in anger. I have never known such. I have only known Max to be one who asks all to be fair and "polite". To the point that he allowed vehement mind fights to unfold without interference whilst holding only one rule above all others. All who know of this rule know of what I speak. Those who broke the rule were given, generously, rope. Those that hanged themselves did so by that rope without aid. One can count the deceased upon the fingers of one hand. I could name them but to even speak their names is vile.

Sire, you may be Emperor but Max is Dog and he don't show no anger. He's a good boy... yes he is. Who's a good boy? He is.

g


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 09:05 PM

We find that We approve of Max's actions, which We find were taken in both sorrow and anger. We also have wondered how long the good Max would take to accomplish the actions he has. We find that he has far more patience than Us, for We would have had the miscreants consigned to the fair Jennie G., Our IT, as fodder for the oubliette.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®      His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 09:40 AM

"First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times."
Ilona Andrews


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 16 - 10:34 PM

Please, good gnu, be very careful with it. Do not, We repeat, NOT, also purchase acetone. We would not like for you to explosively vanish away.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 16 - 07:00 PM

Sire, I got hydrogen peroxide up the ass. Well, I mean a got a lot of it. Bought it at the Co-op on sale in small bottles a lot cheaper than even the Co-op Country Store sells it in 4 lire jugs. I spray it on my tomatoe plants fer ta keep out the blight eh? And, fer cleaning wounds, among other things.

g


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 16 - 12:04 PM

Hmmmm...We find the position of Imperial Bath Attendant And Personal Servicer To The Emperor is open....


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®      His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 25 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM

"Anticipation is the carrot suspended before the jackass to keep him moving forward. Horror is what he would see if he took his eyes off the carrot.
Louis L'Amour


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 24 Mar 16 - 11:08 PM

Geech, you didn' have to disrobe and jump into the tub before we left the room. The unflattering sight scared my cat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 24 Mar 16 - 09:34 PM

Emperor, your bath is now drawn for your pleasure.The heated water is scented and filled with sweet pine nuts, blanched sweet almonds, marsh mallow root, lilly bulbs and a candy paste of rare plants.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 16 - 09:19 PM

Our good subject gnu -- We have found that hydrogen peroxide solution, available at most apothecary shops, will remove those nasty red stains.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    ®    His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 16 - 07:29 PM

I have concluded recent covert operations required on a timely basis. None will be apprised except to say success was achieved. This bulletin is issued only to say The Emperor's safety is safe and all may rest assured that the threats have been... removed.

Oh! And I got the laundry done, the floors vacuumed, swept, mopped... dishes are clean... the regular stuff. Gotta keep the Empire neat and tidy, eh? Well, there still is a nasty red stain in the library but I am sure some elbow grease will take care of that before the investigation.

I remain, loyally and faithfully,

g


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 24 Mar 16 - 07:07 AM

"This isn't a reasoned response to a configuration of stars, but the heart cannot flourish on logic alone. Unreason is an essential medicine as long as you don't overdose."
Dean Koontz


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 23 Mar 16 - 10:52 PM

"If course it's alright for librarians to smell of drink."
Barbara Pym


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 16 - 09:56 PM

We previously worked for more than forty years in the god-like profession of librarian, and We took a lesser profession when We became Emperor. We hold a Master of Science degree in Information and Library Science in addition to Our experience in the management of information.

We present you with another quote, from the author Spider Robinson: "Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off."


Emperor Rapparee, BA, MS Imperious Rex    ®      His mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 23 Mar 16 - 09:16 PM

Does (r*) have a official historian, as he one or more librarian(s) seem to be at his call?

*I hesitate to use the full mark, which I suspect is reserved for exclusuve use of "the office"?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 23 Mar 16 - 09:07 PM

"Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."
Chinua Achebe


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