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BS: Chick/dude magnets

Marion 24 Nov 99 - 01:33 PM
Midchuck 24 Nov 99 - 01:43 PM
JedMarum 24 Nov 99 - 01:48 PM
Fortunato 24 Nov 99 - 02:11 PM
Llanfair 24 Nov 99 - 02:27 PM
Little Neophyte 24 Nov 99 - 02:27 PM
willie-o 24 Nov 99 - 02:35 PM
Bruce O. 24 Nov 99 - 02:45 PM
KathWestra 24 Nov 99 - 03:03 PM
Bruce O. 24 Nov 99 - 03:38 PM
Bruce O. 24 Nov 99 - 03:58 PM
Bob Landry 24 Nov 99 - 04:23 PM
Mbo 24 Nov 99 - 04:42 PM
sophocleese 24 Nov 99 - 05:20 PM
lamarca 24 Nov 99 - 05:44 PM
24 Nov 99 - 06:15 PM
24 Nov 99 - 06:59 PM
margaret 24 Nov 99 - 07:05 PM
MMario 24 Nov 99 - 10:35 PM
DonMeixner 24 Nov 99 - 11:17 PM
JedMarum 24 Nov 99 - 11:24 PM
DonMeixner 24 Nov 99 - 11:36 PM
JedMarum 24 Nov 99 - 11:54 PM
Lady McMoo 25 Nov 99 - 03:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 25 Nov 99 - 04:07 AM
Jeri 25 Nov 99 - 09:12 AM
Liz the Squeak 25 Nov 99 - 09:46 AM
WyoWoman 25 Nov 99 - 12:37 PM
Marion 25 Nov 99 - 01:54 PM
catspaw49 25 Nov 99 - 02:07 PM
Bruce O. 25 Nov 99 - 02:13 PM
Steve Latimer 25 Nov 99 - 03:36 PM
WyoWoman 25 Nov 99 - 03:48 PM
Liz the Squeak 25 Nov 99 - 04:54 PM
WyoWoman 25 Nov 99 - 05:38 PM
anonNO1 25 Nov 99 - 08:10 PM
DonMeixner 25 Nov 99 - 08:18 PM
catspaw49 25 Nov 99 - 08:20 PM
Jeri 25 Nov 99 - 09:20 PM
catspaw49 25 Nov 99 - 09:41 PM
Caitrin 25 Nov 99 - 10:02 PM
anonNO1 25 Nov 99 - 10:37 PM
WyoWoman 25 Nov 99 - 10:40 PM
catspaw49 25 Nov 99 - 10:54 PM
sophocleese 25 Nov 99 - 10:56 PM
Barry Finn 25 Nov 99 - 10:59 PM
WyoWoman 25 Nov 99 - 11:05 PM
Jeri 25 Nov 99 - 11:14 PM
DonMeixner 25 Nov 99 - 11:22 PM
Jeri 25 Nov 99 - 11:29 PM
Little Neophyte 25 Nov 99 - 11:45 PM
DonMeixner 25 Nov 99 - 11:47 PM
Jeri 25 Nov 99 - 11:56 PM
catspaw49 26 Nov 99 - 12:00 AM
Barry Finn 26 Nov 99 - 12:15 AM
Steve Parkes 26 Nov 99 - 03:29 AM
Liz the Squeak 26 Nov 99 - 05:54 AM
Steve Parkes 26 Nov 99 - 07:53 AM
harpgirl 26 Nov 99 - 09:19 AM
Liz the Squeak 26 Nov 99 - 11:24 AM
Steve Latimer 26 Nov 99 - 11:35 AM
Michael K. 26 Nov 99 - 11:49 AM
WyoWoman 26 Nov 99 - 02:49 PM
WyoWoman 26 Nov 99 - 02:49 PM
Liz the Squeak 26 Nov 99 - 10:54 PM
Liz the Squeak 26 Nov 99 - 10:55 PM
Jeri 26 Nov 99 - 11:02 PM
WyoWoman 26 Nov 99 - 11:02 PM
catspaw49 26 Nov 99 - 11:28 PM
Liz the Squeak 26 Nov 99 - 11:42 PM
DonMeixner 26 Nov 99 - 11:44 PM
Liz the Squeak 26 Nov 99 - 11:46 PM
catspaw49 26 Nov 99 - 11:49 PM
WyoWoman 26 Nov 99 - 11:49 PM
catspaw49 27 Nov 99 - 12:29 AM
WyoWoman 27 Nov 99 - 12:36 AM
Liz the Squeak 27 Nov 99 - 04:32 AM
catspaw49 27 Nov 99 - 08:23 AM
DonMeixner 27 Nov 99 - 08:39 AM
Caitrin 27 Nov 99 - 10:24 AM
catspaw49 27 Nov 99 - 10:26 AM
catspaw49 27 Nov 99 - 10:43 AM
WyoWoman 27 Nov 99 - 01:29 PM
Liz the Squeak 27 Nov 99 - 03:41 PM
Bill D 27 Nov 99 - 09:49 PM
WyoWoman 27 Nov 99 - 09:55 PM
Michael K. 27 Nov 99 - 11:36 PM
WyoWoman 28 Nov 99 - 01:20 AM
DonMeixner 28 Nov 99 - 01:33 AM
WyoWoman 28 Nov 99 - 02:07 AM
Liz the Squeak 28 Nov 99 - 03:07 AM
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Subject: Chick/dude magnets
From: Marion
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 01:33 PM

Ok, it seems like every band I go to see, I fall in love with the fiddler if he's male.

Any other women/gay men notice this phenomenon?

More importantly, is there an instrument I can take up that has the same effect on men? Especially fiddle-playing men?

Thank you for your thoughts,

Marion


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Midchuck
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 01:43 PM

Whatever you do, stay away from the upright bass. Guys see themselves being made to carry it, and that scares us off. (My wife took up the big bass after many years of marriage, so I had no choice except divorce, and I was afraid no one else would have me....)

If you want to catch a fiddler or mandolinist, the guitar is good, 'cause the guy will consider it convenient to have a rhythm player available whenever he needs it. That works with banjo players, too, but why in heaven's name....?


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: JedMarum
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 01:48 PM

Marion - I can't say about male fiddle players, but I can tell you that as soon as I heard Alsion Kraus sing and play I said, "I don't care what this girl looks like, I' in love!"

Perhaps this is the same phenomenon!


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Fortunato
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 02:11 PM

Marion,

I could go for a girl who played: Button Accordian or Slide Guitar Regards Fortunato


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Llanfair
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 02:27 PM

In my experience, the instrument that attracts a man most is the cooker. Hwyl, Bron.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 02:27 PM

Marion, how about the Service Bell?


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: willie-o
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 02:35 PM

I wasn't going to get into this, but...just this second CBC Radio One aired a phone call from "Debbie from Winnipeg" who described herself as a cabaret performer...usually a topless accordion player. (She was discussing workplace problems created by lactation. I'm not making this up...swear to God. Someone else back me up on this!)

Weeeeeeyllllllll...she'd have to be a _good_ accordion player, but that would definitely work for me!

(willie-o is Bill C. who has decided to tradify his moniker)


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Bruce O.
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 02:45 PM

Keep it platonic Marion. Fiddlers have a reputation of being rather feeble warriors in the bedchamber. See ZN1521 and ZN2606 in the broadside ballad index at www.erols.com/olsonw for songs on the subject of inadequate fiddlers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: KathWestra
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 03:03 PM

Hmmm....
There's also ample folksong evidence for men whose "fiddle" works like a charm. As in these verses from "Wild Rippling Waters," collected by one of the Lomaxes in Texas.

Well they hadn't been there but an hour or so,
When out of his satchel come a fiddle and bow,
And the tune that he played seemed to make the woods ring,
Hark, Hark, said the lady, hear the nightingales sing!

And now, my pretty lady, it's time to give o'er
Oh no, handsome cowboy, play just one tune more,
For I'd rather hear your fiddle, just the touch of one string,
Than see the waters glide and head the nightingales sing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Bruce O.
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 03:38 PM

Kathy, that's a late perversion, originally he was a soldier who just fiddled around a lot with maids. The original 17th century version, "The Nightingale's Song (Soldier's Fair Music and Maid's Recreation") is in the Scarce Songs 1 file on my website. Click


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Bruce O.
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 03:58 PM

We seem to have lost a Scottish song of the 17th century with content similar to "The Nightingale's Song". The tune, alone, of "Iockey plaise on Ienneis fidle" is in the Skene MS (one of the titles expurgated by Wm. Dauney in his list of the manuscript's contents in 'Ancient Scottish Melodies')


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Bob Landry
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 04:23 PM

Men with fiddles haven't done much for me in terms of magnetism. But then, there's Lucy McNeil of the Barra McNeils, a traditional Cape Breton group. Be it the fiddle, the bodrahn, the celtic harp or her voice, I like what I hear and see. I spoke to Lucy and her brothers briefly about a month ago after their recent concert here, but I had to limit my conversation to music-related topics; my real-life significant other was standing by my side.

Bob


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 04:42 PM

It happens! I'm currently in love with Kate Rusby and Natalie MacMaster!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: sophocleese
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 05:20 PM

Presence, Presence, Presence! Okay and ability. Which is why I am currently infatuated with one Harvey Keitel. Damned if I can think of anything I can do that would attract him to me though. The minor matter of being married with kids not really being important right? "Players only love you when they're playing."


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: lamarca
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 05:44 PM

Gee, with me it was always guitar and bouzouki players - flashing fingers and all those strings. Pierre Bensusan and (the late) Michael Hedges, with their fancy riffs and long curly hair, for instance. It still is - my husband is a WONDERFUL guitar player (although a bit deficient in the long, curly hair department...)


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From:
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 06:15 PM

A singer and a guitar - since a good voice is very rare - BTW Alison Kraus is a croaker IMHO - it used to be a treat to hear a good singer -hence folk clubs- nowadays any old croaker will do.

Fiddles - they come and they GO - tg. The players are arrogant bigheaded and rude, they abuse other musicians with their tasteless humor, the insult my ears with squaky out of tune sounds and screech like some insane teenage female ape in search of a mate. Enough already.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From:
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 06:59 PM

Blank above wasn't me. And I don't agree. They can compete with voice on a song if it's not worked out right. They have been the premier instrument for country dances since about 1700.

gargoyle's little helper elf.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: margaret
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 07:05 PM

On the 1976 Ashley Hutchings et al album of morris dance music, "Son of Morris On," there's a charming little dialogue recited by Shirley Collins and John Tams called "Bring Your Fiddle" which is perhaps related to the tune that Bruce O. mentions (it starts off with 'jockie to his lady" or something, but lots of my music is being held hostage on old vinyl and I am without a turntable just at present and can't quite remember the words). The liner note says it's taken from a printed broadsheet, but I don't know if the tune they're playing behind the recitation is linked to the broadside or not. Don't know if the album's still available, but it's really enjoyable, worth seeking out.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: MMario
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 10:35 PM

If you've seen "1776" they would have you believe that Mrs. Thomas Jefferson liked a man with a fiddle.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 11:17 PM

I think I should prefer the love of a woman who has a way with words. A singer who knows the ground between Alto and Soprano with an ear for harmony. Should she also be a musician I'd like her to play either guitar and or Banjo, clawhammer style. But I'd also like a women who fished and sailed and knew water and boats. And have a collection of late 50's and early 60's comic books. Should she have all those attributes and was willimg to share them with me. I'd be willing to share my fascination with quilts, antiques, mystery novels, and wine. But really should it come to the wire, the love of me and the willingness to try the music is enough and I'd share the rest anyway.

BTW I agree with Anon, Allison Krause reminds me of the entire Lullaby League, shrilling away, all at once.

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: JedMarum
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 11:24 PM

Lullaby League? croaker IMHO? Are these good? Should Alison be honored?


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 11:36 PM

Liam,

She sounds like a munchkin onher best day out.. She should stick to the fiddle. There is where she excels.

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: JedMarum
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 11:54 PM

hmmm, a loveable munchkin! I guess one man's meat ... etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 03:37 AM

Mrs McMoo has a strong penchant for Uillean pipers.

Unfortunately we don't see too many of them in these parts...!

Just joking of course...! Ouch!!!! (...too late, hit from behind!)

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 04:07 AM

Ah, for a good bum (sorry, buns/butt/keister/arse/whatever) on a guy, I go for hairy morris dancers.....

Actually, I think I just go for hairy..... Which is why I fell in love with Sean Connery, when I was 11, after seeing him in 'Thunderball', that hairy chest, those gorgeous brown eyes, that wonderful........

sorry, need a lie down.........

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 09:12 AM

For me it's the voice, singing and/or speaking. A pleasant rear view doesn't hurt, either.

Don, wanna buy an antique quilt cover? Maybe I actually do have something to add to the auction!


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 09:46 AM

Yeah, that way there's something nice to look at as you chuck 'em out!!!

What is this auction then? Anyone going to let me in on the secret??

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 12:37 PM

Furry, I like. Funny is better. Furry and funny, a winning combination. As far as a particular instrument or style, that isn't as important as a deep feeling for the music, and not such a deep feeling for how wonderful he believes himself to be. Confidence is nice, arrogance is icky and unattractive.

The problem with musicians who've been gigging for years is that they're often so accustomed to having members of the opposite sex flop eagerly all over them they've sometimes seen and done everything -- or seem to have. I hate feeling like "the next one," just one more willing female on a long, long list. Know what I mean? So someone who isn't too world-weary is a magnet to me.

Healthy is attractive, too. The older we get the less attractive those bad-boy habits get: smoking, drinking to excess, promiscuity. When we were in our 20s, they had a certain anti-hero glamour. Now, I can just imagine the respirator just over the hill...

Playful, smart, kind-hearted and passionate about all different kinds of music pull me in on the tractor beam...the particular instrument or musical form isn't important (Ok, ok. It'd be a huge stretch for me to be attracted to a rap singer because, a.) they're children and b.) the music is usually so misogynistic and unmusical.)

WyoWoman


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Marion
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 01:54 PM

Bruce and Kathwestra, I'm very impressed. So is there really no such thing as a BS thread?

Anonymous poster number one, your wife ran away with a fiddler, didn't she?

Marion


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 02:07 PM

I can see I'm probably not going to score by blowing up a possum's ass am I?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Bruce O.
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 02:13 PM

I shouldn't have said 'perversion' regarding "The Wide Rippling Waters" above, and I apologize. That just the results of oral tradition at work, and long may it continue to work.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 03:36 PM

Catspaw,

Here I was thinking that the only musical instruments I've played are a five string banjo and tuba, and have often felt I'll never score with them on my resume, but having seen your special talent, I feel I have a chance.

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 03:48 PM

That's the joy of Catspaw. He makes us all feel as though we might have a chance...

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 04:54 PM

Cat, if I could be any animal, I think I'd like to be a possum..... if only to see what the fuss is about, not to be squished across three lanes of the highway...!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 05:38 PM

Oh, god. Now I have to trace this thread. I simply MUST hear what 'Spaw replies to this...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: anonNO1
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 08:10 PM

The fact is I did loose my gorgeous redhead gal over a fiddle but not because of a fiddler, well sort of. What happened was this, I used play a tune called the 'Sweep's Hornpipe' on fiddle (muted) but never in public, and unknown to me I had an audience. Since I played at certain times of day lots of folk soon knew where to go to listen to ummmm 'different' music. Now I am not that good and besides the above played but a few Polkas and Hornpipes, but the fiddle was (more later) a genuine Friederich Anzio Glass of the early 1700's. Certified! It sounded mega sweet - I mean like better than some really expensive instrument.

Pretty soon, it being a small midwest town, the local bloodsuckers got wind of the fiddle. Presently my beloved was in new company and drinking a lot of alchohol, which heretofore she had never done! Next thing I knew, court writ and papers - I owned nothing except $20=00 an old car and few personal items, oh and the local Deputy accompanied me to the city limit. I understand a lawyer now 'owns' my fiddle.

I still do not play in public -my dear sister sent her son 10,000 miles with a Romanian replacement- she holds title to this fiddle and it is nearly as sweet as the Glass, in fact if there ever is a dispute over ownership it may well start ww3!

Regarding women and men and music, seems to me that a man/woman who plays anything must have at least a little intelligence, ie enough memory to store a tune or two, the coordination to play and the imagination to entertain. However I must add, having four sisters, that women are firstly moved by looks next by sounds especially jingling and next by money/power. Also 'I' notice that they are very impulsive and given to grabbing the first likely man they meet. Course there are exceptions so don't go beating me around the ears, got lots of that years ago from my sisters.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 08:18 PM

Jeri,

Thanks for the offer. But I have a quilter friend who holds sway to my heart and should she ever find out that another woman is sending me bed coverings even my skill with words couldn't explain it away to suit her :-).

Regards,

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 08:20 PM

Why go to all the trouble to become a possum Squeaks? Personally speaking, I'd hate to see you go through all the grief that must entail, not to mention the change in diet...eating garbage and all. So if you like, I'd be more than happy to give your ass a toot in your present incarnation if you'd like. From a musical standpoint, I'm not sure what kind of tune we could play on your keister, but maybe we could use your "cheeks" for a percussion section and get some interesting additional effects. Plus, a feather may be useful too.

Hey Steve!!! Maybe you can work the tuba thing to YOUR advantage....I didn't think Ol' Cleigh would get ME this far, so there's always hope. Just don't mention the banjo, ya know?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 09:20 PM

Well, it was worth a try. Damn.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 09:41 PM

Yeah...C'mon Don...........How about a virtual affair? I've got a couple going and gawd knows Mick does. And Jeri's a hot ticket...even dragonflies dig her hooters and Cletus has been arrested for peeping in her windows and contributing to the delinquency of a clay possum. How many other girls you know can fiddle while catching clams with their feet? Go ahead, name one!?!?! You need to give this some thought Don.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Caitrin
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:02 PM

Fiddle players are cute, but generally unbearably arrogant. I tend to prefer bagpipers (i.e. Seven Nations' Neil Anderson) and guitarists (of virtually any musical type). Of course, a vocalist who I can harmonize with is always nice too...and we can't forget banjo players...oh, heck, I love 'em all. Guys who really love music are wonderful, no matter what they play.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: anonNO1
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:37 PM

My favorite tune now is an obscure piece called 'Dr Gilberts', it requires a strong vibrant string attack and discourages audience participation being slow almost bluesey, one of those tunes which if it had words would be a 'bitchin' song. Tear in ma beer and all that crap. Awe well..... Better to be alone and happy than in a crowd and lonely.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:40 PM

"Dragonflies love her hooters..."

That sounds almost like an epitaph, doesn't it...

"...and dragonflies loved her hooters
And possums blew her ...

oh, nivver mind...

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:54 PM

Well my, aren't we morbid tonight. An epitaph??? I'd like to root around in your brain for awhile Pansy to see where that one came from. LMAO!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: sophocleese
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:56 PM

On our fridge we have a 'Cornered' cartoon, culled from some paper or other, showing a man and woman in bed. The man is leaning over, away from the bed, and playing bagpipes. The woman is staring, annoyed, at him. The caption reads "From the No. 1 best seller, 'Women are from Venus, Men are from Scotland.'" It is attached to our fridge with a magnet.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Barry Finn
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:59 PM

Before I got married, I was mainly attracted to woman that breathed, didn't matter much what & how they played. Then I married a woman that played penny whistle, since marring me she gave up the whistle but she still likes to play & which is just fine by me as long as she still breathes once & a while. Next life I'll get it on with a whistle that breathes & a bird that sings & when they stop they'll both still be playing till the lights blow out or the storm blows over or at the very least till I stop breathing. Barry


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:05 PM

It's probably because I ate so much Thanksgiving dinner I feel as though I might croak ...

I NEVER intend to eat that much. But it was fun, with plenty of good company and good food.

Besides, Spaw, I'm always thinking of either band names or epitaphs. My favorite epitaph, and the one I do so hope my children will select for me, despite the fact that I intend to be cremated, is, "See? I *told* you I was sick..."

(this isn't thread creep, is it? I mean, don't dudes find discussions of epitaphs and cremation 'n' shit pretty attractive, or have I just been hanging out with the wrong dudes?)

Wyo Pansy Rue Woman, M.B.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:14 PM

...and she was feared by clams everywhere. I kind of feel like the pied fiddler of clams. Jeez, Spaw, when did the fiddle get into the act? And aren't you "rooting around" enough without getting your hands all over WW's medula oblongata? Sick, just sick.

Sophocleese, loved the description of the cartoon.

Barry, glad to hear you weren't formerly attracted to women who didn't breathe, although I didn't quite get the part about breathing whistles.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:22 PM

Dragonflies? I've made some silver ones in the past, but jeezus Pat how would you know about... well... you know?

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:29 PM

In some thread somewhere, I mentioned floating around in the water with dragonflies flitting about above. Catspaw jumped on it like a rock star on a supermodel.

I'd probably love your silver dragonflies, but you're now going to tell me your lady friend will be upset if you show your jewelry to other women. Humph...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:45 PM

Barry, that's a very sad story
I hope you don't have to wait that long to find a lovely lady whose breath is gentle and kind.

Bonnie


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:47 PM

Jeri,

Actually she is a very wise if only slightly jealous women who knows I must sell jewelry to survive. After the Christmas craziness I'll send you a catalog of sorts.

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 11:56 PM

Thanks, Don! (I was just kidding about the jealousy.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 12:00 AM

So much material, so little time...........I'm going to bed. But Jeri, those were two of the funniest lines I've read in weeks!!!!!!!No, three..three of the funniest lines. LMAOWROTF

And Don, she's right....I'm so pathetic..not ashamed, just pathetic. I think its part of the Mudcatter's Manual, in the section called "Simple Ass Rules We're All Stuck With Because Catspaw Lives by Them" in paragraph 3 it states my annoying compulsion to take some innocuous line and turn it into a truly stupid joke of limited humor and then proceed to beat it into the ground ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Jeri's clams and hooters, Kat's Faeries, Peter T. and the Waylon Heron, and then there is ol WW as addressed below.

Pansy Rue Bob WW Twidgett, MB---Epitaphs and band names??? Geeziz, I'll bet you were a Grateful Dead fan huh?

G'Night all........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Barry Finn
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 12:15 AM

Hi Bonnie & Jeri, my wife is still breathing & I'm very pleased with that & I'll only ever leave her when she stops it. It's not at all a sad story she played a whistle (comes close to playing a banjo, almost) but she still sings like a bird once & awhile & she's as playfull as ever. I did know a few women though that found breathless squeezebox players the most attractive type of musician. Barry who once tried his hand on a concertina but quickly traded UP to a more free breathing skin tight bodhran.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 03:29 AM

When I started to read this thread, for some reason it made me think of the late Sir Thomas Beecham's famous comment to a lady 'cellist ... but I'm far too well brought up to metion it here.

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 05:54 AM

If it's poets and perversion you want - the late lamented Poet Laureate Sir John Betjamin was responsible for the two liner:

I rather think that I would like, To be the saddle on a ladies bike.

And when asked in an interview - is there anything you regret? answered 'Not enough sex!' He is of course, one of my favorite poets.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 07:53 AM

Well, if it's kinky poets you're after, look no further than Robert Southey. Did you know he wrote "Goldilocks and the three bears", too? I expect he was lying on his stomach or standing up at the mantelpiece when he wrote it.

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: harpgirl
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 09:19 AM

...ah,for me the most attractive men are those with an endless supply of tunes and songs to share with me...a gentlemen smarter than I am...harpgirl


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:24 AM

Spaw, any time.... Just you keep developing that embouchure and I'll give my ass a quick polish.... but why the feather......?

Do you have a hairy chest as well?? shllluurrrrpppp!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:35 AM

Hey 'Spaw, you're right, there's hope. I have "Tuba Embouchure" going for me.

Did I say I play the Five String? Different guy, I wouldn't know a forward roll from a square roll, but you ladies should see my Sousaphone.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Michael K.
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:49 AM

People (in general) seem to be attracted to talent, which is one of the ultimate aphrodisiacs.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 02:49 PM

Yeah, but you can't beat a good embrouchure...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 02:49 PM

Can't spell it either...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 10:54 PM

Who needs to be able to spell it, so long as they can do it!

Talent is a two edged sword, I used to go out with this gorgeous guy, brown eyes, hairy chest, soft, mid west accent, played guitar like you wouldn't believe and sang the most beautiful songs, both self penned and others; but he had two addictions, one was to substance abuse (relatively mild, whiskey and vallium, - well it's mild compared with some) and the other: a girl who hung on his every word, followed his every move, applauded his every song, whether it deserved it or not, and basically mirrored his every action. He would get fed up with her every 8 months or so and go looking for another. The average relationship lasted about 8 weeks, or until the second girl decided she wasn't fond of being his shadow and watching him stone himself to death... Then he'd go back to the first one. He was extremely talented, and could have really got somewhere, if only he would break the two addictions. He knew he was talented, and made sure everyone else did as well. I ended up calling him Narcissus, and so the first girl of course became Echo, because that is all she did. Talent is a terrible thing, to see wasted because Echo wouldn't either leave the town with him, or just leave him. As far as I know, as of last year, they are still in the same pattern, she still hunts for him everywhere, and he is just hunting in bottles.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 10:55 PM

Give me a nice ass, a hairy chest and a pleasant smile any day, I'll keep singing solo......

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:02 PM

Liz, if you have a hairy chest, you may very well keep singing solo.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:02 PM

Yeah, talent is only a part of it. I mean, it makes watching and listening to more fun, but many a jerk has great talent and he's still a jerk. Life is much to short to fill it with jerks.

In my life, nice guys most definitely do not finish last.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:28 PM

Aw geeziz WW, nice guys DON'T finish last? Well damn. Another excuse shot all to hell..........................

And Squeaks, if you have a hairy chest as Jeri suggested, you can forget the entire ass-blowing thing. Cleigh is clay. Smooth you know? Do you get many crumbs caught in the hair? Jeri could loan you some dragonflies maybe.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:42 PM

I only have hair on my head, not on my chest! I don't have a moustache, I don't have (very) hairy legs and I certainly don't have any on the palms of my hands, not during a new moon anyway......

Admittedly, the hair on my head does go down to my bum, but it isn't quite Lady Godiva - it's too chuffing cold for that anyway!!

I'm starting to feel very put upon tonight, I may just go and join the anonymous ELF and sulk....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:44 PM

Jeez Wyo,

For I years I've always been told it was the nice guy who finshed last. Or maybe its nice if the guy finishes last.

Or may be I'm confused.

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:46 PM

I'd be more than happy if the nice guy even started.....

Sorry, more information than needed to know there.... oops.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:49 PM

Aw gee, don't do that Squeaks........I might then find it necessary to refer to you as an "obnoxious asshole" too...and then where would we be?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 26 Nov 99 - 11:49 PM

Well, I've always thought the latter was better, but these days, it's nice if he starts at all...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 12:29 AM

When you get these cross posting time things, the answers really get entertaining don't they? LMAO

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 12:36 AM

Ok,ok.I REALLY have to go watch Spinal Tap, but I can't resist. What's the anonymous ELF? This sounds like a support group for very pesky little people...

Funny, Squeak. You and I just did the same variation on a theme...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 04:32 AM

Wyo - ELF - as previously suggested - Egotistical Little Fart. Perhaps we'd better get together and go cruising one night..... Grab ourselves a cool car, stuff 'Spaw in the back for later, roll down some beach road somewhere (but not Bridport, nothing ever happens in Bridport)and see what we can catch....

Knowing our luck (if your comment is anything to go by)we'll both catch colds, 'Spaw will be useless from being doubled up in the trunk, and we'll end up with a ticket!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 08:23 AM

I get the 'boot' to the 'boot?' Just great..........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 08:39 AM

Catspaw,

All this flirtatious and taugnting banter aside you are in serious trouble here. Its obvious from Wyo's picture that she is seriously too young for you and Liz sounds like she must be in her teens. A very mature teenager mind you but far to youthful for you, and you with your recent health issues. Could be a fatal adventure and perhaps worse, an illegal one owning to their ages.

Now I on the other hand and much more nearly the right age for these ladies and I would.......... Yike! gotta run, steps on the stairs.

Don


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Caitrin
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 10:24 AM

Hey, I'm 17! Does that mean I'm older than Wyo and Liz? Cool!

I think the "nice guys finish last" thing gets started in high school. Girls my age are, for the most part, nasty little people who don't care about much other than looks and popularity. Because of the emotional scarring nice guys get from rejection at that age, they tend to become less likely to even try later. Of course, I have to say that nice girls tend to finish last, too. Guys are every bit as bad about having standards that no human female girl could ever live up to.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 10:26 AM

Yeah, you're right again Don. I can see where that year and half age difference would make you far more suitable. But you DO HEAR that creak on the stairs don't you?

And HEY!!! I do have clean bill of health.......Wait a minute...maybe I just have the bills...Yeah, that's it. But they are all nice and clean. I dust off the "unpaid" folder every week or so.

I'm thinking Squeaks is older since she has a hairy chest and all....had you considered that? And Pansy Rue Bob WW Twidgett, MB........well, I think Cleigh has a crush on her and maybe she has one on him. She DID send him a handmade, personalized, bubble-wrap cape which he's quite taken with. Then there is Cletus too. He ran 17 copies of WW's picture in the bubble wrap and has them stuck all over...the dashboard of his pick-up, next to his bed, on the door, etc....not to mention the one he had blown up and is now on the wall in his outhouse. Don't ask...I don't even want to think about it.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 10:43 AM

Ah Caitrin, were I but 30 (or so) years younger........BTW, I'm really glad to have you at the 'Cat!!! You have a good head and make me think well of the future.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 01:29 PM

I may never be able to purge the image from my mind of me in my bubblewrap finest blown up large on Cletus' outhouse door. Try as I might ...

Well, this morning when I called my good friend, whom I'll call Cynthia, I was reminded of this whole chick magnet/what attracts women conversation. Cynthia is one of the other editors I work with and she is a brilliant, beautiful woman who has just turned 60. She's a wonderful writer, well-read, huge-hearted and nice to look at. The man she's been living with for four years now and is utterly devoted to is a truck driver whose dyslexia means that he can't read much more than highway signs, and he struggles with that. So he's not "literate," can't engage in swift repartee with her, doesn't share her interests. And yet, five minutes with the two of them together and there's absolutely no denying: she adores him. And vice versa.

What she says about him is simple, "He's the dearest man I've ever met." And he is. As kind as the day is long, generous and willing to go the extra mile for just about anyone. And although he isn't 'book-smart,' he's people smart and his insights are always dead on. He's warm of heart and body, and he fulfills her as no one ever has. Partly because she has been a beautiful woman, she's attracted some real sumbitches in her day. She feels as though her life has finally worked out because she has this dear, sweet man to come home to.

SO ... for women who really know what's what, kindness and commitment to the relationship trump all the flashy stuff any day. Any day.

WyoWoman, who's still hoping her kind-heart shows up...


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 03:41 PM

Oh, you say the sweetest things....

I left my teens behind a long long long time ago, I have a television set that is half as old as I am, and that could legally vote and drink in the UK....

And I DON'T HAVE A HAIRY CHEST!!!

'Spaw, you're only in the boot because we don't want to frighten off any that we might catch, you know, those young, unsuspecting things that frighten easily..... Besides, age has never bothered me, I always went for the older man (more money, less inhibitions, very grateful.....!)

Don - who you callin' a lady???!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 09:49 PM

(reading this thread for the first time)...and remembering a very good female friend of mine who was walking with me at a festival when she was smitten by a performer with that 'something' that some women get all silly over...well, she made her moves....followed him around, etc..and came by next day to report that HE hadn't had time for her...but he'd offered her to ANOTHER performer...(both names you'd know!)...and she'd spent a long evening with #2.....well..*big grin*, turns out, he had refused to mess with her because he knew ME!...and had seen the lady with me, and thought she was with me!..I waited 20 years to tell her what had happened!


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 09:55 PM

That doesn't sound very flattering to the poor female in question. Getting handed off in that way, and STANDING for it.

WW


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Michael K.
Date: 27 Nov 99 - 11:36 PM

....ahem.......speaking of tender, sensitive, dear men.......

(..drum roll.............................cymbal crash!)


A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin.


On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses.


He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darring, I know dis you firs time and you flighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting you want. What you want?"


"I wanna numma 69" she replies.


He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wanna beef wit broccorri?"

(tah-dah-boom)


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 28 Nov 99 - 01:20 AM

If there are any Asian 'catters out there, we do humbly apologize for our brethren.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: DonMeixner
Date: 28 Nov 99 - 01:33 AM

Bad taste is timeless.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: WyoWoman
Date: 28 Nov 99 - 02:07 AM

And if we ever doubt it, we have Catspaw to remind us of this truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: Chick/dude magnets
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Nov 99 - 03:07 AM

From the book "101 Punchlines we have known and loved"

'Great, but can I owe you the other 67?'

For full versions of this joke send $10 to Liz the Squeak East London home for the Terminally Bewildered... London Mars.

LTS


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 23 April 1:02 PM EDT

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