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BS: A new unit of measure.

Bert 17 Mar 14 - 03:35 AM
GUEST,Black belt caterpillar wrestler 17 Mar 14 - 04:08 AM
Musket 17 Mar 14 - 04:35 AM
Doug Chadwick 17 Mar 14 - 04:49 AM
Bert 17 Mar 14 - 04:52 AM
Musket 17 Mar 14 - 04:53 AM
Bert 17 Mar 14 - 04:57 AM
Dave the Gnome 17 Mar 14 - 04:58 AM
Doug Chadwick 17 Mar 14 - 05:37 AM
MGM·Lion 17 Mar 14 - 07:38 AM
Splott Man 17 Mar 14 - 08:45 AM
Nigel Parsons 17 Mar 14 - 08:54 AM
GUEST,leeneia 17 Mar 14 - 09:01 AM
MGM·Lion 17 Mar 14 - 09:03 AM
Bert 17 Mar 14 - 10:07 AM
Bert 17 Mar 14 - 10:09 AM
GUEST,Eliza 17 Mar 14 - 10:15 AM
Doug Chadwick 17 Mar 14 - 10:24 AM
GUEST,Eliza 17 Mar 14 - 10:42 AM
Mr Red 17 Mar 14 - 11:01 AM
Doug Chadwick 17 Mar 14 - 11:02 AM
gnu 17 Mar 14 - 11:04 AM
G-Force 17 Mar 14 - 11:33 AM
Musket 17 Mar 14 - 11:39 AM
gnu 17 Mar 14 - 12:16 PM
Ebbie 17 Mar 14 - 12:26 PM
Bill D 17 Mar 14 - 12:31 PM
gnu 17 Mar 14 - 12:42 PM
Bettynh 17 Mar 14 - 12:44 PM
gnu 17 Mar 14 - 01:01 PM
Bert 17 Mar 14 - 01:05 PM
Tangledwood 17 Mar 14 - 05:34 PM
gnu 17 Mar 14 - 05:36 PM
Bert 17 Mar 14 - 06:49 PM
McGrath of Harlow 17 Mar 14 - 07:21 PM
gnu 17 Mar 14 - 07:39 PM
ChanteyLass 17 Mar 14 - 08:12 PM
Joe_F 17 Mar 14 - 08:26 PM
McGrath of Harlow 17 Mar 14 - 08:28 PM
GUEST,Eliza 18 Mar 14 - 03:37 AM
Mr Red 19 Mar 14 - 06:45 AM
gnu 19 Mar 14 - 07:31 AM
Doug Chadwick 19 Mar 14 - 09:03 AM
Bert 19 Mar 14 - 09:40 AM
artbrooks 19 Mar 14 - 09:56 AM
MGM·Lion 19 Mar 14 - 10:16 AM
GUEST,Musket 19 Mar 14 - 11:36 AM
gnu 19 Mar 14 - 01:25 PM
GUEST,Eliza 19 Mar 14 - 02:00 PM
Steve Shaw 19 Mar 14 - 02:21 PM
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Subject: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 03:35 AM

Napoleon went mad and just one of the results of his insanity was The Metric System.

Of course everyone thought this was great and copied him.

However, you can't keep a good system down, and the system of UNITS is now coming back to life.

Now units are measurements that are chosen for their utility rather than because their inventor went mad.

So I have noticed recently that a new unit of measure is being used throughout the civilized world.

That unit is "The Football Field". So if you see something large being described by the media, it is never so many meters it is as big as a football field or even two or three football fields if it is really big.

So common sense is eventually coming back to life.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:08 AM

Unless it is a country-sized object, in which case it is measured in "Wales" units.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Musket
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:35 AM

Going back to when I was a scout, many moons ago, an outward bounds instructor told us to measure out distance in how many football fields it seems to be, and that is units of about a hundred yards. (Slightly more at Hillsborough, slightly less at Elland Rd)

Down the pit, as an apprentice working in the surface fitting shop, an electrician rang from underground to ask me to make up a Dexion rail assembly for holding a conveyer control station. He told me to make it three pick handles long, and two paper bags high......

There again, most of our nut and bolt fastenings were Whitworth... None of that Napoleon nonsense!


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:49 AM

I suggest a new metric unit named in honour of Mudcat.

          1 Cat = The standard unit of pointless argument.

Normal arguments would measured in milliCats. Nuclear war would be measured in megaCats. I wonder how many Cats could be achieved by some of our more argumentative members and guests?

DC


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:52 AM

To be quite blunt; what is pointless about talking about football fields?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Musket
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:53 AM

We already have cats eyes in the road. If they had cats arses, they'd need twice as many cats.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:57 AM

Another, very useful unit which hasn't died is 'The Hand' for measuring horses.

Fifteen hands sounds much better that 1524 sillimeters.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 04:58 AM

Nah - Cats have 2 eyes but only 1 arse. So we would need half as many again :-)

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 05:37 AM

To be quite blunt; what is pointless about talking about football fields?

You sound a bit sensitive to me there, Bert. Mine was a new suggestion rather than a reply to you. Your argument would only register a few milliCats on the pointless scale. ;-)

But seriously, just as imperial and US gallons are different sizes, a soccer field is around 1/3 as big again as an American football field. That is one of the problems of non-SI units of measurement; - apparently similar measurements can mean different things to different people.

DC


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 07:38 AM

Can even have different meanings regionally. A gill is ¼-pint -- so defined in Wikipedia &c. But if you ask for "a gill" in a Northern English pub, you will be served a ½-pint; which appears to be its meaning in some versions of 'The Barley Mow'. Roma Gill, the late Marlovian & Shakespearean editor, who was a friend of mine at Cambridge, came from Keighley in Yorkshire, & told me once that her nickname at home among friends in the Bradford Civic Playhouse &c, was "halfpint".

~M~


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Splott Man
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 08:45 AM

I thought the scale went:

As big as a London bus, a tennis court, a football field, Wales (or Belgium).

And here's confirmation of the latter...

The Size of Wales

Splott Man


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 08:54 AM

The definition of a 'gill' as 1/4 pint much predates Wikipaedia.
The standard pub measure for spirits (rigidly enforced) used to be 1/6 of a gill (1/24 of a pint)
This worked quite well, as the standard 'bottle' for spirits was twenty six and two thirds fluid ounces (or one and one third pints). So a standard bottle held exactly 32 standard measures (or 16 doubles).
Alcohol duty on spirits was calculated by the gallon, which provides a very neat 6 standard bottles.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 09:01 AM

Yes, Bert, I've noticed that too. People needed a unit of measure in-between the yard/meter and the mile/kilometer, and 'football field' it is.

Though 'London bus' sounds handy as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 09:03 AM

What the point of your rather aggressive-sounding first sentence, Nigel? I mean, the words 'the' & 'and' & 'preternatural' & 'antidisestablishmentarianism' much precede it too, but I daresay occur occasionally therein.

So what, precisely?

Puzzled as to your intent.

~M~

Still, as your tone appears inclined to some form of pedantry, I will take it on myself to point out that the only 'a' in 'Wikipedia' occurs at the end.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 10:07 AM

Sensitive, not me Doug. Actually I was being a little frivolous.

It seems though that with a few more posts we could have a new version of The Barley Mow here.

The Wales
Football Field
Tennis court
London Bus
Loaf of Bread
Millicat and a round bowl.


Keep em coming folks.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 10:09 AM

Of course we will have to be rather careful where we place The Landlady's Daughter is this sequence.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 10:15 AM

I reckon my weight should be measured in Crumpets. Just after Christmas, I weighed 12 Crumpets, but since then I've lost a Crumpet or two. I now weigh 10 Crumpets and 8 Cadbury's eggs.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 10:24 AM

Ah yes, the tennis court. I remember from my first aid courses back in the '70s or '80s that the surface area of the alveoli in the lungs was equivalent to that of a tennis court.

DC


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 10:42 AM

Wasn't there some nonsense somewhere about how many angels could fit onto the head of a pin? Pinhead has been used as a measurement, as has match-head. And a grain, for medications. And pea-sized. So maybe we could have a word for measuring tiny things like Pension Increases or the interest on savings, a word such as a Tiddle or a Smidge. ("Pensions will increase by 3 Tiddles in April")


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 11:01 AM

we haven't had the unit of the Elephant, which is worth (let me see - I am running out of fingers another US measure of whisky or should that be whiskey?) er um 200 crumpets (Indian) or 250 African.

The unit of the Jazz singing Elephant is (note correct use of apostrophes) ..............





the Elephants' Gerald


I'll get my coat


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 11:02 AM

The smallest adjustment that could be made, if I remember correctly, was a "gnat's dick"


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 11:04 AM

What is the conversion factor for baguettes to French bread? I've forgotten all this kinda stuff after learning SI.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: G-Force
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 11:33 AM

I could never get my head round decibels for measuring sound levels. I much prefer the 'melodeon' as a unit of sound intensity. If a session gets above about 4 melodeons, I'm out of there.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Musket
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 11:39 AM

I don't care what you count or how you count.

You'd still need twice as many cats.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 12:16 PM

The Fluffy is a measure of snow. One cubic foot of snow is a Fluffy. A Fluffy is made up of four Scuffies, each measured as one square foot of snow three inches deep. One third of a Fluffy is a Plough, each measured as one square foot of snow four inches deep. The sub measures Scuffy and Plough denote the point at which public snow removal begins and at which my back starts to ache. There are six Flurries in a Fluffy and the measure is obvious.

Two Fluffies is a Crap, three is a Turnip, four is an OFFS and five is a Ninetytwo. The last Ninetytwo I was lucky enough to witness was in 1992 and it was actually one Ninetytwo and a Flurry.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 12:26 PM

um... Hello?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 12:31 PM

An old US TV show made popular the concept "Is it bigger than a breadbox" (I think it was Kitty Kallen on "20 Questions")


and many guys know a version of an R.C.H. Many years ago, I knew a fellow who was calibrating an instrument to measure air pollution. He tweaked and muttered and finally said, "Hmmm... off by an R.C.H" Silly me... I asked.

Turns out, various hair colors are supposed to vary in basic thickness. Blond is finest, then (R)ed.... so... RCH. I'll leave you to fill in the 'C'.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 12:42 PM

Ebbie... knock knock?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bettynh
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 12:44 PM

The city of Boston and MIT have maintained the smoot as a unit of measurement, recognized now by Google. As a side comment, a partial smoot is "an ear."


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 01:01 PM

The smoot... love it! Ahhh, those wacky engineers! Always as much fun as a barrel of monkeys. Is there a standard monkey used to define how many monkeys are in a mbbl?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 01:05 PM

And we mustn't forget the "Times around the Earth" and the "to the Moon and back"


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Tangledwood
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 05:34 PM

Unit of volume, the Sydarb. Lake Argyle, in Western Australia, is 18 Sydarbs. That is, 18 times the volume of Sydney Harbour.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 05:36 PM

Before or after a rugby match?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 06:49 PM

Another unit that I heard used when I was an apprentice was 'a small nothing' and in context it actually made sense.

I had to take a sheet of metal to the shears with the instruction to cut a strip a 1/4 of an inch off one side tapering to nothing the other side. He said and make it a small nothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 07:21 PM

"What the point of your rather aggressive-sounding first sentence, Nigel?"

Nothing in any way "aggressive" about Nigel"s completely innocuous first sentence, M - which I wouldn't be sure would be equally true of that comment.

For pedants the quibble might be the basic unit. I'm not sure how many quibbles would add up to a quarrel.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 07:39 PM

Are not quibbles and quarrels equal without a factor of escalation?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 08:12 PM

In the US< many things are compared to "The Size of the Stat of Rhode Island." Bill Harley even wrote a song about this. You can hear a little of it here. http://www.billharley.com/Store_Level3.asp?ProductID=139&CategoryID=3#A
A variation on this is to say that something is the size of a certain number of Rhode Islands.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Joe_F
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 08:26 PM

One might also mention the millihelen (the amount of facial beauty required to launch one ship) & the microhelen (the amount required to arouse one sailor).


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 08:28 PM

Surely not, gnu. It takes quite a few quibbles to make a quarrel.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 18 Mar 14 - 03:37 AM

Isn't a 'quarrel' a crossbow bolt? So, too many quibbles and one could be in serious trouble!


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 06:45 AM

can anyone enlighten me as to the size in other units of the "vanishingly small"? or is it dimensionless? How many big bangs can you fit into a "vanishingly small"?


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 07:31 AM

Mr Red... my old man would say "Two fifths of five eighths of fuck all."


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 09:03 AM

How close is "close enough"?

DC


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 09:40 AM

"vanishingly small" is "zip point squat"


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: artbrooks
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 09:56 AM

The US also has "as big as Texas" - which is not quite as big as Alaska, but nobody ever says "as big as Alaska". Having driven half-way across Texas Sunday (about 500 miles) I can testify that it's damn big!


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 10:16 AM

'Nothing in any way "aggressive" about Nigel"s completely innocuous first sentence, M - which I wouldn't be sure would be equally true of that comment.'
.,,.
Well, if not exactly 'aggressive', Kevin, it was surely peculiarly otiose. By citing Wikipedia, I was clearly not calling on it as the primary authority chronologically; so what was the point of Nigel's pointing out that the usage under consideration was older than its being defined in Wikipedia? Of course it was ~~ & who had suggested otherwise? So why make the point at all? If not intended contentiously, how was it intended?

~M~


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 11:36 AM

I had a builder in last year. Talking cabbages and Kings, I happened to mention the high tolerances I designed into certain industrial products.

He said he wasn't into tolerances. His measuring was spot on every time

Quite


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 01:25 PM

Re RCH... I was a survey crew chief/instrumentman, among other duties, many moons ago. Standard repositioning measurement was a half a CH to the left/right. Required procedure on a first level traverse of many miles.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 02:00 PM

My old dad was a bit of an amateur engineer. He loved to show me how to make things, and he had a gadget that measured tiny gaps using a unit which he called a 'thou' (I suppose it meant a thousandth of an inch) I was only a little girl, and I remember being very puzzled in church singing, "Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer". It seemed as if God was not great, but rather tiny.


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Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 02:21 PM

The smallest adjustment that could be made, if I remember correctly, was a "gnat's dick"

"Gnat's cock" our end. Two gnat's cocks equal one nun's chuff.


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