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BS: Cooking mistakes.

Bert 14 Mar 13 - 05:15 AM
Megan L 14 Mar 13 - 05:46 AM
Doug Chadwick 14 Mar 13 - 05:48 AM
Mr Happy 14 Mar 13 - 06:37 AM
Sandra in Sydney 14 Mar 13 - 07:36 AM
Dave Hanson 14 Mar 13 - 10:40 AM
Bert 14 Mar 13 - 11:43 AM
GUEST,Rapparee without cookie 14 Mar 13 - 12:39 PM
Mr Happy 14 Mar 13 - 12:54 PM
GUEST,sciencegeek 14 Mar 13 - 01:06 PM
Mrrzy 14 Mar 13 - 02:12 PM
Bert 14 Mar 13 - 02:18 PM
Don Firth 14 Mar 13 - 02:54 PM
GUEST,LynnT 14 Mar 13 - 03:15 PM
Dave Hanson 14 Mar 13 - 03:45 PM
gnu 14 Mar 13 - 03:58 PM
GUEST,Bill D on an older browser 14 Mar 13 - 04:43 PM
Joe Offer 14 Mar 13 - 06:20 PM
Bill D 14 Mar 13 - 07:54 PM
ChanteyLass 15 Mar 13 - 12:45 AM
GUEST,BobL 15 Mar 13 - 04:18 AM
Sandra in Sydney 15 Mar 13 - 04:40 AM
Rumncoke 15 Mar 13 - 06:06 AM
EBarnacle 15 Mar 13 - 10:16 AM
Steve Shaw 15 Mar 13 - 12:16 PM
Dave Hanson 15 Mar 13 - 04:50 PM
McGrath of Harlow 15 Mar 13 - 05:30 PM
Bill D 15 Mar 13 - 05:34 PM
JennieG 15 Mar 13 - 08:50 PM
Doug Chadwick 16 Mar 13 - 04:03 AM
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Subject: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Bert
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 05:15 AM

Kind of a throw off from the Youth Hostel thread.

One time we were at High Roding Youth Hostel and we decided that we would make some rice pudding. So we took this little saucepan and put in half a pound of rice and covered it with milk. It soon absorbed all of the milk so we kept adding more. Very soon we had The Quatermass experiment on our hands. It took over all of the pots in the kitchen and we had enough to feed the whole hostel for a week.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Megan L
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 05:46 AM

My mother in law made a lovely dumpling so I asked for the recipe. Well her dumplings were always rather small they would fit in a cereal bowl so I doubled up the recipe. The only trouble with this grand idea I found out later was that she had been making it so long she mentally quartered the recipe whenever she made it.

It grew and it grew the water displaced
From soup pan to jam pan that dumpling was placed.
No knife in the house could tackle the beast
Dauvit suggested a saw the one he'd used least.

I'd hack of a bit in the oven to bake
Never seen Dauvit in so much fear of a cake.
I took it to neighbours it fed quite a few
And to each told the story how that dumpling grew.

At last to his mother we took a small plate
And asked why the dumpling had grown so great
I told her our trials as it boiled and bubbled
And how from her dumpling the amount I had doubled

She laughed and she laughed till she rolled on the floor
Then told me she baked that recipe divided in four
So friends take my advice when you admire someone's cake
Do check with them first just how much it will make


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 05:48 AM

The first time we went camping in Scotland we thought it would be appropriate to have porridge for breakfast. I followed the instructions on the packet of oats, not realising that the quantities were for four servings. As there were two of us, I doubled the amounts shown.

The result was successful and we had some very good porridge for breakfast …… but there was an awful lot left. Waste not, want not, we decided to leave the rest for later. When later came, we had a pan full of oat concrete. It was a toss-up between spending all morning trying to recover the pan or dropping the whole mess, pan and all, into the bin. But hey, it was a challenge. You can't let porridge beat you.

DC


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 06:37 AM

Years ago, when I was a young daft lad [as opposed to an elderly daft lad!] I was in the TA.

Out on excercise somewhere in the wilds of England, we were preparing breakfast from the tins of 'Compo' rations.

Rather than having paper labels on like the tins in shops, the Compo tins were labelled with contents printed directly on to the metal & it sometimes would rub off.

The tinned margarine sizzled in the pan & beans, sausage & tomatos added.

An unusual but palatable concoction ensued

The margarine transformed itself into Quavers & the tomatos tasted good but not tomatoey at all for the reason that what we'd thought was marge turned out to be processed cheese & the tomatos were apricots!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 07:36 AM

Sometime in the early 90s I was away on a meditation retreat in a boarding school.

First morning we all lined up with our brekkie bowl of oatmeal. I'd never used a microwave, so asked a friend how long to cook my serve, & pressed buttons for the time he said.

So there I was when the buzzer buzzzzzed with an overflowing dish & a messy oven, as he apologised for forgetting to tell me it needed to be stopped half way thru & stirred, so we had a line of hungry folks behind as HE cleaned it.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 10:40 AM

After a 12 hour shift, several pints whilst waiting for a mate in the pub, who didn't turn up, I went home and the decided to roast the chicken I had bought earlier so it would do cold for the weekend, I put the chicken in the oven, promptly fell asleep in front of the telly, woke up 5 hours later, the chicken was now as black as the ace of spades and about as big as my left fist.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Bert
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 11:43 AM

LOL Dave. My buddies did that once to a whole filet of beef. It was only for a couple of hours though and I was able to rescue it by cutting all the burnt crust off and making a meat pie with what was left.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: GUEST,Rapparee without cookie
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 12:39 PM

Always drain canned tuna, especially if it's packed in oil.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 12:54 PM

Tinned fish, already oily, why do they sell it packed in more oil??


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: GUEST,sciencegeek
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 01:06 PM

"Tinned fish, already oily, why do they sell it packed in more oil??"

A vacuum packed can/tin needs to exclude all air from the contents... so air is replaced with water, broth, juice or oil. So that 6 ounce can is actually the weight of the tuna AND the liquid combined.   

I prefer oil packed because I use the oil to add to the cat's dish or replace the salad oil if I make a green salad with tuna added.

The tuna packed in water is actually a broth that has plenty of other added ingredients that some folks I know are allergic to.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 02:12 PM

No, drink the oil, it's good for you. So they tell us now.

Exploding potatoes trying to bake them but forgetting to stick holes in the skin first... not only is it a huge bang but them you have burning bits of tater all over your oven.

Forgetting to put a pan under roasting duck and absolutely filling the hot oven with grease, which caught fire, of course, AND poured out of the oven flaming all over the floor. I remember going to the living room and sending the twins, who were quite small at the time, outside before even TRYING to fight that one.

Being in West Africa with a gas stove malfunctioning and a worker who used a lit match to see inside... that was a bigger bang than the potatoes, and I think it caused my mom's friend to teleport out of the kitchen. At any rate, she was farthest from the door yet the first one out without going past any of the rest of us, Mom, worker and me.

One of my sister once filled another's silverware drawer with bacon grease without realizing it...


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Bert
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 02:18 PM

Then there was the time we did the Cajun turkey on the stove. Lots of lovely flames.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Don Firth
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 02:54 PM

This is why my culinary skills extend only as far as the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I often wind up with peanut butter on the ceiling and jelly dripping off my elbows, but. . . .

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: GUEST,LynnT
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 03:15 PM

In college, a friend and I cooked up a big pan of chicken and veggies with a red wine that turned out to be one step shy of vinegar. I knew that vinegar was acidic, so what did I have that was alkaline to rebalance the dish? I added a good dose of baking soda -- without testing the idea in a glass of the wine first. Well, the whole thing fizzed up something wonderful, and left a residue of black gritty carbon particles behind. Ruined several night's worth of dinner!


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 03:45 PM

Sounds like a good meat pie Bert, too rich for me.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 03:58 PM

I fell asleep after supper after removing 7 large poplars complete with large taproots one Saturday. Wanted a snack when I woke up. Popcorn. Got the hot air popper out and loaded it... with split peas. The stink when they burn.

I was about 13. My job to have supper on the table when my parents got home from work. Decided... surprise! Johnny Cake (corn bread, pone) with sausages and molasses. Smelled heavenly. Dad took a bite and screwed up his face and said (Irish temper) "What the fuck is that?!" Me mum's recipe said baking powder... NOT baking soda. Me old man cooked pancakes and didn't say very much whilst at it after mum took a strip off him. Although he did say quietly to me, "If you ever touch my pancake iron, I'll use it on you."


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: GUEST,Bill D on an older browser
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 04:43 PM

55 years ago I learned the difference between a bud of garlic and a clove of garlic when making turkey dressing.

3 people with tweezers working for 30 min. made it 'mostly' edible.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 06:20 PM

My wife loves chard. In her case, however, it's often "charred." She steams it in a quarter-inch of water in a shallow frying pan or saucepan....and then she forgets it and does something else until all the water evaporates and strange odors start coming from the stove. Twice, she has completely melted the pans she was using to cook chard. I had no idea a saucepan could melt so completely on the stove, leaving just a frozen puddle of aluminum (or whatever).

Me? I try to stay out of her way when she's cooking. She admits I'm the better cook.

-Joe-


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Mar 13 - 07:54 PM

Joe... we are both married to women who seem to have something going on at all times. If they leave the stove and get slightly distracted, stuff suffers. I must admit, *I* am getting to where having the computer room right near the kitchen is not exactly always a benefit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 12:45 AM

If a recipe says to drain and press tofu, then drain and press it! I gave a friend a recipe for a tofu loaf based on my mom's meatloaf recipe so he could make it for friends who were vegetarians. He said it was a soggy mess but tasted okay (thank goodness!) Then he admitted he hadn't drained and pressed the tofu. (No, I'm not a full-time vegetarian.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: GUEST,BobL
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 04:18 AM

Many years ago a lady friend sent me to buy trifle sponges - I got chocolate ones by mistake and was accused of trying to sabotage her cooking...

However, many years later, when Rowntree's brought out a Black Cherry flavour jelly, memories of the mistake sparked off some ideas - tinned cherries, whipped cream and kirsch were also involved. That flavour is no longer obtainable, so I now use red grape juice + gelatine. It's become one of my signature recipes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 04:40 AM

speaking of burnt offerings - sometime after I left my family home, armed with very little cooking info, & the famous school textbook, the Commonsense Cookbook, I was boiling some water & sugar for 5 mins as directed to make a syrup.

But nothing said to stay with the pan & keep stirring, so I was summoned into the kitchen by thick black smoke. I had to open all doors & windows!

My little aluminium saucepan had a very interesting layer of burnt black stuff that looked like coke or clinker residue from a fire.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Rumncoke
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 06:06 AM

My godmother (now in her 80s) decided to make a rice pudding in the new pressure cooker, a wedding present.

Wanting to impress her new husband she poured in the rice, added a pint of milk and a pint of water, and set it to heat up.

The expanding rice pushed off the weight and began to shoot grains of rice at the ceiling - they were living in a prefab, the little houses built just after the last war.

She grabbed it off the heat, but the rice continued to shoot out. She took it to the table and then the sink and when it finally stopped she tried to brush the ceiling clean, but the glutinous grains spread out rather than fell off and when they dried they were welded to the plaster. They were painted over for many years but the pebble-dash effect was still there when the prefabs were demolished, and she never did live it down. Only by outliving all her sisters has she escaped being reminded of the incident.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: EBarnacle
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 10:16 AM

Don't use aluminum for anything which comes in contact with food or water. Aluminum is known to help cause osteoporosis when ingested regularly in enven micro amounts. It is also associated with Alzheimer's.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 12:16 PM

55 years ago I learned the difference between a bud of garlic and a clove of garlic when making turkey dressing.

Heheh. Garlic and turkey. When the missus was in hospital having our first (in the days they kept you in for 10 days), I was stuck with the whole 13lb Christmas turkey at home on my own (the hospital food was so terrible that I did smuggle significant quantities past the matron). Desperate for any variations on cold turkey I could muster, I looked at a turkey curry recipe in a cookery book. I duly prepared the aforementioned curry and it was delicious, pretty good for a novice cook, I thought. The missus did not agree. For the next three hospital visits she wouldn't let me anywhere near her. Garlic was oozing from my every pore. I'd thought that what the cookery book required, a garlic clove, had meant the whole head of garlic. I couldn't imagine how something as tiny as one of those segments could be anywhere near enough to add anything, so I peeled and used every clove. If I ever get stranded alone on a desert island I'd definitely make it again. Scrumptious!


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 04:50 PM

There is no such thing as ' too much garlic '

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 05:30 PM

Precooked porridgw might look like "oat concrete", but it's perfectly edible. Just add a little water or milk and break itb up and boil it on the stove andit soon revives.

My father always used to make it the night before to revive early in the morning before he was off to work in Fords.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 05:34 PM

The garlic flavor, once the excess chunks were removed, was not bad. It did overwhelm some of the other ingredients, but we survived. (The recipe was for "Thompson's Turkey" (google it) which I have made many times since, with only a few tweaks) It was really excessive to have about 20 times the suggested garlic.

I don't care to bite into large chunks of garlic or onion, so I tend to mince them quite fine when their flavor is called for.

I was only about 21 at the time, and cooking was a matter of reading and praying hoping.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Mar 13 - 08:50 PM

Oh yes, I've had a few......including a brush with the dreaded pressure cooker. My heavens it made a loud noise, and it was amazing how those big pieces of meat came out of that tiny little hole! I was three months pregnant at the time, it's a wonder the baby and I lived to tell the tale.......but we did, and he turns 37 next week.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cooking mistakes.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 16 Mar 13 - 04:03 AM

Precooked porridgw might look like "oat concrete", but it's perfectly edible. Just add a little water or milk and break itb up and boil it on the stove andit soon revives.

My father always used to make it the night before to revive early in the morning before he was off to work in Fords.



Looks like I made my second cooking mistake by getting rid of it then.

The time it took to hack it out of the pan, I'm surprised that there's anything to be gained by preparing it the night before. I would have thought that reviving it would take at least as long as starting afresh.


DC


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