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Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?

Related thread:
BS: Tom Swifties anyone? (28)


Mr Happy 22 Jun 12 - 05:26 AM
Mr Happy 26 Apr 12 - 06:30 AM
Mr Happy 25 Apr 12 - 03:47 AM
Mr Happy 13 Apr 12 - 06:29 AM
Paul Burke 03 Apr 12 - 01:26 PM
Mr Happy 03 Apr 12 - 04:58 AM
Genie 03 Apr 12 - 12:49 AM
meself 02 Apr 12 - 09:54 AM
GUEST,Paul Burke 01 Apr 12 - 11:01 AM
meself 01 Apr 12 - 09:21 AM
Mr Happy 01 Apr 12 - 07:45 AM
Dave Hanson 31 Mar 12 - 11:48 AM
meself 31 Mar 12 - 10:30 AM
Paul Burke 30 Mar 12 - 03:57 PM
Paul Burke 30 Mar 12 - 03:27 PM
meself 29 Mar 12 - 06:44 PM
Michael 29 Mar 12 - 02:37 PM
Mr Happy 29 Mar 12 - 11:33 AM
Michael 29 Mar 12 - 06:59 AM
Mr Happy 29 Mar 12 - 05:52 AM
meself 28 Mar 12 - 10:17 AM
Mr Happy 28 Mar 12 - 04:27 AM
meself 28 Mar 12 - 12:57 AM
meself 28 Mar 12 - 12:52 AM
Genie 27 Mar 12 - 10:30 PM
Genie 27 Mar 12 - 10:27 PM
Mr Happy 27 Mar 12 - 10:38 AM
Mr Happy 27 Mar 12 - 10:26 AM
meself 27 Mar 12 - 09:53 AM
GUEST 27 Mar 12 - 09:13 AM
Paul Burke 26 Mar 12 - 03:08 PM
Mr Happy 26 Mar 12 - 08:26 AM
Michael 26 Mar 12 - 08:00 AM
Rapparee 25 Mar 12 - 09:44 PM
meself 25 Mar 12 - 02:43 PM
Mr Happy 25 Mar 12 - 11:46 AM
meself 24 Mar 12 - 10:12 AM
meself 23 Mar 12 - 11:02 AM
Michael 23 Mar 12 - 07:26 AM
Mr Happy 22 Mar 12 - 12:29 PM
meself 22 Mar 12 - 11:51 AM
Mr Happy 22 Mar 12 - 08:40 AM
Michael 22 Mar 12 - 08:23 AM
Genie 22 Mar 12 - 04:21 AM
Mr Happy 21 Mar 12 - 11:00 AM
Genie 20 Mar 12 - 06:47 PM
Genie 20 Mar 12 - 05:01 PM
Michael 20 Mar 12 - 01:42 PM
Michael 20 Mar 12 - 01:33 PM
Mr Happy 20 Mar 12 - 11:43 AM
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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 05:26 AM

Do you take sugar? She asked sweetly

The boat's leaking, he said balefully

Can I have a glass of soda? he asked caustically


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Apr 12 - 06:30 AM

I'm abroad at the moment, Tom said outlandishly

My shoes are leaking, he said solelessly

I haven't got Delerium Tremens, he said shaking his head


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Apr 12 - 03:47 AM

I'll just have a single malt, Tom said onerously

Bring me some shellfish, he demanded clamourously

I swear to tell the truth, he said cursively


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Apr 12 - 06:29 AM

I never rely on first impressions, he said unassumingly


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 01:26 PM

"I've made myself a jet plane from some old junk I bought from NASA" said Tom apologetically. "By 'eck, I bet it's fast!" responded Mary expediently. "By 'eck, it doesn't move at all" replied Tom ecstatically.

"We're near where I left my ice pick last time we climbed this way" said Mary, coming to a climax, "It's on that shelf jutting out from the cliff" she alleged.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 04:58 AM

This up & down drilling is really tedious, said Dave H Boringly


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 12:49 AM

"We both have advanced degrees.   Linda's a DDS and I'm an MD," declared Terry paradoxically.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 09:54 AM

"I don't think so," said Tricky Dick, nixing that idea.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 11:01 AM

"I've never been a Soviet agent!" hissed Alger, uninspiringly. "I think you were, and I'll do my damndest to get you executed!" replied Nixon spikily.

"The little devil's got lots of money" Tom imploded. "I earned it fairly on the stage" the devil replied, impacted.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 09:21 AM

"I am the new model for your art class," he said imposingly.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 07:45 AM

The bar's open 'til all hours, so we can drink, fornicate, slap & tickle through the night, Tom said scintillatingly


The water's flowing all over the place, he said meanderingly

I've picked a large bag of cotton bolls, he said balefully


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 31 Mar 12 - 11:48 AM

Boring.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 31 Mar 12 - 10:30 AM

"Those two prostitutes are women of unstained virtue," he said paradoxically.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 03:57 PM

"No, 'Et tu, Brutus' is wrong- Caesar was addressing Brutus, so it should be 'Et tu, Brute' with an E on the end" said Tom, evocatively.

"Mistletoe and Wine... Bachelor Boy... Summer Holiday... Living Doll? He deserves to die!" said Tom, cliffhanging.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 03:27 PM

"I'm into Arts and Crafts at home" said Mary luminously, "I weave with wool I find on thorns and barbed wire" she continued, woolgathering.

"Have I mentioned Dai Jones, Dai Evans and Dai Williams?" asked Tom, three- dimensionally.

"Are yew teautally med?" he asked deftly.

"Are you sure he's not married to another woman?" demanded Iona stonily.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 29 Mar 12 - 06:44 PM

"You need to pull yourself together," he advised Toulouse.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 29 Mar 12 - 02:37 PM

"Was it closed, or was the door just jammed?" Opinion was divided at times.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 29 Mar 12 - 11:33 AM

I've broken my oar, he said robustly

It caught on a cable, he said crabbily

The takeaway was closed, Tom said nonplussed


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 29 Mar 12 - 06:59 AM

"I'm not a virgin any more!" Said Tom with chagrin.

"Then I hope you did it correctly", replied an upright citizen.

"Of course I did", responded Tom rather prickly.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 29 Mar 12 - 05:52 AM

I went nude sunbathing, now I've got a brown willie & balls, he said tangenitally

My little friend lives inside this old lamp & grants wishes, said Aladdin genially


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 28 Mar 12 - 10:17 AM

"I love fishing," said Tom, angling for an invitation.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 28 Mar 12 - 04:27 AM

We're having a secret foxhunt, he whispered covertly, and afterwards we'll be fishing, he said with bated breath, near Walton on the Naze.

I do hope everything in my tacklebox is there, said Isaac as he compleated his statement


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 28 Mar 12 - 12:57 AM

"Some day, we may have a female pope - Pope Catherine," he pontificated.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 28 Mar 12 - 12:52 AM

"I adore your doe-like eyes," he fawned.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 10:30 PM

"This bouquet of roses and lilacs is lovely, but I wish it had some shastas in it too," said Monica with a lackadaisical air.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 10:27 PM

"That ale's so strong I'm seeing fairies dancing!" cried Seamus, pixillated.


"I can't keep these short internet messages from running around by brain," Ashley exclaimed, twitterpated.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 10:38 AM

Sandy! Surely not, cried Julian hornily


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 10:26 AM

Garcon, I've waited ages, could you bring my drink please?
He requested whiningly


Can you spare me one of those trout you caught?
No, I'll get a good price in the market Tom said selfishly

Jeeves! Brush the yard, there's a good fellow,
said Bertie in a sweeping statement


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 09:53 AM

"Sandy?" he asked through gritted teeth.


"That Chicago bluesman's real name was Morgan McKinleyfield," he said, further muddying the waters.

"He was no Blind Lemon Jefferson," she replied sourly.


"We could build wall," he said constructively.

"Whoops! I just knocked out his teeth with this chopping implement," he said accidentally.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 09:13 AM

hi
Michael Brandt? Are you originally from edinburgh? Craigmount high school?
If so its Sandy (Robert Sandison) here!


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 03:08 PM

"The bottom is just soft silt, there's nothing for the flukes to hold on" said Tom cantankerously. "And the sailors can't make up their minds what to do" he continued crucially.

"The cook has come up with some awful hard biscuit" he complained tackily "And it's full of weevils" he continued grubbily. "The sailors don't seem to take any notice of these huge waves" we went on, just as well.

"My jacket is made of real donkey skin" he said in an aside. "It's pickled in brine" he continued, assaulted. "Anyway, I'm going below decks- it's this way" he said companionably.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 08:26 AM

I can't get no satisfaction, sang Mick jaggedly

Doctor, my face is all blotchy!
Looks like acne, said the physician rashly

I'm not feeling myself, Tom said uncharacteristically


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 08:00 AM

"I get my pleasures from hearing confessions", said Tom vicariously.

"I live a frugal life", said the priest parsimoniously.

"The Bishop laid his hands in me", the child confirmed.

"I can't help being loud!" Roared the Cannon.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 09:44 PM

"It hasn't rained for months," Tom said drily.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 02:43 PM

"That miserable dog is covered in wet dirt," he said in a curmudgeonly tone.

"Ever play Tom what?" he hurriedly replied.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Mar 12 - 11:46 AM

I ain't got nobody, sang the decapitated head


There's no rationale to this rationing, he said irrationally

I think it's a great tit! The ornithologist Tweeted


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 10:12 AM

"Let's waltz away from the crowd in the middle; I'd rather not get into the reasons," she said, dancing around the issue.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 11:02 AM

"So I said to myself, These number just don't add up," he recounted.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 07:26 AM

"The Large Hadron Collider doesn't actually exist you know", said Tom concerned.

"O'er the hills and o'er the main..., sang Tom slightly sharp.

"I've decided not to be homosexual any more", said Tom with gay abandon.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 12:29 PM

I can't find my cloak of invisibility, he exclaimed transparently

It's a long way to Tipperary, Tom said distantly

Willie no come back again? Said the returning officer


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: meself
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 11:51 AM

"We'll still be in the strip club at closing time," he said titillatingly.

"Hey, I've just made up a limerick!" Edward leered.

"No, thank you; I can carry this piece of the clothesline apparatus by myself," he said politely.

"There's no point in arriving on time," he said belatedly.

"You could use your bayonet - like this!" he pointed out.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 08:40 AM

Oh, Liverpool Lou, lovely Liverpool Lou, Tom sang lavishly

Oh no, the spare wheel's missing from the boot, Tom said tirelessly

Will you return the lorry you borrowed? he said truculently


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 08:23 AM

"Tha'mun have a key to th' hut, Milady" said the gamekeeper chattily.

"I will destroy" The Doctor", said the Time Lord masterfully.

"And over you I'll build a bridge", he sang archly.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 04:21 AM

"Is that a Siamese? It looks more like an Egyptian Mau," the show judge commented cattily.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 11:00 AM

Step ye gaily, on we go, sang Tom homosexually

You can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk, he scribbled

I was really cut up when the canal boat sank, he said narrowly

I was really upset when the narrow boat sank, he said cut to the quick


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 06:47 PM

The garage band's rendition of "Ripple" was a dead ringer for the original.

"I refuse to cover any of Mr. Boone's vapid pop songs," the rocker insisted, standing pat.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 05:01 PM

"You need to press these pants again to make the folds neat," he insisted, replete.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 01:42 PM

"When you wake you will believe you are Auden" he said transversely.

"When you wake up you will believe you are my father", lied Tom transparently.

"And when you wake up you will believe you are a statue", Tom transposed.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 01:33 PM

"GUEST was me, somebody ate my cookie", I added Nicely.


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Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:43 AM

300!He said, tricentennially


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Mudcat time: 7 August 6:09 PM EDT

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