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What is the worst song you ever heard?

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Little Neophyte 07 Oct 99 - 05:46 PM
Peter T. 07 Oct 99 - 04:47 PM
paddymac 07 Oct 99 - 04:27 PM
Little Neophyte 07 Oct 99 - 07:00 AM
Steve Parkes 07 Oct 99 - 03:27 AM
Owlkat 07 Oct 99 - 01:49 AM
McMusic 06 Oct 99 - 09:03 PM
Bill D 06 Oct 99 - 01:23 PM
Jon W. 05 Oct 99 - 12:08 PM
Marki 04 Oct 99 - 06:38 PM
Lonesome EJ 04 Oct 99 - 05:40 PM
Ely 04 Oct 99 - 01:29 PM
Dan Evergreen 04 Oct 99 - 11:28 AM
Steve Parkes 04 Oct 99 - 07:37 AM
Rick Fielding 04 Oct 99 - 12:36 AM
Ferret 03 Oct 99 - 09:28 PM
Michael K. 03 Oct 99 - 08:50 PM
Harry Hayfield 03 Oct 99 - 05:46 PM
Hambone 03 Oct 99 - 05:36 PM
Doctor John 03 Oct 99 - 04:37 PM
Ferret 03 Oct 99 - 03:15 PM
Jeri 03 Oct 99 - 02:48 PM
catspaw49 03 Oct 99 - 02:05 AM
Lonesome EJ 03 Oct 99 - 01:15 AM
Jeri 02 Oct 99 - 11:12 PM
catspaw49 02 Oct 99 - 10:01 PM
Jack 02 Oct 99 - 09:16 PM
sophocleese 02 Oct 99 - 04:11 PM
Muskrat Susie 02 Oct 99 - 03:06 PM
The Cisco Kid 02 Oct 99 - 01:50 PM
Peter T. 02 Oct 99 - 11:44 AM
AnnaMora 02 Oct 99 - 10:28 AM
Frank Hamilton 01 Oct 99 - 06:27 PM
clj 01 Oct 99 - 06:23 PM
Jon W. 01 Oct 99 - 06:16 PM
Bill D 01 Oct 99 - 05:48 PM
lamarca 01 Oct 99 - 04:58 PM
Jeri 01 Oct 99 - 04:57 PM
MAG (inactive) 01 Oct 99 - 04:46 PM
Peter T. 01 Oct 99 - 04:36 PM
Lonesome EJ 01 Oct 99 - 03:46 PM
emily rain 01 Oct 99 - 03:34 PM
Cara 01 Oct 99 - 02:55 PM
Den 01 Oct 99 - 02:33 PM
Steve Latimer 01 Oct 99 - 02:22 PM
Cara 01 Oct 99 - 02:13 PM
Jon Freeman 01 Oct 99 - 02:01 PM
Allan C. 01 Oct 99 - 01:44 PM
Doctor John 01 Oct 99 - 01:03 PM
MAG (inactive) 01 Oct 99 - 12:59 PM
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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 05:46 PM

Little neophyte outgrew her baby shoes. Thanks Peter T, I believe clinical psychology would have a hay day with me. I think I'm experiencing musician growing pains. Growth spurts on the learning curb where I lose interest in what I created because I sense I could do so much more. WOS


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 04:47 PM

Little Neo, I think it is called post-partum depression. When you are creating something you think for a while that it is the best thing ever, but then the ardour cools and you feel that it no longer carries the aura of creation (And therefore the grand solution to all things) around with it. Psychologists have a field day with this depressive position (relating it to greed and certain bodily functions).....I am not making this up.
Steve, concerning the Unicorn Song, I believe that there are these two songs, one of which is the Irish Rover's Noah and the Ark song, and the other is something Peter, Paul, and Mary sing about having a unicorn as a best friend. I recall some Mudcatter complaining about having to sing the Unicorn Song, and it sounded like it was the latter, not the former. I have never heard the latter, so it might be terrific.
I still think "Having My Baby" has the highest position for me on the Vomitometer, but what of "Wind Beneath My Wings"? Can this be beaten for sheer narcissism disguised as compliment?
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: paddymac
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 04:27 PM

There's a vein in american "country" music that offers a veritable cornucopia of klunkers, some so bad that they are actually hillarious. Two of the "standouts" are "I would'a wrote ya a letter, but couldn't spell yechhhhhh" and (my personal nominee for all-time second-worst song) "Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life". The top spot is reserved for "It's a small world after all".


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 07:00 AM

My own I hope someone reads this, maybe Catspaw cause the cat seems to read EVERTHING. But it is really a question. Why is it, not long after I create what I feel is a beautiful piece of music, I start disliking it? Do other people have those feelings? Is it my high expectations on my work? I find it sad, because I never really relax and enjoy my creations. Little Neo


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 03:27 AM

I don't mind lyrics being a bit silly; they're not supposed to be poetry, after all (at least not in popular songs). What really gets up my nose is inexcusably bad grammar, such as "The clouds roll by/For you and I": they might roll by for you. mate, but they certainly don't roll by for I!

Actually, I should take the wind out of my own sails by admitting that I sing "before that you'll marry I" in Blackwaterside, but that's a trad. song and doesn't count!

Steve


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Owlkat
Date: 07 Oct 99 - 01:49 AM

Hi again. I can't believe that you've left this song out of your lists. This is surely one of the most despicable abuses of the songwriters art. It's so mind-bogglingly evil. These are the only words I can remember. Sort of.

"The Ballad of The Green Berets"

...thirteen men(?) test today, but only three(?) wear the green beret!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: McMusic
Date: 06 Oct 99 - 09:03 PM

Don't know if anyone mentioned these or not (such a long thread; so little time): "Honey" a putrid tearjerker from the 60's, sung by Bobby Goldsboro, and the song sung by that awful, damned purple dinosauer--"I love you; you love me....).


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Oct 99 - 01:23 PM

me, I'm lucky...'cause a lot of the 'worst' songs mentioned are pop/rock/SSW stuff(along with some "country")....and ever since I heard Snooky Lanson try to sing "Rock Around the Clock" on 'Your Hit Parade' in about 1955, I realized that the coming trend in pop music was not for me...I barely listened to anything for several years..then in the early 60's, the 'folk scare' hit...but I missed 'most' of the pop-folk stuff even then..I knew who Joan Baez and the Limelighters were, but simply did not go out of my way to find them. I got into a folk group who were doing a lot of trad stuff, and saw the Beers Family, Pete Seeger, aabd The New Lost City Ramblers, and found Richard Dyer-Bennet and Jean Redpath in the library..(and Burl Ives for some things)...and away we went!

So...I simply was not LISTENING to the pop-crud..(yeah, sure, I missed a few good things...but...)...now I have over 500 records...400+ of which I really like, and LOTS of tapes, songbooks, etc...enough for a lifetime+ without EVER hearing MacArthur Park..(wouldn't know it if it bit me on the butt!)

Is this snobbery & eliteism? *shrug*..maybe..*grin*..I do have fun, though


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jon W.
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 12:08 PM

"Roxanne" was by The Police (featuring Sting on bass and vocals) who otherwise put out some really fun songs. It's just that "Roxanne" is the worst they ever did (except for possibly the remix of "Don't Stand So Close-1985") and why is it that the radio stations play it so much?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Marki
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 06:38 PM

The worst song ever recorded, in my opinion, is that truly annoying piece of garbage called "Roxanne" by some group that I'm really glad I don't remember their name. ANd to think radio stations actually play that. Go figure....


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 05:40 PM

Let's see... What Condition my Condition was in..Kenny Rodgers affecting a psychedelic personna with the First Edition. Only remember bits n pieces:

"I saw myself crawlin' out, as I was crawlin' in
Eight miles out of Memphis and I've got no cares
Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere
I just dropped in
to see what condition my condition was in Yeah yeah oh yeah - what condition my condition was in"

and " somebody took electric sign(?)
and painted black letters on a dead-end street"

That's about it. Kenny would probably prefer that all of us forgot the lyrics.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Ely
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:29 PM

Agreed with most of what's been posted (MacArthur Park, It's a Small World, Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town, etc). I tend to have a problem with Christmas songs, especially pop-style ones--I've always hated "Frosty the Snowman" with a passion, and the line in "Jolly Old St Nicholas" about 'as for me, my little brain isn't very bright/bring to me, O Santa Claus, what you think is right' makes me cringe. I'm always irked by songs whose meanings are so obvious you wonder that somebody actually took the effort to turn them into rhyme and verse. Stuff like "Morning Dew" (the one about nuclear fallout, recorded by Bonnie Dobson in the 60's). And, although in general I'm willing to let late-Dylan surrealism go, I've never been able to stand "Farewell, Angelina".


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Dan Evergreen
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:28 AM

"Look at Them Beans." Johnny Cash; "That's My Job." Conway Twitty; "Honey." Whats-his-face; "Slow Hand." Conway Twitty; "Look at Them Beans." Johnny Cash. (I think I'm going to tho' up.)


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 07:37 AM

I'm really lucky. I didn't realise how lucky until I read this thread and found there are several songs I've never heard (because I have heard the rest). Is the unicorn song the one that goes "... green alligators and long-neck geese, humpty-backed camels and chimpanzees, cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born ..."? PLease say it is, because if it isn't, there's another one!!

I know why van Gogh cut off his ear and shot himself: he had Mynheer's (sp?) disease. Anyone got a rhyme for that?

The worst song, give or take a few, I've heard was on an album of "country" songs in the late sixties: "There's a star-spangled heaven for every soldier boy/Who fights to keep our country clean and free", relating the wisdom of the Padre (pass the Lord and praise the ammunition!) to his young charges.

When we were celebrating the end of WWII a while back, we found some gems and some, er, others. One was called "The Wop [sorry] and the Jap and the Hun", and was other wise not bad under the circumstances. I asked Dave Sealy of Cosmotheka if he'd come across it while researching their WWII songs series for BBC Radio 2, and he told me the worst one he'd found was one called Belsen Bill: I never asked further, and I don't want to know.

This thread could run and run.

Steve


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 12:36 AM

God, I've tried to stay out of this. One person's awful song is another's childhood favourite. One of the things I used to do to while away the hours while playing in bars was to ask folks to name their least favourite song and then sing and play it in a totally unrelated style. "The Unicorn" done like Bob Marley, would be an example. Inevitably someone's feelings would be hurt that a whole room of people were making fun of their favourite song, and being the wimp I am I'd feel bad. Gotta say though that in the (very loose) folk vein "Eve of Destruction" is one notch lower than "In the Year 2525" by Zager and Evans. I never sang either of those turkeys but I sure got asked for them a lot. An ethical question of the day (when I was footloose and single) might have been "If an absolutely gorgeous woman asked you to sing "Eve Of Destruction" and then asked you back to her place, would you go?" NO! I got standards!

Hi Seed, I hate to tell you that I go back far enough to remember that it wasn't the Everlys who sang "When", it was the Kalen Twins.

Rick


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Ferret
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 09:28 PM

it over here Michaec. ferret


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Michael K.
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 08:50 PM

This is a very tough question for me as I've heard so many things butchered.

My job is corporate special event planning. Included in this job, is recommending talent to a client for an event (including music, bands) and other various forms of entertainment. (Prior to this I was a professional musician for almost 18 years, so I know a little bit about music.)

I get a lot of bands, musicans, instrumentalists and vocalists bombarding me with ''demo'' tapes, on a weekly basis (and you wonder why so many A&R guys at record companies are on drugs?) (Not me, though I've contemplated it after listening to certain demos.)

There are some things I receive that are so bad, they sometimes make me laugh out loud, others depress me because somewhere, some parents have told some daughters or sons (reinforced by their non-musician friends)for many years, that they really have talent. And of course in reality, they don't and wouldn't recognize it if it bit them on the ass. Some could play and sing their repertoire and make a very good living as comedians, but as musicians. Notta.

There is a female singer that Rick Fielding and I know of, (and we will keep her name out of this public forum) that performs at pay-what-can-at-door coffee houses. This is a fairly attractive looking woman, who writes original tunes and accompanys herself on the guitar. She has also released some CDs. I met her at an event I was doing awhile back, as she was the girlfriend of one of the guests in attendance and her boyfriend came over to me (after finding out I was the agent-boy) and starting extolling the talents of this lovely creature...so under the circumstances I asked her to send me a demo, and the CD and promo package arrived a few days later. Very nice professional looking package. (Ironically some of the worst material I've heard comes in the most professional looking packaging. Why is that?!) I throw on the CD, and after several minutes, I detect droplets of blood dripping out of my ears and the after shock left me with a severely puckered sphincter muscle which I was able to alieviate only by throwing on Taj Mahals ''Senior Blues'' CD.

Her tunes had no hooks to them; they're like endless verses without choruses (hmmm...really early Dylan?), and the voice, is raspy, out-of-tune and the sound of someone scraping their fingernails on a blackboard would be preferable. I got thru the album (listening to about 30 seconds of each cut) and then threw it in the garbage figuring the CD was homesick anyway.

Just one of many many anecdotes I could share with you all....All in all though, I would say the worst thing I've ever heard (sent to me) (and no offense to anybody here on the 'Cat) was an obviously carioke musical background of Morris Alpert's tune ''Feelings", sung completely out of key, AND out of time, by a woman with a very thick East Indian accent. I seriously considered sending this tune to the producers of ''The Simpsons'' for soundtrack use for one of the shows. There, it would have been a perfect fit.

......now where's that joint?!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Harry Hayfield
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 05:46 PM

Could be one of three

Doop by Doop Mr. Blobby by Me. Blobby Agadoo by Black Lace


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Hambone
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 05:36 PM

My first choice was "Teddy Bear" but a close second is Joan Baez singing "The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down". The Nah,na, naaaas, WON'T GO AWAY. For tose of you who love this song, I wish you many Na,na,na, na. na, naaaaas


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Doctor John
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 04:37 PM

Frank, I agree that "Puff" is a snowbird song all right (it couldn't be an accident surely) but it was sung here by a real clean looking living couple and was certainly aimed at children. Perhaps they didn't know what they were singing about; I certainly didn't at the time. There's a tendency in the UK for very anti-establishment figures after a few years to become fawning estabishment versions of their former self (eg David Frost, sorry Sir ...). The Beatles recorded "Strawberry Fields" and "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" but now, 4 OBE's and 1 knighthood later it's "nothing to do with drugs; based on ditties the kids made up..." Was that a pig that flew by? The Guardian did a similar poll and the worst came to be "Shifting Wispering Sands" by Eamon Andrews in the 50's. Yes it is pretty awful. Then Terry Wogan recorded "The Floral Dance". Grim. Is there a tendency for media Irishmen to produce dreadful records. Get to the recording studios Henry Kelly , it's your turn! Dr John


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Ferret
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 03:15 PM

I can not stand 'The birdy song' is gust AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRR The ferret has gone to liedown in a dark room now. ferret


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 02:48 PM

I could never take "Third Rate Romance" (low rent rendevous) seriously enough to think it was a bad song. I can't take "Lucille" that seriously either. OH!!! But didn't that remind me of Kenny Rogers' pre-country hit with the First Edition. Something about "the condition my condition is in." Anyone know the lyrics?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 02:05 AM

Gee Leej, I've always had you figured for a guy who'd leave the cake out in the rain and I'm glad to see you're honest about it.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 01:15 AM

Hey Jack, by Romance Rendezvous did you mean Third Rate Romance? I hope not, because that's on my top ten list of songs that I am ashamed of, but just can't help, liking. Also on my list are Brandy (You're a fine girl),MacArthur Park,Boston's More Than a Feeling , Barry Manilow's Weekend in New England , Good Morning Starshine , and Whoa-oh Black Betty, Wham-a-lam. I don't know you guys well enough to confide the other three.

Also, I think Willin' is a great song.

LEJ


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:12 PM

I actually like "Willin'," but what that "and if you give me weed, whites and wine" part means you shouldn't get within five miles of that guy.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:01 PM

This just gets better and better......or worse and worse!!!

In many cases I agree and I gotta' say that you are all to be commended for these rare gems.....after which you can all go to hell for planting these ditties again in my head. Now back up the thread, I opted for the worst/most ridiculous single line as the cake nonsense in "MacArthur Park" and I'll still go with it...But how about a "Worst Class" of songs, a class where damn near everything just really bites? Personally, I'll suggest "Truck Driver Songs" of the Red Sovine variety. Even the best of them are basically bad. I'm not talking CW here, just the trucker songs. Perhaps the best, "Six Days on the Road and I'm Gonna' Make It Home Tonight" still bites and has questionable lyrics as Seed would say.

"My rig is old, but that don't mean she's slow"----Means it probably breaks down a lot and you're not in much demand because of your time record.

"And the smoke is rolling black as coal"----Means your Injection Pump needs set-up at the very least and you can't make a dime 'cause your mileage stinks. At the worst, you're about to get a new Silver 92 installed.

Just a thought gang.............and emily dear, try WEST System Epoxy and a safety screw through your navel.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jack
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 09:16 PM

Hey! I happen to LIKE achy breaky heart, Teddy Bear, I love a rainy night and oh Lord, it's hard to be humble! Some of the worst songs on my list: My baby does the hanky panky, wild thing, Single white female, Romance rondezvous


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: sophocleese
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 04:11 PM

One song that lodged in my brain cells and is proving impossible to dislodge is that Pink Floyd gem, "just another brick in the wall". I hated it the first time I heard it. It has such a persistent monotonous, brainless drone to it I find myself humming it and hating myself.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Muskrat Susie
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 03:06 PM

Surely the worst song of all time was Muskrat Love!!! My apologies to any of your who now have this tune locked in your brain. Consider punishment for your misdeeds in a former life.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: The Cisco Kid
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 01:50 PM

Worst song I ever heard?

The one Ive just written...... apart from everyting by Celine Dion and Neil Diamond. The Cisco Kid


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peter T.
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:44 AM

God. "You're Having My Baby". I have been waiting for something to dislodge the earlier horrors. Has to be the worst song ever. I had completely forgotten this masterpiece by a Canadian (I lived next door to him when I was 3!!!). Worst ever, worst ever. Where is microbrainsurgery when you need it.
yours, Peter T. "You're Having My Baby"!!! Oh God................


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: AnnaMora
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:28 AM

How about "Little Rabbit Foo Foo?" hopping through the forest.

I was with some singing friends last night and brought up this thread. I didn't think I knew the song "MacArthur Park." Somebody started singing it and we all groaned. That just has to be the worse. And then we all giggled about that stupid cake out in the rain. Thanks for all the laughs.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Frank Hamilton
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:27 PM

My nominee is "Feelings".

Or "Torn Between Two Lovers"

Or children's songs about drugs.

"Puff the magic drag-in Lived by the C (for cocaine) Frolicked in the autumn mist (where you are when high) In the land of Honah Lea (Jazz argo for being stoned) Little Jackie Paper (to roll joints) Loved that rascal "Puff". And gave him strings and sealing wax (to roll joints with) And other fancy stuff. (Drug paraphenalia. Run to your nearest head shop, kiddies..)

Frank Hamilton


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: clj
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:23 PM

"There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't" Bill Murray. Again I had forgotten some truly horrible songs until lamarca reminded me of anything Gary Puckett did. I believe in miracles, you sexy thang.clj


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jon W.
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:16 PM

Doesn't anyone else hate "Song Sung Blue" another Neil Diamond clunker that is the very antithesis of what it is about?


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 05:48 PM

emily....and the scary thing about "Kilkelly Ireland" is how many people LOVE it!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: lamarca
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:58 PM

Lessee, what about "Timothy", the first Top-40 song about cannibalism? Or, for one that penetrates the skull and won't go away, "I'm Hooked on a Feeling" (Oo'-gah chaka, oo'-gah chaka). Anything by Abba ("Voulez-vous couchet avec moi, ce' sois?"; watch the wonderful movie "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" about three drag queens touring the Australian outback for some good reasons why...)

For nauseating, anti-feminist tripe, there's Gary Puckett's "Young Girl (Get Out of My Life), Paul Anka's "You're Having My Baby (What a Wonderful Way to Say I Love You)", "This Girl is a Woman Now" (another Gary Puckett?), "I've Been to Heaven (But I've Never Been to Me)" and the Bruce Springsteen ditty I always thought of as the "date-rape" song, "Fire" ("She's sayin' no, but I know she's a liar...")

There was a band that used to play the clubs around here called "Dred Zeppelin" who did reggae covers of Led Zep songs, fronted by an Elvis impersonator. Sorry (sort of) that I never got to see their act...


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:57 PM

Emily, get it glued back on real quick, before Catspaw notices.

Nobody's mentioned:
I am, I think
I told the sink
But all it said was "plink, plink, plink"
I am I cried
I am said I
And if the spoons won't talk to me think I will die.

Omphalowatsit at it's worst. (I mean, c'mon, the guy is talking to furniture, for Pete's sake!!!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:46 PM

Now, I don't think all traditional songs need be left out of consideration.

"Prince Heathen" is one I can do without, since ravage songs have all come up.

"Mill O'Tifty's Annie" is another I just can't stand to listen to.

And I think if I hear "Bonnie susie Cleland" one more time I'm gonna do something violent.

These songs are important to the anthropologist, since they represent things that actually happened, and I think it's important to remember that they happened; the songs are just TOO MUCH.

MAG


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:36 PM

I have been too lazy to do the final compilation from our previous competition, but these will be added to the list. "Honey" and "Yellow Ribbon" were pretty close to the top, as was "The Wedding Song". The "Unicorn Song" is a new addition to the list. Am I right that there are two loathesome Unicorn Songs? (One about having a unicorn as a best friend?) Never heard it, but it is in Rise Up Singing, "Home of Many Clunkers" (near Minnehaha).
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:46 PM

Alright, for the last time...Morrison did not write Light My Fire. It was guitar player Robbie Krieger. In an era where "yummy yummy yummy I've got Love in my Tummy" was acceptable pop lyric, "let's swim to the Moon, let's climb through the tide
celebrate the evening that the City sleeps to hide" was somewhat above the average.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: emily rain
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 03:34 PM

the newish thread has reminded me of how much i loath kilkelly ireland. what was that about wrist-slitting? arg. and it doesn't help that the thing is _interminible_.

jeri, my ass is now pernamently detatched thanks to you and your preflaming. hope yer happy. : )


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cara
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 02:55 PM

Bless you, Den. The possum milk thing kind of scares me, but I'm willing to try anything to make it stp. make it stop. MAKE IT STTTOOOOPPP!!!!!


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Den
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 02:33 PM

Quick Cara zip out the side door and down the alley into the Mudcat Tavern. Have a couple glasheens of Paddy on my tab and we'll be around to perform the exorcism later. We'll try to rid you of the Irish Rover demons that currently torment you. I want you to understand that there could be serious side effects to this particular treatment. The entire bar must perform incantations of knock three times backwards while you hold Irish Rover records under each arm as you stand in a pail of luke warm possum milk. If that doesn't work it could mean...conventional therapy. We now hear the sound of violins ala psycho. Denwhohasbeenworkingtohardlatelyandneedssleep.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 02:22 PM

How about Candida? Or Indiana Wants Me? Did anyone mention Billy Don't Be a Hero? Life Is a Rock (but the radio rolled me)?

Thank God I've got some Muddy Waters in my CD Player for the 1 hr. Drive home.


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Cara
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 02:13 PM

and if he was my uncle than he also was the brother of the widow's grown up daughter who of course was my stepmother...

(sing it with me now)

AND I AM MY OWN GRANDPA

Ever wonder how those brain cells that hold all of the really bad song lyrics and commercial jingles, etc., could be put to better use? Because I DO know all of the words to the Unicorn Song and Seven Old Ladies in the Lavatory, am I perhaps missing out on whether or not a tree falling in the forest makes any noise, or the sound of one hand clapping, or a keen undertanding of the Pythagorean theorem?

Oh, dear, what can the matter be...


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 02:01 PM

AlanC, much as I dislike Knock Three Times, for me being reminded of The Coward of the County was worse and that has been rattlin round in my head for nearly a day now.

Jon


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Allan C.
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 01:44 PM

Okay, you guys! Now you've gone and done it. "Knock Three Times" has once again come to haunt my every waking moment - no thanks to this thread! Maybe I can distract myself by singing "Maggie May" or "My Baby Does the Hanky Panky" or "Feelings" or (OH CRAP! HOW DID THIS GET IN HERE! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!) "Let It Please Be Him". (shudder, wretch)

I know what. I could switch to some instrumentals like, "Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White" or "Tea for Two" or anything at all done by Prez Prado or maybe the distinctive sounds of Ray Connif or of the bubble man himself whose name I cannot even make my fingers type.

Oh yeah. I can see that this is going to be an absolutely wonderful weekend now :-}


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: Doctor John
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 01:03 PM

There are no bad traditional songs: all the bad ones became extinct. Let's hope the same thing happens with some of the material of the songwriters of recent times who imagine their material will pass into the tradition. "January Man", "His Name is Andrew" and much of Leon Rosselson's material. They won't. Worst ever? Paul McCartney's "Mull of Kintyre" . Bring on the acoustic guitar (must be a folk song), add the bag pipes (must be Scottish), add the children's voices ... bring on the sick bag. All early Beatles stuff is pretty awful but this one's pretention as well. Dr John


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Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 12:59 PM

"Well here's another clue for you all/The walrus was Paul" - the first love who broke my heart, a serious druggie, loved 'em. well, SOMEBODY had to.

MA


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