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Mudcat Tavern -Round 9

alison 08 Sep 99 - 09:17 AM
alison 08 Sep 99 - 09:07 AM
Roger the zimmer 08 Sep 99 - 08:33 AM
Susan A-R 07 Sep 99 - 11:23 PM
Dave Swan 07 Sep 99 - 09:29 PM
Big Mick 07 Sep 99 - 09:23 PM
Lonesome EJ 07 Sep 99 - 07:33 PM
jon a 07 Sep 99 - 06:27 PM
skarpi 07 Sep 99 - 06:15 PM
jon a 07 Sep 99 - 06:06 PM
MMario 07 Sep 99 - 04:45 PM
MMario 07 Sep 99 - 03:45 PM
Bert 07 Sep 99 - 02:59 PM
catspaw49 07 Sep 99 - 02:48 PM
Allan C. 07 Sep 99 - 02:39 PM
catspaw49 07 Sep 99 - 01:23 PM
Barbara 07 Sep 99 - 01:00 PM
MMario 07 Sep 99 - 12:59 PM
Peter T. 07 Sep 99 - 10:37 AM
Roger the zimmer 07 Sep 99 - 10:05 AM
MMario 07 Sep 99 - 09:22 AM
Roger the zimmer 07 Sep 99 - 09:07 AM
Roger the zimmer 07 Sep 99 - 04:11 AM
alison 07 Sep 99 - 04:08 AM
Big Mick 07 Sep 99 - 01:12 AM
Lonesome EJ 07 Sep 99 - 01:03 AM
catspaw49 07 Sep 99 - 12:22 AM
DougR 06 Sep 99 - 11:56 PM
Barbara 06 Sep 99 - 11:56 PM
WyoWoman 06 Sep 99 - 11:48 PM
catspaw49 06 Sep 99 - 11:45 PM
WyoWoman 06 Sep 99 - 11:29 PM
alison 06 Sep 99 - 11:05 PM
Cap't Bob 06 Sep 99 - 10:57 PM
alison 06 Sep 99 - 10:24 PM
catspaw49 06 Sep 99 - 08:53 PM
Barbara 06 Sep 99 - 07:51 PM
WyoWoman 06 Sep 99 - 07:35 PM
Barbara 06 Sep 99 - 07:22 PM
DougR 06 Sep 99 - 07:16 PM
bbc 06 Sep 99 - 06:29 PM
Barbara 06 Sep 99 - 06:06 PM
Dave Swan 06 Sep 99 - 05:23 PM
Jeri 06 Sep 99 - 10:10 AM
Roger the zimmer 06 Sep 99 - 05:23 AM
Roger the zimmer 06 Sep 99 - 04:24 AM
catspaw49 04 Sep 99 - 09:03 PM
Lonesome EJ 04 Sep 99 - 08:11 PM
catspaw49 04 Sep 99 - 04:34 PM
Lonesome EJ 04 Sep 99 - 03:34 PM
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: alison
Date: 08 Sep 99 - 09:17 AM

this thread is getting long...... time to warp to...

(fanfare of trumpets)

Mudcat Tavern - Round 10


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: alison
Date: 08 Sep 99 - 09:07 AM

Have a great time Roger.... no doubt we'll all still be here when you get back.........

Jon A , thanks I'll join you for an orange juice.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 08 Sep 99 - 08:33 AM

Well, by the time I get back from Greece, the old tavern will probably have moved a couple of times so I'll have to get the staff at the NY Center to redirect me, perhaps it'll turn into a taverna.
Last chance for a virtual Metaxas, this time tomorrow, earthquakes and flight delays permitting, I'll be trying the real thing. [In Ormos Marathakambos on Samos if you want to avoid it!]
After a fortnight in Greece, I come back speaking Greek like a native (a native of Birmingham, unfortunately).
If you are going to have a swamp I better remind myself to wear my Wellington boots (you call them "rubbers" in Uncle Sam's fair land, don't you? Strange, what we call rubbers in the old country wouldn't go over my feet, even if sensitile lubricated).
It'll be nearer three weeks before I drop in again, allowing for catching up at work. I'll have dropped the "zimmer" alias and try to think up something more appropriate.
I'm taking a collected Carl Hiassen (3 novels) to read, a pity PeteT & LEJ & co haven't published their private eye epic, it's shaping to be even better!
Stin Y Yassas
Roger (zimmer no more)
"Lazybones, sleeping in the sun"


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Susan A-R
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 11:23 PM

Keep on walkin' forward Mick. But get outa that thong will ya??

You'll get there, I'm sure.

Oh, and Peter, here's your sad-o-metric. I cleaned it up as best I could but, well, you may want to be careful where you turn it on. seems to be stuck. . .


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Dave Swan
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 09:29 PM

Damn, Mick. Sorry to hear this one didn't go the right way. Here's to those who perservere. E.S.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 09:23 PM

Yep, we lost this one. The laws in the United States are so weighted against the workers right to organize that it is very hard to win the first time out. You only have about a 30% chance of winning. This is because they can use paid union busters, captive audience meetings and don't have to provide you a list of employees until two weeks out from the election. So you are left with trying to surmise who works there, then figuring out first and last name, then deducing where they live, etc. But we have a solid core of supporters and I prepared them to be ready to have to do this several times. By the third attempt you have a pretty good shot, but I believe we will get this one on the second go round. The employer made too many promises that they will not keep. Never do.

Beebs, get the house a round, and join me in a toast to those that perservere. Good folks, solid committee with the courage of their convictions. Slainte.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 07:33 PM

Hey, Skarp, let me get you that Icelandic blue water-( let's see... Russian Red, Irish Green...Here it is!) One large glass with some glacial ice cubes from a Greenland fjord! Enjoy!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: jon a
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 06:27 PM

That drinks on me Skarpi, thanks for your help with the christy moore lyrics, Im looking forward to more icelandic history from you, it is very interesting. Skol

Jon


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: skarpi
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 06:15 PM

Hello all, Ithink I will have one large glass of pure Icelandic blue Water, thank you. Who is the bartender?

All the best to you all. P.S I should put another thread about Iceland in about two or three days.

Bless į mešan Skarpi Iceland.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: jon a
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 06:06 PM

Good day All whoever is behind the bar I would like a large glass of orange juice please, it's too hot for alcohol round here. A large drink for alison too if she,s here, if not then put one behind the bar for her, thanks for the lyrics help Alison; I tried the database with Christy moore and "witches" but got nowhere, and the blue link was very kind of you, thanks again.

Jon


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: MMario
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 04:45 PM

My work day is over, my brain it is fried
And I'm off to the Tavern to get virtual pie-eyed
I know I'm in trouble when this helps me stay sane
But what do you expect, from a man with no brain?

If it's alcoholic, pour me a shot , no a double, no make that a bottle.....or two!

Day one of the week from hell is over. The most frightening thing is the people I am dealing with are the people teaching our young. Thank goodness that I know a few from OUTSIDE of work that help me keep faith in the educational system.

bbc - good luck this week!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: MMario
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 03:45 PM

What phase is the moon in?

Things seem to be almost as non-sensical out here as they are in RL today...
*oh, that I were a little clay possom and the worst thing in life I had to worry about was 'Spaw.*

Had a district network crash today...when I tried to walk the person through restoring the server over the phone, they told me they couldn't see the switch I was talking about because it was too dark in the room....

yup. no power. and they couldn't understand why the computers weren't running.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Bert
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 02:59 PM

Perhaps if we had a "Lyric request" button that prompted the user for the sought after lyric..... I'll ask Max if he can do that. You'll have to pour me a pint of Whitbread Trophy for that though.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 02:48 PM

Have another stiff one there Allan....the simple answer to your question is "NO"......sorry

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Allan C.
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 02:39 PM

Pulleeeez! Somebody pour me something quick - either lye or whiskey whatever is strong and avaiable. I am suffering from a major struggle with surpressed anger. If you haven't already noticed, there is yet another "lyrics wanted"-type thread that is giving birth to even more requests - MANY of which are in the DT! Don't these people READ? Ah-h-h-h-h...there's the stuff. Man! That burns all the way down. Burbon and rat poison? Wonderful - just what I needed. I feel better already.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 01:23 PM

Only at Mudcat would there be a discussion regarding the accuracy of a parody.......LMAO!!!!! Personally I liked the whole thing, but I'm easy..........

The marsh outside the door from y'all's discussion on the thought of the day ain't real hot Mario.......I could see a lot of drownings. Cleigh says he likes the idea, but personally, I think the possums are too thick already. But do whatever you wish. We oughta' draw a line at Peter and his Waylon Heron performing here though.........unless we're not payin' 'em, then it'd be OK.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Barbara
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 01:00 PM

I gather they lost, Peter.

Jeri, I should probably apologise for my "Service".. your initial verses were much closer to the real thing. I kinda 'cut to the chase'. A real Robert Service poem would have at least 16 lines of build up before the kiss, and another of the same before the Irish potato got cooked... and much more atmosphere.
Actually, it still needs a confrontation between 'sPaw and Big Mick...which is where Jeri's intro leads...
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: MMario
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 12:59 PM

As it's almost time for the next incarnation of the Tavern --may I suggest that when it is relocated the side door be space-warped to open onto a nice creek, complete with a small area of bog and/or swamp, and some shade trees?

It seems like more then one of us have known the pleasures of puddling around in nature....and that would be a lot easier then converting the smoothie pit into a terrarium/aquarium.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 10:37 AM

Hey, Mick, what happened with the vote, etc.?
yours, Peter T. (day after Labor Day question)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 10:05 AM

MMario, no wonder I kept falling off! You better have it back for the kids: me, I can't tell my Arras from my Elba!
Roger ("Gonna let the 2.19 cure my troubled mind")


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: MMario
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 09:22 AM

No wonder I'm getting reports that the geography class can't find it's globe. the zimmer's sitting on it!

Just slipping in for a quick coffee and one of those guava danishes...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 09:07 AM

Just sitting here quietly while the cleaning crew clean smoothie and potato and gawd knows what else off every surface (LEJ & bbc, I hope you give them a Xmas bonus), pondering on deep thoughts like: "why does a dictionary have numbered pages" and now that Samuel Beckett's work is back in vogue why hasn't Krapp's last tape come out on CD? Some blues on the juke box, no-one to complain when I sing along
I'm sittin' on top of the world
Roger


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 04:11 AM

What talent at the Tavern! Robert Service meets Ma Rainey! Can't compete. Watched part of Angel Heart last night for Brownie Mcghee: sang one number then came to a messy end. Little snatches of New Orleans jazz in the background as well. Gimme a quick one, I should be tidying the garden before going on holiday.
Roger (Diggin' my potatoes, tramplin' on my vine)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: alison
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 04:08 AM

Isn't it amazing how much Blarney these Irish guys can come out with.... think they can talk their way out of any situation........ you forget Mick you're dealing with a Belfast woman who has heard it all before *grin*....

Now get against that wall...... it's time to get clean (or should that be down and dirty?? *grin*... whatever...)

I've got the end of the hose... who is in charge of turning on the water?????


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 01:12 AM

Oh never fear, my FAIR ONE dear,
For surely I am not spent.
For what you think a dud, is merely a spud,
and the real thing is neither broke nor bent.
So be wild and free, and joyful with me,
And please, Ma'am, put down the griddle
For when you are done, with Mrs. Lane's son,
With no other shall you ever wish to diddle.

Damn, a fella goes away for a bit, and look what he comes back to. I am flat, laughing my everlovin' arse off..........


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 01:03 AM

There are songs you may sing of a spud in a sling
neath the shimmer of Northern Lights
You may keep yer eyes peeled, and yer masher concealed
fer a glimpse of a giant in tights
But when I last saw him his tuber was thawin as he sat in a pit full o' coals
Said he "girls, spare the grater- I'm the old Master Tater
When it's cooked just line up with yer bowls!"


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Sep 99 - 12:22 AM

Doug's right....I feel kinda' responsible here.......I mean with the potato in back at least he wasn't misleading the poor, fair alison....but I couldn't stand seeing that potato stuck halfway up his ass, just looked foolish....So now you all take it out on him simply because without the potato his three piece set looks more like a melting fudgcicle flanked by two jelly beans??? Give him a break.......

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: DougR
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 11:56 PM

Barbara: Pun? Whatever do you mean?

Alison: Threatening my friend, Big Mick, with the griddle is frightening (not to me of course but Mick must be a little nervous).

WyoWoman: I never dreamed that you might be a "Watcher." I'm sure poor old Mick will suffer enough the pangs of uneasiness with Alison hosing him off without enduring the unpleasantness of an audience. However, if the notion strikes you, who am I to chastise you? Maybe we should all gather to see Mick get his hosing off! But not too much pressure, Alison, I implore you. No bruises please.

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Barbara
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 11:56 PM

if it's ripe enough


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: WyoWoman
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 11:48 PM

That bait works every time...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 11:45 PM

Although I am not one to take the obvious and exploit it or to pick up on a little verbal gaffe and use it for crude and off-color humor or indulge in any sexual humor of a demeaning nature.............sometimes circumstances force me to take the easy shot. So with apologies to all in advance, I respond to Wyowoman's last remark......

"And when she's done let's watch Big Mick hosing alison!"

EXIT--STAGE LEFT

Catspaw49 *** "Spaw"
Practitioner & Purveyor of
Forthright,Honest,and Jovial Obscenity
www.mudcat.org *** Available Most Hours


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: WyoWoman
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 11:29 PM

Barbara Service, I am simply astonished. My dogs also think I'm a maniac, laughing wildly in front of the computer.

C'mon, let's all go outside and watch Alison hosing the Big Mick ...

ww


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: alison
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 11:05 PM

I'll get him clean... Have we still got that hose outside in the alley? OK Mick, outside..... NOW!! I'll teach you to lie to me.... try to fool me with a spud would you???? I said outside NOW!! Don't make me get my griddle!!...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 10:57 PM

Hay......somebody better get a swab in the head real quick...seems Mick just pulled a beat up baked potato outta his fly and pissed his pants....heck of a mess in there.

Cap't Bob


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: alison
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 10:24 PM

LOL........ wish I could think of a reply but I'm too busy laughing... LOL


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 08:53 PM

No, you're doing great and I'm bustin' a gut here..............Go for it possum Mom, tell it like it is!!!! LMAOLMAOLLMAOLMAOLMAO

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Barbara
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 07:51 PM

"Euch!, What's this", the fair maid cried,
Wiping her hands on her vest,
"I've loosened the loins of the mightiest moins*
And I've been creamed on by the best
But this is a spud, you dud of a stud!
Not buttered, and no longer hot!
You have led me along with your wit and your song,
But now, your wad has been shot!"

Anyone want to try the last quatrain?
Blessings,
Barbara

*I dunno, but it sure sounds like R. Service, don't it?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: WyoWoman
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 07:35 PM

With all these Black and Tans sloshing around, Mick's tater's not the only thing that's likely to be baked. Oh, what tha' heck. I'll have another, quickly before Koko comes back and turns the place upside down looking for her beloved Mr. Potato ... oh, never mind.

Why look -- there, at the door. That lovely selection of brightly colored feather boas I ordered has just arrived. I think 'Spaw will look smashing in the fuscia one. C'mon, fellers, let's get you all lined up for a real steamy rendition of "Fever ...."

ww


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Barbara
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 07:22 PM

aaah, No Pun Intended, right DougR?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: DougR
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 07:16 PM

Wow, Barbara! I hope Big Mick survives all that! It's sure to be hard on him, I'm sure.

bbc, glad you got things in good shape for school. I know your mind has been 0ccupied with it. I'll join you with a Black and Tan, friend, and be glad to sit with you awhile.

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: bbc
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 06:29 PM

I can't (& won't) follow that (though I applaud your collective wit & originality). I will, however, invite one & all to a round of drinks on me. I think I may just be almost ready for the start of the school year (& not a moment to spare!). I have a plan for weeks 1-5 & an overall plan for the year. Now, I just need to firm things up, but, it looks do-able. Whew, what a relief!!! Pull up a chair & let's sing something (other than that one about Mick's potato!).

bbc--greeting the new school year in New York tomorrow


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Barbara
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 06:06 PM

As she gazed around you could not hear a sound
But the dropping of possum turds
And she gave Big Mick a technicolor smile
and greeted him with sultry words;
She kissed him long, this hairy Mick in his thong --
He nearly dropped to his knees--
And sliding a hand to the front of his pants
She gave the goods a squeeze
"You're glad to see me I can tell, your favorite nel,
I've an unrefusable offer to make"
Heat rose in waves as Mighty Mick became inflamed,
And the potato, it was baked!

God! don't we have anything better to do with our time?
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Dave Swan
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 05:23 PM

There's men that somehow just grip your eyes,
And Big ol' Mick was one
And such was he, and he looked to me
Like a Mick who was on the run
With a furtive glance and Lycra pants
Or the pouch that for them stood
He mumbled a phrase that left them amazed
Saying "Koko's back in the 'hood"
I thought of tubers and volleys and jello
And Velcro and clamshell bras
I turned my head and watching him there
Was Alison, fair one, from Oz.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 10:10 AM

Apologies to Robert Service. Anyone want to play?
-----------------

A bunch of the folks were whooping it up
In the old Mudcat saloon;
The fella that handles the coffee machine
Was plunking a banjo tune;
In front of the bar in a battle of wits
Sat Catspaw 49,
And listening to him, the Mudcatters all
Hung on every line.

When out of the night, which was muggy and warm,
And into the din and the glare,
There stumbled Big Mick, all sweaty and slick,
In a thong, and hung like a bear.
He looked like a man with a wedgie from hell,
His face scrunched in discomfort profound,
Yet he threw a large wad of cash on the bar,
And he called for drinks all 'round.
There was none could believe the size we perceived,
And of falsehood we looked for a sign;
But we drank his health, and the last to drink
Was Catspaw49.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 05:23 AM

Still as fumble fingered as ever. Before Word Processors, colleagues said my typing was nearly as difficult to read as my handwriting!
BTW, a group of high school girls had their noses pressed up against the Tavern window when Big Mick was parading his potato.
I asked them what they thought , they said, "Thong heaven , for little girls"
Roger
"My face is cherry red"


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 06 Sep 99 - 04:24 AM

Glad to see things finally calmed down in here over the weekend. Was that what they call Thong Thircle Etiquette?
We were musing in the Neil Young Center over the weekend (OK, I was musing) about the absurd narrow categories the young give to their music: "handbag", "Garage", "house". How to categorise my music? "Briefcase garden shed" perhaps.
The rest of the ward said they thought I sang protest songs: I sang, they protested!
The regulars have used up all my possible thong puns, I must be slipping (it's the smoothie on the floor!).
So I'll just sit here, sipping a Metaxas till the fun starts again.BTW, SheWMBO says we must lose weight when we get back from holiday. She suggests it is the drinks & crisps before dinner during the week that is the problem.
Shame, but we'll just have to give up the crisps (potato chips I believe you colonial chappies call them).
Roger (Built for comfort, I'm not built for speed)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Sep 99 - 09:03 PM

Okay pard, and I know whatcha mean 'bout them Texas folk.......Tell ya' what, you hide behind the bar and if they ask who I am, I'll tell 'em I'm a direct descendant of Sam Houston.....then if gargoyle shows up, I'll tell them that he's you......might work............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Sep 99 - 08:11 PM

Hey Catspaw, I'm afraid I really pissed off the Texans over in the GRITS thread by accusing them of not being true Southerners. They can take a joke right? Maybe? Anyhow, here's your buddy Jack, and I'll be hiding behind the bar. Lemme know if any of them Texans come in.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Sep 99 - 04:34 PM

Mick's passing out taters over there in the corner Leej.....if you're going to wear sweats, grab one of them big Idaho bakers...and remember it goes in front. And watch you don't get one of those first one's Mick used.........and gimme' a Jack Frost Leej........Say,picked up a nice piece of stoneware from your old stompin' grounds a few weeks back......Karen kinda' collects one of their patterns...........think I'll grab a table....

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern -Round 9
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Sep 99 - 03:34 PM

LEJ struggles to remove thong which he has mistakenly put on backwards, finally emerging from it with a loud POP, then checks to make sure he hasn't lost anything else in the process Goddam, give me a shot of bourbon and a pair of sweatpants quick!


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