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Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!

katlaughing 29 Jul 99 - 10:51 PM
MAG (inactive) 29 Jul 99 - 11:17 PM
bbc 29 Jul 99 - 11:27 PM
WyoWoman 29 Jul 99 - 11:42 PM
bseed(charleskratz) 30 Jul 99 - 01:55 AM
Lonesome EJ 30 Jul 99 - 02:03 AM
Big Mick 30 Jul 99 - 02:38 AM
alison 30 Jul 99 - 03:21 AM
Roger the zimmer 30 Jul 99 - 04:53 AM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 08:09 AM
Allan C. 30 Jul 99 - 08:19 AM
Peter T. 30 Jul 99 - 09:15 AM
WyoWoman 30 Jul 99 - 09:24 AM
Neil Lowe 30 Jul 99 - 09:31 AM
Peter T. 30 Jul 99 - 09:31 AM
Peter T. 30 Jul 99 - 09:38 AM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 09:38 AM
WyoWoman 30 Jul 99 - 09:48 AM
Peter T. 30 Jul 99 - 10:00 AM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 10:40 AM
Bert 30 Jul 99 - 10:48 AM
Peter T. 30 Jul 99 - 10:48 AM
Dave Swan 30 Jul 99 - 11:49 AM
Angus McSweeney 30 Jul 99 - 11:57 AM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 11:58 AM
DougR 30 Jul 99 - 12:30 PM
Jeri 30 Jul 99 - 12:36 PM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 12:38 PM
MAG (inactive) 30 Jul 99 - 12:46 PM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 12:50 PM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 01:21 PM
Uilleand 30 Jul 99 - 01:54 PM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 01:58 PM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 01:59 PM
campfire 30 Jul 99 - 02:10 PM
Uilleand 30 Jul 99 - 02:21 PM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 02:58 PM
emily rain 30 Jul 99 - 03:30 PM
DougR 30 Jul 99 - 04:36 PM
DougR 30 Jul 99 - 04:43 PM
Marion 30 Jul 99 - 04:50 PM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 04:59 PM
WyoWoman 30 Jul 99 - 05:32 PM
bbc 30 Jul 99 - 05:56 PM
DougR 30 Jul 99 - 05:59 PM
DougR 30 Jul 99 - 06:22 PM
jon a 30 Jul 99 - 07:33 PM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 08:03 PM
MAG (inactive) 30 Jul 99 - 09:47 PM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 10:27 PM
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Subject: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Jul 99 - 10:51 PM

(Raucous voices off stage singing:)

Belly up, belly up to the bar boys
Better have a few beers.....
(more drifting through...then

Only drink when you're all alone or with somebody else!

Open for business, once again, with faster loading, er...pouring than ever! Hey, Susan! Great spring rolls...jello was getting kinda like the only ting to eat around here! Real cuisine! No charge for Susan's drinks, 'kay, LeeJ??


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 29 Jul 99 - 11:17 PM

Why, we'll just trot in boxes and boxes of these buttered biscuits from the "ethnic crossover" thread, and I'll throw in some skewered chicken with peanut sauce. And a peanut butter pie for dessert. After putting down that entire pint of Haagen-Dasz with brandy and Tia Maria on top, I'm still kind of woozy -- sugar hangover to beat the band. Oh, and here's a BIG bowl of NORTHWEST cherries, and another of blueberries right off the bushes in my backyard. If you can still sing after eating all that, you can throw me into the jello ...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 29 Jul 99 - 11:27 PM

Well, I'm glad we made it over! And just in time for the end of my shift! Boy, those cherries are great! Thanks, MAG! See ya in the morning for coffee & doughnuts. Maybe I'll make another coffeecake before I come in.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 29 Jul 99 - 11:42 PM

Why, look. Who left this enormous canister of whipping cream on the bar? Alison? Have you been up to your tricks again? I know, this time, let's just fill the pool up with gallons and gallons of Irish coffe, pretend it's a big ol' hot tub and EVERYbody can get in and soak a while...last one in, bring the whipped cream....

"Getting to KNOOOOW you, Getting to know all aboooout yewww..."

WW


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 01:55 AM

Oh, man--osmotic and olfactory ingestion of both alcohol and caffeine--the more you wiggle the more you giggle. I'll just jump in here and send out for biscotti. --seed


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 02:03 AM

LEJ hangs towel on barstool and climbs onto bar. Strides out to edge of bar and picks up can of Reddi-Whip, then sprays 5 inch thick artificial whipped- cream reef over pool of Guinness/Jello and frolicking Mudcatters, leaving 18" diameter hole in center,then declaims "It is a far, far better thing I do
than I have ever done before
" with this, turns his back to the pool, stands steady for a moment, then leaps into the fragrant air, executes a perfect reverse double gainer with a half twist, then enters the half-congealed stout like an arrow into the heart of the bullseye, neither displacing or disturbing the ring of Reddi-whip that surrounds his entry-point.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Big Mick
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 02:38 AM

Damn,..............go away for a bit to do some work and come back to find out that all my body openings have several varieties of jello stuck in them.............I have had my ass whupped by The Fair One and Lady Leglock.........My damn Guild is somewhere on the Keewenaw Peninsula and I am left with a damn Yamaha that has more jello in it than my ears........Leej, if you want me to do "Seven Spanish Angels", or "Pancho and Lefty" I can probably manage, but I draw the line at "Of all the Girls I loved before"!!!!!!............I prefer the WOMEN of the 'Cat. Where the hell else is a fella going to find women who can whup yer ass and then sit down and sing a great song with you..............Guinnes flavored jello???????????????????...........Lordy but I am getting to love this place...........HEY RICK, GIT YOUR HANDS OFF THAT GUITAR............One of you guys are going to have to go in to get your behind trashed, my reputation as a tough guy can't take anymore butt whippings..............Leej, pull me a proper of the vile dark stuff, and a round for the joint.............Now where is THE FAIR ONE? Seems like she could get me a drink, and a little sympathy for my poor injured ego............Hey bbc, got a hug for the ole Big Mick????????


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: alison
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 03:21 AM

Hi Mick...

Over here in the Irish Coffee Jacuzzi... resting my weary muscles.............. now where's that straw?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 04:53 AM

Mesage from "Jellos 'R' Us": the tanker has broken down so no delivery today: you'll have to make do with the giant Irish coffee. Just a tip, you'll never keep the cream floating on the top if you keep diving in from the chandelier. Pour the cream over the back of a warm banjo and it won't sink.
Who's this coming to join in? It's a woman with a small swimming bird.
Yes, it's a wee duck and Doris.
[Exit, pursued by missiles]


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 08:09 AM

Hey, Lonesome, that dive was a perfect 10! Here's a towel to wipe the jello out of your eyes. What *are* we going to do about this place?! Those jello footprints are making it hard for me to do my job safely!

Now, Mike, don't go beating up the guys. Just stick to hugging the ladies. That jello ought to help. Good morning! Here's your drink & some doughnuts. You can dunk in the jacuzzi over there with alison. Glad to see you! You've been working too hard!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Allan C.
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 08:19 AM

Wow, Mick! I really like the idea of Guinnes flavored jello. I'll see about whipping up a batch and bring it in next time I stop by.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:15 AM

Hey, LEJ, How come the SADOMETRIC exerciser guy gets tossed out, and you install a Folkie Karaoke machine? (Of course, why am I asking about taste when I am stuck to the floor in goo?)
yours, Peter T. (Folkie Karaoke machine whirrs into life, disgorges long black veil. The sound of Lefty Frizzel's backup fills the air -- "Nobody knows, nobody sees...." Fog fills the room, wind moans


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:24 AM

But, wait. What are these words lilting out of the room as the Folkie Karaoke broadcasts diligently in the background? The tune is "Long Black Veil" alright, but the words? What can it be? I listen closer and ... yes, that's right. It's

Mudcat Midnight....

Twenty years ago In a tavern deep and dark Some frisky Mudcateers Had quite a lark

They frolicked and played Until the light of day Poured jello in the pool And they all did say ....

(Peter? Big Mick? Alison? You take it ....)

WW


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:31 AM

...Kesey's been up to his old tricks again, and wouldn't you know it little old me gets caught up in the fracas yet again. After finding a parking spot for that godawful bus on the astral plane smack dab in front of the Church of Jim, Jimi and Janis, he starts quoting something from George Carlin about if God dropped acid would he see people and starts passing out the Kool-Aid. Before you know it Wavy Gravy's jumping up and down yelling, "No Rogain, No Rogain!" and Baba Ram Dass launches into this long diatribe about the reincarnation of liquid wax as paste wax in the next life. Timothy Leary tells Jerry Garcia he can be anything he wants the next time around, why not a hand surgeon. William Burroughs is sitting in the back seat, counting how many times he chants "Hare Krshna, Hare Krshna," and oiling his 12-gauge over-and-under. John Lennon asks Carlos Castaneda if he's got any peyote, and Carlos answers no, but he found Garcia's finger in his dreams. Leary pipes up and claims that Don Juan asked him about medicinal plants used in religious rituals when he was in jail in Mexico and by the way Bill, was it you who volunteered that package of morphine suppositories in lieu of bail? Carlos turns to me for pencil and paper me but I realize that Cassady left his pocket knife on the counter and return to the bar to find jello in various forms of lurid and fetid metamorphosis strewn about the floor and walls. It dawns on me that I am way too old to be criss-crossing these synaptic junctions and rerouting neural pathways. I need a drink. bbc, I don't envy you your job....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:31 AM

She slushes the hills in a Jello'd veil,
She looks like a Sumo whale
Covered in nuts, covered in cheese
Nobody knows but me.
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:38 AM

sorry, lost a "just" in the second line. Back to somebody? WyoW.?
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:38 AM

Plain tomato juice for Neil & Peter this morning. Here you go, guys. Drink up! Lemon wedges, if you need a little interest.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:48 AM

Banjo in hand, She begins to stir, And no one in the place Says a blessed word ...

(A plaintive voice from the crowd wails "I JUST WANT LINE BREAKS??? IS THAT SO WRONG???)

WW


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 10:00 AM

The judge said, Ma'am
what is your alibi?
if you were somewhere else, then you won't have to die.
I spoke not a word, though I were turned into goo,
for I had been in the tub with marshmallows and you.

yours, Peter T>


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 10:40 AM

Sounds like the tomato juice didn't help. Just kidding, Peter!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Bert
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 10:48 AM

She wades the pool in her bathing suit and calls out to Peter for a Jello shoot- er. everyone knows, everyone sees, everyone knows, but meeeee


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 10:48 AM

no, bbc, I think I need a long black Guinness straight for God's sake. (June Carter on autoharp).
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Dave Swan
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 11:49 AM

Goo morning everybody. Look what I've got. A gross of snorkels. I found 'em on sale. Think what these can do to increase bottom time in the jello tank....Now could someone please help me with the gorilla head and fire helmet? It's really uncomfortable. I'm gonna need a big ol' Guinness infusion before this passes.

Another thought. When I worked in a pub, the owner and I would occasionally make Guinness floats for our dessert. A scoop of really good coffee ice cream in a glass of Guinness. Anyone ?

E.S.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Angus McSweeney
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 11:57 AM

I stood in the crowd and I shed not a tear, (Well, maybe one or two, then had another beer) But sometimes at night when the wrasslin' starts again I move towards the back and order up a gin...

Too many know, too many see It's diet jello folks, so no calories!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 11:58 AM

Well okay, I'm leaving off the amaretto sissy drink and going for my old time favs...bbc..a couple a shots of tequila with some salt & lime please. Look out boys! I get crazy, silly after just one! BUT, I draw the line at reconstituted cattle hooves! Gimmee CHOCOLATE!!! Chocolate ANYTHING (well, anything but j-e-l-l-o!) and I am game!

Mmmm, smooth and creamy Window's getting steamy
Chawc-oh-lawt, I love a lawt!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: DougR
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:30 PM

Geeze! I've never seen so many folks addicted to Jello! Whatever happened to just plain old drinking? Bbc, it's a bit early out here on the desert for the strong stuff, but a nice cup of coffee would be welcomed. You are a nice lady and a super waitress!

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:36 PM

Hot fudge wrestling? But nobody would wrestle, they'd just by lying around licking each other off...

...er, anybody have an '800' number for Hershey's? You think they would deliver it to the helipad on the roof?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:38 PM

OK, let's see if I've got this right--Guinness for Peter & Dave, gin for Angus, tequila w/ salt & lime on the side for kat, coffee for Doug on Arizona time. Cream & sugar w/ that? (Thanks for the compliments. Encourage people to tip more, ok? Gotta pay off that digital camera!) :) Comin' right up, folks!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:46 PM

Kat, try some of my Brandy Alexander; you'll love it ... (I used the creme de cacao this time)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:50 PM

bbc....uh, the Wells Fargo truck is here. They say they have a few gold bullions/bricks to be delivered to your name??? It's, uh, from Donald Trump???!!! Hey! How'd he know you weren't getting enough tips???? Ya gonna share? Keep your job?? Gonna run away and play on a sun-drenched island in the tropics?

Naw! think of all the Hershey's you could buy!!!Come on phoaks, let's sing a song to make her stay:

If ever I should leave you
It wouldn't be in springtime.....

Thanks for the tequila!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 01:21 PM

Oh, coool!!!! Let's see--pay off the camera first, send David to MIT. Anything left? Let's have another party!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Uilleand
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 01:54 PM

Any Pangalactic Gargleblasters in this place. I feel like I need my brains knocked out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. Sorry to be so late to the party.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 01:58 PM

Yes, Uilleand! We can whip up anything from the Hitchhiker's Guide Cookbook! Right, Leej? Comin' right up. If I were you, I'd sit down when drinking that!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 01:59 PM

It's the party that never stops, so...ya can't be late! 's okay!:-)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: campfire
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 02:10 PM

Its been a long hot morning at work so I think I'll join Kat in the Tequila. I hope you still have Cuervo, but no wheels for me, please. Double shot, straight up. Thanks

campfire


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Uilleand
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 02:21 PM

In that case, anyone for the Janx Spirit drinking game?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 02:58 PM

Hmmmmmm...any takers?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: emily rain
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 03:30 PM

i can't remember the jingle, but is that the progressive drinking game where you have to telekinetically tip the bottle into your opponent's glass? and zaphod plays to lose?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: DougR
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 04:36 PM

bbc:

Sorry! I should have been more specific. No cream, no sugar. 'Tis afternoon on the desert now, though. A Blakc and Tan would do nicely, thank you. You ARE declaring your tips on your federal taxes, I assume? (**Grin**)

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: DougR
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 04:43 PM

Jeri:

Your idea is a super one! Nobody's gonna lick jello off anything (I don't think)! Fudge, now, that's a different story.

And bbc, I meant to order a Black and Tan, not a Blakc and Tan.

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: Marion
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 04:50 PM

I don't know how you people can stand hanging around in a jello pit. Don't you know that gelatin is made from cows' hooves? Don't you know what those cows have been walking through?

Marion


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 04:59 PM

THANK YEW, MARION!!!

I've been trying to tell 'em, but I guess I was just too subtle??!!

There ya have it, phoaks! That's why I am campaigning for

CHOCOLATE!

HOT FUDGE LICKIN' TONIGHT AT 10 Mudcat time! It'll be mighty tasty!

kat


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 05:32 PM

Hey, anybody lickin' hot fudge off anything, and I'M THERE!!!

Although, imagining the enthusiastic response there's gonna be to this particular diversion and my mind simply boggles. Dozens of semi-nude Mudcateers drenched in dark chocolate, hungrily circling each other...

I'm bringing a bucket o' chopped walnuts, that's what I'M doing... And we still have some of the whipped cream from the Irish Coffee jacuzzi.

"Just another Mudcateer Sundaeee, Here in Mudcat Tavernland ....."

WW


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 05:56 PM

emily, I think you're right. And the longer you play, the harder it is to control the bottle. Think there's a lesson in there someplace! For those of you with bad memories, here's a link I found. It's a great site that indexes Hitchhiker's Guide.

OK, Doug, black coffee tomorrow morning. Black & Tan for now! I suppose I will have to report those tips. Darn taxes!!!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: DougR
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 05:59 PM

Geeeeeezeeee! What a sight! Boggles de mind.

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: DougR
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 06:22 PM

Kat:

You didn't know? It's a dry heat out here. We don't sweat.

DougR


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: jon a
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 07:33 PM

Book me in for the Irish Coffee pool, I can sit here with my bag of chocolate truffles and really go to town. Maybe afterwards I will get out thebodran my wife bought me last year and start trying to learn what to do with it.... after all it don't matter if you make a fool of yourself in front of friends, RIGHT?

Katlaughing come and grab a choccy or 3, anyone else?

Jon


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 08:03 PM

Ooooo, Jon, here I come,as long as I don't have to drink the coffee! Still don't like the taste of that! Chocolate truffles, eh? Mmmmmmm gooood.

DougR; it drier than the Sahara up here, but the men still sweat, so.....what's yer Secret©?? Teehee!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 09:47 PM

7:46 PST, so it must be 10:46 EST -- ah ha, there you are, with the fudge sauce! You could dump some in the jacuzzi and turn it into alcoholic mocha .


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern- Round FOUR!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 10:27 PM

MAG, if I've got it right, the time which posts by the messages is EST, for the Mudcat; according to that it is just now 10:26p and I am late for the chocolate...had to step away for a moment.

Where is everybody????Out doing paying gigs? On a Friday night? Well, I guess somebody has to do it!

Anybody get that order from Godiva?


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