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BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs

Joe_F 14 May 09 - 09:49 PM
Lonesome EJ 14 May 09 - 07:05 PM
gnu 14 May 09 - 02:55 PM
Amos 14 May 09 - 02:39 PM
Lonesome EJ 14 May 09 - 01:54 PM
TRUBRIT 14 May 09 - 12:08 AM
gnu 12 May 09 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 08 - 09:19 AM
gnu 31 Jan 08 - 06:27 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 08 - 11:59 PM
TRUBRIT 30 Jan 08 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 08 - 10:52 PM
SINSULL 30 Jan 08 - 04:53 PM
gnu 30 Jan 08 - 03:16 PM
SINSULL 30 Jan 08 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 08 - 04:14 PM
Liz the Squeak 29 Jan 08 - 08:40 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 08 - 08:35 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 08 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 08 - 09:44 PM
iancarterb 28 Jan 08 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 08 - 06:00 PM
gnu 28 Jan 08 - 05:53 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 08 - 05:52 PM
gnu 28 Jan 08 - 04:47 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 08 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 08 - 04:18 PM
gnu 28 Jan 08 - 03:58 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Jan 08 - 03:28 PM
gnu 28 Jan 08 - 03:11 PM
jacqui.c 28 Jan 08 - 02:59 PM
gnu 28 Jan 08 - 02:51 PM
jacqui.c 28 Jan 08 - 08:49 AM
gnu 28 Jan 08 - 08:38 AM
jacqui.c 28 Jan 08 - 08:25 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 08 - 08:10 AM
Bill D 27 Jan 08 - 09:59 PM
Bee 27 Jan 08 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 08 - 07:35 PM
gnu 27 Jan 08 - 06:32 PM
gnu 27 Jan 08 - 05:07 PM
Liz the Squeak 27 Jan 08 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 08 - 04:54 PM
gnu 27 Jan 08 - 01:52 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 08 - 01:44 PM
gnu 27 Jan 08 - 01:24 PM
John MacKenzie 27 Jan 08 - 10:56 AM
gnu 27 Jan 08 - 10:42 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 08 - 09:09 AM
jacqui.c 27 Jan 08 - 08:25 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 May 09 - 09:49 PM

I had one 5 years ago. Doing without alcohol for 4 days was an interesting experiment, and I am happy to say that I did not experience any craving. Despite my faithfully following the instructions (living on Sprite & bouillon and all that jazz), I was told that the doctor could not see much. The nurse warned me that the sedative would cause amnesia, but evidently she did not warn the doctor, so (I was later told) he told me a number of things I did not remember.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 May 09 - 07:05 PM

I've always consider gynecology of more interest. To me, it's just a fascinating area.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 09 - 02:55 PM

Amos... no shortage of assholes?

Hope my post doesn't get deleted this time... ????


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 09 - 02:39 PM

It's a good field with plenty of openings.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 May 09 - 01:54 PM

I had the drugs for both of mine. The worst part was watching them roll up the controls and drape the tubes and attachments over me. There was something that looked kind of like a drain snake.
The procedure itself is mostly a non-memory.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 14 May 09 - 12:08 AM

Which one is Spaw and which, if either, is Gnu? Some of us don't know you all......great song.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 09 - 07:15 PM

Dunno if this was posted previously... a buddy of mine who shant be named just sent me a link regarding the topic...

SPAW


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 09:19 AM

Well, they didn't use THAT scope on me! Why don't they check them and discard the ones that puncture the intestinal wall? I mean, I would. I'd think that they'd be dangerous just to keep around.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 06:27 AM

Rap... there is also a tendency to flinch when the air is pumped in as well as during the insertionsssssss. Drugs lessen or eliminate flinching and the corresponding chance of the scope roughing up or puncturing the colon wall. I understand that punctures are about one per thousand scopes... anybody have the correct number?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 11:59 PM

People tend to fight having things inserted into bodily orifices. The drugs are to relax you so that the docs can get the job done with the least amount of trouble.

And that's fine with me, man. Like, you know, it was, you know, like, groovy and all. I think I saw god and she's cool with it, you know, the flowers and all.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 11:02 PM

I hated absolutely everything to do with my colonoscopy. First - the crap they give you to drink the night before .....it was absolutely foul. I didn't mind the not eating bit stuff but that stuff to drink was just horrible. I was supposed to be awake for the procedure, which I guess is the norm. MY norm is to weep pitifully when something I don't like is about to happen.......I lay there snivelling quietly and this angel from heaven, aka the colonoscopy guy asked me if I wanted to go to sleep. The most wonderful words I ever heard.! I woke up - it was done.....I swore I'd never have another but I suspect I will.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 10:52 PM

Well, I clicked on the ad below headed "Constipation Is Deadly" and it says "Death begins in the colon." Dang, but the French Revolution could have saved a lot of effort if they'd only known that!

When I was under the influence I vaguely remember the Doc showing me some pictures on a monitor. I think I sort of agreed with whatever he said. Fortunately, he also printed the pictures out so I now vaguely remember seeing them on the report.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 04:53 PM

I forgot, gnu...


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 03:16 PM

SINS.... what don't you get?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 01:59 PM

I don't get it. The drugs wore off. I got up and dressed after a cookie and juice which I didn't want. Then Tami took me home. I remember it all including a noisy recovery room full of people farting long and loud. Some were messed up by the drugs. One guy went out to his ride in a wheel chair.

The first time I had one I was awake throught he entire procedure. My nephew met me, walked me to the subway and I went home mildly high but so was half of NYC.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 04:14 PM

Normally I'd agree, LtS, but this time no. Once every five years or so is plenty for one opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 08:40 AM

Clean as a whistle.... has anyone actually looked inside a whistle recently? I did just that about 10 mins ago and it's disgusting. If I were you Rap, I'd get a second opinion!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 08:35 AM

Oh, yeah -- let us know how it goes!


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 08:34 AM

Dang, I forgot to ask him if it was clean enough in there that he'd eat off the floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 09:44 PM

That first time, I had to:

1. Drink a liter of liquid laxative (sodium citrate, I think it was), once in the morning and once in the evening
2. Take six (6) laxative pills (Dulcolax, I think), one every four hours
3. Insert two laxative suppositories, one in the early afternoon and one before going to bed
4. Give myself an enema at noon.

During this entire time I was on clear liquids, not to mention the toilet.

It really was about as civilized as it can get this time: 4 pills all at once in the morning, another pill at 3:30 p.m., two quarts of PEG (polyethelene glycol) at 4:00 p.m. There was little cramping; it was more like turning on a faucet.

And I was, according to the doctor, "clean as a whistle inside."


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: iancarterb
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 09:34 PM

Hadn't thought of anything to be grateful for after fasting most of today and being 750 mils down on a required liter of laxative before a colonoscopy tomorrow morning, but not having had to do a self applied enema is definitely a plus. Thanks, Rapaire.
Carter B


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 06:00 PM

That's what I say when people act surprised at how old I am: "Well, considering the alternative...."


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 05:53 PM

But still far better than the possible alternative.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 05:52 PM

I've had this nonsense done before: first in 1991, then in 2002, and today. Each time they took out an eensy-weensy polyp or two. The first time they never invited me back, which hurt my feelings very badly. The second time I was unemployed but still had insurance and the doc suggested it because of my age (I'm over 172 years old). And this time it was done because the previous one was five years ago.

The first time the prep was BLOODY GODDAM AWFUL!! I had to give myself an enema, for instance. The second time the prep wasn't fun, but it was a lot better than the first time. This time is was nearly, but only nearly, civilized.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 04:47 PM

You are in the Five Year Club!!! Great news!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 04:31 PM

Yes, I am fully aware that Odysseus was married to Penelope....


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 04:18 PM

No, I'll bet his wife waited for him as Cassandra waited for Odysseus. I'll be when the procedure was over his wife loaded him in the car, went to the Post Office, then went to City Hall to vote en absentia, then took him to McDonald's for a bite of breakfast (and ambrosia it was!) and then took him home where he slept for four hours.

I'll also be they removed two small (<2mm each), benign polyps and told him to "haul [his] ass the hell outa there and don't come back for five years, unless you have some kind of trouble."

That's the way I'd bet.

Any takers? I'll betcha double or nothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 03:58 PM

Do you suppose he went straight to the all-you-can-eat buffet and is gonna stay?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 03:28 PM

Hopefully it's just a case of the doctors talking among themselves:

Dr. 1: "You say this guy did all of the purging and fasting, right?"

Dr. 2: "Yup. Guy's good a following directions. Gets a little carried away with detail at times, but I'm sure he did it right."

Dr. 1: "Then we have one for the record books. This guy really is full of sh*t!"

Nurse: "You ladies haven't been reading that MOAB thread, have you, or you'd know that without looking up this guy's backside."


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 03:11 PM

Hahahahaha!!!! Hmmmm... nah...


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 02:59 PM

Do you reckon they've finished yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 02:51 PM

Closin in on five hours, innit?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:49 AM

gnu - All I wanted afterwards was home made pea soup. That's the first thing I can remember - sitting in the recliner eating soup.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:38 AM

God speed dear friend.

jac... that's all I could do beforehand, but, after I came home, I wasn't quite as ravenous. First thing I went for was a hot cup of tea or three.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:25 AM

Good luck lad - just think about what you are going to eat when you get finished.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:10 AM

I'll be there in 90 minutes or so.

While I know that it might be hard to believe,

I'M #$##!! HUNGRY!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:59 PM

keep us informed


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Bee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 08:37 PM

Ah, some good gnus and soon some rapaires done as necessary!


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:35 PM

Uuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh....

IT has started. And I've enjoyed some more delicious, filling, Yellow Jello! Oh, boy, was it good! For dinner I think I'll enjoy a nice cup of chicken broth! And more jello for a before bed snack (I think I'll be sleeping the toilet).


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 06:32 PM

Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:07 PM

A brace of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:01 PM

Figures.. I have some sleeping pills that warn me 'may cause drowsiness'... well I should damned well hope so, that's why I was prescribed them!

Brace for impact....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:54 PM

Well, all good things must end. In 30 minutes I take the second round of meds and an hour after that start drinking. I think things will happen rather quickly (and for most of the night) after that.

I checked these meds online and would you believe that one of the possible side effects is diarrhea? Why, I couldn't believe it! And here I thought it would be constipation or priapism or baldness or something. Laxatives might cause diarrhea! Who woulda thunk it?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 01:52 PM

Gee... quite different from what I had to do. I hope the results are less "unsettling" for you. Screen door stuff for me.

But, I hope you pass your test with flying colours. That's what really matters in the end.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 01:44 PM

I took the first pills at 8 a.m., I'm due to take another at 3:30 and two quarts of polyethelene glycol from 4:30 to 6:30. So far nothing much has happened, but I expect that to change at any moment.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 01:24 PM

So Rap.... what time do you take your medicine?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:56 AM

buttock up?


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:42 AM

Pucker up buttercup.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:09 AM

It's an hour until I start the prep.

Last night we went to a new restaurant for dinner. We very much enjoyed the tapas, the wine, and the dessert (creme brulee for me, lemon tart with a pine-nut crust for Pat) and yes, we'll go there again!

You'd drive right by if you didn't know, as you would the brew pub. Both are down in the "Warehouse District" (part of which used to also be the "Whorehouse District").

Don Aslett is putting a Cleaning Museum there, too. He's brought a horse-drawn vacuum cleaner from London as an exhibit, among other things. He's also building a full-sized Ark in the back. Well...it's his millions.


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Subject: RE: BS: Colonoscopy ins and outs
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 08:25 AM

We're thinking of you Rap...........


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