Mudcat Café message #518394 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #37057   Message #518394
Posted By: GUEST,A Concerned Friend
31-Jul-01 - 11:38 AM
Thread Name: Suspect Physical Abuse--What to do?
Subject: RE: Suspect Physical Abuse--What to do?
SharonA--I appreciate your concern, but don't try to read too much into what I have said, since I am being careful not to say anything that will expose the people involved here. I am trying to just convey a sense of what is going on. To reassure you, I am not introducing here to any newprofessionals, not risking exposing her to ridicule, or anything like that, she will strictly be among friends--

Alice said, "You and the domestic abuse counselor/shelter in your area have to get through to her somehow." Well, I have been around for quite a few years, and I know all too well that you can't always get through to people, no matter how important it is. You can talk to some people until your voice goes out, and they will go ahead, full speed at a brick wall. Part of the reason that I put the question here, and have kept my identity concealed is that I have shared things like this with others who were close to the problem, only to have them step in "because I couldn't sit idly by and watch so and so let their life go down the drain"--and guess what? Well, you know what...it just made things worse.

Years ago, a woman who sat across from me in an office pool (remember, before word processors and computers, when people had to type everything, I used to come home with carbon paper on my hands and white out on every outfit!) and she came in one morning with bruises on her face, and a black eye. After a several years of marriage, he lost it. But she only let it happen once. Her brother and her uncle picked her up at lunch, and we never saw her again. Bluto showed up several days later, demanding to know where she was,(and demanding her paycheck) and knocked a couple chairs over. The police were called. So I know that people can and do walk away, if they want to. If they don't, they have some reasons of their own for staying--if physical violence doesn't drive someone away--it is unlikely that a few words are going to make a difference.