Mudcat Café message #515884 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #37057   Message #515884
Posted By: SharonA
27-Jul-01 - 10:20 AM
Thread Name: Suspect Physical Abuse--What to do?
Subject: RE: Suspect Physical Abuse--What to do?
"To suggest that she might have this kind of problem is not something that a lot of people would want to deal with--even people who usually deal with this sort of thing-- "

Kudos to you, then, Concerned Friend, for wanting to help!

Kinda sounds like "a stern talking to" (in private) may be in order, if she's feeling too proud to seek help because of her position (the "I'm SUPPOSED to be helping THEM, I'm not supposed to BE them" syndrome). Let's face it; she'll see any subtle, gentle approaches coming a mile off, because of her training in doing the very same thing for others, and will be ready to rebuff them. If she tries to brush you off with an "I'm fine", and she's obviously NOT, tell her so! Tell her she's not fooling anybody!

I don't suggest "browbeating", as in nagging repeatedly or coming across as yet another abuser, but it sounds as if she needs to be looked in the black-eye by someone who can say "You know (in your head, if not in your heart) what you must do about this in order to stop it. I will help you do it. Now, let's do it." Be the voice of reason... and action!

If necessary, point out to her that her credibility as a professional is at stake (i.e. how can she help others if she won't let herself be helped?), and that the experience of being helped will only make her better able to help others in the future (all the degrees and certifications in the world can't substitute for THAT).