Mudcat Café message #426078 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #32425   Message #426078
Posted By: TonyK
26-Mar-01 - 04:38 PM
Thread Name: When your group disagrees wth you...
Subject: RE: When your group disagrees wth you...
I've been in situations where I have felt part of the group and on equal footing with everyone there and I've been where I felt like an outsider. In either case I am learning to take care of myself.

There are lots of different types of people: martyrs, manipulators, controlers, histrionics, prima donnas, etc. I have to decide if the effort to push my issue through is worth it. "Pick your battles" I've been told.

One way to maintain my dignity and hold onto any power in the group is to tell the person "I see you have a problem with the song. I respect for you and the others in this group and I'll sing it some time when you're not here." I have to be careful notr to slip some fighting words in there which I sometimes try to do surrepticiously (sp) and then blame the resulting sparks on her.

I am vulnerable to shaming. I become a little boy if someone hits me with shame the right way, especially if it reminds me of a parent or other person who may have shamed me as a boy. If I maintain my composure and don't let my power slip away I'll be alright.

Hope that's a help.
TonyK