Mudcat Café message #3732627 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #142631   Message #3732627
Posted By: VirginiaTam
23-Aug-15 - 01:52 PM
Thread Name: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
Hello shipmates. Sorry I've been on such a long shore leave. Much much much going on on both sides of the pond regards elderly parents. I think we almost have my 88 year old Mamma sorted out. Going to help my younger brother in Indiana pay for stairlift so she can live at his part of the year and then wth other family in Florida during the colder months.

Things got very bad. She had several falls, needed heavy pain killers including injections. Squatters living in her house stealing her pain meds and food. They are gone thankfully. Took calling the police several times and putting in notice to quit. Her house is crumbling and mortgage is more than value of house. We are hoping to help her sell up and refinance remainder of loan so she is not paying stupidly high interest.

Parents in law in Strat u Avon another problem. Dad (98) is finding it near impossible to cope with Mum (88) who's dementia is getting quite bad. He is finally considering assited living. We are moving to Shropshire end of September which puts us much nearer. But we have no idea what kind of placement and care they want/need. Dad does not want to be separated from Mum. So many places won't let a couple stay together if one has dementia. They have good pension, savings and fully paid off nice flat in theatre area of Strat U Avon. So money is not really that much of an issue. We just want to keep them together as long as possible.

Should they buy a retirement 2 bed bungalow and hire in full time carer/ domestic? Shoudl we be looking at a place with activities Dad seems only to want to sleep though it may be sheer exhaustion from keeping a 5 foot toddler in hand.   Mum has started to wander, constantly tidies things away so they can't be found. Starts to make tea and then puts mugs with milk away in the cupboard. Often doesn't recognise Arthur as her long time husband but only as someone who now lives where she currently is. once when we were visiting she was determioned to go out of door onto balcony in order to get to her house she was certain was behind the trees across the street. I am terrified she will fall from one of the balconies. They are in a first floor flat.

Any advice gratefully considered.