Mudcat Café message #3598097 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #142631   Message #3598097
Posted By: Janie
04-Feb-14 - 01:23 AM
Thread Name: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
Haven't been posting, but have been reading, sending good thoughts, chuckling, commiserating.

Wendy, don't ever call yourself a coward. Families can be so complicated. You have so much on your plate and I don't think you appreciate the courage it takes to engender and actually personify the sense of responsibility - the values many of us have, but don't necessarily put into practice when the going gets tough. What you have taken on with respect to caring for your mother is certainly about love, but also about putting your values regarding family responsibility into action. And those values also come into play with how to deal with your brother. It really is true that sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. It may also be the reality that you need your energy to care for your mother and husband and an overt dust-up with your brother is simply too overwhelming to contemplate at present. Particularly if your experience with him is that nothing would likely get resolved even if you confront him. Not dumping on or judging your brother, mind you, just sayin....Sometimes we have to choose our battles. However tense or conflicted your relationship with your brother may be, especially with regard to your mother, it is a relationship and is important. Families. Everybody has one. Personalities. Everyone has one. All of us have family members who present challenges to us either as a family or as individuals. They are still family, and there are no generic blueprints. Love and light to you and your entire family, Wendy. Just trust that you are awesome and will find your own internal wisdom regarding how you process this. Ain't no right or wrong or weak or strong in these matters. Just figuring out what seems likely to work best among a universe of imperfect solutions.

What I probably can best offer that might help rather than that long paragraph above is a very heart-centered {{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}.