Mudcat Café message #3588108 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #152764   Message #3588108
Posted By: GUEST,Firecat's Fiendly Fat Flyer
01-Jan-14 - 10:46 AM
Thread Name: BS: 2013 Secret Santa tormenting can begin
Subject: RE: BS: 2013 Secret Santa tormenting can begin
My dear, you have NO idea! I do so beg your pardon for this unavoidable delay in the delivery of your gifts. It was Christmas Eve, I was boarding my slay...ah, sleigh...when a young man in uniform asked me to step aside. They then searched me...ME! SANTA CLAUS!...and searched my bag of presents. The confiscated the little toy drums and little toy trains as not being conducive to good order, and as for the dolls -- well, I have rarely encountered such dirty minds! THEN they threw me into gaol, confiscating the stub of my pipe so I did not even have the solace of bubbles encircling my head like a wreath (I gave up smoke a century back).

I met the most unpleasant people there! If I had my naughty and nice list with me I could have checked it, but I am quite certain that they are on the "naughty" side.

But I was finally freed and the warders all apologised, explaining that an overly zealous airline security person was at fault. I accepted the apology and offered to discipline the clerk for them but they declined my offer of boiling the wretch in oil.

Anyway, your package may not make it in time for your birthday, but you WILL receive it soon.

As for those people I met in prison, well, they shan't be getting any presents for years and years, if ever. That includes the screws.

But I do hope you enjoy yours. I have selected them especially for you, you know.