Mudcat Café message #3587307 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #148849   Message #3587307
Posted By: Uncle_DaveO
29-Dec-13 - 10:39 AM
Thread Name: BS: First Joke Thread of 2013
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke Thread of 2013
"A Horse of a Different Color..."

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from
one generation to the next, says that when you discover
you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in modern business, because of the heavy
investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other
strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including but
not limited to the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Threatening the horse with termination.

4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.

6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

7. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse.

8. Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share.

9. Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

10. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."

11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

12. Harness several dead horses together for increased
speed.

13. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby
deducting its full original cost.

14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's
performance.

15. Do a time management study to see if the lighter riders
would improve productivity.

16. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses
run faster.

17. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and
therefore performs better.

18. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for
dead horses.

19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for
horses.

20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

21. Apply for a government subsidy to retrain dead horses.