Mudcat Café message #3582065 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #142631   Message #3582065
Posted By: Bat Goddess
06-Dec-13 - 12:15 PM
Thread Name: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
This is actually the first time I've had breathing space (at least breathing space AT THE COMPUTER) to be able to read this thread from just before Tom died on November 14th (three weeks...three minutes...three sense of time is totally screwed up) til this morning.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, hugs, support, good thoughts, comfort... I may not have been reading here, but I felt them all...

Those who don't read Curmudgeon's obit thread or my scribblings on the de-clutter thread (which also acts as a support group) may not know that my mother in Milwaukee (age 85) passed away a little over a week after Tom. For the past several years she has known that if she died, I couldn't leave Tom to come to her funeral -- and she was okay with that. I just wish she'd given me a little bit more time to come to grips with losing Tom before she let go. At least her funeral isn't until Dec. 16th, so I don't have to fly out until a few days before. Could use some prayers that the weather holds, too!

I'm getting things accomplished...packed some stuff off to Goodwill, giving other significant things to friends, donating his wheelchair and other equipment...trying to get some household repairs done, too (like the electrical work that was scheduled for the day he died).

I still cry when I least expect it and that's frustrating only when I'm trying to talk to someone (and I haven't yet mastered the art of talking intravenously). Yesterday was a weepy day; don't know why. (Three weeks? Why then more than any other day since November 14th?) I've learned to, well, enjoy the sobs, my eyes tearing up, tears running down my cheeks. Remembering. I seldom cried as a child and for the next 60+ years, mostly cried from frustration. Could never seem to cry to gain that sort of release that I needed, such as when my father died. I no longer seem to have that problem...

Looks like I'll be a regular here...