Mudcat Café message #3579268 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #63952   Message #3579268
Posted By: wysiwyg
26-Nov-13 - 07:16 AM
Thread Name: BS: Bereavement
Subject: Bereavement: terms around death and dying
RE: terms around death and dying

"Cremains" is the term funeral directors settled on that they hope is accurate and not piling hurt upon hurt, that in their professional jargon among one another, clergy, and cemetery people simply means: "This specific funeral will involve a process that can and might helpfully take some time, as opposed to a quick embalming and burying."

That term often signals a professional who cares deeply about all aspects of what occurs at this difficult time. Most people I have known who are receiving the ashes of the person they have lost prefer to use the word "ashes," maybe because it has that sense of loss of so much more than the physical body that has passed.

You use the word that works for you. Whatever you say will truly be just the right thing to say. Whatever you find weird from others' words will truly be weird.

On this strange planet called "Bereavement" that Animaterra wrote so movingly about, I think nothing might feel really right-- it's all just what is, for now.