Mudcat Café message #3569029 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #152446   Message #3569029
Posted By: Bat Goddess
22-Oct-13 - 07:47 PM
Thread Name: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
Tom IS safe alone for short periods. He doesn't attempt things he knows will be unsafe like using the stove or the toaster oven. He can no longer make coffee or pour it for himself, so he can't injure himself attempting it. I make the coffee for him, pour it, put the cream in and stir it. If I'll be gone over mealtime, I leave him a meal that doesn't have to be heated or anything and where there are no obstacles to getting it.

His falls (except for the one where he broke his ankle) were ALL the result of Ambien, which he no longer takes. He hasn't fallen in the night since he stopped taking Ambien.

He has no infection -- we keep very close tabs on that because he has replacement heart parts.

I'm trying to clear out the other room on the ground floor for a single bed (he doesn't need a hospital bed) and his commode -- so he has a real bed and has more privacy than in the living room.

I'm the person who needs to take him to medical appointments -- NOT A STRANGER. He doesn't want Meals On Wheels (even if they were available -- I think most of the funding has been cut) and wouldn't eat them. He also doesn't want someone else bathing him (although I certainly wouldn't mind). What I do need (and his case manager from CFI/Medicaid is meeting with us soon) is someone to come in once a week or so and vacuum and dust and maybe clean the bathroom and kitchen. I change his dressings most of the time as the visiting nurses only come twice a week. (And I do a better job of it than they do.)

No, he's not a veteran. Yes, he's got good Medicare coverage (and Supplemental) as well as CFI/Medicaid (which so far hasn't done a damned thing).

Tom has had so much taken away from him -- his voice, his mobility, and his eyesight. By the way, how much he see varies not only from day-to-day, but at different times of the day. He's still learning how to be blind -- because it changes. One thing he NEEDS, really really NEEDS, is to be able to do as much as he can by himself. But he knows when to call me to help. And he's got all of his marbles. Thank God! No impairment of his brain. And he has learned to anticipate potentially dangerous situations and avoid them. (And I'm with him through all his medical stuff to keep doctors who don't know him from accidently killing him. We both trust his PCP and his cardiologist.)

The wheelchair company is getting a phone call first thing tomorrow morning. I don't know what the problem actually was today, but the chair collapsed and I can't get it opened up so Tom can sit in it. Their delivery person did NOT do the "training" or relay the information that he should have. Tom is in his old wheelchair for the time being -- but it has its own set of problems.

Right now I just need a day of nobody coming over and not having to go anywhere. And not having anything that needs immediate attention. Just a day -- to recover from the past two weeks of stress and spending as much time in the car between the house and hospital as I spent at the hospital with Tom. And, of course, nothing getting done around the house that needed to be done (which adds to the stress).

Believe it or not, HE needs some time to himself, too. And the EMTs are just down at the end of the road, so I think that emergency button would be a good idea just to be on the safe side.