Mudcat Café message #2833693 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #126345   Message #2833693
Posted By: catspaw49
09-Feb-10 - 04:06 AM
Thread Name: BS: Curmudgeon's Medical Woes - Winter 2010
Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon's Medical Woes - Winter 2010
That's it!!! Enough already! I demand fair play. Tom got a TEE and he was under for it?   No fair!!!!!   Since my only known allergy is to Versed, the "knockout drug of choice" for short procedures, I had to do a TEE with only some light sedative......AND IT SUCKED!!!!!!!

I've often believed there is some sick fuck somewhere who designs tests, maybe a whole roomful of them. And the biggest, nastiest, most sadistic, sick fuck in the whole damn place designed the TEE.

TEE means Transesophageal Echocardiogram. The idea is to get an Echocardiogram from the best and closest location which sadly is your esophagus. The test starts by numbing your throat then shoving a flex tube, which feels about the size of a garden hose with ridges, down your throat. Since I was only lightly sedated my gag reflex still wants to work and the friggin' nurse keeps reminding me to breathe.

"Take deep breaths Sir."   How the hell can you do that with a garden hose down your throat? Then the Doc joyously starts rotating the tube and sliding it up and down during the twisting. If I caould have reached my Cardiologist's balls at that point I'd have ripped his bag off. Then the gawdamn nurse again with that breathe deeply crap......My only reply is, "ARRwarrgeGGooogaGunhGunargurwaraaarrgagagaghuuhuuhiiiik," which is Hose-In-Throat language meaning, "I hope your gawdamn tits fall off you fuckin' bitch."

My last TEE was 8 years ago and I tell you true, it is the last one I ever intend to have. Somebody wants to try one of those again, they're going to have to retrieve the TEE flex tube from deep in their ass first.